Peta crept in with me, her eyes worried, but she said nothing, only lay at my side and put her head onto my lap. A soft purr rumbled through her. I placed my hand on her back, her presence soothing me.
“I missed you so very much, my friend,” I whispered.
She flipped a big paw over my thigh. “Never again, Lark. Where you go, I go, no matter the consequences. I cannot live with my heart missing from me. I will not do it again.”
I closed my eyes, leaned forward, and pressed my face into the back of her neck. “Let it be so.”
A tiny trill of agreement tripped out of her. I sat up, opened my eyes, and fought not to grab my spear.
Cactus peered over the lip of the deck, hanging upside down, smiling. But the smile looked like a frown, a death mask with his white teeth grinning and his hair stuck up all over. I sucked in a sharp breath as he reached out for me.
“Come inside, Lark. There are beds and the walls keep the wind out.”
Beds. Did he think I was going to fall into his arms and strip off my clothes? Idiot.
“No.”
“You’re just being stubborn again. You don’t need to. I know you’re tough. I know you are strong and beautiful. You don’t need to prove anything to me.” He dropped over the edge, flipping in the air so he landed in a crouch. He rubbed his hands into the soil, and a trickle of green ran down his arms.
“Making me flowers isn’t going to change my mind,” I said.
He startled. “How did you know?”
I shrugged. “A gift.”
He smiled. “So not a surprise, but you deserve it anyway.” A multitude of flowers erupted from the soil on long stalks, blooming around me in a matter of seconds. In under a minute the tiny space was full of every spring flower, every color, every scent from lavender to rose. Some I’d seen and some I’d not, some I had no idea what they were, which was impressive.
For a moment, it felt as though we were back in the Rim, hiding from our parents. Unaware of the world and the danger it held for us. For a moment, I could believe I was that little girl again, and he was going to be my prince.
The moment passed like the sun setting in one last burst of light before the darkness claims the sky; one last moment of defiance before it was done.
He crept in and sat on the other side of me. “I know I can be an ass.”
I closed my eyes. The last thing I wanted was an apology. “Don’t say anything more, Cactus—”
“I want to have that conversation now. The one you’ve been putting off. For years, if we are being honest.” He took my hand, and pressed it between his. “Lark. I love you, and nothing you say or do will change that. We love each other . . . I’ve loved you since we were children. That has to count for something.”
With my eyes closed and the smell of the earth and flowers infusing my skin and senses, it would have been easy to give in. But the raging storm and the sound of the trees creaking as they swayed were as strong in my ears as the scent of the flowers in my nose and on my tongue. There would never be peace in my life, not the way Cactus wanted. He didn’t understand.
Ash did. Ash knew me and knew I would always have to fight, that there would be no peace for me. Which was why I had to find him. He understood me in ways Cactus could never.
“I cannot be that person in your life, Cactus. I . . . don’t love you the way you want. Or deserve.”
“Bullshit.” His voice was soft as he leaned forward, his lips at the edge of my face.
Peta didn’t move, but a long low growl slipped out of her. “Prick, you push too far. Just like you always do because you are a selfish shit. She tells you the truth and you ignore her. Demand that she change her mind. Try to ply her with the emotions she does have for you. That is not love. That is manipulation and an attempt to control her.”
Her words resonated in my heart, and I opened my eyes, narrowing them as I did. Cactus was right in front of me, his face a breath from mine. I put a hand on his chest and pushed. “Back up.”
The hurt in his eyes was instant. “It’s not like that. I’m not trying to make you do anything. I think you get confused because of all the things that have happened and I just want you to see—”
Anger snapped along my spine as if the lightning outside our cover had struck my body. “I . . . get confused?”
Peta drew back and from the corner of my eye she shook her head. “Stupid. Very stupid, Prick.”
“Not like that. I mean . . .” He drew a breath. “This is two against one, you know. This conversation is between you and me. Not you, me, and your pussy cat.”
I pressed my hand into the earth in front of me and drew the power away from the plants he’d created until every last one shriveled into dried-up husks, the smell of the spring blooms dying on the air. I could have let go, but I didn’t. I kept drawing on the power of the earth, pulling all it would give me. Peta let out a squeak and Cactus shifted back until he was at the edge of the opening.
“I think it’s time you left.” The power roaring through me made my words hum and reverberate in the air.
“You’ve changed,” he said. “You aren’t the girl I fell in love with. That I’ve loved all these years. You aren’t yourself anymore, Lark.”
And then he was gone, back up to the human house to hide from me.
What had he said? That he would love me no matter what? So he’d either been lying or he was doing exactly as Peta said.
Making an attempt to manipulate me with the last of the love he knew lay between us.
The rage that lit me up was like nothing I’d ever felt.
Not even when I’d seen the truth of Bella’s past, and the abuse she suffered at the hands of Cassava, her mother. Watching my sister being beaten and manipulated as a child, through her own memories had been the fist time I’d truly unleashed my strength. The first time anger took my power and cast it far and wide in an arc of destruction. Since then, I’d been careful, so very careful not to lose control.
This moment eclipsed that anger. Not when I’d discovered the mother goddess was leading me by the nose to remove the rulers of the other families and replace them with the rulers of her choice had I been so hurt. Not even when I’d faced Blackbird and realized he was stronger than me, that I was at his mercy, had I been so frustrated.
I stumbled out from under the deck and ran to the edge of the cliff where the soft dirt met solid rock. Gathering the strength of the earth deep in my soul, I let it out, driven by rage, powered by pain and humiliation, and under it all, strengthened by Spirit.
I had no idea what I was doing, but for once, I didn’t care.
Spirit all but sang as I tapped into it, weaving it around the power of the earth until the two elements were a blur of colors racing up and down my arms, a beautiful twinning of deep green and the softest of pinks.
“What does he think? That I could survive two oubliettes and remain unchanged?” I screamed into the raging wind. “That I could survive the last battle that nearly ended our world and remain the weak maiden he knew as a child?”
The words were stripped from my lips as I said them, but they weren’t for anyone but myself. “That I would be the one he could tuck away from the world? That I would be his subservient wife? That I would let him be my hero?”
Peta was at my side, her paws wrapped around my lower leg, hanging onto me with all she had. She might have spoken, but I couldn’t hear it over my screams and the increasing storm. Couldn’t hear her over the emotions ripping through me as surely as the storm that kissed the land.
“I am my own hero. I will slay the dragons. I need no one to save me.”
The world heaved under me, Peta cried out . . . and I lost control of my power.
CHAPTER 2
y power took on a life of its own as it ramped up, increasing in leaps and bounds. I closed my eyes and mentally reached for both Spirit and Earth, doing all I could to draw them to me, to calm the raging powers. Like grabbing at wet reins on a runaway horse, the
hold I had was tenuous, at best.
Sweat poured from me as I struggled, fighting to pull it together.
Spirit was completely out of control, writhing around me, almost as if it were an entity all its own. And it wanted the power of the earth to rise and destroy things, to break free of my hold on it, to shatter the land.
Worm shit and green sticks, goblin shit and goose guts. This was not what I’d been planning. Not that I’d thought much about what I was doing. I’d been so filled with rage, I couldn’t hold back. I needed to let it out.
The sweat droplets rolled down my body in tiny rivers. As the sky opened up, rain joined the sweat, soaking me through as the edge of the ravine trembled under me. The rain chilled my skin, and sent steam curling from me. I gritted my teeth and with my eyes still closed, I focused everything I had on bringing my powers to heel.
The sound of rocks falling, the crack of stone, the steady trickle of pebbles sliding over the edge were all I heard. The earth beneath us groaned and tipped, as if it would buck me off into the abyss.
What the hell was happening? Why couldn’t I control my elements?
If I didn’t do something soon, both Peta and I would fall to our deaths.
The thought of Peta dying spurred my efforts. I took a stranglehold of Spirit and drew it to me, calming it, whispering that I would learn, pushing it back. Earth was easier once I had Spirit under control.
I opened my eyes, and realized I’d fallen to my knees at some point. I slung an arm over Peta’s shoulders. “That was too close.”
She shuddered. “I thought you had more time, but it looks as though you are closer to the edge than I thought.” Her green eyes blinked up at me and she pointed with a paw at the ravine. “No pun intended.”
“What do you mean . . . you thought I had more time?” I panted for breath around the words.
“Spirit needs to be trained. That is what I learned in my studies. Until it does, it will do this to you: steal your control and make you fight to do what you wish.”
I frowned and wobbled to my feet. The rage had burned out with the power and fear, a combination that left me exhausted beyond what I thought possible. “Are you sure?”
She nodded. “Yes. You had no control. I felt it through the bond. Spirit is gaining strength and until you understand it, it will make your life . . . difficult. Not impossible, just harder.”
“And if there is no training?” Because who the hell would I ask to show me the ropes? Cassava? I think not.
“You will burn out your powers, leaving you an empty husk.”
“Oh, well if that’s all.” I drew a breath and brushed a hand over my face, wiping off rain and sweat.
“Do not take this lightly,” she chastised.
I held a hand out to her. “I’m not. I just . . . I’m exhausted.”
Cactus stumbled up to us, his brows drawn in two deep slashes. He raised his voice to be heard over the howl of the wind. “Why did you do that? You could have killed someone.”
His unsaid words were that I could have killed him too.
“But I didn’t kill anyone. Did I?” I put a hand on my spear, balancing myself against a particularly hard gust of wind, the rain slapping at us—at this elevation, more ice than rain. Around us branches snapped in half and were flung with a violence that seemed as if the trees were attempting to spear us. Several landed at my feet, plunged into the ground like fallen arrows. From above, a squirrel chattered incessantly as if that would somehow slow the pace of the frenzied storm whipping around us. Or maybe he was thinking the same thing as me. That Cactus talked when he had no idea of what he spoke.
“Didn’t think about humans, did you?” Cactus stood and scanned the horizon, the accusation clear in his voice.
I narrowed my eyes. “Nothing happened, Cactus. And even if I had dropped off that edge, anyone foolish enough to risk being in a storm of this size deserves what they get. In particular the humans.” Anger coursed through me again, lighting a flame I thought I’d banked by throwing my weight around.
His eyes flicked to me and then away. “You won’t scare me from you, Lark.”
I threw my hands in the air, fully and totally exasperated. Making my way to the deck, I ducked under and sat against what I thought of as my pillar. Peta didn’t ease off the side of my leg as I crept through the short space.
Cactus ducked down, and I pointed a finger at him. “No. Go up to the house. I don’t want you in here.”
His jaw ticked and he spun on his heel, a flick of pebbles spraying out behind him, he moved so fast.
His feet on the deck pounded a steady thud that was gone swiftly. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around Peta, burying my face in her thick fur as a sigh escaped me. The warmth of her body and the steady rumble of her purr soothed me enough that I rested.
The storm raged, lashing the deck until it creaked and the wood sounded as though it held on by mere splinters. None of that mattered as fatigue rolled over me, pulling me under its spell completely. For the first time in days, I let myself sleep, falling into a place I feared like no other, and only because I clung to my familiar.
“I am here, Lark. I will not leave you,” she whispered into my ear as she curled around me, sharing with me not only her warmth but her strength too.
My dreams were fitful and full of death, blood, violence and an urgency I couldn’t place. The world was safe. The demons defeated. Yet the sense of time slipping through my fingers remained.
The feeling that I was missing something integral, something I needed to understand, yet couldn’t see was overwhelming.
What could possibly be driving the emotions that fired my adrenaline and jerked me awake, sweating and panting for breath? The darkness disoriented me and for a terrifying soul-sucking moment, I was entombed, held by man-made material I couldn’t escape, once more in an oubliette.
I lurched forward, stumbling over Peta’s sleeping form. She let out a cry, but I barely acknowledged her, barely recalled she was with me, so turned around as I was in my mind. Believing I was once again confined, swallowed by a prison I couldn’t fight.
Scrambling on my hands and knees, I spilled out from under the deck and onto the hard-packed dirt. Fear nipped at me, and I drove my hands into the loose earth, letting the power slowly fill my soul, and drive the haunting ghosts back. No one could take me while I held the earth’s power.
Except Blackbird. A shudder rippled down my spine. Blackbird . . . Raven . . . one and the same. My younger brother had betrayed our family, destroying so much of the Rim, I wasn’t sure it would ever come back.
A soft wind blew through the trees, and the sharp tang of pitch and decaying earth filled my lungs. I drew it in and out, slow and even as I calmed my racing heart. This was the smell of home. The fresh scent coaxed the fear out of me piece by piece. The moon hung heavy over the treetops, its light reflecting off the tips, tinting them silver in the darkness. In the aftermath of the storm, the world was peaceful, clean, and safe once more.
Peta trotted to my side. “I hear Cactus snoring. We could leave him and be home in a matter of hours.”
I grinned at her, though my lips wobbled. “I knew there was a reason I kept you around.”
She snorted and I took a step away from the cabin. I paused and looked back, the wide black windows staring at me still. How he could sleep in there, I had no idea. I shuddered and hurried away.
The trees and darkness away from the cabin didn’t bother me, not a bit.
“Tell me again what you know of Ash’s disappearance.” I pushed a low-hanging branch out of my way.
“Nothing more than what we both know. He hasn’t been back for a year, despite Bella lifting the banishment—”
“That has only been a few weeks. Not long enough for him to hear about it,” I said.
“But Griffin couldn’t find him,” Peta said. “That is what Blossom said. They sent Griffin and he didn’t find a trace of Ash anywhere.”
I gripped the haft
of my spear a little harder. I knew Peta didn’t actually know anything more than me. But I needed to ask the questions out loud because if they reverberated inside my head any louder, or longer, I would surely go mad with the sound of them.
With the battle over and the world safe, I had no distraction when it came to him. No reason to not think about him and where he was.
We approached the Rim from the eastern edge. I paused for a moment, running my hands over the trees. This was where my first challenge as an Ender had started. The eastern Rim carried a deadly lung burrower that spread through our Terraling family like a wildfire in the heat of summer. We’d lost at least half our family, and all the trained Enders. The only ones left had been Ash, Blossom, a few other trainees, and myself.
“The past, I see it in your face and feel it through our connection,” Peta said. “One day, you will have to let it go.”
She was right. I knew she was. Yet I couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened to our world if I’d not been pushed to the limit of my abilities. I shook my head. None of that mattered now. Peta was right; it was time to put the past behind me for good.
I picked up my pace. First to the Rim to check in with Bella and make sure she was safe. She would have info on Ash’s last whereabouts, I was sure. Or maybe Griffin would have something, a lead for me to go on.
Then I would be off to find Ash, wherever he was. With my goals set firmly in my mind, I felt my heart settle into an easy rhythm. The Rim was quiet this deep in the night. Movement here and there alerted me to the Rim guards, but they saw me and let me pass without question, only tipping their heads and raising their weapons in a silent salute.
Peta was still in her housecat form and she leapt up to me without warning. I scrambled to catch her as she laughed. “We have to work on your reflexes.”
“I’m not a cat, Peta.”
“More’s the pity. Imagine the fun we could have.” She winked. I shook my head and walked straight across the main section of the Rim. Houses sat in a two-mile-long narrow oval with the Spiral at the center. The destroyed Enders Barracks—six months after the battle and it stood as it had then; burned out and desolate—sat to one side of the Spiral. The seat of power for Terralings, the Spiral had been my home for a short while as a child. Not that I cared about that anymore, but I needed a place to sleep. With the Enders Barracks burnt out, that left the Spiral or my old home at the far edge of the Rim. I paused, thinking.
Rootbound (The Elemental Series, Book 5) Page 2
