“Yes.” My lips were numb and even that single word was difficult. Ash was gone. Would I have not felt his passing? Would my heart not have cried out as its other half was stripped from the world? I could not believe he was dead, refused to. Even though there was no reason for Bella to lie. No reason to think Griffin would mislead her. There was a body. They’d buried him.
But still, I couldn’t believe it.
“The hot spring is for healing, is it not?” Peta said as she led the way into the Spiral. The guards at the front wouldn’t make eye contact with me, not that I cared. I could barely move my legs, as if I’d been drugged. As if everything I’d faced in the last twenty years had finally come home to roost.
The pain, fear, and loneliness, the hope that kept me moving, was gone. Whatever motivation I had to fight was swept away in those few words Bella uttered.
I stumbled down the long stairwell that led to the hot spring, the torches on the side wall flickering as I passed. I stared at the flame, thought of Cactus, and even my anger with him and his selfishness was a mere spurt before it was swallowed in my misery.
My bare feet hit the fine sandy beach and I went to my knees. Peta was there in an instant, her head tucked under my chin, her paws on my chest. “Lark, into the water. Let the heat soothe some of this ache. Besides, you stink.”
I blinked down at her. “I stink?”
“Horrible. How long were you in that oubliette? Have you bathed since you got out?” Her words were mundane, the everyday tasks of life. Forcing me to be aware.
“I haven’t.”
“I can tell.” She butted me again under the jaw. “Strip and get in that water.”
I did as she told me, peeling the clothes from my body one by one, shedding them with an almost painful slowness.
Naked, I stepped into the shallows, the heat enough to pink my skin immediately. I kept moving until the water reached my waist. Taking a breath, I dove in, the liquid heat rushing over my head. With big strokes, I drove my body through the water, deeper, closer to the source of the heat until it was too much, my body crying out for the cool brush of air. Rolling in the water, I swam toward the surface.
Stroke after stroke, I should have been at the surface already. A strange sense of detachment rolled over me as I realized someone was trying to kill me. I didn’t care. Ash was gone and it was the final loss . . . I no longer cared what happened to me.
Peta. Her panic lit a fire in me, and I drove my body forward through the water. I would not give up, if not for myself, then for her. Ash was my love, of that there was no doubt. But Peta was my soul, and I would not leave her behind. A current, like a pair of hands, wrapped around me and drew me down to the source of the heat. I didn’t close my eyes, didn’t stop swimming, but the dark water blurred my vision, the heat seared my lungs as I could no longer hold out, but drew in a breath.
Flipped upside down, I broke through the surface of the water, coughing, vomiting the fluid in my lungs. The cries of seabirds called to my ears and the cool ocean waves lapped against my skin. Crawling forward, I made it to the edge of the water before I looked up.
I knew what I would see. I was just putting off the inevitable. The woman in front of me looked like my mother, Ulani, with her long blond hair and blue eyes, trim body and faintly pale blue gown. Though it was just a mask, a covering for the woman she truly was.
My eyes met hers. “Hello, Viv.”
The mother goddess smiled back, her eyes full of a soft sorrow. “Hello, Larkspur. Are you ready to save the world one more time?”
CHAPTER 4
curled my fingers into the wet sand, but felt no thrumming power of the earth respond to my call.
“Here, I rule, Lark. You cannot touch your powers unless I allow it.” She crouched in front of me. “I know you are hurting, child. I know you think I have betrayed you. I know all these things. But you see only the trees in front of you, not the forest as it spreads around you, as it threatens to swallow you whole.”
“You think that because you see everything, and I can’t, I shouldn’t grieve for him?” I stayed where I was, the water lapping at my feet and legs. I wasn’t sure if she was deliberately trying to piss me off, but if she was, it was working.
“Grief,” she tucked her fingers under my chin, forcing my head back at a sharp angle, “it is a tool like every other emotion.” Her eyes became thoughtful. “I have grieved for thousands of years, for things my children have done. For what they have become. And now . . . I have one last task to ask of you.”
The last time I’d seen Viv, I’d told her to get stuffed. That she was asking for my help told me volumes. “Blackbird turned on you, didn’t he?”
Her eyes flicked to me and away. “No. But I cannot trust him. Both sides of my nature realize he is . . . unstable. And for what I have need of, unstable is the last thing that would help. He has gone his own way, and I feel that is best.”
“A task? I thought you wanted me to save the world?” The bitterness flowing over my words didn’t escape me as I settled onto my heels, so we both crouched at the edge of the water.
“A task that would save the world, and one that I wished would never come to light.” A heavy sigh slid out of her. “I’d hoped this day was never to be seen by any but in their darkest nightmares. I’d hoped I’d never have to see my children fall so far, but it seems this is my fate. And yours.” Her blue eyes narrowed. “Will you listen to my plea?”
The mother goddess had never been so . . . thoughtful when it came to demanding I do something. Or manipulating me into the things she’d wanted me to accomplish. I wasn’t sure I liked this new side of her any better.
I dug my toes into the sand, thinking. If she needed my help, and was willing to be gracious, listening was the least I could do.
“I’ll listen.”
She stood and held a hand out to me. I didn’t take it, but stood on my own. Her lips tightened, then smoothed. “You do not have to always be stubborn, child.”
Her words were too much like Cactus’s for my liking.
My lips tightened, mimicking hers. “I’ve had too many hands held out to me in friendship and help that have turned into venomous snakes.”
With a deep breath, she nodded. “That is true, forgive me. Walk with me, Lark.”
We started down the beach. I couldn’t help glancing back. There was no sign of the hot springs I’d left, no sign of Peta coming after me.
The mother goddess held her palm out to me, fingers spread wide. “You know of the five stones, Lark. You have handled them all at one point or another.”
I said nothing and she went on. “They were not designed to be held by elementals; they are far too powerful when added to power an elemental already has. Designed to be held by humans, the stones will drive those elementals who hold them tightly, mad.”
Bella’s strange behavior reared its head and I gritted my teeth. I knew something had been wrong, something that had nothing to do with Bella.
The mother goddess glanced at me. “I see it in your face. You have witnessed this already?”
“Bella.”
Her chin dropped to her chest. “She will be the easiest to take the stone from, I believe. She’s not held it very long.”
“I gave it to her over twenty-five years ago.”
She shook her head. “Belladonna has kept the emerald stone locked away. It has only been since the battle with the demons that she’s worn it.”
The tension across my shoulders eased. “Why would the stone drive her mad?”
The mother goddess pursed her lips, and her eyes grew thoughtful before she spoke. “The stones were created to defend the human world against the elementals. They are imbued with a sentient power that will always seek to battle other elementals.” She looked at me as if I could fill in the pieces.
“So the more Bella wears it, the more aggressive she will become? Toward other elementals?” Another thought hit me. “And that is the real reason you won’t send Bl
ackbird, isn’t it?”
“Yes. Bella will turn on her own people, but more, she will turn on the other families. She will become suspicious, paranoid. It is partly what hurried Cassava’s downfall. Not only the use of Spirit, which can be deadly in and of itself to those uninitiated,” she gave me a heavy look, “but the property within the stone itself wreaks havoc on the soul.”
She paused and clasped her hands in front of her. “And yes, that is another reason I will not ask Blackbird to help me. He would as soon use the stones for his own gain, which I have already seen. He would be . . . far too deadly to have his hands on them. I believe he may be hunting for them too.”
And there it was, the real reason she needed my help. “You helped make him what he is, telling him he was your chosen one. Now, he’s a menace.”
She touched my arm where the mark of the vine and thorn rested. “Which is why you must get to the stones first. You are not like him, Lark. You do not want power; you do not want to rule. I should have seen from the beginning that you were the better choice. Unlike your brother, you always try to make things right. He only wants things the way he sees fit.”
Her trust warmed me and I fought the desire to please her. While she was the mother goddess, we had not seen eye to eye for a long time. “Has he retrieved any of the stones?” My mind raced ahead to the possibilities.
“No. You have time yet. Not much, but time nonetheless.” A soft smile worked over her lips. As if I’d already said yes, which just pissed me off. I folded my arms and tipped my chin up.
“From Bella, I could take the stone, but why would I bother with the others? That won’t save the world. It may save the other families, but I rather doubt the world will miss them.”
The mother goddess stopped and put her hands on my shoulders. “Blackbird has lost his mind; the use of Spirit has broken him. He plans to rend the world in half when he gathers the five stones. Lark, he will destroy the entire world. And he would be strong enough with the stones to do it.”
I stopped breathing, stood there with no air as her words burrowed into me until I was forced to suck in a breath. “That is not possible.”
She nodded. “It is, and he is nearly strong enough to do it on his own. With the stones, it would be a sure thing.”
Truth, her words had the ring of truth, and I hated it. “I saw him at the battle. He was not mad.”
Why in the seven hells was I defending him?
“I know you don’t want to believe it possible.” She reached out and took one of my hands in hers. “He does not hide his desires from me. Between his mother, the way she twisted him, and the power he’s wielded from a young age, he is not sane. Even if he seems to be.” She shook her head and a heavy sigh slipped out of her. “Lark, please—”
“Why don’t you get them yourself?” I brushed her hands off mine. “You are the mother goddess. Go to your rulers, take the stones back. You don’t need me to do it.”
Anger flashed across her face, a dark shadow that was there and gone so fast I almost missed it.
“I cannot. I must follow my own rules. I must not interfere directly with my children’s lives. It is impossible. I must work through those I have chosen to speak for me. Those I trust to accomplish tasks I am unable to do. That is why you must do this. This is a task only you can accomplish.” She spun, her long braid whipped out around her, and for a moment I could believe she was my mother in truth.
No, I pushed that thought away. That was the kind of thinking that would leave me vulnerable to her demands. I couldn’t help myself with what spilled out of me next. Cactus was right. I was too stubborn for my own good, even if I would never admit it out loud.
“And if I say no? What then?”
Her shoulders drooped. “There will be no ‘then.’ You and Blackbird are the only ones strong enough to take the stones from the other rulers, Lark. If you will not, he will, and then we will all die.” She looked over her shoulder, and her face blurred. The ocean tugged at my feet, pulling me back though I held my ground.
“I did not say I would do it!” I yelled at her.
“The child of golden hair, you know of the one I speak?” she called to me, her voice curling through my mind as the scene before me faded. “The child that would have been yours had you stayed in the Rim, and not done as I’d asked. He can still be yours, Lark. But not if you fail in this. Not if the world is destroyed.”
The child . . . the child that would have been Ash’s and mine.
The implication was as clear to me as a reflection in a mirror polished to a high sheen.
Ash was alive.
“This is the last task I would ask of you, child of mine. The final journey, and you will be free to live your life however you choose, with whomever you choose.” Her final words were the clincher. Damn her for striking to the core of me. The ocean water warmed until I was no longer shivering but fighting to get away from the heat. The bright sun cutting through dimmed to mere flickers of torchlight beckoning me to the surface.
I burst out of the water of the hot spring, gasping for air. A spotted snow leopard surfaced beside me, bedraggled and frantic, her green eyes wider than I’d ever seen before they narrowed to mere slits.
“Lark! You’re going to be the death of me!” She made as if to swat me and I backpedaled. I didn’t need any new scars.
“It was not my fault. The mother goddess pulled me under.” I took a stroke, heading back to shore. Peta swam beside me, huffing and puffing.
“How long was I under?”
“Ten minutes. The only thing that kept me from losing my mind was that I could sense you. I knew you were alive.” Her green eyes stared straight ahead. “I’m too old for this, Lark. My poor heart can’t handle the stress.”
I laughed and she glanced at me. I reached out to her, pushing her sideways in the water. “Peta, you are hardly old.”
She snorted. “I’ve been through too much and it has aged me. Most of it with you.”
“That I would agree with. I’ve no doubt most of your grays are from me.”
“Did you just make a joke?”
“Maybe.” I couldn’t help it, hope was filling me where the grief had been. A dangerous thing, hope was, but I couldn’t stop myself from believing in the mother goddess’s words.
We reached the shore and I slogged out. The clothes I’d shed were filthy, not to mention human clothes, and I left them on the ground, bending only to pick up my spear.
“Lark, what happened? You seem . . . better,” Peta said.
“Ash is alive. I’m sure of it.” I strode up the stairs, the water beading on my skin and dripping off which left me shivering, but I barely took note of it. Ash was alive, and I would find him.
“Lark, I want it to be true as much as you but—”
“The mother goddess,” I struggled with how to explain my certainty. I knew why the mother goddess had done it—she knew me as well as I knew myself. “Just, trust me. Ash is not dead. I think . . . I have to prove it, though. To be sure.”
“Why?” Peta padded along beside me. “Why do you have to prove it?”
My jaw ticked. “I won’t take Viv at her word, I can’t trust her. This could be another game, another manipulation. But how the hell do I prove he isn’t dead?”
Peta paused at the top of the stairs and I stopped with her. She tipped her head to one side. “I saw . . . an old charge of mine delve a grave once using Spirit. He said he could tell if the person was the person actually in the grave or not.”
Two guards went by as I stood there, breathing hard, soaking wet, completely naked. Their eyes widened. I didn’t recognize either of them. “What are you looking at?”
The one on the left grinned. I pointed my spear at him. “One wrong word, boy, and I’ll see you on latrine duty for the rest of your life.”
His grin faltered. “I was going to tell you where to find clothes.”
“I know where to find the damn clothes,” I snapped and strode away. Othe
r Terralings all but leapt out of my way as I headed toward the kitchen. Not that the kitchen was where the clothes were, but the storehouse off to the side was.
The kitchens were quiet this time of day, and I wasn’t stopped as I headed for the storeroom.
Everyone knew who I was, and my reputation for destruction. For once, it played in my favor to be known as a bad ass.
Clothing was a necessity, but it took all I had not to rush out to the graveyard on the southeast side of the Rim. I hadn’t been there in years, not since my mother and brother were laid to rest.
The storeroom held several sets of Rim Ender uniforms. The leather vest and snug-fitting dark brown pants were tucked away at the bottom of a chest. I pulled them out. The vest I chose had a score mark across the chest. I ran a finger over it. “This was Ash’s.”
“Are you sure?”
“When we were in the Pit the first time, he got this mark from our first fight with the other Enders.” I pulled the vest on, lacing the sides up so it fit me. Pants next and then a leather belt that I hung two smaller bags from. I turned, and Peta sat in the doorway, blocking my way.
“Peta, move.”
“Not until you tell me what the mother goddess asked of you. She gives nothing free, Lark. I know that.” Her green eyes narrowed.
“Not here. I will tell you, but not here.”
“What if she is wrong? What if he is dead? Have you thought that through?” She followed me out of the storeroom and up the stairs.
“Yes. No. I don’t know, Peta. I will not even consider that she is wrong at this point.”
“That is dangerous,” Peta shook her head, “but I understand.”
I dropped a hand and ran it down the length of her back. “Thank you, my friend.”
We hurried and were outside of the Spiral in a matter of minutes. I took a deep breath, drawing in the smells around me. Redwoods, ferns, budding flowers, the smell of someone cooking. This place should have felt like home. Yet I knew it wasn’t, not really. Not anymore.
Home was wherever Ash was.
Someone bumped me from behind and I spun, instantly angry, expecting Cactus. Shazer snorted on me, snot flying from his flaring nostrils. “Lark, I have been looking for you. We must talk. There is something I have to tell you.”
Rootbound (The Elemental Series, Book 5) Page 4
