by L. M. Brown
“How is she dealing with that?” Michael asked.
“She’s been doing fine. We’ve been assisting her in faking her own death and forming new identities.”
“Thank you.”
“She’s family,” Gabriel said. “Ardat seems to be monitoring her too. She’s made contact with Michelle several times over the last few decades.”
“To what purpose?”
“She tells Michelle she just wishes to get to know her. If she has any other agenda, we don’t know what it is. Michelle is cautious and her angelic powers far outweigh her demonic heritage. She is strong and wise. Don’t worry about her too much. We’re taking care of her.”
Michael nodded as he continued to search for his friends and family through the pool. Once he had assured himself that everyone was well and happy, he said goodbye to Gabriel and walked home.
Chapter Twenty
The next morning Michael still had no idea what he would say to Lucifer, though he suspected he might not have the opportunity to say much at all if Lucifer was still angry about what he had done.
Michael sat on the beach, staring at the cliff face. He supposed he couldn’t put it off any longer.
He was halfway to the concealed tunnel when he remembered he no longer had his powers and couldn’t open the passage. Cursing himself for being an idiot, he retraced his steps and went to track down Gabriel. He found him working in his garden, just as he had always done. The familiar sight was a welcome one.
“Can you help me open the door to the Underworld?” Michael asked. “I think it’s time for me to go see what Lucifer has to say for himself, but without my powers I can’t get down there. Can I syphon a little from you, just enough to open the tunnel?”
“He’s not in the Underworld,” Gabriel said. “He’s in one of our cells.”
Michael frowned, knowing something wasn’t quite right about that. “But our cells could never hold him. He’s far too powerful.”
“He came here voluntarily,” Gabriel explained. “He hasn’t tried to escape, though we’re all a little puzzled as to why.”
Michael was equally confused but simply added the mystery to the long list of questions he already had for his lover.
Gabriel offered to fly Michael to the cells, which were located deep in the mountains, and Michael accepted. While the journey on foot would have given him the chance to get his thoughts together, he suspected every sensible notion would fly from his head as soon as he saw Lucifer.
They arrived at the cells and Gabriel announced his intention to visit some of the other fallen angels. He explained that he had been speaking with many of them in recent decades, hoping to bring some back to the light. They made arrangements to meet in a few hours, and Michael took the final steps to Lucifer’s cell.
The first thing to surprise him was the open door, though since Lucifer could break out whenever he chose, doors seemed rather pointless objects anyway.
Lucifer sat in a cushioned chair, a book in his hand and a cat on his lap. Michael gaped when he recognized the animal as the childhood pet he had grown up with. How in the world had Lucifer tracked the animal down? He had passed away long before Lucifer had located Michael.
“Where did you find him?” Michael blurted.
Lucifer didn’t look up from his book as he replied, “He found me. I think he knew one day you’d walk through my door again. He had more hope of your return than I did.”
Michael crouched beside the chair and stroked the cat’s fur. “Hello, Tom Cat. Have you missed me?”
Lucifer snorted. “The moggy gets a greeting, but I don’t?”
“Hello, Lucifer.” Michael sighed. “I guess we have a lot to talk about, don’t we?”
“You could say that,” Lucifer replied, finally meeting Michael’s eyes. “I see you have your memories back—Gabriel, I assume—so how about you start explaining?”
Michael took the seat next to Lucifer’s. “I’m not sure where to begin,” he said. “I assume you know the petition to ban relationships between angels and demons was passed?”
“Yes, Gabriel told me.”
“My vote was the one to decide the issue,” Michael said.
“It was?”
“Yes.”
“Gabriel failed to mention that.”
“Aren’t you going to ask me why I voted for the ban?”
Lucifer put his book down on the small table. “I assume it’s because you were angry with me over my behavior in the Underworld.”
“No.”
“Don’t lie to me,” Lucifer said. “I know you were furious.”
“Of course I was angry. You humiliated me for the entertainment of your demons. But that’s not why I voted for the ban.” Michael stood and began to pace.
“It was nearly a week before I even knew about the ban,” Lucifer said. “When you didn’t come back I accepted you were probably angry with me. When I discovered you’d sealed the passageway I wondered if perhaps I had gone too far. Gabriel summoned me before the archangels and informed me of the ban, telling me you didn’t wish to see me. I presumed you had made the choice to keep your wings. It would have been nice to be consulted, since, last time I checked, there were two of us in this relationship.”
“I’m sorry. I should have told you what I intended to do.”
Lucifer nudged Tom Cat to the floor and rose to his feet. Michael cringed at the fury in his eyes. “Sorry? You left me without a backward glance, and you’re sorry?”
“Don’t you dare play the victim!” Michael shouted back. “You treated me like a whore in front of your demons. You used your powers on me. You kept me from leaving the Underworld. You manipulated me, just as you’ve always done, from the moment we met.”
“You didn’t even give me the chance to make amends.”
“You made it very clear what you wanted from me,” Michael raged as he rose to stand toe to toe with Lucifer.
“I wanted you to join me.”
“You wanted me for sex,” Michael yelled, scaring Tom Cat, who jumped up onto a nearby shelf. “Well, you can get that from any of your demons. There were plenty of them there that day who made it clear they’d be happy to take my place. If all you want is a cocksucker, you don’t need me.”
“Is that what you think?”
“That’s what you said.”
“I promised you I’d never take another into my bed for as long as we’re together.”
“Then why did you summon Gregor?” Michael asked. “You made me choose between humiliating myself or watching another man pleasure you.”
“I knew you’d stop him before his lips ever touched my cock.”
“And that’s what scared me,” Michael replied. “When it comes to you, I’d do anything to avoid losing you to someone else.”
“Not anything,” Lucifer said.
“Yes, anything,” Michael argued. “I came too close to falling that day. I didn’t want to, but if you’d asked me to fall from grace or watch you fuck another man, I’d have turned demon for you. That’s why I voted for the ban, Lucifer. Because when an angel loves a demon to such an extent, it’s too dangerous to be allowed to continue.”
Lucifer’s anger dissipated as quickly as it had appeared. He sat back down and Michael returned to his seat too. “You were that close to falling?”
“I won’t—can’t—turn demon,” Michael said. “You know that, you’ve always known that.”
Lucifer nodded. “Yes, I know. Even when I had no idea where you were, or what you had done, I knew falling had never been an option. I had demons searching the earth for you for years, until word finally reached me that your aura had been spotted. I raced there, eager to see you again, only to find a human who treated me as if I were a stranger.”
“You were a stranger to me,” Michael pointed out.
“I know,” Lucifer said. “That’s when I realized how much I had lost, entirely through my own selfish actions. I’m so sorry, Michael. The last time I saw you—in
the Underworld, that is—I was drunk on the power boost from the fallen angels. I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did. My behavior was inexcusable. I love you, and I beg your forgiveness.”
“We’ve both made mistakes,” Michael said. “I knew it was the power boost making you act that way. I should have waited for you to sober up before I made any hasty decisions. I should have at least spoken to you before I fled for Earth. I think it’s about time we started communicating properly, don’t you?”
Lucifer stuck out his hand. “Agreed.”
They shook on it and Michael reluctantly released Lucifer’s hand. “So, how long have you been living here in this cell, instead of in the Underworld?”
“Since you refused my offer.”
“Why would you choose imprisonment over freedom?”
“Two reasons,” Lucifer replied. “Firstly, I wanted to distance myself from the Underworld and the power that makes me say and do things I shouldn’t. It’s easier to resist temptation when you’re removed from it.”
“And the second reason?”
“I wanted you to be able to visit me, as you are now. Without your powers you can’t open the passageway.”
“I could have borrowed some power from one of the other archangels.”
“You can do that?” Lucifer asked.
“Yes.”
“I never knew that.”
“We’ve learned a few tricks since you were one of our number. Only the archangels can loan powers in such a way, and it has to be agreed, never stolen, but Gabriel wouldn’t hesitate to help me.”
Lucifer smiled. “I rather like Gabriel, you know? I came to know him quite well while he was escorting me on Earth. I can see why you’re friends.”
“Hmm. That wasn’t the impression I got whenever I saw the two of you together. You were always sniping at each other.”
“Angels and demons,” Lucifer replied. “It’s something of a habit.”
Michael chuckled and shook his head. “Any excuse. You two could have been friends, if you’d given each other a chance.”
“Maybe one day we will be,” Lucifer said. “So, now you know why I chose to be incarcerated here, what else would you like to know?”
Michael frowned. “I already know Gabriel and Raphael warned you off after you first found me, not that you took any notice of them.”
“Your bodyguards told me to stay away, or else. At first I wondered if I should respect your wishes, but when I found out you’d been targeted by some of my more mischievous minions, I defied the archangels to keep an eye on things.”
“I was targeted?”
“Gabriel didn’t tell you?”
Michael shook his head.
“Didn’t you ever wonder why you had so many accidents after you first met me? Or why you seemed to attract the wrong type of men?”
“Coincidence?”
“Demonic influence,” Lucifer corrected. “I did my best to protect you, and Gabriel helped as well. Between the two of us, we managed to stop the worst of the attacks, without you ever knowing about them. I suppose, I should confess, I didn’t exactly do a lot to stop the parade of losers you began to attract, thanks to a group of lower-class sex demons who had put the whammy on you.”
Michael had made many enemies over the years, and he supposed he shouldn’t be surprised the demons delighted in causing him trouble while he was most vulnerable. “I guess now I know why my love life was so abysmal.”
Lucifer smirked. “It wasn’t all bad. I recall there were a few enjoyable nights.”
Michael glared at Lucifer until his smirk disappeared. “Three nights out of a lifetime of loneliness?”
“You weren’t that lonely,” Lucifer reminded him. “You had plenty of sex, just not with me.”
From the sulky expression on Lucifer’s face, Michael suspected he should probably let the subject drop, but there was one more thing he wanted to know. “There could have been more if you’d pursued me a little harder. Why did you disappear on me?”
“You refused my offer,” Lucifer reminded him.
“I know, but that wouldn’t usually stop you. Why didn’t you come back with a better one?”
Lucifer looked away and wouldn’t meet his eyes.
Michael left his chair and knelt at Lucifer’s feet. “Tell me, Lucifer, why did you give up on me?”
“Because I finally accepted I couldn’t give you what you wanted,” Lucifer whispered. “I couldn’t make you happy.”
“That’s not true,” Michael argued, but Lucifer raised his hand.
“Before I fell from grace, I put pressure on you to place me before all others. Since I fell, all I’ve done is use you for my own pleasure while trying to convince you to join me in my damnation. I never once thought about what you wanted. With or without your wings, you’ll always be an archangel. It’s part of who you are, and I had no right to ask you to give that up. Then, after you left me to be reborn, I tried to lure you into my world again. Even knowing you’d gone to such extremes to escape me, I tried to drag you back, at the time when you were most vulnerable. I never made you happy, because I never thought of your feelings, only my own.”
Michael took Lucifer’s hand and squeezed his fingers. “You love me. That makes me happy.”
“But it’s not enough, is it?”
“I don’t know,” Michael admitted. “I gave up my wings and ran away rather than face our problems head-on. I was terrified of falling from grace.”
“I should never have asked you to.”
Michael released Lucifer’s hand and turned round so he rested his head against Lucifer’s leg, letting his lover stroke his hair. “What are we going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
They sat quietly and Michael watched Tom Cat play with a bowl of water on the sideboard. The kitty’s antics were a pleasant distraction. “He seems to like that bowl,” Michael commented.
“He’s trying to figure out why he can’t see anyone in there,” Lucifer said.
“What do you mean?”
“The water is from the pool of visions. Gabriel brought it to me, so I could watch you on Earth. Tom Cat liked to view you too.”
“Spied on by my lover and my cat.” Michael chuckled. “An unusual pair of voyeurs.”
“I didn’t watch you have sex,” Lucifer told him. “I found it too painful to see you with other men.”
“I’m sorry.”
Lucifer continued to stroke his hair and Michael closed his eyes, content for the moment to forget everything except what happened in the here and now.
“I can’t speak for the cat, of course,” Lucifer added. “He could be a secret perv.”
Michael laughed and tilted his head to see Lucifer’s teasing smile. “Idiot.”
“I prefer the term fool.”
“Fool then. What else have you been doing in here for the last sixty years?”
“Ask the question you really want to know,” Lucifer said.
Michael sighed. Lucifer had always known him too well. “Did you replace me?”
“No.” Lucifer tilted Michael’s chin. “I swear to you, there has been no other since the day you left me. You have always been the only one for me.”
Michael believed him. He should never have doubted his faithfulness. “What have you been doing to pass the time?”
“Thinking.”
“About what?”
“Anything and everything. What I want out of life, and what really matters. I even…”
“What?” Michael prompted when it seemed Lucifer had lost his train of thought.
“I talked to Him.”
“You did?” Michael was surprised. Lucifer hadn’t talked to Him since before his fall from grace, and, from what he could recall, hadn’t spoken to Him particularly frequently in the months preceding his fall.
“I asked him to watch over you,” Lucifer said. “Not that I needed to ask. He would never turn his back on one of his angels, not even one who has fallen s
o far as I have.”
Michael took Lucifer’s hand again and kissed the knuckles. Hearing from Lucifer’s own lips that he had prayed for him gave him hope such as he had never felt before. His heart swelled with love for the man beside him.
“Lucifer, will you take me to bed, please?” Michael asked. He wasn’t an angel at the moment and they weren’t breaking any rules. Michael didn’t think he could stop himself, even if they were.
Without a word, Lucifer drew Michael to his feet and led him into the adjoining room. Furniture in the room was sparse, but it did have a large bed, with cream sheets and covers, and that was all they needed.
Michael’s fingers trembled as he undid his robes. After so many years in modern clothes, he was relieved to be back in his familiar attire again, yet he still fumbled a little. Lucifer gently pushed his hands aside and undressed him. Michael wanted to do the same for Lucifer, but he was too nervous to even untie the cord of his belt.
When Lucifer had finally undressed them both, he took Michael’s hand and guided him onto the bed.
“Just so we’re clear, you’re not dreaming,” Lucifer told him with a wink.
“I know,” Michael replied. “I think a part of me always knew you were real, even if I didn’t know what you were or how you got into my room in the dead of night.”
“No lock can keep me from you,” Lucifer said. “Only our own stubborn natures can keep us apart. I’m working on mine, though.”
“Me too.”
Lucifer smiled and dipped his head to kiss Michael’s neck, softly and light as a feather. Michael sighed and closed his eyes, letting Lucifer rediscover his body, relearning all his most sensitive spots.
All it took were a few touches of lips on his skin, firm hands skimming his hips, and Michael was more aroused than he could remember being in years. No one had ever managed to give him as much pleasure as Lucifer did. Each stroke from the tip of a finger sent waves of desire through Michael’s body. He felt as though he had been sleeping for a hundred years and only now did he wake from his slumber.
Michael moaned softly as Lucifer worked his way up and down his chest and neck. He felt the press of lips against his ear, jaw, and cheeks. He opened his mouth a little, and Lucifer accepted his silent invitation, kissing him gently. Michael sucked on Lucifer’s lower lip, nipping at it when Lucifer tried to pull away.
