Not happening.
My body rattles with fear, but I refuse to allow him to continue to ruin my life. I muster up some strength from somewhere and take a step forward.
“Quinn, wait.”
I ignore Joe’s call and push my door open.
Everything looks exactly as I left it.
My only item worth any money, my laptop, is still sitting on the coffee table where I put it after work on Friday night.
“What the hell?” Joe asks, stepping into the flat and casting his eyes around the room.
“Maybe they got scared off after they broke in,” I offer as an explanation. He nods, accepting it as a possibility, but I know better.
This wasn’t kids, and no one was scared off.
This is a warning.
My stomach turns, bile burning up my throat as I think about him being here. In the one safe place I’ve got.
“Come home with me tonight.”
“What?” I ask, not registering the words he’s saying as I stand frozen in the middle of my living room.
“Come home with me. We’ll sort out a locksmith from there.”
“No, I—”
“No arguing. I’m not leaving you here.” His eyes scan over my face, and I hate to think of the terrified girl he probably sees. “Grab what you need for work tomorrow.”
I stare at him for a second or two. I desperately want to argue, but when his eyebrow twitches in a ‘don’t start with me’ gesture, I swallow down the words and turn towards the bathroom.
Stepping into the room, I go to gather up a few bits that I didn’t take with me this weekend, but I’m frozen in my tracks.
I try not to react, but I can’t stop a scream from passing my lips at the sight.
“Quinn?”
“Sorry, spider,” I shout back, pushing the door closed so he can’t look into the room.
I stare at the mirror hanging over the basin and fight to keep the contents of my stomach where they should be.
I’m watching you…is scrawled across the glass in red lipstick. The arsehole’s even finished it off with a little kiss.
My fists clench until my nails begin to cut into my skin.
The longer I stare at the words, the more my anger starts to bubble up within me. How dare he? How fucking dare he force his way into my new life in an attempt to scare me?
Racing forward, I grab a packet of face wipes that are sitting on the counter, pull a few out and start scrubbing.
I need him gone. Out of my life and out of my head. I’ve already spent enough years being controlled by him. I refuse to allow him to continue to do so.
Suddenly, the thought of the court case that’s to come doesn’t seem so daunting. This man needs putting behind bars—he has done for a long time. How he’s allowed to roam the streets after all the evidence that’s piling up against him is beyond me.
“Are you okay?” Joe’s concerned voice fills the small room and something inside me immediately settles. I need to tell him everything. If that monster’s after me, then I need him to know the truth.
“Yeah, just coming.” I double-check the mirror to ensure there’s no evidence left behind before pulling the door open and stepping from the room.
* * *
The ride to Joe’s place is in silence. I might have tried convincing him that that was just an everyday burglary, but I’m pretty sure I’m not fooling him. The way his fingers grip the wheel and the hard set of his jaw tells me he’s more than suspicious, and I’m incredibly grateful he’s managed to hold off the questions. For now at least.
He pulls up outside a pretty standard looking apartment building and drags our stuff from the back before guiding me towards the entrance.
There’s an out of order sign on the lift as we pass in favour of the stairs, and I follow him up to the third floor. This place isn't flashy by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s a hell of a lot better than the building I live in. There’s no graffiti over the walls, the paint looks relatively fresh, and the flooring isn’t chipped and fading.
“Come on, we should have the place to ourselves.”
“Oh, you don’t live alone?”
“No, this is my friend’s place. I’m currently crashing in her spare room, but she’s met someone and will be out with him.”
“Okay.” I nod and follow him into the flat. If he didn't tell me a woman lived here, then it would be instantly obvious. There are candles, cushions, and little girly trinkets everywhere. It’s cute, exactly how I’d want my home to look if I actually had one and a little money
I jump a mile when Joe drops the bags to the floor with a bang. I thought I’d managed to put what happened at my place behind me on the drive over, but it seems I might just be lying to myself.
“Fuck.” His eyes run the length of me, and for a second I fear he’s going to send me away. But when they return to mine a few shades darker, I realise it’s not with fear but something else entirely.
He takes a step forward. His hand glides across my jaw and his fingers thread in my hair so he can tilt my head to just the right angle for him to slam his lips on mine and plunge his tongue between.
His kiss is exactly what I need to forget. I lift my arms around his neck at the same time he lifts me and presses me back against the wall.
All thoughts of the man inside my flat this weekend leave as he kisses me like he might die without it.
I moan with desire as he trails his lips across my jaw and begins sucking on the sensitive skin below my ear.
“Let me make you forget.”
“Yes.”
“Let me make you feel safe.”
A noise rumbles up my throat, and when it erupts, I can only describe it as a needy purr. Whatever it is, it makes Joe smile against my throat, his weekend long scruff scratching at my sensitive skin and sending shivers down my spine.
His fingers make quick work of unzipping my coat before his palms cup my heavy, needy breasts. My head falls back and he makes the most of my exposed neck. As good as his hands feel, I need them on my skin.
“More, Joe. More.”
He pulls back and his eyes are wild with desire. “I’ll give you everything, Quinn.” His eyes lock onto mine, and the intensity and honesty within them make me want to look away, to break our connection, but it’s too strong. All I can do is stare back, hoping like hell he’s not going to break me even worse than my past tried to.
He’s totally lost one second and then seems to remember exactly what he’s meant to be doing the next.
My skirt is pushed up around my waist, and my boot covered legs loosen around him so he can slip his hand between us.
Like an expert, he pops the button on his jeans and pushes them and his boxers down his thighs before pulling the lace of my knickers aside.
The head of his cock nudges against my entrance. I expect him to push straight inside, but instead I find him leaning forward so he can whisper in my ear. “I don’t have all that much to give you. But this,” he surges forward, making me gasp, “this I can give you until my last breath.”
It’s his admission and the uncertainty in his words that make my heart tumble. He pulls back slightly, his hands on my arse squeezing almost painfully. His eyes find mine once again, and I find everything he’s not saying staring right back at me. My chest constricts and I’m under no illusion that right there, in the hallway of his flat, is the moment I surrender to exactly how I feel about this bad boy nerd.
“Joe, I—” I start, feeling compelled to attempt to tell him how I feel, but my words are cut off by his lips.
“Just feel,” he whispers against me.
I do as I’m told.
My head falls back against the wall, and I focus on where we’re connected. Sparks shoot off around my body as he pulls almost all the way back out of me.
“Please, please,” I chant, needing to feel him filling me and stretching me once again.
My begging must snap his restraint, because he lets me slid
e down the wall slightly, allowing him to hit me even deeper when he thrusts.
He grunts when he slams deep inside me but doesn’t stop this time. He pounds into me over and over, and I can’t get enough.
My thighs tremble around him, my skin flushes, and the tightening of my centre tells me that I’m about to explode. My fingernails dig into his clothed shoulders as I prepare for what’s about to hit me when the atmosphere around me shifts.
What the…? Dragging my eyes open, I have to blink a few times before the two figures standing, gawping at us come into focus. Embarassment hits me, knowing we’ve been caught. I’m mortified to be found in such a position, especially after having to keep what’s been growing between us a secret for so long.
“Fuck. I thought you said it would be safe,” I whisper, my voice quivering as I try to hold it together while looking at their shocked faces. The guy casts his eyes aside, clearly giving us the privacy we deserve, whereas the woman is looking between the two of us like we’re the most fascinating thing she’s ever seen.
“I didn’t think...fuck. Some privacy?” Joe’s eyes don’t leave me. I can feel his stare burning into the side of my face as he talks. It’s does nothing to quash my embarassment.
“Yeah, shit. Sorry. Let’s go to your place,” the woman, who I can only assume is Joe’s flatmate, says, wrapping her hand around the man beside her’s forearm and slowly backing towards the door. At the last minute, Joe turns to look at her and some weird silent conversation passes between them.
Silence hangs heavy between us long after the door bangs shut.
“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t think…” he trails off.
“It’s okay,” I lie. In reality, it’s anything but fine. Being caught with my legs wrapped around one of my students was the reality check I really didn’t want.
“We shouldn’t be doing this, Joe. This is wrong.”
He doesn't want to, but when I tense my legs he releases his hold on me. Once I’m on my feet, I pull my dress back down and start pacing.
My life is already one big disaster, and here I am allowing one of my students—okay, an adult student, although I’m sure that won’t make much difference in the eyes of my boss—to fuck me against the wall. I need my job. It’s the only thing I’ve got.
“I need...I need...fuck.” Just the thought of telling him that this is over threatens to tear my heart in two. It’s only made worse when I look up and take in the devastated expression on his face.
“Don’t do this, Quinn. Please, don’t do this. Erica’s one of my best friends, she won’t have an issue.”
“It’s not about her, Joe. I’m sure she’s lovely and only wants the best for you but...this is my life. My career is my life, that’s all I have right now, and I can’t risk losing it for something…”
“For something what, Quinn? This isn’t some big game we’re playing here. I’m serious about this...about you. And I can say with total honesty that I’ve never said that to another person in my life. I won’t allow what we have here to ruin your career.”
“How? How can you stand there and promise me that? I’m breaking the one rule I always said I’d never touch. It’s goes against everything I’ve ever...fuck,” I shout, dropping my head into my hands. You’re just as bad as them, a little voice sings in my ear. “No, no, no.”
I lose myself in my panic. I’ve no idea how long I stand there chanting, trying to convince myself that I’m different, that this is different, but when I come back to myself I’m wrapped in Joe’s strong arms.
“It’s okay, babe.”
“I should leave.” My voice is weak and pathetic, and I hate it.
“I’m not allowing you out of here until I know a locksmith has sorted your door out. I need to know you’re safe when I’m not with you.” I want to tell him that I’m not safe full stop while my past is lurking, but I keep my lips shut.
“Stay with me tonight. Let me order us dinner and you can sleep here. Tomorrow I’ll get a locksmith and extra security added to your door, and then if you need some space,” he says through gritted teeth, the muscle in his jaw twitching ferociously, “you can take what you need and I’ll be able to sleep, knowing you’re safe.”
I want to argue, but what he’s proposing is too tempting. I should walk out of his front door and not look back but...I can’t.
“Okay,” I whisper, and his arms tighten around me.
* * *
Our night together is quiet at best. Joe allows me the space I need to try to process everything, but I fear no amount of time is going to help me figure this out. I want him. I want him like I’ve never wanted anything in my life, but is it enough to give up on the only thing I’ve got left? The only thing I’ve ever really had? He keeps saying that he’ll quit, but I can’t allow that. He deserves this second chance at his education. He deserves to follow his dreams. It’s just all so fucked up, and what I’m running from doesn’t even feature. When he shows his face again, and I know he will if he’s gone to the effort of finding me, then shit’s really going to hit the fan.
We don’t finish what we started earlier against the wall. Joe doesn’t even attempt it. Instead, when we fall into his bed, he just pulls me close and falls asleep with his arm locked around my waist and his cock snugly pressed against my arse.
I lie there all night, trying to make sense of everything, but by the time daylight starts to show through the gap in the curtains, I’m no closer to making any kind of decision.
There’s a heavy tension between us as we both get ready for work. Joe knows what’s coming, and I can’t help but think he’s trying to put off the inevitable, hoping that I’ll have forgotten. Sadly, that’s nowhere near the case.
“Can I drop you off?”
“Around the corner, yeah.”
I follow him down to his van, emotion clogging my throat, knowing that our time is passing me by too quickly, but I know I’m doing the right thing.
Neither of us says anything as Joe fights with the rush hour traffic to get me to college, and when we pull up at the curb around the back of the building, we both let out heavy sighs.
“When can I see you again?”
“You’ll be in class Thursday, right?”
“Let me quit. I’ll re-enroll somewhere else. Please, Quinn. It doesn't need to be like this.”
“Just give me a few days. This weekend has been...intense. I’ll see you Thursday, and we’ll talk after.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
I walk away with a heavy heart. I want the promise I made to be true, but really I’ve no idea. My head’s a mess, and as I walk away with his stare making my spine tingle, I fight the need to turn and run back into his arms.
The day drags. Jodi looks like she’s not slept or eaten all weekend, although I don’t spot any more bruises. I’m not stupid enough to believe that they’re not hiding below her clothes. I know she’s been in for a meeting, but she doesn’t say anything or give away that she clearly must know it was me who reported it.
It’s just after lunchtime when Eddie knocks on my classroom door and walks inside with something in his hand.
“Did you have a good weekend?” he asks curiously when he reaches my desk.
Thoughts of my weekend has tears burning the back of my throat. “Y-yeah, thank you. You?”
“Same old, same old. Here, these were just dropped off for you.” His eyebrow lifts as he hands me a set of keys.
“My flat was broken into. I’ve had all the locks redone.” Or Joe has. I try to ignore the feelings that threaten to bubble up, knowing that he’s sorted all of this for me today.
“Oh shit. Everything seemed normal when I popped around on Saturday afternoon. Was anything stolen?”
“Not that I could see, but I didn’t stay there long after I discovered it.” I ignore the fact that he was there, hoping he doesn’t ask where I was.
“Where did you go if you didn’t stay?”
&nb
sp; “Oh...uh...a friend’s.” I say it with a wince, because Eddie knows full well that he’s my only friend.
His face hardens. “You know I’m only at the end of the phone if you need anything.” There’s something different in his tone, and I fear he’s already more suspicious about what I’m up to than he should be.
“I do, thank you.”
Thankfully, one of my students puts their hand up to ask a question and our conversation comes to an end before he shows himself out. The last thing I need is Eddie poking his nose in any more and discovering what I’ve really been doing. He found me this job when I needed it the most; I’m sure he could take it away from me just as quickly. He likes to make out that he’s my friend, but a huge part of him isn’t all that different from those I left behind. His reputation is more important than a lot of other things I’d consider much more important. I can only imagine how he’d feel if I were to bring scandal down on his department after he grovelled to employ me.
I’m a nervous wreck as I make the short walk from the tube station to my building later that night. It’s dark and raining too heavily for the fact that I don’t have an umbrella or even a hood on my coat. Water is running down my face by the time I get to the still broken front door. I guess that wasn’t really for Joe to get involved with.
My heart’s in my throat as I climb the stairs.
It’ll be fine. I’ve got new locks. He can’t hurt me.
I’ve got my new keys clasped so tightly in my hand that the metal is cutting into my skin, but I don’t register the pain as my eyes dart around to see if anything is untoward.
I come to a stop in front of my door, relaxing a little when I see the two new locks. My hand trembles as I lift it to slide the key in and find out which key is for which.
I just get the key in the second lock and am about to push the door open when a squeak sounds out from behind me.
My body tenses and my spine straightens, but I don’t get a chance to turn.
“Good evening, Elizabeth. You wouldn’t believe how much I’ve missed my wife.”
Avoiding Temptation: Forbidden Series #6 Page 13
