by Sally John
By Thursday evening her equilibrium was, in a word, off.
As she poured red cake batter into the last of three round pans, Danny entered the kitchen from the courtyard door.
A reddish puddle formed on the countertop and she cursed softly.
“Oops.” He strode over and slid a finger through the spilled batter she clumsily spooned into the pan. He licked his finger. “Yes. Nana’s recipe, right?”
She didn’t bother to reply. Yes, it was Nana’s recipe. With both hands free, Indio had been spending more time cooking at the hacienda. She was a phenomenal hybrid of Rachael Ray, Paula Deen, Julia Child, and some unknown wise herbalist.
“Sorry, Sky.” He crossed his arms on the counter and leaned on it. “I’m here to help, not to pester.”
“Really? Then you might want to take a hike.”
“Your enthusiasm astounds me.”
She carried one of the cake pans to the wall oven, opened the door, and slid it inside.
“Right behind you.”
She sighed and gave Danny space to put in the other two pans. “Thanks.” She shut the door and set the timer. “I’m sure that’s all the help I need.”
“You haven’t left us.”
Brushing past him, she returned to the counter, picked up the dishcloth, and began cleaning the mess. Maybe if she ignored him, he would get lost.
Obviously she hadn’t left them. Too much unfinished business interfered with her plans, adding too much confusion.
There was no change in Jenna’s friend, Amber.
Claire expected her largest group of guests tomorrow. Even with Indio’s added help, they were scrambling.
Max, Ben, and Tuyen were preoccupied with their upcoming trip.
Lexi wasn’t around much either. After the hike with Nathan last week, she had spent most of her free time with him in the city. Since first meeting the two, Skylar had seen hints of forward strides in their romance.
Erik was just downright fun. But busy. His activity seemed to revolve around filming a documentary. Although no one knew what it was about, he made everyone swear not to mention it to Rosie.
And so Skylar needed to stay. For now. To see what happened with the Beaumonts. To dwell in that space where the echo of Indio’s welcome enveloped her like a fleece blanket.
She lived deeply in each moment, acutely aware of every sight, sound, smell, and texture. Her bedroom felt like a queen’s palace with luxurious towels and sheets and quilt, a full view of her kingdom right outside the door. Every time she entered the kitchen, she thought she must have said, “Open sesame” to have such a treasure at her disposal.
She tucked the moments away for future comfort. The weight they added to the constant expectancy that she was leaving nearly broke her.
“Skylar.”
She jumped at Danny’s voice. He was at her shoulder, taking the dishcloth from her. She realized she was standing completely still, unaware of his presence or the mess on the counter.
He rinsed the cloth in the sink and then wiped the countertop. “Nana thought you might leave after she got her cast off.”
“She told me.”
“Evidently she doesn’t want her kitchen back.” He dried his hands on a towel, inspecting his work. In profile his lashes were long. They curled upward.
She didn’t remember noticing them before.
He turned. Standing very close, he seemed taller than she’d imagined him.
“It’s after ten o’clock, Danny. Why are you here?”
“I know you like the kitchen to yourself late like this, after my folks are usually done for the night.”
She should walk away right now. Go to her room and not come out until the cake was done. He would most likely be gone by then.
But she didn’t want to walk away. Danny brought with him a peace that she realized had been missing all week.
He said, “I wanted to say some things in private.” He stood still, not saying anything.
In the silence and motionlessness, Skylar sensed words and movement. Something was happening, something intangible.
When at last he moved, she was ready to receive the soft kiss he gave her.
“Mm.” He straightened, a tiny smile on his face, and whispered, “That was why I drove forty-five minutes up here tonight.”
Smart retorts about if it was worth the gas money fizzled long before they reached her vocal cords. A smile kept slipping out of place.
Danny pointed a thumb over his shoulder. “I guess I’ll go take a hike now.”
She nodded.
He nodded and backed away. “Uh, take care.”
Again she nodded.
He turned and walked out the door.
Several deep breaths later she heaved an enormous sigh.
That, that, was why she hadn’t yet left the Hacienda Hideaway.
Forty-one
Jenna gazed out the window of the fifties-themed diner and saw, not twenty feet away, a man standing at the very end of the Oceanside pier. A fishing pole was propped against the rail beside him. He resembled a dried fig wearing a ball cap. One gnarled hand curled around a knife, the other around a hunk of fleshy bait. As she watched, he skewered a piece of it onto the pole’s hook.
Jenna looked down at her shrimp salad and her stomach turned.
A cute young woman seated across the table clanked her spoon against a water glass. “I’d like to make a toast.” She held up the glass and smiled. “To Jenna.”
As Jenna watched, the seven other cute young women at the rectangular table raised their glasses. “To Jenna!”
“I didn’t do anything,” she protested.
Beside her Miranda smiled. She had sun-kissed light-brown hair and dimples that showed whether she smiled or not. “But you will do something, right? You promised to buy us all lunch.”
Jenna laughed with them. True, lunch was on her.
She wished she could do so much more. Buy them groceries. Take them shopping. Send them to a resort, day care included. Her new sense of semper fi had unleashed a host of maternal emotions toward the younger wives.
The women knew each other. Most of them lived on the base at Camp Pendleton. Miranda at twenty-five was the oldest, but she, too, like the others, looked to be eighteen. Their little kids—a whole slew between them under the age of three—played together.
Their husbands were deployed with Kevin, all members of his squad. As their sergeant, he was their leader. Which meant he was concerned about their wives. Which meant he figured his wife should hang out with them and be an influence on the younger women.
In his dreams.
Jenna had met them before the guys left. She had names and phone numbers. She had even spoken on occasion with Miranda or one of the others, most often to turn down an invitation to a potluck. No, Jenna did not have the slightest interest in spending time with Marine wives.
Until now.
Jenna’s cell phone rang. She pulled it from her bag and checked the ID. Amber’s husband’s name and number showed. She had programmed it in days before.
“It’s Joey,” she announced.
A silent glance went around the group, then a shared nod in her direction. She had told them all about the bombing and about a Navy SEAL whose wife lay in the hospital. It didn’t matter that they’d never met or even heard of Joey and Amber Ames. They connected the instant they learned the story. Looking at their faces now was like looking at one big heart that beat visibly with compassion.
Jenna left the table, answering the phone as she strode to the exit. Although they were all eager to hear news about Amber, she wanted to receive it in private.
Not counting the dried fig of a fisherman.
She went outside, moving toward the rail, not far from him. “Joey?”
“She’s awake.”
Jenna yelped. “And?”
“And she’s fine. She’s fine. Just fine.”
Jenna heard the tears in Joey’s voice and imagined the guy she had met at the h
ospital. It took some effort to match this soft side to his bricklike, compact build. He reminded her of the hero action figures her brothers played with as kids, complete with colorless slits for eyes. If Amber didn’t adore her husband, Jenna could have easily avoided him.
But he cried. The ocean blurred before her now. She looked down at the wooden rail, gave up finding a spot clear of bird and fish droppings, and put her elbows on it. “Oh.” The word came out as one long sigh.
Joey chuckled. “Yeah. There’s not much else to say.”
“My grandmother would say, ‘God is good.’”
“I think Amber would too.”
“She hasn’t yet?”
“I guess she has, in her own way.”
“When can I see her?”
“She’s pretty weak, but you know her. She’ll be bouncing around in no time. The doctor wants to keep her here a couple more days anyway, with only me and her parents allowed to visit, but you can come tomorrow afternoon. That one nurse and Amber think you’re family.”
“I talked to my mom about you two staying up at the Hideaway. There’s a room for you anytime during the weekdays.”
It had been Jenna’s idea that Amber and Joey spend a few days up in the hills, pampered by her mom and grandmother, feasting on Skylar’s cooking. Her mom loved the plan.
He said, “My in-laws will stay until the end of next week. Maybe the week after?”
“Whatever works. How long . . .” Her voice trailed off. She didn’t want to know the answer yet.
Joey supplied it anyway. “A month. Now that she’s awake, they’ll give me a month here.”
A month. What she wouldn’t do to have Kevin beside her for a month! A week, even. The good-bye agony would be worth it.
Joey said, “I need to ask a favor. Would you mind letting your principal know what’s going on?”
Call Cade? “Of course I wouldn’t mind. Let me take care of school-related issues for you. She’ll want to know who her sub is.”
“Thanks, Jenna. Amber always says you’re the greatest.”
She looked down at her forearm suspended fifty feet above the ocean. Her sleeve inched up, revealing some of the stitches. They would come out next week, but the mark would still be visible.
She thought about the night at the hospital.
You’re the greatest.
Yeah, right. Amber might think Cade was hot, but she sure wouldn’t be happy about her friend turning the fantasy into real life.
After talking with Joey, Jenna debated whether to share his good news first with the women inside the diner or Cade.
That decision took about ten seconds.
As she hit the speed dial number for the high school, the old fisherman moved closer, smiling and nodding. Startled, she canceled the call.
The man smoothed a towel across the top of the rail, pointed first at his elbows and then at the cloth.
She returned his smile. The towel appeared as grimy as the rail, but at least it would prevent snagging her blouse. She stepped over and rested her elbows on it. “Thank you.”
His kindness touched her. The kindness of her new acquaintances—Amber, Joey, Beth Russell, the women inside—touched her. It was Beth’s words about camaraderie with other wives and Amber’s belief about just doing what was expected as a military wife that kept Jenna going. Those things would keep her treading water. No matter how fast her feet spun, though, her head would not remain above water except for the kindness that Cade offered. It gave hope like a gulp of air to a drowning person.
She needed them all. Was that God at work? Providing others to ease her journey? The stranger on the pier, Amber and Joey, the women who shared her same day-to-day fears, and Cade who centered her. Each and every one a gift.
It was Friday, a school day. Cade was busy, most likely not even in his office. She should leave a message with his secretary.
She glanced at her arm again.
And then she dialed his cell phone number from memory.
He answered immediately. “Jenna.”
At the sound of his calm voice, she closed her eyes. “Hey. Guess what. Joey Ames just called. Amber woke up and she’s fine!”
He laughed. “That’s great news.”
They chatted. She told him everything Joey had told her.
She told him where she was, what she was doing.
Then she told him about her favorite Italian restaurant where she planned to eat dinner that evening by herself at seven o’clock in celebration of Amber’s recovery.
And then she told him good-bye.
Jenna smiled at Cade, wondering if it was the candlelight or pasta carbs that had softened the ice in his eyes.
“I’m ready to come back on Monday,” she said.
“Don’t hesitate to change your mind. Sarah’s on standby.”
“Okay, but I’m fine.”
He gave her a concerned look.
“I am! Now that Amber’s okay, I’m okay.”
“Besides that, you’re a control freak when it comes to lit lessons.”
She laughed.
He grinned.
It was easy to laugh with him, to let go. She was so glad he had shown up at the restaurant.
He had come in after she was seated, Mr. Ice Man’s persona evident on his face and in the set of his shoulders. It took awhile for him to relax. No matter. She basked in the reality of him, his masculinity, his kindness in giving her his free time, his concern about her well-being in the classroom.
“Jenna, I need to say something.”
“The answer is no. This chocolate gelato is all mine. You could have ordered your own.” She put a spoonful in her mouth.
He shook his head, his expression an unfamiliar one. It seemed almost vulnerable. “Seriously. It’s why I came tonight.”
“Okay.”
“Do you know how enchanting you are?”
She set down her spoon.
“I consider myself a fairly well-disciplined guy. The other night, emotions dismantled that belief. However, I know that under normal circumstances when two of my best teachers aren’t hurt in a domestic terrorist attack, I’m still a well-disciplined guy. But I have to admit, I am fast approaching a line here.” He leaned forward. “What exactly do you want from me?”
Jenna swallowed with difficulty. The taste of chocolate was thick on her tongue, the ice cream cold in her throat.
She wanted Cade Edmunds to take Kevin’s place, pure and simple. That was ridiculous, but that was exactly what she—total princess that she was—wanted. Simply put, life was easier when Kevin was around.
She masked her response by taking a stab at one of the many rumors surrounding the mysterious Cade Edmunds. “Maybe you could tell me about your girlfriend.”
Cade’s jaw muscles worked as if he held in a reply.
She realized he would never say it until she spoke to his question. “After lunch today, I walked home with Miranda—the one I told you about.”
He gave a slight nod.
“She lives in town, not far from the pier. Two doors from her house she spotted a black car parked at the curb. It practically screamed ‘military.’ She sat down, right then and there, on the sidewalk. She could hardly breathe.” Jenna’s voice caught at the memory.
“Miranda thought they’d come to tell her that her husband had been killed.”
Jenna nodded. “I sat down with her, on the concrete. We both cried and cried, even though we could see the car was empty and we knew that they certainly wouldn’t be waiting inside with her babysitter and kids.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I just . . . I just . . .” She wiped beneath her eyes. “Things don’t hurt so much when I’m with you. Life isn’t scary. I’m sorry. Today I couldn’t get a handle on it. Amber’s development is so good but so draining. I’m sorry. That’s just the way it is. Just the way I am.”
Cade reached across the table and took hold of her hand. “I can’t take his place.”
“I k
now,” she whispered and looked down. He rubbed his thumb gently across the back of her hand. She focused on it until, after a time the sharp edges of fear and pain dulled.
Cade muttered something, his words indecipherable.
She looked up at him, questioning.
He shook his head. He was not going to repeat it.
Jenna thought she heard, I do not understand how he left you.
Maybe she heard wrong.
Forty-two
Five weeks passed after the anniversary of the fire. Through September and into late October, Claire felt life settle into a new routine, a pleasant one full of running a retreat center. Guests multiplied, eager to enjoy the prerainy season. Skylar grew more and more indispensable. Danny’s visits increased, but his bugging of Skylar lessened.
The only abnormal activity revolved around helping Max pack for a trip to Vietnam. Now the day of departure had arrived.
Claire melted into Max’s embrace. His chest muffled her voice. “I’m trying not to have second thoughts.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, me too.”
“It’s already tomorrow in Vietnam. I can’t fathom that you’ll be in another day . . .” She stopped speaking the lines they’d already said over and over too many times. Still though, the anxious thoughts circled in her mind.
How could she handle a separation of this magnitude? Since before Thanksgiving almost a year ago they hadn’t spent a night apart. In the past, Max had traveled fairly often on business but never overseas. But it wasn’t only the physical aspect that disturbed her. Just the simple anticipation of his absence triggered old resentments of how often he was gone, if only at the office.
She groaned. Already the battle had frazzled her nerves.
They stood in silence for a long moment, locked in each other’s arms, blotting out the surrounding hubbub.
Most of the family had gathered in the parking area to send off the travelers. Erik and Rosie wore chauffeur hats, white shirts, black ties, and slacks. They’d borrowed a friend’s limo and were driving Ben, Tuyen, and Max to the airport in style. Lexi and Skylar had baked cookies and created elaborate snacks that they now tucked into the carry-on bags.
Not everyone was there. Danny hadn’t driven up for the send-off but planned to see them at the airport. Jenna didn’t want to miss any more school activities and had said her good-byes the previous evening.
