by Brandon Witt
Zachary turned from the mirror and left the dressing room. He glanced over at the bar; Vahin was occupied. Instead of going out the front door, where Pat would insist on calling him a ride, Zachary moved quickly and invisibly through the dining room and out to the back patio and then away from Mary’s.
The walk between the restaurant and the old Capitol Hill Victorian he’d grown up in took less than half an hour. Within a few blocks, Zachary knew he’d made the right decision. He’d just needed to get out, get his blood moving again. The night was perfect, the sounds of the city and the June chirping insects in the trees acting like a blanket over his nerves.
Though the pain of the loss of his family was still there—always there—it moved away from crisis mode and back to the steady but manageable ache. As did his loneliness. He’d soon be home, with his calico beside him, eating cereal and watching RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars. Maybe The Little Mermaid or The Last Unicorn, actually. The night called for childhood comfort. Not a perfect evening, but safe and soothingly familiar.
He was two blocks west of Cheesman Park, almost to his home after turning at the gay coffee shop on the corner of Downing and 9th, when Zachary passed three men walking the opposite direction. Zachary had to move to the right and scraped his elbow on a brick wall to avoid being run over. He glanced over at them, annoyed, and caught one of their gazes in the bright moonlight. Zachary noticed the man give a double take, and he remembered he hadn’t taken off his makeup. He quickly lowered his head and looked back down at the sidewalk, then sped up his pace.
Behind him, Zachary heard the men talking, and then a raised voice called out to him, “Hey!”
Zachary froze instantly, fear cutting through him.
It was only a second before he got his feet to work once more, increasing his speed, not enough to be overly noticeable if the man hadn’t yelled at him, but enough that he had to clutch his makeup bags so they wouldn’t jingle together.
Please don’t be yelling at me. Please. Just keep going. You didn’t see me. I’m not here. I’m not here. I’m not here. Just let me get home. I’m almost home.
His last thought was more of a prayer than anything directed at the men. Just let me get home. Please.
“Hey, faggot! I’m talking to you!”
“No.” Zachary’s whimper was so soft he wouldn’t have been able to tell if it had been an actual sound or simply another wish-filled prayer. But there were no thoughts. Just fear and a spike of adrenaline only possible in those who’d learned to always be on guard. Always be ready to flee.
He ran.
Shouts came from behind him.
He ran quicker.
The echo of pounding footfalls sounded.
Impossibly he ran quicker still. The soft lights from nearby houses blurring. His makeup bags falling away.
Despite his speed, the yells and the thundering against the sidewalk closed in on him.
Less than a block from his house, Zachary managed to stuff his hand in his pocket as he ran, his fingers curling around the keys but causing him to slow.
The impact came from behind, launching Zachary forward, his feet stumbling over each other. Then he was falling. He managed to bring the crook of his free arm over his face less than a heartbeat before he smashed against the sidewalk.
He cried out in pain and shock. He pulled the keys out of his pocket, but they flew away from him.
Then Zachary cried out in fear.
The first kick landed on his hip, giving him only enough time to lock both arms over his face and to curl into a ball.
Not the face! Not the face! Ariel’s screams of warning in his mind soon became screams of pain as another kick landed on Zachary’s back.
Zachary tightened his tucked-in position and gripped his fingers in his hair so his arms couldn’t be pulled away from his face.
More kicks, maybe some punches as well, but Zachary couldn’t tell. Pain spiked through his legs, back, arms, and head. Nothing but the yells of the men and sound of his cries.
Zachary lost control of his fetal position when a kick landed on his spine, and then there were kicks to his stomach and groin.
Blackness began to envelop him when different yells joined in.
Several seconds passed without any contact before Zachary realized he wasn’t being kicked anymore.
Then hands were on him, and he flinched again, keeping his head covered and managing to curl up once more.
It took several moments before he understood the voices weren’t screaming curses at him.
“Somebody call an ambulance.”
“The owner of the coffee shop already called.”
“Is he going to live?”
Still keeping his head sheltered, Zachary began to sob. Each outburst caused pain to tear through his body, which only made him sob more.
CHAPTER TWO
Teegan Chau
“Hello?” Kelly was barely audible on the other end of the phone. “Are you okay?”
Teegan closed his eyes, refusing to let any tears fall despite the burn. “Yeah.”
The sound of rustling fabric and murmuring answered him. Probably Jeff moving in the bed and wondering who the hell would call at this time of night. Then Kelly was back. “Teegan, it’s almost three in the morning.”
“I know. I—” His throat constricted, cutting off his words.
“Hold on.” There was more whispering. A few more seconds passed. “Okay, I left the bedroom so I can talk.” Kelly yawned. “Teegan, what’s wrong?”
“Can you check on Megan?”
“What?” Panic filled her voice, making her sound alert. “Why?”
He could hear her moving and imagined her rushing down the hall toward their daughter’s room. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m sure she’s safe. I just need to know.”
She didn’t reply, but the door handle clicked, and her breathing increased. She let out a sigh, and he heard the relief before she spoke. “She’s fine.”
He sagged against the lounge wall. “Thank God.”
Kelly didn’t respond. The door clicked again, and then she was back, volume normal this time. “What the hell, Teegan? Why were you worried about Megan?”
Why had he been worried about her? She was safe. He knew she was safe. “I don’t know. I needed to… I needed to hear you say it. I almost drove over to check.”
Another exhale. As she spoke, her words shifted from seemingly forced patience to actual concern. “You scared me to death. I take it you got called in? Rough patient? A kid?”
“No.” Though the assumption made sense. That would’ve explained his sudden fear for Megan. “There was another gay bashing. It had been long enough since the last one, I thought, maybe….”
“Oh, sweetie.” Kelly sighed, and any lingering irritation left her voice. “Will he live? Or she?”
“Yeah. He’ll live.” Teegan gave himself a shake, straightened up off the floor, and began to pace. “He’ll be fine, actually. Doesn’t look like anything permanent, at least not much. He’s so young.”
“Really? A kid? Who would do that?”
“No. Sorry. Not a kid. Not like Megan. Just young. Young and thin and an easy target.” He cleared his throat and wiped his eyes. “I’m sorry to bother you, Kelly. I had an urge, this… I don’t know. I needed to know she was safe.”
“Megan is safe. And so are you.” Her voice brightened suddenly. “Here. We need something happy. Water World opened a couple of weeks ago. We’re planning on going this Sunday. Jeff mentioned you might want to join. It would be good for you. You’re always working.”
Teegan had to force himself not to groan. His ex’s new husband was nice enough, and he was great with Megan, but Jeff didn’t seem able to talk with Teegan about anything other than sports. To be fair, he’d asked a couple of questions about chopstick usage and what animal he was on the Chinese zodiac since he’d been born in 1977, but both questions had earned him a slap on the arm from Kelly, so he’d reverted to sports.
> “Thanks for the invite, Kel. I’m working Sunday too.” Lie.
“I thought you were only on call through Saturday.”
“I picked up a shift.” More lies.
“See what I mean?”
“Yeah, I know.” He took another deep breath, and then a thought hit him. “Are you trying to set me up again?”
Kelly’s hesitation told him all he needed to know.
“So Water World wasn’t Jeff’s idea.”
“Oh, come on. Charles is hot, and you’d both get to see each other in swimsuits. You know, see the cow before you buy it.”
He couldn’t help but laugh. No wonder he loved Kelly so much. “Maybe you’re unaware, but most ex-wives don’t constantly try to set their ex-husbands up on dates. Or make references to cows and milk, for that matter.”
“I didn’t say anything about milk. That would’ve been gross. And I’m not like most ex-wives.” Though her tone had grown bright, she yawned again. “Sorry.”
“No, don’t be sorry. I woke you up. Go back to sleep. Thanks for checking on Megan.”
She hesitated, and he expected her to push for Water World again. She didn’t. “You sure you’re going to be okay?”
“Yeah. I am. Thanks.”
“Okay. Let me know if you change your mind about Water World. Hot men… swimsuits….”
And there it was. “I’m working, Kel.”
“Okay.” Her tone said she knew he was lying. “I’m sure Megan will call you when she gets out of school tomorrow.”
“Good. I’ll look forward to that.”
“Take care of that poor boy, Teegan. I’m sorry it happened again.” Even as she spoke, he could hear her growing more tired. “Love you.”
“I love you too.”
Teegan forced himself to check on a couple of other patients and kill some time talking to the nurses. The last thing he wanted was to go into the kid’s room—Zachary’s room—and get choked up. He needed to quit thinking of Zachary Cooper as a kid. He was only four years younger than Teegan, but he looked so small. So helpless. So broken.
Gay bashing was always going to be a thing. Violence against others would be a constant. It didn’t matter if it was due to sexuality, race, religion, or because you wore the wrong brand of tennis shoes in the wrong neighborhood. But the increase of gay bashing since the passage of marriage equality was getting to Teegan. It wasn’t rampant, only one every several months, but noticeable, nonetheless. And it mostly seemed to happen to the ones like Zachary. The smaller, more effeminate ones. The ones who both stood out and were seen as easy targets.
It made him angry. Well, that was an understatement. But it also made him feel guilty. He could pass as straight. Hell, he had passed as straight for twenty-eight years. And he had the ex-wife and daughter to prove it. And the times he didn’t pass, his lean, muscled body protected him from those looking for an easy outlet for their hate.
Teegan paused outside Zachary’s door, making sure he had his emotions under control. Chances were high Zachary would be asleep, but Teegan wanted to check anyway. Just to stand over his bed for a few moments, to guard him while he slept. The guy’s guardian angel was slacking, so someone needed to do it.
He opened the door and padded silently over the linoleum, past the bathroom and the empty bed, which he was sure wouldn’t stay empty much longer, and then over to Zachary. The only illumination in the room came from the hallway, the blinking lights of the machines, and the moon glowing through the sheer curtains. It was dim but bright enough to make out Zachary’s delicate features.
At first Teegan thought he was asleep, but then Zachary’s eyes fluttered open, and he flinched, letting out a soft cry of pain.
“Sorry.” Teegan held out a hand. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I wanted to check and see how you’re doing. I’m Dr. Chau. Do you remember me? I saw you right before surgery.”
Zachary’s eyes narrowed, then opened wider after a few moments. He started to nod, then grimaced.
“You don’t need to move. You’re going to be sore for a bit.” Teegan walked closer to the bed. He started to pull a chair over, then realized Zachary would have to turn his head to look over at him, so he stayed standing. “Do you go by Zachary or Zach? And you don’t have to answer if it’s too hard to speak.”
His lips moved tentatively before he actually spoke. “Zachary.” His voice was raspy.
Teegan reached for the water on the bedside table and lifted the straw to Zachary’s lips. “Here. Drink this if you can. Only small sips.”
He did, with only minimal wincing. “Thank you.”
Teegan’s eyes burned again at the words. He took a second before he spoke again. “I won’t keep you. You need your sleep. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m okay.”
Teegan started to turn away, but then Zachary spoke up again. His voice sounded more alert. “Wait. You said surgery?”
“Yes. You don’t remember?” Fear flitted through him. Maybe the brain injury was worse than he’d estimated, though it was too soon to know.
Zachary’s brows knitted. “Kinda. It’s all foggy.” The confusion left his expression, replaced instantly by fear. “What surgery did I have? I hurt all over. What’s wrong?”
Teegan placed his hand on Zachary’s left shoulder, where he knew there were no injuries. “You’re going to be okay. Nothing huge. Why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll be here when you wake up, and we can go over what injuries you have in the morning. Maybe when your family shows up.”
“I don’t have family. Well, except for Mary’s….” His gaze hardened suddenly. “No. Please tell me now. I’m awake, and I think I’m clear enough that I’ll remember.”
The strength in Zachary’s eyes and voice surprised Teegan. He was tougher than he looked, despite his small stature, hospital gown, and smeared mascara.
“You sure?”
“Yes.” There was no doubt in Zachary’s tone.
Teegan sighed. “Okay. It’s a pretty long list, but it looks like there’s no lasting damage, so it’s all basically good news.” He waited for Zachary to say something, but he didn’t. “You have three broken ribs. Two on the right side and one of your left. There’re several bruised and injured ones as well, but nothing was punctured, so we were fortunate in that sense. The spinous processes of your T12 and L1 have hairline fractures but there doesn’t seem to be any further damage to your spine, so again, we’re lucky there. Your right shoulder was dislocated and your ulna in your right arm”—he gestured to his own forearm—“is broken near the wrist. You have a slight brain contusion. Uhm, bruising and swelling, which makes sense given what you went through. I want to keep you for observation for at least another day, but I think we lucked out in that area as well, so you should be okay. Basically you have a lot of healing to do that will take a couple of months, maybe more. A lot of it will be pretty painful, honestly, but it seems as if nothing lasting has happened.”
“Wow. That’s a lot.” As Teegan spoke, Zachary’s eyes had continued to widen at the ever-growing list of injuries. He seemed as if he were now reciting the list in his mind. Zachary’s next words surprised him. “How’s my face?”
Teegan thought he must have heard wrong. “Excuse me?”
“How’s my face? Is it injured?”
“No. Well, you have a scrape on your chin that was probably from the impact with the sidewalk, I imagine, but your face is in good shape. Most of the time, with… situations like this, there’s broken noses or jawbones, missing teeth. I’m guessing you protected your face with your arms, which is probably how your ulna was broken.”
“May I see it?”
Teegan hesitated again. “Your face?”
Zachary started to nod but caught himself. “Yes, please.”
Again with the please and thank you. Like a polite child asking for a favor instead of a man who should be raging in anger. Teegan glanced around the hospital room. There would be a mirror in the bathroo
m, but he didn’t want to move Zachary. He almost rolled his eyes when the obvious solution hit him. “I’ll see if there’s a hand mirror at the nurse’s station. I’ll be right back.” He headed toward the door and then turned back around. “Will you be okay?”
Zachary smiled weakly. “Yes. But I’ll be better once I’m sure my face really is okay.”
There wasn’t a mirror at the nurse’s station, but one of them had a small compact in their purse. Teegan loosened the bandage as gently as he could and held the mirror in front of Zachary’s face.
Zachary gasped and raised his uninjured left arm and started to touch his chin, but paused with his fingers floating above the wound. “Will it scar?”
“No. I don’t think so. It’s superficial. If you apply vitamin E, I bet it won’t be noticeable in a few weeks.” Teegan marveled at the relief that washed over Zachary’s features. He seemed more concerned about the chin wound than the brain contusion. It wasn’t that he was unattractive. He wasn’t. His face was more nondescript than anything, though he did have symmetrical pleasantness about him. Typically the patients who were the most concerned about such small injuries were the ones who could pass for models or possibly found the majority of self-worth in their appearance. He hadn’t pegged Zachary as that type.
Zachary continued to inspect his reflection. “Oh, no. I look horrible.”
“I really think you’ll heal without any scarring.”
“No, not that.” Zachary moved his hand up to his mascara-smeared cheeks. “My makeup is all over the place. You must think I’m….”
As the words trailed off, Teegan heard behind Zachary’s tone some of the fragility that he’d expected at the beginning. Fragility that didn’t seem completely based in aesthetics, even if that was Zachary’s concern. Like he feared Teegan would see him as weak or… as whatever the ones who harmed him had seen in him. A burst of protectiveness surged through Teegan again. “Hold on. I’ll be right back.”
