by Brandon Witt
Like he ever did any heavy lifting. Though sometimes a person would come in with a box of used books they wanted to sell. Of course, even that hadn’t happened in months. And it sounded like he probably wouldn’t be able to perform at Mary’s for a bit either.
He gasped and looked up at Pat and Daniel. “Mrs. Madrigal. I totally forgot.” Guilt crashed over him. “Oh, no. My poor baby. She needs food and probably is scared to death with me not being there. I didn’t even—”
“I went by this morning on my way here,” Daniel cut him off. “Mrs. Madrigal is fed and petted. And I know you love her, but she’s a cat. She’d only miss you if you’d died and not had foresight to do it where she could then eat your face.”
“Oh, good God, Daniel. You and cats.” Pat smacked him again, then turned back to Zachary. “And Steven left Mary’s in Vahin’s hands for the day. He’s taking care of the bookshop in case you have any customers.”
Pat’s words made his throat constrict.
Dr. Chau looked back and forth among the three of them, then focused on Zachary. “You’re very lucky to have so many people who love you so much.”
Zachary just nodded.
“And you own a bookshop?”
He nodded once more and was able to speak this time. “Yeah, it was my parents’.”
Pat spoke up again. “Oh, you’d love it, Dr. Chau. The Book Nook is charming. You should come by.”
“Maybe I’ll do that.” Dr. Chau smiled at Pat, then refocused on Zachary. “I’ll come check on you before I leave in an hour. Dr. Clemens will take my place, and if he agrees with my assessment, you’ll be sleeping in your own bed tonight.”
CHAPTER FOUR
Teegan Chau
Normally when Teegan got in his car after a multishift stint, he only had one thought on his mind—bed. He’d pull out of the parking garage, drive home with eyelids drooping, and manage to park, get inside, brush his teeth, and strip off his clothes before he was dead to the world. It didn’t matter if he got a few hours of sleep in the break room; it couldn’t really be considered restful or rejuvenating. Teegan had actually considered ubering to and from work, just so he wouldn’t be driving while nearly falling asleep. However, despite letting out a yawn that caused his jaw to pop, instead of heading instantly home, he got in his car and opened up the maps app.
He typed in the Book Nook.
Ten minutes away. And it looked like it was probably close to twenty minutes from his house. So probably a good hour and a half before he’d finally be in bed.
He should go home.
And then lie in bed and wish he’d gone to the bookshop.
Letting out a growl, he hit Go, and Siri began to recite the directions through his car speakers as he backed up and headed out of the garage.
Teegan had checked on Zachary once more, like he’d said he would. He’d nearly visited him more than that but refused to allow such an irrational indulgence. Zachary had been asleep, peacefully, it seemed.
Part of Teegan wanted to keep him there another night for observations. And not because he was worried about Zachary’s health. It was ridiculous. He couldn’t figure out what it was about the man that called to him. There was a prettiness about him, kind of, though a person could pass him on the street and not even notice. Maybe Teegan just felt protective over him. Though it was more than that. He was protective of all his patients. This was… different. He’d stood over the bed for longer than was normal as Zachary lay sleeping, and tried to put his finger on it, but he couldn’t. Teegan was simply drawn to him.
Zachary was intriguing. He truly did seem breakable, but there had to be more to him if he did drag. There was no amount of money that could make Teegan put on a dress in public. Just the thought caused his anxiety to spike. Completely terrifying. But obviously not for Zachary. There had to be a core of strength within the man, guts of iron. The mix of vulnerability and daring was more than alluring. It was such a contradiction of qualities, especially to be on blatant display. Maybe Teegan was reading into things, but he couldn’t help but want to see for himself.
And now, he was drawn to the bookstore. Utterly insane. If nothing else, he could go there another time. Any other time. But Teegan wanted to see it now, while he knew Zachary wouldn’t be there. Though even that argument didn’t make sense either.
Pondering the situation during the ten-minute drive didn’t provide any insight, but it did keep him awake.
At first, even after Siri announced his arrival, Teegan didn’t see the Book Nook. Just a row of the typically charming Capitol Hill Victorians. Then the small wooden sign in the front yard caught his eye. The house, for that’s what it was, was somewhat smaller than its neighbors, but still beautiful. It looked like it belonged to someone older than Zachary Cooper. Not too many twentysomethings could afford a home in Capitol Hill. Hell, he was thirty-one and a doctor and he couldn’t afford Cap Hill. Of course, the combination of student loans and child support might have something to do with that.
He got out of his car and walked up the narrow brick pathway to the front door. It looked like something out of a storybook—the pitched roof with wooden shingles, the round stained-glass window on the small alcove at the peak, the gingerbread lattice on the porch. Maybe it was because he was so tired, but the thought of walking in and curling up in bed in such a place sounded like the definition of heaven.
Lifting his hand, he started to knock at the door, then remembered he was at a business. Feeling like he was breaking into his patient’s home, Teegan lowered his hand and turned the old brass knob, then walked inside to the tinkling of bells overhead.
The interior did nothing to alleviate the sense he was in someone’s house. The house of Mother Goose, it seemed. Everything was still completely storybook. From the small rooms with lavender, white, and sea-foam green wallpaper, to the puffy couches floating on wooden spindle legs, to the spicy smells of autumn that wafted over him. They blended in so perfectly that for a split second, Teegan didn’t see the bookshelves. Once he did, he couldn’t believe he’d missed them. They were everywhere, the wood gleaming like it had recently been polished. He glanced around again and peered into the next room. Various styles of bookcases filled every wall. There had to be hundreds upon hundreds of books in the tiny space, and yet somehow it still managed to feel cozy instead of cluttered.
Something brushed across the back of his leg, and Teegan lurched forward. The fattest calico he’d ever seen glared at him with an arched back. “Oh, sorry, buddy.” Teegan knelt down and held out his hand like he did with a dog. Were you supposed to do that to cats? For a second he thought it was going to swipe at him, but then the cat lowered its back, dipped its head, and ducked under Teegan’s hand, using his fingers to scratch exactly where it needed.
Teegan didn’t have an issue with cats. He’d simply always been more of a dog person. Of course, his dogs stayed with his ex-wife in the divorce, with the house and the good car. Maybe he should get another dog. Something small that would be fine in an apartment. Right, because a dog would adore his long work hours. He cocked his head at the calico, who was arching her rump against his fingers. Maybe a cat….
“Oh, sorry, man. Didn’t hear you come in.”
Teegan started at the voice and flinched backward. The cat hissed and ran away.
“Sorry about that. Mrs. Madrigal can be a bitch.”
Teegan looked over his shoulder and found the voice’s source walking down the stairs. He seemed so out of place that Teegan nearly laughed. With his beard and size, he should be cutting down trees somewhere instead of filling up the tiny grandma-style house.
The guy kept talking as he reached the bottom of the staircase. “I was just using the rest….” His words trailed off, and his cheeks blushed over his beard. “How can I help you?”
“I, uhm….” Teegan flailed for a moment and used standing up to serve as a distraction. How did you admit you were there to spy on your patient? He recovered quickly. “Oh, I’m trying to
find your children’s book section. Something for my daughter.”
Panic flickered across the man’s face. “Okay. I know there is one of those around here. Let me look around real quick.”
“It’s okay. I can try—”
The lumberjack waved him off. “No, I’ll find it. I’m not normally here, so it might take me a minute.” He turned and disappeared into yet another room. After a few seconds, he called back to Teegan. “Found it! I thought it was back here.”
Teegan followed where the man had disappeared. Sure enough, the back fourth of the room had been clearly sectioned off for kids. There was an electric fireplace flickering in the corner and overstuffed corduroy beanbags on a braided rug.
The man beamed at Teegan like he’d accomplished the impossible.
“Thanks. This is perfect.”
“I’d ask if there was a particular book you wanted, but I’m afraid I’d do more harm than good. I own a restaurant a few blocks away. I’m just watching the store for a friend.” His eyes narrowed as he inspected Teegan, his gaze traveling down his body and then back up. “You’re in scrubs. Are you a nurse or something?”
For some inexplicable reason, Teegan almost lied. “Ah, no. I’m a doctor. Actually I’m your friend’s doctor. This is Zachary Cooper’s store, right?”
“Oh! No shit!” He reached out a strong hand, and Teegan took it. “I’m Steven. Thanks so much for taking care of Zachary. He’s crazy important to us. My sister said he got one of the best doctors at the hospital. That must be you.”
Teegan tilted his head questioningly. “Your sister?”
Steven nodded. “Yep. She’s a nurse there.”
“Oh! You must mean Pat.”
“Yep. That’s her.”
Why had Pat not shared that she had a hot brother? “She’s wonderful. Actually she’s the one who told me I should check out the store.”
“Cool.” Steven looked at a loss for words suddenly. “Well, I guess I’ll leave you to it. I’ll be up front if you need me. And thanks again for taking care of Zachary.” He smiled, then left the room.
Teegan stared at all the children’s books. The last thing he wanted was to use his brain for anything other than sleep. Crawling on top of one of the beanbags by the fire, fake or not, sounded like perfection. This room, like the others he’d seen, was completely charming and felt safe, somehow. He gave in to the impulse, partially, and pulled one of the beanbags over to a bookshelf and plopped down. Then he grabbed a few books from the shelves and rifled through them.
He didn’t really glance at the pictures or take much notice of what the books were about. Again, Zachary filled his mind. He was more intrigued than ever. A drag queen who owned a bookshop that looked like it belonged to a grandmother at the turn of the century, the previous century, was more worried about a possible scar on his chin than a broken arm, and seemed to have an army of people at his beck and call.
If Teegan got sick, Kelly would bring him food and make sure he was okay. His parents would too, though not like they used to. His daughter would draw him a card and bring him a stuffed animal. But that was it. There appeared to be no shortage of people who loved Zachary Cooper. Part of Teegan was envious. What a life that must be. To know you’re so completely and utterly accepted. That when tragedy strikes, you’re not alone. He hoped Zachary realized how fortunate he was.
After a while Steven popped his head back through the doorway at the far end of the room. “You still doing okay back here? Need anything?”
Teegan sat up straighter. “Oh, no. I’m good. Sorry, must have dozed off. It was a long shift. I should head home.”
Again Steven waved him off. “Nah, you’re probably the only customer I’ll have all day. Sleep, for all I care. You’re taking care of one of us. You’ve earned it.”
With that, he disappeared once more.
There it was—one of us.
Teegan glanced at his watch. Wow. He’d been sitting there at least half an hour. And he hadn’t dozed off. Had he really been thinking about Zachary that long? He glanced around the room again, making up his mind. He was going to come back. When Zachary was there. Maybe there was nothing to it, but he couldn’t help but feel he needed to know more about the man. Really know.
He turned his attention to the books in his lap. He’d just pick one and get out of there. He for sure wasn’t going to have Steven tell Zachary that his doctor had stopped by, taken a nap, and hadn’t even purchased anything.
Megan was about as stereotypically girly as a kid could be. The book needed to be about mermaids and unicorns, princesses, or fluffy animals. He discarded the top two—one about cars and the other about bugs. The third was pay dirt. A book by Alastair Winnie. He flipped through the pages, two cartoon dogs engaging in countless adorable antics. She’d love it.
Teegan tossed the book on the passenger seat, started the car, and headed home. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever been more ready to sleep. Though the thought of walking into his empty apartment and crawling into his cold bed didn’t sound as perfect as it had an hour before. Burying into the beanbags and falling asleep to the electric buzz of the fire sounded so much better. Even if it came with dreams of storybook houses, gingerbread accents, and a wounded drag queen.
Especially then.
CHAPTER FIVE
Zachary Cooper
Over the three days since he’d left the hospital, everyone from Mary’s had stopped by. Everyone. Even a few of the regular customers. There wasn’t a solitary minute where Zachary wasn’t with at least one of the Mary’s gang. The only time he was by himself was in the bathroom, and even then, there were moments he needed assistance. Turned out, it was harder than he’d imagined to use a towel with one hand, fewer intact ribs, and one less testicle. He hadn’t spent a lot of time noticing his testicles while drying off before, but now that one was gone and the other injured, there wasn’t a move he made that they didn’t make themselves known. It. Where it didn’t make itself known. Singular.
Zachary hadn’t put much thought into his views of masculinity and how he identified as male. He was a man in a dress, who owned nearly a department store-worth of makeup and shoved his balls inside his body while taping his dick between his legs. He’d been fairly certain that he was confident in his masculinity, or dismissive of it, at any rate. Yet now that one of his balls was MIA, despite that tucking really would be easier, he couldn’t help feeling like less of a man. Even less than he’d felt before.
If the three men walked past him on the street now, they’d have even more reason to hurt him.
The thought was ridiculous, as if they’d be able to somehow know he was half the man he was before. Ridiculous or not, he still thought it. And his fear grew each time the notion flitted through his head.
His reflection offered an image in such contrast that it messed with Zachary’s mind a bit. He was unable to shave with his left hand, and he couldn’t bring himself to let someone else do it for him. It was too close. Too in his face, literally. Just the thought of someone touching his face made his panic rise. Even Daniel. It made no sense. Daniel had taught him how to tuck, for crying out loud; shaving should be nothing compared to that. Though he knew it wasn’t about the shaving or Daniel, for that matter. He felt like he’d been the victim of a robbery, and his home no longer felt safe, but instead of his home, it was his body. His body was no longer safe. He’d been unable to protect it. He couldn’t allow himself to be vulnerable again.
Zachary stared at the mirror, leaning close to inspect the cut on his chin beneath the dark blond stubble. It was healing quickly; Teegan had been right. No, not Teegan. The doctor had been right. He had to quit thinking of the man by his first name. Or trying to picture him out of his scrubs.
Whatever Zachary had thought he’d felt from the doctor had to have been in his mind. Produced by drugs or trauma. Something. A man like that wouldn’t want him. And even if he had, he wouldn’t want him now. Missing a testicle. Effeminate, despite the beard coming
in, and a victim.
He’d played the events over countless times. Picturing different ways he could’ve fought back, or at least stood his ground. Running hadn’t done any good; he’d still managed to get the shit beat out of him. Daniel said such thoughts were stupid. That if he’d fought back, he’d probably have gotten hurt more. He knew Daniel meant well, but his words were meaningless. Zachary had lost count of ManDonna’s stories where she went after a bully with one of her stilettos.
He should’ve fought back.
Zachary pushed away from the mirror quickly at the soft knock at the door. He let out a quiet sigh, reprimanding himself. They were helping him. They loved him. They were his family. But they were driving him crazy. He needed a day to himself. An hour.
Of course, he hadn’t even been able to sleep in his own bed without one of them beside him. The darkness had brought on a panic attack with visions of the shadowy three men that had left him in tears of fright and pain from his heaving broken ribs. Driving him crazy or not, his friends were only doing what he needed.
He forced a smile into his voice. “Come in.”
Cody poked his head in, his dark hair falling over one of his eyes, only to be swept aside. “Hey, how you doing?”
It took Zachary a second. “Oh, right. I forgot that Vahin was leaving.”
“Yeah. Shift change.” Cody grinned and glanced down as Mrs. Madrigal slinked past him into the bathroom. “Steven gave me the night off, so you’ve got me all day. And Darwin is coming over after he gets off work, so we’re doing movie night again. I’m voting for The Dark Crystal or Watership Down. Darwin wants The Neverending Story. So you’ll have to break the tie.”
More noise. After only three days, Zachary swore he’d be okay if he never saw another movie again.
Cody’s smile faltered. “Uhm, we don’t have to do any of those if you don’t want. We could watch something else, or play a board game or something.”
