by Brandon Witt
He instantly thrust against the slick warmth of Teegan’s grasp and began to lower himself onto Teegan’s cock.
The moment he breached Zachary’s hole, Teegan groaned again, and Zachary slid down farther on his shaft to get more of a response. Too fast. Zachary sucked in a breath and rose off Teegan quickly. “Too much. Too much.”
Teegan grinned up at him, and Zachary couldn’t help but laugh.
“You don’t have to be so proud of that.”
Teegan gave another tug on Zachary’s dick. “Come on, what guy doesn’t want to hear his man say he needs a moment to prepare for his cock?”
Zachary paused at the words, but just for a split second. His man. Then he lowered himself back onto Teegan’s dick, waiting a quarter of the way down to breathe and allow himself to adjust. When the painful burning gave way to pleasure, he slid the rest of the way, causing Teegan to gasp and arch his back.
“Oh, fuck yes!”
And then Zachary began to ride, tilting forward, feeling Teegan’s length nearly slide out, then slamming himself back, taking him in fully once more, feeling more and more powerful with every humping thrust. It didn’t matter that his groin ached and his ribs burned. He felt more and more like a man again with each curse word that grunted out from Teegan’s lips.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Teegan Chau
August arrived, and despite the glory days of summer, Teegan felt like it was spring. That the last few weeks caused his life to start over, to bloom into something new. Overdramatic, maybe, but he didn’t care; that’s how it felt. Sure, there was only one factor that had changed. Zachary was in his life, but he affected everything.
Teegan had worried that he might freak out when he finally got into a gay relationship, one that consisted of more than half an hour of grunting and sweat. Turned out, it was all the things he’d loved about his marriage to Kelly with the addition of toe-curling grunting and sweating that he and his ex-wife never fully achieved.
And not only with Zachary. Teegan had been at Mary’s enough that most of the crew were starting to feel like friends of his as well. Like he’d finally found his community.
Zachary was now free of his sling, and it was wonderful to no longer see a visual reminder of all that Zachary had gone through every time he looked at him. The unforeseen downside was that now Zachary had two free hands, and while that was great when the two of them were naked together, it was less than wonderful that Ariel Merman got to experience the same benefits. The jealousy Teegan had experienced the first night watching Ariel perform was just a taste of what lay in store. Two hands flirting with the audience were twice as bad as one. Simply math, maybe, but still unexpected.
That aspect of his relationship with Ariel Merman, which at times filtered into his private thoughts of Zachary, he planned on keeping to himself. They were his issues, and the last thing Zachary needed was to have that in the back of his mind as he was performing. Teegan would get over it. Kelly had laughed when he’d told her about it and said she thought it was actually a good sign.
There was really only one aspect that ate at him. That darkened every moment with Zachary by whispering into Teegan’s ear and squeezing fear into this heart. And he was finally taking care of that issue right now.
He nearly chickened out as he sat opposite his parents in the sunroom of his childhood home, but he was tired of worrying, of playing out all the possible scenarios. Plus, he was a thirty-one-year-old man. A doctor. And a father himself, for crying out loud. Time to grow up.
“So remember when I told you both that Kelly and I were getting a divorce and that I’m gay?”
His mother had just started lifting the hot cup of tea to her lips. She flinched so hard at Teegan’s words that some of the liquid spilled on her lap. She set the cup down and dabbed at the spot with her napkin, and then recaptured the teacup, her gaze fixed on it as if her life depended on it.
He looked toward his father, whose lips had tightened and whose complexion faded to ashy.
Teegan had only spoken the words once to his parents, three years ago. He was fairly certain they had never said the word gay at all, not even to each other. It had been said once, the fallout had occurred, and there was nothing left to say.
Finally his father’s dark gaze met his, and Teegan didn’t need him to say anything to hear him clearly. Whatever Teegan had to tell them was unnecessary. Better to remain silent and as immovable as a mountain, even if the earth trembled underneath.
He wished he could.
Teegan took a page out of his mother’s playbook and focused on something besides his father’s face. The first thing his gaze landed on was a framed portrait of his father’s parents, stern and regal in their traditional garb. They definitely wouldn’t help. Then he found the metal elephant statue on a table behind his mother’s shoulder. Perfect, it would almost appear as if he were looking at her. It was a symbol for wisdom. When he was a kid, he’d play with it when his parents weren’t nearby, having his action figures ride the animal into war. It felt safe; he’d focus on that. And he for sure could use any wisdom the elephant had to offer.
“I’ve, uhm, been dating someone….” Teegan cleared his throat. “And you’ll be meeting him at some point. I think Megan will meet him soon as well, so you’ll probably hear about him from her too.”
He forced himself to glance at his parents. His mother still stared at her lap, hands gripped tightly around the teacup. His father glared at something over Teegan’s shoulders. Teegan refocused on the elephant.
“His name is Zachary, and there’s one other detail you should probably know up front.” His visually traced the crane and dragon that were etched on the elephant’s flanks. They represented something. Something that he knew as easily as his own name, but he couldn’t come up with it for the life of him. “Zachary owns a bookstore, but he also works at a restaurant called Hamburger Mary’s, where he… does drag.” Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. “He’s a drag queen. Which means he dresses up like a woman. He’s not trying to be a woman. That’s a different thing, but he—”
“We know what a drag queen is, Teegan.”
Teegan focused on his father, whose gaze was now firmly fixed on him.
“We don’t need or want to have it explained.”
He waited for his father to say more or his mother to look up. Which was silly. Why would he expect them to act out of character at this point? Maybe it was a good thing. They could go on like they had before. They’d meet Zachary and it would never be brought up again. It would simply be what it was, quietly. He cleared his throat once more. “Okay. Well, I just wanted you to know. I didn’t want there to be any secrets or something to be said when you met him that would shock you.”
His mother’s knuckles whitened as her grip on the teacup strengthened.
“We do not need to meet him, son. He will not be welcome in our home.” There wasn’t hostility in his father’s voice, not even in his expression. Just firm, cold resolve.
And Teegan did the thing he’d never done as a kid. Not when it was decreed he’d be a doctor. Not when he wasn’t allowed a curfew. Not when his college was determined for him.
He argued.
“Actually, Father, you will meet him. I believe Zachary is going to play a very large role in my life, and by default, in Megan’s.”
There was silence. Nothing in the room changed except the look in his father’s eyes. Resolve gave way to anger.
Finally his father spoke. “We will not be meeting this person. You have brought shame on our family. The shame was great when you abandoned your wife. When you produced no son.” The anger radiating from his eyes didn’t show up in his tone, at least no more than to increase its resolve. “For once, I am grateful that the ancestors did not bless you with a son. You would’ve corrupted him. The shame would’ve been greater.”
He’d known his parents had been disappointed when Kelly had given birth to a girl. They’d never spoken of it, of course, and Teegan
had believed it had faded over the years. He knew they loved Megan, but he couldn’t stop himself. “So it doesn’t matter if I corrupt Megan?” Fuck, what the hell was he saying?
His father’s gaze didn’t waver. “She is not the same as a son.” A thought seemed to hit him, and his expression faltered, the anger in his eyes abruptly breaking into sadness. “Though it strikes me that you are not the same as a son either. And that is a shame upon me.”
His mother glanced at his father, then at Teegan. He couldn’t read her expression. She didn’t speak.
Teegan sat frozen, hurt but somehow removed from the moment. His gaze slid back to the elephant, to the swirling length of the dragon. Power. The dragon represented power. He started to clear his throat, then stopped.
After placing his teacup on the small table between him and his parents, Teegan stood. He searched for the right words. None came.
Untrue—words came, but they were cruel and useless.
He turned and left the house.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Zachary Cooper
His mother had always ordered a new type of book for each season, and Zachary kept up the tradition. The new fall selections were all devoted to queer teen lit. As he pulled out each title, inspecting the covers, he wondered how it had taken so long for the idea to come to him. Who knew if he’d sell a single copy, but they needed to be in his store either way. Maybe it was silly to even still have the store. He knew people looked at his tiny bookshop and wondered why he bothered. Sure, they’d talk about how charming it was, how cozy. But he knew what they were really thinking—that all the little bookstores would go the way of the video rental shops.
Well, not his. He’d never get rich from it, but that was fine. Every day as he stocked and reshelved books, he could feel his parents beside him. The Book Nook kept them alive, and if he was being honest, he loved the store nearly as much as they had. Add that to the fact that outside of Mary’s it was the only place he felt safe? Yeah, the Book Nook wasn’t going anywhere.
Zachary had expressed such feelings to his new therapist, expecting her to talk about how that showed an unhealthy attachment to his dead parents. She hadn’t, and she’d even gone so far to say it was a good thing that he had two places he felt safe, that many survivors of assault took much longer before they felt safe anywhere at all.
Maybe he was delusional. The men who’d hurt him were still out there. He could bump into them on the street any day. There’d been two other attacks since his, the chances of seeing them again were high, but Zachary knew they wouldn’t ever come into Mary’s, and he highly doubted they could read or had any desire to enter a bookstore.
Maybe to simply relish the moment, Zachary changed his mind on where the new book section should be. He put the books back in the box, moved to a different section of shelves, and started again.
His cell rang when the box was still half-full.
Marlon Barton.
His breath caught, as it did every time Marlon called. Zachary chided himself, like he always did. Marlon was simply calling to check in, probably to see if Zachary needed someone to spend the night, even though it had been weeks since he’d taken anyone up on that offer. Despite himself, he was breathless as he answered the phone. “Hey, Marlon.”
“Hi, Zachary.” Just from those two words, Zachary knew this wasn’t a babysitting call. Marlon’s tone was all business. “I’m sure you’re working, but any chance you can get one of the others to cover the shop for a bit?”
“You got him.” It was the only explanation.
“Maybe.” There was a hesitation. “I’d like you to come down and have a look.”
All the progress he’d made, the sense of safety he’d begun to build back fell away, even darkening the shadows from the bookcases nearby. “You want me to see him? Like in one of those lineups on movies.”
“Yeah, pretty much. I know it’s a lot to ask, but it’s going to be pivotal to nailing this guy, if it’s him.”
Though the man was little more than a blur in Zachary’s mind, the idea of being face-to-face with the man, even if he were behind one-way glass, made Zachary want to dash to his car and get the hell out of town.
“Zachary? You still there?”
He tried to speak. When nothing happened, he tried again, though it was more of a croak. “Yeah.”
“You okay?”
Was he okay? Of course he wasn’t okay. He was being asked to see the guy who’d wanted to kill him. Who’d tried.
“Zachary?”
There was nothing he’d rather do less, but the idea of the man being behind bars—even if it was just one of the three—instead of accidentally running into him again somewhere, made the decision easy. “Yeah. I’ll come now.”
“You sure? I can drive over and—”
Zachary cut him off. “I’m on my way.” He hit End.
Screw getting someone to watch the store. That would take at least half an hour to get somebody over there spur-of-the-moment. Maybe longer.
He’d locked the front door and was on his way to his car when his cell phone rang again. He answered without checking the screen while he started to get into the car. “I’m on my way, Marlon. I’m not waiting for someone to watch the store.”
There was a momentary silence, then Teegan’s questioning voice. “You’re on your way to Marlon? Did something happen?”
Stupidly, Zachary pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at the screen, as if it was more believable than his own hearing. He brought the cell back as he started his car. “Yeah. Marlon has someone he thinks might be one of the guys. He needs me to check.”
“Holy crap.”
“Yeah.”
“Let me come get you. We’ll go together.”
Relief flooded through him at the thought. Having Teegan by his side, so he wouldn’t have to face the man alone like he had before.
Then it felt wrong suddenly. He needed to face the man on his own. To take back more of his power. The last time he’d seen the guy, it had been Teegan who’d acted, to show strength. It didn’t matter that it hadn’t turned out to be the guy at all. Zachary had still cowered. “Actually, I think I need to do it by myself, Teegan. I want you there. I so want you there, but I think this is something I have to do alone.”
“Babe, there’s nothing you need to prove. You don’t have to put yourself through this. Besides, Marlon will be there. You’re already not alone.”
Well, that was true. He would have a friend there. But Marlon would be more cop than friend in that moment; at least that was what Zachary needed to believe. Honestly, he wasn’t completely sure why he needed to believe that, but he was tired of introspection. It was what it was. “Sorry, Teegan. My gut is telling me I need to do this on my own. Please don’t be hurt by that. I’m not trying to—”
“Zachary, you don’t need to explain. This isn’t about me. It’s whatever you need. And if you need to do it by yourself, then you do it like that. I’m proud of you either way.”
Even as Teegan spoke the words, Zachary experienced some regret. He really did want Teegan with him, but he held firm, for better or worse. Another thought hit him as he pulled out of his driveway. “Are you okay? Did you need something, or were you calling to say hi?”
Another pause. “I, uhm, just left my folks, so I thought I’d see if you were free. If I could take you to lunch or something.”
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah. I am. Call me when you’re done.”
It was easy to hear that Teegan wasn’t all right, but Zachary found he didn’t have it in him to press. There was only so much he could take in that moment. “You got it. I’ll call you after. Promise.”
“All right, Zachary. If it’s too much or you need to walk away, you say the word.”
Zachary nodded and met Marlon’s gaze. He didn’t try to speak. He just wanted it over with.
Marlon opened the door to the small room. Another officer waited inside, but Zachary did litt
le more than glance at her, his gaze focused on the large, rectangular window and the men on the other side. He heard the door click shut and then Marlon was beside him. Marlon had already explained the process and didn’t speak as Zachary stepped closer to the window.
He’d envisioned this moment countless times. He feared he’d start to cry or literally run away. His biggest fear, however, was that he’d be staring at one of the guys who hurt him and not be certain it was him, given how fuzzy that night was. That he’d turn loose the man who might do the same thing to him if they met again.
His fears were unfounded. All of them. Though he thought his heart might explode from overdrive, and though there was no place he wanted to be less, his body felt cool. Almost removed, as if he was watching this happen to someone else. Like a movie. He took another step toward the window.
Zachary didn’t even have to inspect the other faces. He was the fourth one from the end. He knew it. He could feel it. The it. Whatever it was. Whatever connection had been formed as the man beat and kicked, as Zachary shielded his face and screamed. Whatever that was, it was still there. He’d not even realized it when he’d mistaken the other man. He’d been afraid, but this sensation hadn’t been there. It was now.
He then saw the earrings, the tattoo. Same as that night.
He forced himself to look at the other men. They all had earrings, they all had a tattoo on their necks. He returned his gaze to the fourth man and still knew.
“It’s him.” He pointed to the man.
“How do you know?” It was the other officer.
“I… I’m not sure. I just know.”
“I’m afraid—”
Marlon cut her off. “You’re really sure, Zachary?”
