She could still hear Gramps as he and Kyla had cleaned out the attic right before the closing. Damn city kids. They don’t even know what they’re buying here. This isn’t a summer house. It’s a home. It’s a home, dammit. Then he’d turned around quickly and creaked down the attic ladder before Kyla could see the tears she’d known were brewing.
Her ribs constricted when she thought about the irony that though she’d been responsible for them losing their life savings, the only account Wes hadn’t found and pilfered was the one they’d started for her when she was an infant.
When they’d died, the attorney had summoned her to his office and delivered a monstrous check. He couldn’t possibly have understood why she’d dropped it and run right back out of the office.
Kyla sighed loudly, then sensed a tremble in her stomach. It felt almost like a laugh, which was completely inappropriate. Again. Maybe she had Tourette’s or something. The situation was so beyond absurd she couldn’t even believe she’d been part of it, let alone the unwitting victim of Wes’s deception. It sounded like one of those cable channel movies where the blond bimbo got snowed, bankrupted, and then sent to a mental institution. How could any of it be real?
Her stomach trembled again. Good Lord, she really was losing her mind. “Do you think maybe they’ll make a TV movie out of this or something? I should totally get to choose who plays me, right?”
Jess hugged her. “Oh, definitely, darlin’. Who would you choose?”
“Gosh, so many choices.” Kyla flipped her hair. “I mean, the slate of five-foot-three, brunette Hollywood actresses has to be at least three names long, right?”
Hayley leaned toward her. “You should totally go for Nicole Kidman or Julia Roberts instead.”
Kyla laughed out loud. “Jennifer Aniston, maybe? We’re practically twins, right?”
“Jess, she’s laughing. Day Two and we already have laughter. Score!” Hayley high-fived Jess.
Kyla swiped her eyes again. “You know what? You’re right. I think maybe, just maybe, I’m already starting to feel better. Maybe I just haven’t been thinking about this the right way, because right now, thinking about Wes and my grandparents, I’m so pissed I could eat nails. And pissed is a way better emotion than this abject depression thing.”
Jess sputtered her water. “Eat nails?”
“Gramma used to say that. Well, without the pissed part.” Kyla stood up, catching herself as her leg threatened to give way. She shook her head and shoulders like a wrestler about to enter the ring. “I’m done moping. I am. We’re in the most beautiful spot on earth, I’ve got my two best friends, the trial’s over, and Wes is in jail. It’s high time to get my life back, don’t you think?”
Hayley grinned. “I do think!”
Jess blinked hard as she gathered Kyla into a hug. “Me, too, darlin’. Me, too.”
Kyla pulled back and winked at Jess. “Y’know what? I think I might be ready for you to make that voodoo doll you promised. I want it to look just like Wes.”
“I was kidding about that, honey. I don’t really do those.”
“Hayley? How about you?”
“Oh, I’d be happy to stick pins in a Wes-doll! Let’s make one!”
Chapter 7
“Anyone know what the most common trail injury is?” Cole tipped back his hat and scanned the guests. Kyla pulled her sweatshirt closed and sipped her cocoa. Holy brr, it was cold. It’d been eight-five degrees at noon yesterday, but it was just cresting forty right now. Apparently this was August in western Montana, at least this year.
She longed again for the gooshy, perfect queen-sized bed in her cabin, which was a lot softer and warmer than the log she was currently sitting on. The sky practically crackled blue above her, and she could hear robins and chickadees skittering around in the trees near the ranch house.
“Anyone awake yet?” Cole’s amused voice snapped her out of her daydreaming. “What’s the most common injury we see on the trail? Any guesses?”
“Sprained ankles?” Theresa ventured.
“Nope.”
“Back injuries?” Maureen guessed.
“Nope again.”
“Sore heinies?” Hayley tried, to a round of sleepy laughter.
Cole grinned. “Getting closer. That’s second. Anyone else?”
Jess shivered. “Concussions?”
“Nope. You’re not going to believe this, but the number one most common trail-riding injury here is …” He looked around the circle to make sure everyone was listening. “… sunburn.”
“Sunburn? Seriously?” Cheryl looked up at the sky.
“But don’t worry. Sunburn we can prevent. Today’s lesson is dedicated to the stuff we can’t necessarily predict or prevent.” Cole turned toward the barn on his left with his arm outstretched. “Allow me to introduce my assistants for today’s program, Jimmy and Pete.” They emerged from the stable, hobbling from what looked like multiple fake injuries.
Pete got to the circle first and collapsed on a log, holding his ankle in mock pain. Jimmy was next, bracing his head and blinking rapidly. Kyla looked from one to the other, trying not to laugh at their antics. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Decker smile as he shook his head.
She jumped. Where had he come from? She’d been so relieved to find him missing from the log circle this morning, since last time he’d seen her, she’d been playing Runaway Sleepwalker.
“Okay, we’ve got two injuries. First order of business—who do we treat first?” Kyla tore her eyes from Decker to concentrate on Cole’s instructions.
“The head injury,” Tom guessed, and Maureen nodded.
“Right. What do we do?”
“Ask him what happened?”
Cole turned to Jimmy. “What happened, Fred?”
Jimmy scowled. “I don’t know, but my head is killing me. I gotta sit down.” He careened onto a log, then clutched his stomach and lurched back up. “Never mind. I don’t feel so good. I gotta lie down.” He stumbled a bit as he walked outside the circle and lay down on the grass.
“You tired?” Cole asked.
“Mmm.”
Cole turned to the group. “What do you think, docs? Does he have a concussion?”
“He sure looks like it,” Maureen offered.
Cole nodded. “Yep. He’s nauseous, he’s tired, and his head hurts. And he’s disoriented enough not to notice I’m not even using his right name. Those are all pretty strong signs.” He scanned the circle of guests again, but this time, everyone was paying attention. “I want to assure you we’ve never had a guest experience anything like this, but head injuries are serious business. You see someone take a good bonk to the head, you start asking questions. What’s your name? What happened? Where are you? Who’s your sister? Who’s the president? That sort of stuff. If they’re falling asleep, vomiting, or if they can’t answer those basic questions, off to the hospital they go.”
“Off you go, Fred.” Hayley motioned Jimmy away. He scowled playfully at her, then took a few steps backward so the group could concentrate on Pete’s injuries.
An hour later, they’d practiced bandaging a sprain, splinting an arm, and doing a couple of carries in case anyone had to be bodily transported out of the woods. Good Lord. Who knew there were so many ways they might hurt themselves? That new spa was looking better and better.
Cole gathered them back on their logs and started wrapping up the splints. “Now, we’ve never had anyone need more than a Band-Aid on the trail, but it’s always better to be overprepared. We carry good medical supplies, and Decker and I are both EMT-certified, so you’re in good hands. It’s still important to pay attention and not do anything stu—” Cole sent a curious glance toward the stable, where Pete and Jimmy were stumbling out. “What the—”
Kyla’s eyes followed his, but she could only see Pete’s and Jimmy’s torsos over the other guests’ heads. Jimmy called out, “We got a surprise for you, boss! How ya gonna fix this injury?” Kyla swallowed hard as they got close
and she caught a glimpse of Pete’s leg, which was streaming with fake blood. As Jimmy laid Pete down just inside the circle of logs, Kyla’s head started to prickle. Somehow the ranch hands had fashioned a fake bone to stick out of Pete’s jeans, and ketchup-blood was dripping everywhere.
She saw Decker’s dark expression a millisecond before the prickles turned to an icy sensation that enveloped her head, top to bottom. Oh, no. Something about this scene was triggering her subconscious mind to panic. Dammit. This was not happening here.
She tried to close her eyes and concentrate on her breathing, but as soon as she did so, it just made her hyperaware that she was breathing way too fast and shallow. Her shoulders suddenly felt very heavy, and her arms felt like they were stuck in mud.
Oh, God. She was having a panic attack. Had she seen something like this at the accident? It made her ill to even wonder. Hayley and Jess had gone in to help Ma get lunch ready, so they were too far away to call to. She couldn’t seem to figure out how to use her voice anyway. All she could think was that she needed to get out of here. Now. She just had to make her legs cooperate, and stop breathing so damn fast.
As everyone closed around Pete, she opened her eyes and tried to take a deep breath, but it didn’t work. Maybe it really was a heart attack this time. She could feel her heart beating in her chest, and could hear it pounding in her ears. Her breath felt cold on her upper lip, and she wished she could lift what felt like iron bricks from her chest. Logic told her the feelings would pass, but the illogical part of her brain was pretty convinced she was losing her freakin’ mind.
She tried to stand up, but her legs had turned to oatmeal. She stumbled back toward the log, but miscalculated and hit it with her ankles. The air hummed and buzzed around her head, and as she fell backward, the branches and sky above her were all mottled like she was looking through a kaleidoscope. Her last thought was that her head was really going to hurt when it landed on the log.
* * *
“Kyla. Kyla, wake up, honey.” A deep voice reached past the fog in her brain, but it was a stranger’s voice. She couldn’t answer. She became aware of shuffling sounds, felt hands on her arm, voices around her.
Two warm hands cupped her face, thumbs stroking the skin under her eyes. “Kyla, wake up or I’m gonna put you back on Kismet and send her running.”
She squinted her eyes open and met two piercing blue ones. Decker. What was going on? Why was she lying on the ground? Why was Decker looking at her like she was two steps from the loony bin? She tore her eyes from his when she felt someone lift her left hand. Cole had his fingers around her wrist, looking at his watch and counting silently.
Her brain was foggy and she knew she needed to get up, but she couldn’t get her body to agree with her. When Cole let go of her wrist, she tried to get her elbows under her to hoist herself up, but they weren’t working. Good Lord, had she had a stroke?
“Kyla, look at me.” Decker’s hands were on her face again. She obeyed his command because it was somehow comforting to have someone tell her what to do. “We’re going to get up now. I’m going to help you.” He started to lift her. Kyla fumbled for his hand as she tried to make her body cooperate. His hand closed around hers, and she held on for dear life.
As she finally stood, Decker steadied her shoulders, pulling her close to his body. “We’re going to take a walk and get rid of some of this adrenaline, okay?” Kyla nodded as he stepped forward, his arm steady around her back. Her feet felt like she’d tied full paint cans to them, and she fought not to stumble as Decker led her across the lawn.
After an excruciatingly slow trip around the house, Kyla’s fog started to lift. Oh, holy hell. She’d had an honest-to-goodness, no-holds-barred, full-fledged freakin’ panic attack. Again. In front of a whole herd of strangers. Again. In front of Decker, who was now guiding her over the lawn like a mental patient. Who was so warm, so strong, so steady that she wanted to stay forever in this position.
She stopped walking, and Decker loosened his grip as he peered down into her eyes. “How we doing, honey?” His voice was so tender. But he was an EMT. He was trained to talk like this. It meant nothing. He probably called everybody honey.
“I’m okay.” Kyla took a deep breath. “Oh, God. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say.”
Decker came around to face her, placing his hands on her biceps. “Don’t apologize, Kyla. You can’t control a panic attack.”
“How’d you know?”
“I’m an EMT, remember?” He winked, and she was struck by the fact that he was so matter-of-fact about it. She’d felt like nutter-of-the-month since the attacks had started, but here he was just helping her walk off the adrenaline, not looking at her like maybe it was time to call the white-coated men and have her carted away.
She sighed. “I made a complete scene. I’m really sorry. I didn’t see it coming.”
He leveled her with a look, but didn’t say another word for a moment. Then he put his arm back around her shoulder. “Come on. Let me show you something.”
As much as she wanted to say I can walk by myself or I’m fine—you can go or anything of the like, the words wouldn’t come out of her mouth. The only thing she wanted right now was to nestle her body against his as he guided her down the path past the barns. He was just tall enough, just strong enough, just warm enough to make her feel safe. And though the last thing she wanted was to be dependent on anyone else, she couldn’t help but lean into him as he pulled her closer.
The panic attack was actually completely logical, from a medical point of view. This desire, this need to be near Decker right now?
Completely illogical.
Five minutes later, Decker dropped his arm from her shoulder and instead took her hand firmly in his as he veered off the cabin pathway. He led her down a grassy slope into the pine forest that sat below the barns. The hill sloped mildly through the pines, and the pine needles silenced her shaky footsteps as she followed him toward the sound of bubbling water.
It took only a couple of minutes to reach the brook, which meandered along a rocky path down the hillside. She imagined it was no more than a trickle by the end of September, but that was a good six weeks away, and right now it burbled over the stones, heading through the forest out of sight.
“Want to sit for a little while?” Decker asked softly, letting go of her hand.
Kyla lowered herself gingerly to watch the water. Her legs were still shaky and her head still felt a bit prickly, but it was better. “I really am sorry.”
Decker crouched down beside her, looking at the brook. “You can stop apologizing. And just so you know, that wasn’t supposed to happen. I have no idea what those idiots were thinking.” He tossed a twig into the water.
“It wasn’t their fault. Not really.”
“Maybe not, but it was ridiculous. Obviously we need to find more for them to do, if this is the kind of crap they come up with when they’re bored.”
“I’m sure they thought they were being funny. They had no way of knowing they’d send someone flipping backward over a log.” Kyla rubbed the back of her head, wincing.
“Well, it won’t happen again, I assure you.”
Kyla wished she could assure him of the same. But she couldn’t. She hadn’t felt the panic attack coming in time to get away from the crowd, not this time, and not the other day in court. By the time she’d realized what was happening, her limbs had been too heavy to cooperate and help her escape.
“Kyla—” he started.
“Hey, sweetie, are you okay?” Jess appeared out of nowhere and folded herself down on Kyla’s other side. Kyla forced her eyes away from Decker to turn to Jess.
“I’m fine, Jess. Just had to get away from the amputation up there.” Kyla drilled her eyes at Jess, begging her not to ask more questions.
Decker eased up from his crouch, and Kyla fought the urge to pull him back down with her. What was wrong with her? “Looks like reinforcements are here. I guess I’ll, uh, head bac
k up and roll some heads, if that’s okay with you. You think you’re going to be okay?”
“Fine. Yes, I’ll be fine.” She nodded, but knew her voice wasn’t very convincing.
He reached out like he was going to touch her, but pulled back. “I highly recommend sitting by the brook for a while, though. Whisper Creek water is good medicine, Ma always says.”
Kyla nodded again, slowly. “Thanks, Decker. For, well, for everything.”
He put two fingers on his Stetson in an old-fashioned salute, then turned to head back up the hill. As much as Kyla was grateful for Jess coming to check on her, she wondered what Decker had been about to say. She twisted her hands together thoughtfully as she watched the water flow over tiny boulders, remembering the feel of her hand in his warm, strong one.
As soon as he was out of earshot, Jess rubbed her shoulder. “Panic attack?”
Kyla nodded miserably, and to her chagrin, tears prickled her eyes again. “Dammit, Jess. Am I ever going to get better? Wasn’t it just last night that I was saying I was done with this? Ready to move on?”
“Oh, sweetie.” Jess put her arm around Kyla’s shoulder. “You are getting better. You know you are. These things are unpredictable, especially when you get a lovely blood-and-gore surprise. Seriously, what was the point of that?”
Kyla shook her head. “I have no flippin’ idea. Idiots with ketchup.”
“I’m so sorry we were inside.” Jess squeezed Kyla’s shoulder. “Sweetie, I know you don’t want to hear this, but you look awful. Really awful. Do you think maybe you could sleep if you lie down?”
Kyla groaned. “Jessie, I’m working on my brave face, but right now I’m too afraid to sleep. If I sleep, I might dream. And you know where that gets me.”
Jess ran her hands through the pine needles at her feet, drawing squiggles in the sand. “I thought the nightmares would be fading by now.”
“I know. But they haven’t yet. And in every single one, Gramps is calling to me to save him, but I don’t. Sometimes he’s standing on a cliff, sometimes he’s falling out of a plane. It’s terrifying.”
Accidental Cowgirl Page 6
