by Jon Skovron
Brigga Lin’s dark eyes were unreadable. “Red’s generosity in bargaining for my life when he hardly knew me—indeed when he had cause to hate me—is more kindness than I have known in my life. I will not consider my oath fulfilled until Red is free or I am dead.” She curtseyed low.
Hope swiveled her sword to point down and set the tip on the wooden deck. “We’ll be pirates, then. And woe to any who cross our path.”
* * *
Red stood at the window, gazing out over the building tops of Stonepeak. He had not realized until now just how far he could see. He watched as the Lady’s Gambit glided out to sea, no imperial ships in pursuit.
“Alright, I reckon you made good on your promise,” he said.
“Do you think that you will remember her when we are done with you?” asked the dusty voice. “Do you think you will even be you?”
Red turned to look at the hooded figure who hadn’t left his side and didn’t seem to need food or sleep. “What else would I be?”
The biomancer pulled back his hood to reveal a face as hard and jagged as the rock on which the palace stood. With stone lips that barely moved, he said, “When we are finished with you, you will not even be a man. You will be a shadow of death.”
The story continues in
Book Two of The Empire of Storms
BANE & SHADOW
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A Cursory Examination Regarding the Common Folk Slang of New Laven
By Thoriston Baggelworthy
Reprinted with kind permission from the Hollow Falls Gentleman’s Quarterly
It is true that the youth of the upper classes have developed the odd slang word here or there. For example, in Hollow Falls I hear them call each other “fronzies” instead of friends. And rather than being pleased with something, they are invariably “smitten” with it, regardless of the actual degree of pleasure they feel. But I recently spent a great deal of time in downtown New Laven where the lower classes reside. I was there to collect art and information concerning the great proto-Passionist painter and subject of my forthcoming biography, Lady Gulia Pastinas. During my time in the neighborhoods of Silverback, Hammer Point, and Paradise Circle, I encountered a folk slang so bewilderingly complex and pervasive, at times it seemed like they were speaking another language.
For your interest and amusement, I have recorded some of the more popular words and phrases of this curious and sometimes lewd slang of the lower classes. I have endeavored, to the best of my ability, to set down what I believe to be the meanings for these words, as well as theories regarding their etymological origins. Some meanings were fairly obvious, but I confess that with some I am merely taking a stab in the dark, based on the contexts in which I heard them.
What follows is not the sum total of the New Laven folk slang, but a sampling of the popular words and phrases I encountered during my time there.
Balls and pricks: Nonsense or foolishness. Both “balls” and “pricks” derive from the more universal slang for the male genitalia (the scrotum and penis, respectively), although why such words would imply foolishness is unclear.
Bilge: Stomach. A great many slang words are taken from sailing and ship vocabulary, which is curious, since the majority of inhabitants have never set foot on a ship.
Bludgeon: Stupid. It is worth noting that while we would typically use this word as a noun (e.g. a club or cudgel) or as a verb (e.g. to bludgeon someone), the lower classes use this word exclusively as an adjective.
Boot: Thug or gangster who serves a crime boss. While general criminal activity is rampant in the neighborhoods of Paradise Circle and Hammer Point, the organized crime element is strong enough to nearly be considered a form of neighborhood governance. To be a “boot” for a powerful crime boss is considered a position of power and respect and often elicits fear in those not affiliated. At the same time, the “boot” must give complete allegiance to his boss, including laying down his life in service if called to do so. In this respect, they remind me a great deal of our own imperial soldiers, who work tirelessly and selflessly to ensure the safety of our empire.
Cock-dribble: A loathsome, useless person. “Cock” is another universal slang word for male genitalia. The “dribble,” I suspect, refers to ejaculate. One might infer, then, that the meaning derives from ejaculate that escaped outside of copulation, something which would indeed be useless.
Chum and larder: Friendly or personable. While it is clear that “larder,” or food pantry, is a pleasing thing, especially for those for whom healthy sustenance is difficult to obtain, I confess I have been unable to determine the sense in using the word “chum,” which to my knowledge only means inedible bits of fish dropped into the water to encourage larger fish to approach and be more easily caught. I suspect there may have been some intermediary usage of the word that has been lost to memory.
Cunt-dropping: An idiot or ignorant fool. The word “cunt” is derived from the more universal slang for the female genitalia. The implication, I suspect, is either that the recipient of the label has acted so stupidly, it is as if they had just been born, or that the speaker believes them to have been dropped on their head as an infant. So far, I have been unable to determine which is meant.
Drain the bucket: To love or enjoy something. I believe this phrase derives from the more universal slang phrase “To eat it up.” Again, it is worth noting that lower classes, for whom sustenance can be difficult to obtain, place a great deal of value in food and drink.
Gaf: Person or acquaintance. This is one of the most slippery words I encountered. At times, the word signified only someone the speaker did not know, or did not know well. But at other times, there was an inflection to the word which indicated a mild distaste for the person.
Go leeward: Something that goes wrong or turns out poorly. Here is another example of a sailing term used in a new context. Traditionally, “leeward” refers to the side of something (usually a ship or coastal land) that is not facing the wind. Why the leeward would be considered negative in this case is unclear.
Grave: Serious. It seems highly likely that the word derives from the more literal meaning of a place where the dead are buried. It is curious they would use or even know this word, considering there is no land in downtown New Laven for burial. The inhabitants either cremate their dead, or simply throw them into the ocean.
Imp: Imperial police. I suspect it is not a coincidence that the lower classes use a nickname for the imperial police that is also the word for a troublesome demon or spirit. The distrust of imperial power is so pervasive in the lower classes as to be assumed by all.
In a drop: In a second or without hesitation. The origin of this phrase confounds me. My current hypothesis is that at some point in the distant past, there was a method of time keeping that involved water or liquid of some kind and this phrase is the only surviving record of it.
Keen: To understand. Like “gaf,” the usage of this word is somewhat fluid. Depending on context, this word can either be used in a sentence, as in “Do you keen?” or on its own, as in simply “Keen?” In either case, the speaker wishes to know whether the listener grasps their meaning, either direct or implied.
Lacy: An upper class or rich person. It should be noted that almost without exception, a strong negative opinion is implied.
Leaky: To be sexually aroused. Although the original meaning may have derived from the secretion of vaginal fluid during female sexual arousal, the present day use seems to be nonspecific regarding gender.
Molly: Young woman. This, along with its counterpart (see “Tom”), is one of the few gender-specific titles used. There is generally a suggestion that the young woman is attractive or desirable in some way, although sometimes a more neutral meaning is implied. The difference is suggested in both context and tone.
Nearly choked on the gad: To laugh really hard. While the general idea of this phrase is somewhat obvious, of laughing so hard one coughs or chokes on their own sa
liva, I have been unable to find a specific meaning or origin for the word “gad.”
Not for tossing: Someone who does not like or is not interested in sex (see “Toss”). It is interesting to note that there is no negative meaning implied in this phrase. Indeed, both times I had occasion to hear it used, there was a measure of respect implied, which was surprising, given the generally liberal sexuality that is rampant among the lower classes.
Nothing but jape: To tease or give someone a hard time. Derived from the word “jape,” which, along with “japery,” is employed far more frequently by the lower classes than it is by the upper classes.
Old pot: A good friend. I have been unable to determine why a “pot” should inspire such an affectionate title. Perhaps it again goes back to the idea that the lower classes place far more value on food and drink than we do. Simple pleasures for simple folk, as it were.
Pat: Popular or appealing. I confess the meaning of this word somewhat alludes me. I was never able to predict when something looked “pat” or was “pat,” yet every person I spoke to considered it so obvious, they had trouble explaining why it was “pat.”
Piss: This is an all-purpose curse word. I have heard it used as a noun, verb, and even an adverb. Rarely is it used for the more universal slang for urine.
Pissed and peppered: To be upset. I have been unable to determine (or even conjecture) how these two words came to be used together. And yet, there is something that feels wholly appropriate that they are. Though coarse and vulgar, there is at times an undeniably poetic quality to this common folk slang that defies analysis.
Piss’ell: A contraction of “piss” and “hell,” used as an exclamation of an unpleasant surprise.
Ponce: Someone who is soft or weak-willed. Although the more universal use of this word refers only to men, the usage among the lower classes seems to be gender neutral.
Roll: To steal from someone. Usually in a physically violent manner. My hypothesis is that the word derives from the act of knocking the victim unconscious, then rolling their inert body over for easier access to any money or goods they might be harboring.
Salthead: Affectionate insult for someone exhibiting stupid behavior. I have been unable to determine when to use this word and when to use the more insulting “bludgeon.” At times, it seems to be the severity of the stupidity. At other times it seems more to do with the relationship between the speaker and the subject.
Simple as sideways: Easily accomplished. What most confounds me about this phrase is just how unnecessary “as sideways” is, when simply saying it is “simple” would get the meaning across just as easily. As far as I can tell, it does not add in any way to the meaning and exists simply for alliteration.
Slice: Derogatory term for a woman or a vagina. I did note that while both men and women use the term, men invariably use it as a serious insult, but women sometimes employ it more as good natured banter with no real offense meant or taken. I have come to suspect this disparity has something to do with the noted liberality concerning gender among the lower classes.
Slide: Leave or escape. The choice of the word “slide” I think originally suggested that the person was leaving in a smooth or artful manner, but modern use seems to have expanded to a more general meaning.
Slippy: Crazy or unpredictable. Most likely this a shortening of the word “slippery” and originally meant that the meaning of a person’s words or actions was difficult to understand.
Sotted: To be in love. This is possibly my favorite word in the common folk slang of New Laven. To me it suggests that the speaker is saturated with feelings of affection for another person.
Soundly: Loudly. When I first heard this word, I thought it was one of those rare times in the folk slang of New Laven where the relationship between the word and its meaning was abundantly clear. But then I spoke to several native speakers, and they all agreed that “sound” did not derive from the word for “noise” in this case, but from “sounding,” the act of measuring the depth of the ocean or other body of water. The lower classes of Paradise Circle have a rich, earthy sense of humor, and I confess that I could not determine if they were teasing me or not.
Southend: The act of selling an unwilling person to a ship’s captain as an indentured servant. Other than robbery, this is perhaps the biggest danger to any visitor of Paradise Circle. There are inns and brothels which drug unsuspecting lodgers with a mild narcotic called black rose and sell them to ship captains. The victim usually wakes up the following day many miles out to sea, where they are given the option to either work on the crew or be thrown overboard as a stowaway. Most frequently this practice is undertaken by ships heading for the Southern Isles, which are said to be cold, inhospitable, and barely civilized, and therefore not a popular destination.
Southie: Mildly derogatory term for someone from the Southern Isles. The Southern peoples are a hard, taciturn lot with yellow hair and pale skin. They are a rare sight in New Laven and stand out in the predominantly dark-haired population. I have given some thought to their notable physical disparity and believe that their ancestors migrated from another country many centuries ago. If not for the difficulty in crossing to the Southern Isles, I suspect they would have blended with the rest of the population some time ago.
Speak crystal: To be truthful or to speak clearly. Again, the meaning shifts, depending on context. While discussing this widely used phrase with a native speaker, he was surprised to learn that “crystal” is a naturally forming substance that has been discovered on certain islands of the empire, most notably the Painted Caves of Pauper’s Prayer. He had been unaware that the word had any meaning outside the context of the slang phrase he used so frequently.
Sugar lump: A nice person. It is important to note that both “niceness” and sugar are rare commodities in both Paradise Circle and Hammer Point. Niceness is greatly valued, as long as the person in question is not weak-willed or soft (see “Ponce”).
Sunny: Something good or pleasant. As a life-long inhabitant of Hollow Falls, this word makes perfect sense to me. The amount of rainfall per year on New Laven is more than twice that of Stonepeak. The sun is something we see all too rarely, and is one of the few hardships we share with the lower classes.
Tom: A young man. As with its female counterpart (see “Molly”), the meaning varies somewhat in context. Generally the assumption is that the young man is virile, handsome, and sexually active, although sometimes a more neutral meaning is implied.
Toss: To have sexual intercourse. This term does not differentiate male or female, heterosexual or homosexual, oral, vaginal, or anal, but encompasses all of it. The sexual liberality of the lower classes is well known, but I cannot emphasize enough just how little shame or discretion they have. In Paradise Circle, I once witnessed two people “tossing” in an open alley for all the world to see, and no one but myself seemed to remark on it.
True as trouble: Something that is certain to happen. While there is still the same alliterative nature found in other phrases (see “Simple as sideways”), it seems appropriate, and perhaps even poetic, that the lower classes of New Laven equate certainty with trouble. For all their sexual liberality and criminal activity, they did not choose the difficult, often life-threatening conditions found in Paradise Circle and Hammer Point. Death from starvation and disease are common occurrences, and violence a necessary part of survival. As I sit here writing this in my warm, comfortable study, it gives me pause to wonder if there is not something that we, the upper classes, could do to alleviate some of their suffering.
Wag: This title is gender neutral. It can refer to a friend or acquaintance, or even to someone not known personally to the speaker. One of the few things I can say definitively is that it is always in reference to a fellow member of the lower classes. If someone is a “true wag,” it means they exemplify the qualities of bravery and loyalty, both to friends and to the neighborhood, that are prized by the community above all else.
I hope you found my cur
sory examination of the common folk slang of New Laven both educational and entertaining. One component that I feel I should note is the musicality. It is impossible for me to capture in mere words the shifting quality of the speech, which is at once earthy and lyrical. As such, for those of you who wish to learn more about this fascinating and unpredictable folk slang, I strongly recommend you venture to Silverback, or even better, all the way down to Paradise Circle. The inhabitants there have an almost childlike fondness for coins. A handful of silver will encourage a great many of them to discourse at length on the subject of both their slang and the culture of their neighborhood. For my part, I plan to return after I complete my biography of Lady Gulia Pastinas, perhaps with the intention of expanding this small work into something larger, if there is enough interest among the upper classes to warrant it.
Acknowledgments
I was six years old when the sea took a finger from my left hand. It was an experience that could have frightened me off of boats and sailing forever. But my grandfather, John Kelley, wouldn’t hear of it, and instead imparted upon me such a fierce love of the ocean that, to this day, no matter what troubles me, when I am on a boat of any kind, I am always able to find some peace. It feels like a gross understatement to say that this book would not have been possible without him, as well as my aunt Laura, uncle Peter, and cousins, Alex and Liz, who continue on in the fine tradition of sailing, while I sit here, much too far from the sea, and only dream about it.
It feels equally inadequate to thank my friend and fellow writer, Stephanie Perkins, who has been a champion of this book from the very beginning. Whether as cheerleader, critic, or savvy business advisor, I am grateful for everything she has contributed.
