by Heath Pfaff
"Your favoring offensive strikes, but your defensive recovery is being under emphasized. That kind of barrage might work on an untrained opponent, but anyone who can keep their head through your initial flurry of attacks is going to be in a position to deliver a deadly repose. After you finish with Shawl tomorrow we'll run through your forms again. This time we won't quit until you either perfect them, or the sun closes the day." Kassa grabbed her pack from the ground and replaced her sword on her hip. She still insisted upon wearing the long steel despite the fact that she was more effective without it. The sun was hanging low in the sky and the day was just about out.
Haley sighed, too exasperated to groan. She understood the importance of forms, but there was little that was more dull than repeating the same motions over and over again as someone pointed out that your hip was a finger's width too far to the right, or that your foot wasn't turned out at quite the correct angle. It had been three months since Xandrith's disappearance, and Haley's life had devolved from an epic adventure to a non-stop barrage of training and tedium. Her mornings were spent with Johndin Shawl learning the secrets that would let her tap the latent magic abilities she possessed. These were stressful hours spent in quiet study and meditation reaching for intangible goals. She'd finally gotten to the point where her talents were fully awake and she could see the glow of magic when it was being used, but that felt like a very small step forward. Haley had made what Shawl assured her was incredible progress, but it didn't feel like it to the young girl. Worse, Haley was only too aware of the cost of her lessons with Shawl every morning. Every time she tapped into her magical talents, she was draining Shawl's already well advanced years. He insisted it was necessary for her to understand how to grasp the power and control the flow of her magic. He wouldn't let Kassa take any of the burden, so his own life was the price paid for Haley's lessons. Shawl assured her that they weren't doing anything that would significantly impact his lifespan, but Haley's conscience worried at her.
Sometimes she wondered if her constant rush of activity wasn't intentional. Since Xan's disappearance the others kept her in a nonstop cycle of training, never giving her time to sit idle and grow bored. Her work was tedious, but it kept her engaged. Did the others think that she was truly distracted from thinking about Xandrith and what had happened to him? Shawl wouldn't say what he believed had occurred on the night Xan vanished, and Kassa honestly didn't seem to remember much. Haley couldn't stop thinking about it. Somewhere her friend was out there, possibly fighting for his life, and there was nothing she could do to help him. Perhaps her training was supposed to distract her from that fact, but it didn't. Haley lay awake for hours after the others had fallen asleep at night thinking about Xan and what he could possibly be doing. How had he gotten off Dreamer's Isle? Where had he gone? Shawl seemed to know something, but he wouldn't say. Kassa seemed just as lost as Haley, but she was so difficult to talk to. It wasn't that Kassa refused to talk to Haley, or was tight-lipped, or anything like that. Haley just couldn't bring herself to really talk to the other woman. There was an unspoken tension between them. It sometimes burst out in their sparring matches, and things would become exceedingly heated, but they never spoke of it.
"Let's go get some supper." Kassa said as she started off down the path that would take them to Shawl's cabin. Haley gathered up her own gear, fastening on her axe and the dagger Xandrith had given her, and followed the older woman down the winding trail back to the cabin. Haley wasn't looking forward to stew again, but it seemed to be the only thing that the old mage cooked. It made Haley wish she'd spent more time with her mother learning the basics of running a kitchen, anything for a mild chance of pace. At least they had fresh supplies coming again. It had taken Kassa some time to find a captain willing to deliver food to the isle. Shawl's previous provider refused to help because he steadfastly believed Shawl was some kind of evil wraith risen from the dead, which hadn't helped Kassa's cause as she argued on his behalf. If the people of Terrial weren't already superstitious enough, Kassa's insistence that Shawl was in fact still residing on the island and had not been eaten by the fairies seemed only to convince the people of Terrial that Shawl was indeed some kind of undead demon. Now he wasn't simply the crazy hermit who lived among the fairies, but the haunt of the crazy hermit who had once lived among the fairies. Kassa had returned home many nights completely furious. Johndin Shawl seemed to find the whole matter hilarious, but he always declined to take the boat to shore himself to handle the problem. Haley didn't always understand the old man's sense of humor. It was a little more difficult to read than Xan's dry, dark jokes that she'd come to be quite fond of.
Haley slipped through the door behind Kassa and headed for the stew pot simmering over the fire place. It was definitely another stew, but she was hungry and so it would suffice. Kassa was already spooning out a dish for herself by the time Haley had recovered a bowl from the cupboard and made her way to the pot. Johndin had eaten already and was seated in his rocking chair, smoking a strange mix of herbs from his hand crafted wooden pipe. He lit the material in the bowl with a piece of wick, took a draw from his pipe, and then covered the herb again with a wooden stopper before letting the smoke out in a deep, slow exhale of puffy white smoke. The old man sighed and Haley scrunched her nose, which tugged at the ugly burn on her face. Haley wasn't certain what benefit the old man got from his smoke, but the stuff didn't exactly smell pleasant.
"How was the day's training?" He asked as the women took their seats and began to eat.
"Haley's getting better every day." Kassa said the same thing just about every time she was asked. It was all part of the repeating routine that Haley was becoming fed up with.
"Good, good! She's a clever girl." Shawl replied with a smile before taking another puff from his pipe. Silence fell for a few minutes with the only sound being that of Haley and Kassa finishing up their stew. It was far too quiet. Haley cleared her throat.
"It has been nearly four months now since Xan left. I think we should go after him." It had taken a lot of nerve to build up to this topic again, but Haley thought it was long overdue. They couldn't wait forever for the assassin to return. What if something had happened to him? Xandrith was incredibly skilled, but he was only human.
The smile fled from Shawl's face in a rush and he sat up straighter in his seat. "I don't think that's such a good idea. It's dangerous out beyond the isle. The plague has spread and the Drayid have moved further south. I've received word from some of my contacts that they're wearing plague masks as far south as Rewolla. No, Xan asked me to look after you, and I think it's best that we stay here." He went to light his pipe again as if the discussion was finished, but Haley wasn't having it.
"Do you really think Xan can save the entire world on his own? He's just one man. He needs his friends. I've been training constantly for months. What is the point in all of this work if I can't use what I've learned to help Xan?" Haley growled, trying to keep the anger burning in the back of her mind at bay. Lately that had been getting more and more difficult.
It was Kassa who spoke up next. "We have nowhere to start looking, Haley. Don't you think I'd want to go help him as well? Things aren't that easy."
Haley turned to face Kassa, that spark of anger flaring to life. "Yes, you should want to help him as well. After what he's done for you, you should be fighting harder than I am to go after him! I don't understand how you can just sit here day after day like nothing is wrong! The world is dying out there and we're not doing anything to help." Kassa looked away, as if unable to meet Haley's angry gaze. Not for the first time, the younger woman had the distinct impression that something was being kept from her.
"You're both cowards!" Haley snapped, regretting the words as they slipped from her lips. She'd let her anger get ahead of her there. She knew that neither of them were actually cowards. They were brave and strong people, but that was what frustrated her the most. Why did they refuse to help Xandrith if they were so capable? Regardless, the wo
rds had come out of her mouth and Haley wasn’t one to abandon her commitments easily, not even when she knew she was wrong. "I'm not going to just sit around here forever, not while he's out there fighting for us!"
Kassa had lowered her face to her hands. She raised her head and Haley thought she caught a glimpse of a tear streaking the woman's face. "You have to tell her, Johndin. You can't keep this secret forever."
Haley's eyes leapt back and forth between the old mage and the woman who'd become her trainer. "What secret? I'm tired of not knowing what's going on." Even as she pushed for answers a sense of trepidation crept over her.
Shawl set down his pipe with a shaky hand. His rosy cheeks had gone pale, and any cheer his herb provided had long since fled his face. "Haley, this isn't easy for me to tell you, but I've kept it from you for your own good. I didn't want you to harbor resentment, and I'd hoped with time it would be easier for you to understand. It's clear to me now that I should have come forward much sooner with this information. Time has not helped you, and your dedication to Xan is admirable." Haley was frozen in her seat and her heart hammered away in her chest as her stomach churned uncomfortably. It was as if she knew what Johndin was going to tell her. Perhaps she had even suspected it on some level.
"Xan did not leave the island the night he brought back Kassa. He was consumed by the mists." The old mage shifted uncomfortably in his chair, looking at his pipe longingly. "I warned him about the mists and the nature of the island at night. At first I hoped that he'd gotten off the island, but I checked the boat I have and it's still in its normal place. Swimming to shore is possible, but there was no evidence that he ever left the clearing. Then there were Kassa's words when we found her. 'Shade walked into shadows.' Xandrith was swept up by the mists of Dreamer's Isle. I hoped for a while that he would return - some people do - but as time went on I knew it wasn't to be. Xandrith is gone, Haley."
Haley sat in stunned silence. She was caught between horror and anguish, but a great wall of rage was welling up deep inside of her too. "That's not even possible." She said quietly as her emotions thrashed out of control inside of her. "Xan couldn't be killed by some stupid mist. You don't know that, Johndin. You can't! You're just guessing!"
Shawl shook his head slowly. "It's more than a guess, I'm afraid. I've used my magic to divine the connections. I know he went into the mist, and it is clear that he never came back out, Haley. I'm sorry child, but Xandrith is gone."
"That's a damned lie!" Haley shouted. "If Xandrith is gone then what have we been doing here all this time? Why would I be wasting my time training while the world is dying out there? Xan is out there right now, trying to save us, and we need to find him and help. You're a liar, Johndin Shawl!" Haley stood up, throwing her chair back with enough force to send it careening off the nearby wall. Johndin had gone quiet. He was looking tired and sad.
A hand touched Haley's shoulder and she jumped. She hadn't even seen Kassa move. "It's not a lie, Haley. After the confusion finally fled, I remembered Xan walking away into the mist and just vanishing. It was the first clear memory I had."
Haley shrugged the hand from her shoulder and stepped away. She didn't like to be touched. She allowed it during training, but Kassa was no friend of hers. Haley didn't want the woman thinking they were close, especially not now. "Did you think I would just forget him? Why have we been wasting all of this time training? What did you hope to achieve?" She wasn't sure who she was talking to, Kassa or Shawl, but someone needed to answer her questions.
"It was my fault." Shawl said quietly. "I'd hoped if we kept you working and training that you might begin to forget about Xan. I just wanted you to find some happiness in your life."
"Xandrith saved me!" Haley spat, her fists balled until her knuckles turned white. "How am I supposed to just forget about him? He's dead and you let me just keep hoping that he would come back. What kind of monsters are you?" Haley began to walk towards the front door. "I'm going after him."
Shawl jumped up from his chair. "You can't!"
Kassa was around the room and blocking the exit in a flash. "Haley, please, going out into the mist isn't going to help Xandrith. It's only going to end with another lost life. Do you think Xan would want you to kill yourself?"
Haley drew her dagger. "Do you think Xan would want me to stay here on this island while the world dies and do nothing? I'm not ready to accept that he's gone. Mist be damned, I don't believe Xan would die so easily. He is stronger than that. He's stronger than either of you know. Now I'm going out there to find him, and you can't stop me."
Kassa stood her ground. "You know that's not true, Haley. I can stop you. Put the knife away and think about what you're doing. You're angry and distraught, and that isn't the best frame of mind in which to make big decisions. Xandrith would have told you the same."
Death will not get us any closer to saving Xan. Haley's inner voice spoke to her as if of its own volition. He must be alive out there somewhere, but we shouldn't rush into the unknown. Not yet. Haley let out a long sigh and returned her knife to its scabbard. Kassa was right, as much as Haley didn't want to admit it. A troubled emotional state was not conducive to making good decisions. Xan wasn't gone. Haley would find him, but she needed to plan.
Kassa looked relieved and maybe a little surprised. "We should talk about this. We can decide what to do next together. You don't need to be alone just because Xan is gone. I miss him too. Every day."
Haley frowned, stifling the desire to cry. She told herself she wouldn't allow that to happen. Xandrith wasn't dead, so there was no reason to cry. He just needed help, and she would find some way to give it to him. "I don't want to talk about any of this. Not yet, anyway. I need to be alone." She told the older woman. Kassa looked hurt for a moment, but she nodded and stepped away from the door, heading back to her seat at the table. There was really nowhere for Haley to go to be alone at night, so she simply slipped into a chair and closed her eyes, finding privacy internally if she couldn't externally. Relax. Everything will be fine. We'll make sense of this all tomorrow. She let out a shaky sigh, so upset that she didn't even notice that those thoughts hadn't originated from her own mind.
If Haley had hoped that morning would bring her more clarity, she was sadly mistaken. She awoke with a start before the sun had even risen with a cold sweat clinging to her body. She'd dreamt that she was chasing Xandrith through a dense fog. When she'd finally been able to catch him it hadn't been him at all, but instead an imposter dressed in his clothing. That's when the dream had gotten really disturbing. The Xan imposter had turned the chase on her. He'd come after her through the fog, his hands with fingers like steel claws chasing her through the void and reaching out to snag her and hold her down. His face had been locked in an evil grin that promised a poisonous lust, and his eyes had been aflame with a will to break and devour her. Haley stood up and shook her head as though the physical act might dispel the remainders of her dream. The fear and the sense of violation still clung to her. She felt a great welling of self-loathing roll through her. Since the murder of her family and her subsequent rape she'd battled with that inner hatred, and sometimes it threatened to consume her. She may have killed the bastard who ruined her life, but the things he'd done to her had left her feeling worthless. She fought every day to rebuild her confidence, but nightmares like the one she'd just had made all the shame at her violation and guilt over having survived when her family had died resurface as though it had only happened a few moments before.
Haley went to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. The drink washed away some of the night's fog, but could do nothing for the heavy weight of shame that still sat upon her shoulders. I'm ruined. Why do I even try? She thought, but she immediately gave a low growl and pushed those negativities away. What would Xan say if he knew she was thinking like that? Xan was gone. Haley took another swallow of her water before heading to the front windows. The barest hint of color was touching the horizon. The sun would be rising soon. Haley
squinted out the window, her eyes trying to find the tree line. For some reason she couldn't make it out at all, and it wasn't purely darkness that cloaked it. A heavy fog had settled into the clearing around Shawl's cabin. That was strange. The morning fog never came beyond the trees, or maybe she'd never been up early enough to notice it before?
As Haley watched, something large and darker than the night moved through the mist away from the cabin. The young woman started, her eyes going wide as she tried desperately to see what had moved with more clarity. There was something in the mists. The events of her nightmare flooded back through her mind and her heart began to beat fiercely in her chest. Could her nightmare have been some kind of portent of things to come? She didn't know, but the thought scared her more than she wanted to admit. She went immediately to Shawl.
