by Hope Ford
Austin sighs and I can tell he still doesn’t fully understand all of it, but at least he’s not walking away from me. I know I’ve hurt him by not coming to him. “I’m glad at least that it’s all in the past for you now. Did Keith give you a hard time over the break-up?”
Austin’s rubbing his thumb across my wrist and I don’t even think he realizes he’s doing it. I pull my hand away because the feelings that one simple touch is causing are messing with my head. I could say it’s because of everything I’m dealing with right now, but deep down I know it’s not that. “Actually, he was sort of weird about it all. He kept saying this is more like a break than a break-up. The last time I saw him, he said he was going to win me back.” I laugh but Austin doesn’t seem to find it funny at all. “I think he thought I’d stay in the city, I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter. I’m back where my roots are, where I’ve wanted to be, and I’m not looking back.”
Austin’s jaw flexes and from the years of knowing him, I know he has more he wants to say, but he keeps it to himself.
He’s searching my face, looking for something. Probably if I really am done with Keith or not. But I don’t know how he can question it, because I would never put up with cheating. When he finally seems like he’s got his answer, he says, “Good. I’m glad to hear it. Now that you’re back are you gonna put your degree to work teaching?”
“There aren’t any openings at the school,” I tell him. I knew coming back here it might take me awhile to get a teaching job. There’s only the one elementary school in town and unless I want to drive the forty minutes each way to the next town, I’ll have to find something else to do until they are hiring. “I did put my application in, though.”
Austin nods, listening intently and asks, “Are you going to look in nearby towns? You’re not going to pick another big city and jet out of here again, are you?”
“No, absolutely not. When I say I’m back, I’m really back. This is where I want to be, and I wish I’d figured that out earlier. I’ve wasted so much time.”
6
Austin
Before I even take a moment to consider what I’m about to say, I offer her a job working at my mechanic shop. “Cindy is just out on maternity leave, and I could use the help while you’re waiting for something to open up.”
My offer comes out without any thought, but I’m surprised when I recognize uncertainty in her eyes. “Do you remember how much fun we had working in my father’s shop together in high school? Now, it’s going to be even better since I’m the boss. Just think, I get to tell you what to do.”
She laughs and her eyes light up. I’m sure she’s remembering all the good times we used to have and the pranks we used to play on the mechanics.
She starts chewing on her bottom lip. It’s a nervous habit that she’s always had. It was once endearing, but now it is a complete turn-on. I find myself imagining kissing her, licking and sucking on that bottom lip she’s punishing.
I drag my eyes away from her mouth when she interrupts my thoughts. “… are you sure it won’t be a conflict of interest? What if my working there turns out to be a problem? I can’t put you in that position.”
Already shaking my head, I tell her, “That’s impossible. You’re not only a hard worker but you’ve always been a damn good influence on me. If you don’t come work for me, you know you’re leaving me hanging, right?”
She captures me in her green-eyed gaze with a sexy smile on her face. “You always were good with the guilt trips, weren’t you? Okay, yes, if you’re sure.”
“Then you’re hired.”
I finally take a bite of the food sitting in front of me. It seems now that I know everything is working out, I can eat again.
We talk about the shop a little bit and she talks about moving back in with her parents. I can tell she doesn’t like the idea and it’s on the very tip of my tongue to offer my spare bedroom to her, but I stop myself. In the past, it would have been nothing. But now, I don’t know. There’s something shifting between us and I don’t want to screw up anything. And moving in together when I haven’t even taken the time to analyze all these thoughts popping in my head, well, she means too much to me for me to chance it.
She changes the subject and asks me about Blair. I shake my head, and just by looking at the smirk on her face, she already knows what I’m thinking.
Uncomfortable with the change in topic, I fidget in my seat. I used to talk about women all the time with Laney. Now, for some reason, it just doesn’t seem right. “Blair is, uh, well we’ve went out a few times, but already she’s getting too…”
“Clingy.” Laney interrupts.
I laugh, rubbing the scruff on my jaw. She knows me too well. “You noticed that?”
“Yeah, she seems to be a little jealous. She probably wouldn’t have been so bad if you had told her I was a woman from the beginning.” She raises her hand to stop me. “And I know, you don’t even have to say it. You weren’t trying to hide me or anything. I mean, I know you’ve thought of me as one of the guys most of our lives, but another woman isn’t going to understand our friendship.”
I want to tell her that none of my thoughts since last night have been about her being like one of the guys or even what best friend thoughts should be. No, my thoughts have been more about how she fills out a pair of jeans, what her lips will taste like and if I do manage to kiss her, am I going to ruin everything?
I swipe my hand across my face, frustrated. But all that does is cause her to reach out and put her hand on my shoulder. Her touch feels like it burns through my shirt. “Hey, it’s no big deal, I’m just giving you a hard time. I’m sure you can make it up to her.”
My eyes flash up to hers. She thinks I’m bothered that Blair was upset last night, but, like the asshole I am, I haven’t even thought another thing about Blair. “I’m not worried about Blair, trust me, she’s using me as much as I’m using her.”
Pain flashes before Laney’s eyes, but before I can even question it, she’s hidden it from me and stands up to gather our plates.
I follow behind her, carrying the silverware and mugs. Her parents are in the living room and we work side by side cleaning up our dishes. She’s so quiet, I can’t help but ask her, “Hey, you okay?”
She flicks some soapy water at me, laughing. “Yes, I’m okay. I told you I was, and I meant it. I’m just glad to be home.”
“Me too,” I tell her. She’s looking up at me, and I see so much in that look. I almost—fuck, I almost lean down to kiss her, but she hits me with another spray of the water. “Hey, I’m out of shirts, Laney Bug, if you get this one wet.”
Her eyes get big and I know she’s thinking back to me shirtless and that connection we had back in the driveway. I have to get out of here before I say or do something stupid. I dry the last plate and stack it up in the cabinet. Luckily, Julia still has everything the same in her kitchen and I know exactly where to put it.
“I have to get to work, but you’ll come in, right? Tomorrow?”
She has the dish towel I just laid down in her hands, wringing it. “Yep, I’ll be there, bright and early.”
I barely nod my head before walking by the living room and thanking Julia for the breakfast and reminding Jerry to bring the Bronco in for me to look at the AC before I bolt out the door. I try to put all thoughts of Laney out of my head, but as I am backing out, I see her watching me from the porch and I’m pretty sure she’s as confused as I am right now. I’m so fucked, I tell myself as I pull out faster than I thought, squealing the tires.
7
Laney
“One thing at a time, pumpkin,” my dad says, looking over my shoulder at the homes for sale section in the paper. “Don’t you need to get work lined up first?”
“Yes, that’s true. Luckily, Austin gave me a job working at the mechanic shop. It’s not teaching, but it’s money coming in, and Keith and I were able to sell the apartment right away so I’ve got that money coming in to help get into a h
ouse.”
He nods his head and settles beside me on the couch. Mom is on the other couch reading, but I can tell she’s paying attention to us because she keeps looking at us over her book. Dad clears his throat and pushes his glasses up his nose. “I heard you got a job working with Austin but thought it was only temporary while the girl on maternity leave is out.”
With a sigh I admit, “That’s true. It’s only temporary.” I was opting to look on the hopeful side and bank on a teaching job turning up by then. My dad has never been the jump and hope sort. He’d build that bridge with his own hands if he had to, but he wasn’t going to jump until he had somewhere safe to land.
After I rushed into the engagement with Keith, it makes me think maybe I should probably err on the side of caution.
My dad gives me a side hug on the couch. “There’s always new homes coming up for sale. No need to rush things. Don’t you like staying in your old room? We sure are glad to have you home.”
We chat about my plans and I promise not to zoom off to the city again, feeling touched when he tells me how much he’s missed getting to see me on a regular basis.
My mom just sits there and nods her head, but I can see she has something to say. She’s been quiet since Austin left this morning, but instead of asking her about it, I leave it be. I know my mom, and she likes to think about things before she comes forth with them. She analyzes every side of a situation before she speaks her piece.
After we wind down for the evening, I go to my room to get ready for bed. My plan is to turn in early, but when I go to lay out what I’ll wear to my first day at the mechanic shop, I can’t decide what to wear.
Finally, I laugh and remind myself that my attraction to Austin can’t be entertained or it will threaten our friendship, which is too important to risk.
I still can’t get over the way he looked when he bolted out of here. I don’t know what is wrong with him, and maybe it’s my own feelings that are clouding my judgment, but I can’t help but wonder what he was thinking. I could have sworn he was about to kiss me at the kitchen sink, and I freaked out. I squirted him with the water, hoping to lighten the mood, but in all reality, all night I’ve wondered what would have happened if I’d let him kiss me. And I don’t mean like I wonder what it would feel like or what would happen next. I beat that to death in high school when I thought for sure I was so in love with him and he was completely clueless. I upped and went away to school, choosing one that was far away, hoping if I put distance between us then I would get over my feelings for him. Hell, I even dated and got engaged, all along knowing I shouldn’t because my heart was someplace else.
Maybe that’s why I wasn’t so hard on Keith. He told me he felt like there was something missing when we were together. Maybe it was just an excuse, to lighten the guilt he felt, but in my heart I knew. I’ve always put Austin in the back of my mind, knowing nothing could ever come of it. But it never truly stopped my heart from hoping.
But even entertaining the thought is ludicrous. No, all I’ve thought about is if he kissed me, I would never want to let him go. There’s no way I could become another notch on his belt, and if anyone knows, I do, Austin doesn’t do relationships. As a matter of fact, he runs from them. I’m pretty sure it’s because his mom left him and his dad when Austin was only little, and he’s never really dealt with it. But of course, I took Psychology 101 and ever since then I’ve tried to analyze everyone, thinking I’ve got it all figured out.
I lay out a pair of jeans and a black v-neck T-shirt for tomorrow. There’s no sense in dressing up, knowing that I’ll probably come home with grease on me every day. I lie down on the bed and pull the blankets up and stare at the ceiling.
Maybe this is a bad idea. When I considered coming home, I honestly thought I could handle it. But after seeing him with Blair and spending time with him today, all my old feelings have resurfaced. Am I strong enough to do this? And now I’ve added working with him to the mix. I’m either crazy or a glutton for punishment.
You only have to work there until Cindy gets back from maternity leave, I tell myself. Surely I can handle a few weeks. But even as I consider it, my mind goes to the image of Austin’s shirtless chest and how looking at him made me feel. I’m screwed. I groan and clench my eyes tight, trying to get that thought out of my head.
8
Austin
I’ve always liked getting my hands dirty, working with engines and cars, but I can’t remember the last time I was so looking forward to getting into work.
I tell myself that it’s because I missed my best friend, that’s what’s got me charged up and early to the shop. Okay, fine, there’s a definite spark there, but it’s probably just because Laney is a beautiful woman as well as an amazing person. I’d have to be dead not to feel some attraction to her. It isn’t a deal-breaking problem because all I have to do is keep my attraction in check. Time will help it fade, and pretty soon we’ll be comfortable and easygoing around each other once more.
The shop is close enough to walk, but I decide to drive one of the motorcycles I fixed up to show Laney. I’ve mentioned the bike to her a few times, and it is likely she’ll be pleased more with the bike than the sleeper car I’ve been soupin’ up all year. The sleeper car looks like a sedan but has the guts of something very powerful inside. It sort of reminds me of an unmarked police car. But the bike is a classic, and I know she’s going to love it.
I park my bike in front of the garage so I can unlock the doors. As I’m opening the locks on the garage doors, I hear an engine lulling in the street and look over my shoulder toward the road.
Blair is sitting behind the wheel of her red Miata convertible looking like she’s still pouting about how things ended up between us when I broke it off with her yesterday. I really don’t want the drama she brings with her everywhere she goes, so I proceed to finish unlocking the shop.
“Not even gonna say hi?” Blair asks me.
“Hi, Blair. Have a good day, all right?” I say, motioning for to continue on her way. She starts to scowl at me but then changes her mind and gives me a bright smile. “See you later, honey,” she calls and drives away.
I just shake my head, wondering what I was thinking of getting mixed up with that ten tons of crazy.
I walk my bike into the garage as Laney pulls into the parking lot along the side of the shop.
Ah, Laney’s here, that explains Blair’s sudden mood change. Women are fuckin’ crazy.
“Hey, is that the motorcycle you were telling me about? You didn’t tell me you got it running!” Laney says as she enters the garage a few minutes later. I can’t help smiling. Laney isn’t a gearhead like I am, but somehow, she still manages to get how important my rebuilds are to me.
I show her the bike and she’s impressed when I point out the modifications I made.
Some of the other mechanics that work for me show up as I’m showing her the bike. I was just about to tell her that I’d like to take her for a ride sometime, but the guys showing up keeps me from getting that chance.
Greg and Owen walk in, looking between Laney and me with surprised expressions. “You opened the shop?” Greg asks.
I shake my head. “Yeah, I did.” Usually Greg or Owen opens up since I’m known to stay well past closing.
I introduce the mechanics to Laney and her to them, but I keep the introduction brief because Owen is checking out Laney like she’s something he’s planning to eat.
I pull her away from Greg and Owen and show her to the front office. “If any of the guys give you a hard time just let me know. Mike and Rod are the two apprentices. That’s everybody besides Cindy, but she’s on maternity leave, like I said.”
Laney’s sexy smile makes my pulse speed up and I wonder if she can tell how nervous I am around her.
She sets her purse down and folds her hands in front of her. The action pushes her breasts together, and I can see the hint of her cleavage at the “v” of her shirt. “I’ll let you know if there’s s
omething I can’t handle, but I’m sure there won’t be. I worked here before, remember? I’m excited to see the update in the computer system you implemented when you took over.”
“Yeah, let me show you,” I tell her, walking over to the computer.
Laney
Austin wasn’t exaggerating when he said business was good. After the brief training he gave me on the computer program, he scribbled down Cindy’s number on the notepad in case there was something that came up he didn’t cover that I may need help with.
Customers started showing up while he was giving me the training. In fact, I can’t help noticing that the majority of them are women. Maybe that’s because men prefer to work on their own cars? But I’m guessing that probably it’s because Austin is easy on the eyes and his smile is so contagious that customers continue to smile even when they’ve been given their bill.
Luckily, the computer system is pretty straightforward and makes billing and scheduling much easier than it was back when I worked here in high school.
Sandrine, a woman I knew in high school, comes in just after two o’clock. She has a lot of questions and no matter how many times I try to steer the conversation away from how it feels working with Austin again to scheduling a car service, she can’t seem to spit out what it is she’s come for.
She keeps looking through the windows in the office that give a view of the garage, so finally I ask her if she’s here to speak to one of the mechanics.
She blushes. “I don’t want to interrupt Austin while he’s working. Can I have a piece of paper?”
