by S.M. Winter
quickly. “I was using the figure of speech, not the literal one. My mother didn’t beat me.”
“Ah,” Valerie’s face pinkened as she breathed deep and she sat back, picking at her food.
“So why are you here?” Alexandar asked into the awkward silence.
This somehow achieved a higher sense of tension than I had thought possible.
“Alexandar...” Chauncy chided.
“What?” He asked indignantly. “You all have shared yours with her, maybe it’s time she shared her life and death story.”
“It’s alright,” I said to calm the tension that seemed to be crackling across the table.
“You don’t have to share it until you’re ready,” Valerie said with an encouraging smile.
“It’s alright,” I repeated. “My story isn’t as painful as what’s been shared with me so far.”
Chauncy settled back into his chair with a final glare at Alexandar, which he returned easily as it seemed to be his homeostasis.
“My sister died,” though it happened what seemed like a lifetime ago, my face crumpled and it suddenly became hard to breathe. Just the reminder that Samantha was not part of this world anymore was shattering. It hurt, but it hurt a little less each day. When I regained control of my emotions again I wiped my nose and continued.
“She was the only friend I’d ever had,” I blew my nose with a tissue Valerie handed me. “My mother wasn’t abusive in the sense that she hit me, but she never truly accepted me. No matter what I did, for whatever reason, she couldn’t love me. But she loved my sister. I envied that. My sister never rubbed it in my face, she consoled me the best way she knew how. We were extremely close. I’ve never been able to make friends easily, so she was my sole comfort when I needed to speak with someone or just to have any sort of human contact. My father was absent, so he either didn’t notice or didn’t care. When she died it felt like my entire life had been torn apart. I stood near a busy street corner during rush hour and I thought about just falling into traffic. But I didn’t. I chose to keep living.”
“There are many types of abuse,” Valerie said. “Yours may have not been physical, but the wounds are just as real. And the loss of your sister is never something to be taken lightly, especially if you two were as close as you say.”
I looked over at Alexandar who seemed uncomfortable.
“Some say the Elements choose you at your worst moment in life,” Chauncy said looking at Alexandar. “At the point when you prove your loyalty to life.”
“That’s not always true though,” Alexandar said darkly as he stood. “Sometimes you have worse moments, unthinkable pain and torment after you’re chosen.”
I watched as he left the room, leaving his plate untouched.
“He lost someone very close to him,” Valerie said. “He’s still trying to cope.”
“Oh,” I said.
“Maybe you should go after him,” Chauncy suggested with a grin.
“I’m not sure if I’m the right person to comfort him right now,” I said into my plate.
“He’s going topside,” Chauncy said. “You need to see it anyway.”
Nodding, I stood as Chauncy gave me directions to the hatch. The tunnels were more cavernous in some places and the main hallway always seemed to shift to the right, giving the impression that it was a giant ring. Finally in a particularly large room with four different sized thrones, I found a ladder that went up. I heard a clank and an odd howling sound echo down, though I couldn’t see the end. It confirmed that Alexandar had gone this way, so I followed.
I climbed and climbed. I climbed until my muscles began shaking and I was so far off the ground I was a little afraid I would get stuck. In response to my fear, I felt the air stir around me like a warm encouraging caress. It pushed me to keep moving, and finally I found the hatch. It was round and metal, similar to what I’d seen on submarines. Since it was unlocked I didn’t have to turn the large wheel, so I just pushed it open. Immediately the wind whipped at my hair as I climbed out. It felt like a wind tunnel. Oddly though, as soon as I was standing on the ground the air seemed to move around rather than against me. Excitement seemed to dance around me in near visible waves. I turned to muscle the hatch but it closed without much effort. This wind explained the howling I’d heard.
I saw Alexandar stomping toward me. He seemed to be saying something but I couldn’t hear him over the roar of wind. As I wished for the wind to die down so I could hear him, it did. The wild current of air ceased. I looked around and saw that there was a circular bubble of calm surrounding us. There was a mountain directly across from us and surrounding it were trees and shrubs similar to the garden I’d seen in the music room with Alexandar. Everything was green and lovingly tended. The plants grew and flourished.
“Why are you here?” His yell broke the cone of silence.
“Is this my power?” I wondered aloud.
“I repeat,” he said. “What. Are you. Doing here?”
He punctuated his sentence with pauses, I would assume to convey a sense of intense frustration. I wasn’t sure how to approach him so I just started with honesty.
“Chauncy said it might be a good idea for me to see the roof,” I said. Ok, half honesty.
“Of course he did,” Alexandar threw up his hands and turned away from me.
It was starting to feel really hot in this bubble, I was starting to sweat.
“Can you tell me your story?” I asked.
“No,” he said. “Not right now.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because I’m still living it,” he snapped.
“Ok,” I said. “Then can you teach me what you were planning to the other day?”
Sweat was really starting to drip down my face and back. I was starting to feel weak and drawn.
“Fine,” he said hunching his shoulder.
Turning around he looked at me again and immediately a look of concern entered his face.
“What is wrong with you?” he asked, striding forward. He grabbed my arms as I collapsed. “Release your element, stupid.”
“I don’t know what that means,” I stated wearily. My words slurred as if I’d drunk a glass of wine too quickly before eating.
“Stop asking it to create this bubble,” he shook me.
“I still don’t understand,” my eyes were getting heavy.
With a growl, he threw me over his shoulder and ran into the torrent of wind and under the cover of a nearby cave. Almost immediately my strength returned and I gasped for breath. My muscles shook as if I’d worked every single muscle in my body rigorously. It took a long time before the spasms in my body stopped. He sat on the ground and cradled me while I attempted to pull myself together.
“What was that?” I asked once I was steady again.
“That was you being stupid,” he said.
“Ok,” I waited for him to be more forthcoming. When he wasn’t I asked. “Can you be clearer on how?”
“You asked your element to work against itself,” he said. “That takes a lot of energy from you in return.”
“I did no such thing,” I tried to rise and fell back into his lap shuddering.
“You could have died,” he said very quietly.
“What?” Shocked, I looked up at him.
The small amount of light that was provided from the exterior showed the planes and angles of his face. He leaned back against the cave wall with his eyes closed, breathing heavily.
“What’s your element?” I asked curious.
“Earth,” he said without opening his eyes.
“How do you work against your element and make it take energy?” I asked.
“You ask it to work against itself,” he said. “Like changing the natural flow of a river, or tides. Forcing a volcanic eruption to stop. Creating a massive earthquake or telling the wind not to blow.”
“Working against nature itself,” I said.
He nodded and looked down at me.
“You c
ould have died,” he repeated, more forcefully.
“Well it’s not like I’ve had a teacher so far,” I said grumpily. “You all have kind of had me figuring it all out for myself.”
“You don’t think it’s real,” he said, his face forming stony lines. “So what do you care?”
Alexandar stood, dumping me unceremoniously on my butt.
“Oof,” I rubbed my rear end and wobbly got to my feet.
“How can I convince you that this is real?” He asked. “What can I do?”
Before I could answer, he stepped forward and kissed me. Electricity felt like it shot from my fingers and toes. I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him closer. He pushed me against the wall and ran his hands up and down my back lighting little fires wherever they touched. My heartbeat thudded against my ribs, threatening to break out of my chest.
Alexandar pressed against me and a noise I could only describe as a purr escaped me at the pressure. Waves and waves of pleasure were crashing against me. I’d never felt anything like this before. How could this be in my mind? The thought had me freezing and pulling away. He stopped his onslaught with what seemed like thinly chained restraint. He was breathing just as heavily as I was and let me slide to the ground. I pulled my legs to my chest and began to rock.
“What?” he said between gasps. “What?”
He tried to touch me again, but I recoiled.
“Tabitha,” he said my name like a whisper. “What did I do?”
“You made me believe,” I said. Tears cascaded down my cheeks.
“It was that easy?” Alexandar seemed to scoff.
“Yes,” I said. “It’s not that hard when you’ve never been loved before.”
“What
