by Julie Cannon
“Hello, Caroline. You’re looking well.”
Caroline’s mouth opened and closed twice before anything came out. “Hello, Shannon. I expected to see you this week. How are you?” Caroline shifted her weight and took a sip of her drink.
The voice was slightly huskier than she remembered, but Shannon would know it anywhere. Especially in the dark. “I’m fine, thanks.” Her brain stopped working and Shannon’s ability for witty small talk went with it. She had no idea what she wanted to say to Caroline. Ultimately, she knew they would see each other this week, or the next, or the one after that. She had not thought that they wouldn’t have to say something to each other, but now that it was here, she was speechless. By the look on Caroline’s face, she was as well.
Shannon felt her feet move, and before she knew it, she was standing beside Caroline looking into the dark Montreal sky. The stars winked at her as if to say they knew she had the prettiest woman at the party.
“You’re riding for TKS.” Caroline broke the silence.
“Yes, I guess you could say they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.” TKS was the world’s leading manufacturer of bicycle frames and their sponsorship was coveted. They treated their riders like gold and paid them almost as much.
“So I hear,” Caroline replied with a lightness in her voice that Shannon hadn’t expected. “Your picture is everywhere.”
“Yeah, well,” Shannon stammered. “You know how it is.” She liked being the center of attention but felt uncomfortable about it now.
“Yeah.” Caroline had sponsors and knew the drill.
“How’s the leg?” Shannon asked looking at the bare leg not far from hers.
“Better than new.”
The clenching in her gut reminded Shannon of how she felt when she found out Caroline had taken a nasty fall eighteen months ago. At twenty-nine, Shannon hadn’t been sick a day in her life other than the occasional mild cold or flu. By the grace of God, or just sheer luck, she had managed to avoid serious injury during the ten years and thousands of miles of mountain bike riding she had under her belt. Actually, under her butt was a more fitting description, but it was the same nonetheless.
“I was sorry to hear about it.” Shannon cringed at her useless words. A fellow rider had called to tell her about Caroline’s accident assuming she would be thrilled that her major competitor would be out of the running for quite some time and said as much. Shannon had jumped down the messenger’s throat for gloating over something that was very serious. She hadn’t heard much about Caroline’s recovery, and other than the fading scar that snaked down the outside of her right leg, Caroline seemed to be as fine as she had said.
Caroline laughed. “You should have heard it on my end.”
Shannon’s heart skidded to a stop at the sound of the rich laughter. Memories flooded her brain and her body and she was suddenly very hot.
“Must have hurt like hell.” Shannon shuddered.
Caroline smiled at the simple statement and it was her turn to shudder at the memories and she had plenty of them. “Only when I was awake. Which was all the time because it hurt like hell,” she added. “But I’m ready for Brodale.”
Caroline had done her research on the mountain she was bound and determined to conquer. Ski Brodale had set up three new courses on the Versant du Lac site specifically for the event. The material she read said the downhill course was filled with rocky outcroppings, wooded sections, and abrupt descents. The material went on to say that “many tight corners, jumps, and other obstacles will follow one another to create a course with a difficulty level that even the hardiest downhill kamikazes can scarcely imagine.” She had competed in several smaller races leading up to the championship series to dust off the cobwebs and get back in the groove of being in the saddle, but she wanted this win, her first big race after her first big injury.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Shannon said quietly.
Caroline turned to face her. Shannon had aged gracefully and where once a gangly teenager stood was now an accomplished, successful woman. Her hair was in its usual style of disarray, the familiar liquid blue eyes were clear and focused directly on her. What could Shannon ever be sorry for? Sorry to hear about my fall? Sorry that we’ll be competing against each other? Sorry that you ran out on me, left me standing all alone on that warm afternoon so many years ago?
Finishing her drink, Caroline pushed those thoughts out of her mind. It was over ten years ago, for crying out loud. They were teenagers. Stupid, impulsive teenagers whose recklessness caught up with them one warm spring day. Silence filled the air between them.
“I have to get back inside.” Caroline used her glass to indicate the party going full force on the other side of the doors. “People to see, hands to shake, elbows to rub. You know.” She ended using the same phrase Shannon had a few moments ago. “It was good to see you again, Shannon. Good luck this week.”
And before she could say something she might regret later, Caroline opened the doors and walked through leaving that part of her life behind—again.
*
“Where’re ya going, baby?”
The question grated on Shannon’s last nerve. It wasn’t so much what was asked but the fact that it was asked at all. Shannon bit back a caustic reply. What she really wanted to say was, “This was just a fuck. We fucked. It’s over. I’m leaving. Simple, simple, simple. It’s not rocket science.” But she didn’t. It wasn’t… Shit, she didn’t even know the woman’s name. It wasn’t her fault she was in such a crappy mood. When Caroline left her on the patio earlier tonight, a rage came over her like she had never experienced. She was so angry with herself for letting Caroline get to her. The fact that she had no idea she still had feelings for her was one thing, but to let her get under her smooth finish was something that would never happen again.
“I’m going back to my hotel,” she answered pulling on her shorts and looking around the dark room for her shirt. She found it on the other side of the room by the door. She slipped her sandals on and forced herself not to run across the room, grab her shirt, and jet out the door. More calm than she felt, Shannon buttoned her shirt and when she was at the halfway point, reached for the doorknob. “Thanks, take care,” she mumbled on her way out the door.
The hall was brightly lit in direct contrast to the blackness she felt swim over her. Rarely had she felt slimy and cheap after leaving a woman’s bed, but it was all over her now. She had used that woman to get over her feelings for Caroline, and her conscience was creeping up on her. She never used one woman to get over another. Well, maybe used wasn’t an accurate word. She had slept with a few women to exorcise a demon or two from inside her, but it was always a mutually pleasurable event. But not this time. She was rough, straight to the point, and maybe a little bit mean. The woman didn’t seem to mind; she actually preferred it. But it did nothing for Shannon. She was dry as a bone and could barely finish what she had started.
After Caroline had left, she had returned to the party with a chip on her shoulder and an attitude that said “take me as I am or go fuck yourself.” Her sponsors loved it. They had hired her reputation of an almost bad girl who just happened to be the best biker in the world. The fact that she had the body to back up that attitude was a significant bonus.
The woman had caught her eye while Shannon was ordering her fourth Crown and Coke. It was taking more and more alcohol lately to be interested, and on more than one occasion had crossed the fine line between just enough and too much. The bartender was pouring the drinks strong, and between an empty stomach and seeing Caroline again, she was definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol. She and the woman had barely spoken before Shannon was dragging her to the elevator and up to her room. Shannon preferred to go to the woman’s place when she had sex, enabling her to leave when she wanted to. She wasn’t very good with tactfully telling her sex partner to go.
Dawn was breaking when Shannon pushed the revolving door and stepped outside. The ai
r was heavy and it felt like rain. Great, just what she needed, to slog through the rain on her practice runs with a whiskey and woman hangover. How did she get here? One minute she was sipping champagne and making nice with sponsors, the next she was making a dash for the nearest exit. For heaven’s sake, it wasn’t like she’d never run into an ex before. They were scattered all over the U.S., more than a few around the world.
What was it about Caroline that continued to rub at her? They were together when they were teenagers. When they didn’t know any better. Shit, when they didn’t know anything about life and how to get through it. It was a childhood thing. So why did it creep up on her at the most inopportune times and fuck her up so much?
Shannon stopped at the first place that served coffee and bought the largest serving they had. She took her coffee black and strong and this brew was perfect. She walked out of the cool shop sipping her hot beverage, confused over her body’s reaction to Caroline. Again and again, the memory of their last time together was the freshest, sweetest, and the most painful.
It was a hot day similar to what she expected today was going to be. She was in Caroline’s room at MHA; they were studying for their calculus exam the next day. It was four weeks before graduation and Caroline needed to pass this test and the final. Like most things, school came easily for Shannon, especially math and the sciences, but Caroline had struggled from the first crack of the thick math book.
Caroline worked hard and studied even harder to understand the complicated methods, statistics, and ridiculous formulas. She memorized, developed her own form of remembering symbols, and was still eking her way to a passing grade—barely.
They had been at it for several hours when Shannon sensed she was being watched. Her suspicions were confirmed when she glanced up and found Caroline looking at her. She recognized that look. It was the one that set her heart to race, her blood to pound, and her clit to throb.
“What are you doing?” she asked, knowing full well what the answer was going to be.
“Nothing,” was the answer.
“Why do I not believe you?” Caroline’s eyes sparked with challenge at her follow-up question.
“Whatever do you mean?” Her voice was thick and smooth.
Caroline didn’t move any closer, but it suddenly felt warmer in the room and Shannon’s throat was dry.
“You should be studying.” Shannon’s protest was weak.
“I am.” Caroline licked her lips.
Shannon suddenly found it hard to breathe. Caroline was looking at her as if she were memorizing every contour of her body. Her eyes moved up and down her with agonizing slowness over those parts that were hidden under her clothes. Her nipples tightened when Caroline lingered on her chest, and Shannon could have sworn they traced the MHA letters on her shirt.
“You’re not going to pass if you don’t pay attention to what you’re doing.”
Caroline’s sweet, sexy smile slid over her very kissable mouth. “Speaking of paying attention,” she said, making sure Shannon knew she was referring to her erect nipples.
“Caroline.” Shannon tried to sound scolding, but it came out more of a plea than a command.
“Yes?” was the sweet reply.
“Stop,” was her equally pathetic reply.
“Is that what you really want? Do you want me to stop looking at you? Stop caressing your body in my mind? Stop remembering how soft your skin is, how strong your legs are when they’re wrapped around me? How good you taste? Do you want me to stop making love to you in my head?”
Caroline paused. Shannon knew she should say yes. Caroline needed her to be strong and help her focus, but she was only seventeen, for crying out loud. Her libido and insatiable lust for the girl sitting across the room from her ruled her life.
“Yes.”
Caroline raised her eyebrows in obvious surprise. “Yes?”
“Yes. I want you to stop caressing me in your mind, stop remembering how soft my skin is, how strong my legs are when they’re wrapped around you, and how good I taste. I want you to stop making love to me in your head and get over here and do it to me.” Shannon was so turned on she could hardly stand it. It only took a look from Caroline to set her off, but to hear her say what was on her mind took her to another world entirely.
With excruciating deliberateness, Caroline closed the distance between them. Their rooms were small so it wasn’t far, but it seemed like an eternity until Caroline covered her lips with hers.
Caroline had an amazing mouth and often times kissed Shannon until she was completely senseless. This kiss was soft and tender, hesitating between light nibbles and nips on her lips. No part of their body was touching except their mouths and Shannon’s body was on fire as much as if Caroline had her hands all over it.
Shannon couldn’t stand it any longer and pulled Caroline onto her lap. The familiar weight of her was comforting, and every time they came together she was amazed how perfectly their bodies fit together.
Soft, exploring, arousing kisses turned to hard, heated passion and Shannon couldn’t get Caroline’s clothes off fast enough. The need to feel Caroline’s skin on hers was unbearable. Giving up, she simply pushed Caroline’s shirt up and latched her mouth to exposed breasts.
Caroline grabbed her head and pulled her closer and moaned when she took her nipple into her mouth. “Yes,” she said on the trailing end of a sigh. Shannon gave the other breast equal attention and soon Caroline was arching her hips in the universal signal for touch.
Shannon slipped her hand into the waistband of her shorts and down the familiar path to the warmth that awaited her. It was her turn to moan this time when her fingers easily slid into the waiting flesh. Caroline was an exquisite lover, wet and inviting, always ready for her. She rocked against the pressure of Shannon’s hand and Shannon almost lost control.
It drove Shannon crazy when Caroline took control of her own pleasure. There was just something about the way she moved, seeking the pressure she wanted, the touch she desired, the release she needed that often took Shannon over the edge. This time was no different and when she felt Caroline’s clit grow hard and start to twitch under her fingers she pulled her tighter. Caroline rocked and bucked against her as her fingers worked their magic for both of them.
Caroline straddled her lap, arms wrapped around her neck, her back to the door. Shannon’s mouth feasted on Caroline’s breasts and they both were completely oblivious to the audience standing in the now open doorway as they came together.
A gasp that was not theirs caused Caroline to raise her head. Shannon felt the movement, but it was the sudden freezing of the body on top of her that got her attention. She released Caroline’s nipple and blinked several times to regain her focus. When Caroline still had not moved, Shannon turned her head to see what had her attention. With her fingers still deep inside Caroline and her breathing ragged, she looked into the stern eyes of the Dean of Mount Holyfield Academy. Standing next to her was Caroline’s father, his face beet red with rage.
*
The scene was every lesbian’s nightmare. Between the shouting, recriminations, shock, embarrassment, anger, and a good dose of absolute terror, Caroline and Shannon were somehow able to pull themselves together, straighten their clothes, and stand to face the two people that were now judge and jury. And judge them they did.
“Get out,” were the only words Caroline’s father said. His tone was quiet and menacing with barely controlled furor.
“Mr. Davis, I can explain—” Shannon began.
“I don’t need an explanation, young lady. I saw what was going on. What you were doing to my daughter.”
“Daddy, Shannon was—”
“I know what Shannon was doing,” he snapped.
Shannon stepped forward trying to make her point. “Mr. Davis, I—”
Steven Davis stepped forward until they were almost nose-to-nose. Shannon was either too stupid or too brave to back away.
“You had your hands on my daughter.
Your filthy hands were—”
“Daddy, stop it,” Caroline shouted cutting through the tension hanging in the air. “Shannon wasn’t doing anything to me that I didn’t want her to. This isn’t the way I wanted you to find out, but this is who I am. I’m a lesbian and I was a lesbian long before Shannon came into my life.”
“Get her out of here before I kill her,” Davis said to no one specific. It was Dean Phillips who jumped at the command.
“Ms. Roberts, go to your room and wait for me.” Her tone was as frightening in its simplicity as Caroline’s father’s had been.
The next few days were a complete blur for Shannon. Her roommate was reassigned, she was forbidden to leave her room, and her parents were called. She was allowed to take her final exams in the library away from the other students and as soon as she was finished, forced to leave the campus. She had not been allowed to see or speak with Caroline before she left.
She tried to stand up for Caroline but couldn’t. Didn’t she need to defend Caroline? It wasn’t Caroline’s fault. Shannon had started it all the day in the locker room. God, that seemed like a lifetime ago.
Her parents shipped her off to Switzerland for the summer with strict instructions to not contact Caroline. They were not quite as shocked as Steven Davis, but then again they didn’t walk in and see another girl’s fingers up their daughter’s snatch.
She tried to call Caroline several times, but the line was always picked up by her parents. Mutual friends passed on information, and once or twice Shannon was able to get through but only to Caroline’s voicemail. They talked once or twice, but it was awkward. They never regained the natural ease they had with each other before her father walked in. Shannon did what she thought was best and left her alone. That was ten years, ten months, and a few odd days ago. But it seemed like yesterday.
