by Lane Hart
“But you want to fuck her?” he asks what’s likely the stupidest question of the century.
“Hell yes,” I answer honestly. “You don’t have any idea how fucking hard it was to sleep with her fine ass pressed against my dick for years and only two thin layers of clothing between us.”
“Forget Robbie,” Knox says around the last bite of pizza crust he shoves into his mouth. After he swallows, he adds, “Ivan and I won’t tell him shit. Just explain all that to Gabby.”
“Again, I can’t,” I grumble. “It’s more complicated than that. If I tell Gabby her brother has shit on me, she’ll insist on knowing what it is. I know her, and she’ll never let it go.”
“And you don’t want her to know what it is?”
“She can never find out,” I reply.
“It’s so bad that you would rather she keep on hating you and refuse to come live with us?” he asks.
“Yes. Although I’m hoping she caves on living here because it’s her only option,” I admit. Shoving my fingers through my hair, I try to think about what I’ll do if Gabby refuses, and decide that I just can’t let that happen.
On her birthday, I’ll go to the house and carry her back here over my shoulder if I have to, anything to get her back in my life.
Gabby doesn’t know it yet, but she’s about to enter our world when she starts working for Mario. She has no idea how bad shit can get. Even if she may hate me, I plan to keep an eye on her and make sure no one lays a hand on her.
Especially me.
Chapter Sixteen
Gabby
“Hey,” Cain says from my doorway Thursday night, nearly scaring the piss out of me.
When I look up from my packing and see his wide shoulders taking up the entire doorframe, I can’t believe that he’s actually here, in my room. He’s bigger, definitely broader than he was a few months ago, and his biceps, revealed fully thanks to his black wife beater, are twice the size I remember, both covered in new dark ink down to his wrists.
“Happy birthday,” he says, holding out a long-stemmed red rose in offering to me. And what a contrast it is to see the soft flower in the hand of someone so big and tough. His dark eyes, nearly obscured by the thick chestnut curls on his forehead, seem hesitant and nervous, but also angry.
Which reminds me that I’m angry too.
“Thanks, but my birthday’s not for a few more hours,” I remind him, as I force myself to turn away. God, he’s even hotter than I remember, and I fucking hate that. Pushing my now shoulder length blonde hair behind my ear, I get back to packing, rolling up my next outfit tightly to save space.
“I know when your birthday is,” Cain grumbles. “Now take the damn flower!”
It’s been more than six months since he’s spoken to me after I walked in on the whore in his bed, and now all of a sudden he shows up with a sweet gesture?
Blowing out a breath of frustration and annoyance at that painful memory, I reluctantly reach out and take the rose from him to inhale the scent before I ask, “What are you doing here?” To be completely honest, I’ve missed waking up to this sweet smell, and I’ve been a complete mess without my best friend.
“I came by tonight to spring you, angel. It’s close enough to your big day,” he says. The familiar term of endearment causes a shiver to run down my spine.
“No shit, Sherlock,” I mutter as I do my best to shake off the nostalgia. “That’s why I’m getting the hell out of here tonight.”
“You’re moving in with us, right? Like we talked about?” he replies quickly as if he can’t imagine why I wouldn’t want to live with him.
“Cain, are you kidding me? You disappeared and ignored me for months after screwing some stripper. Now you suddenly decide to sneak in my room to whisk me away to live with you?”
“Yeah, come on and let me show you your present. Are your things packed?” he asks.
“I’m not staying with you,” I tell him.
“Then where the hell are you going?” he asks, crossing his arms over his wide, swollen chest.
“I’m leaving town –” I start, and he explodes.
“The fuck you are!” Cain yells, making me jump. Lunging forward, he grabs up some of the clothes neatly piled on the bed and starts cramming them into my backpack.
“Stop! It won’t fit like that!” I tell him when I try to pull the bag from his grip, but he doesn’t let go.
Jerking the backpack out of my grasp, he glares down at me because he’s got nearly a foot of height on me. “You’re not leaving town. I wish you could, but you can’t, Gabby.”
“Fuck you,” I reply after he says he wishes I was gone.
“You have to go work for Mario, but only as a waitress. No one will touch you,” he informs me.
“Bullshit,” I mutter, shuddering at the reminder of Mario and his offer. “That jerk started to whip his dick out in front of my face when I went to ask him about a job.”
“He what?” Cain roars, tossing my bag to the floor.
“I didn’t know where I was gonna go tomorrow, so I went to talk to him a few days ago.”
“And?” he asks impatiently, barely containing the anger I can feel radiating off of him in waves.
“Mario said I could live with him. For a price…”
“Fuck that!” Cain shouts. “You’re not staying with him!”
“I know that,” I grumble like he’s an idiot for even thinking I would do something so vulgar. “That’s why I’m leaving, going back to Columbia.”
“No,” Cain disagrees. “Don’t do anything crazy like try to run from Mario. Unless you get a new identity and leave the country, he will find you; and then he’ll hurt you. Besides, you don’t even have any money,” he points out.
“Robbie might go with me if I ask him,” I argue.
“No, he won’t. Just move in with me and the guys. You won’t have to fuck anyone or pay us rent.” When I don’t respond, he says, “I’m not taking no for an answer, so finish packing your shit and let’s go.”
“I can’t do that, Cain!” I yell at him, tears stinging my eyes. “You know how I feel about you, and after what happened, walking in on you…that hurt too much. There’s no way I can deal with that every single day.”
“Gabby, I’m so damn sorry you had to see that,” he tells me on an exhale. Stabbing his fingers through his hair to brush it out of his dark eyes, he says, “I never meant for that to happen, and I promise you that there won’t be any other girls in my bedroom or the apartment, not even on fight nights.”
He promises girls won’t be in his room, but that doesn’t mean he won’t be with them somewhere else.
The jackass doesn’t understand that it’s not just seeing him with someone else that’s the problem. My hang-up is that he doesn’t feel the same way about me and never will. How can I go back to living in the same house as him, loving him, knowing I’ll never have him?
“That’s not why I can’t stay with you,” I tell him.
“Then why?” he asks. “Whatever it is, just tell me, and we’ll figure this shit out.”
“You don’t want me.”
“Yes, I do,” Cain argues. “I want you to come live with us. Ivan and Knox do too.”
“That’s not what I mean!” I exclaim, turning my back to him before he can see the tears fall.
“So tell me what you mean, Gabby,” he says. “I’m not a mind reader.”
Trying to figure out how to explain it to him, I ask, “Will you sleep with me?”
“No.” His instantaneous response hurts even more than I expected, but he’s not finished giving me an explanation.
“Why not?” I ask. “Because you’re not attracted to me that way? Because you think I’m still a little girl? What is it, Cain? Just be honest with me!”
He’s silent for a moment before I finally get an answer.
“Because if I climb into bed with you again, I’ll end up inside of you within seconds!”
A harsh gasp of surprise
parts my lips as his confession sinks in. I can’t believe he said that he would…that we would…
“I-I want you…inside of me.” A blush spreads across my cheeks at my admission, but I don’t care. After years of telling me he only sees me as a friend or even a sister, Cain’s finally admitting that he wants to have sex with me. And I’m not gonna let it go without more answers.
“Goddamn it, Gabby, don’t say shit like that to me,” Cain grumbles, scrubbing his palm down his face. “I can’t fuck when I’m training for a fight. That shit will make me weak, and I can’t afford to lose.”
“Oh,” I mutter. “So, that’s the only reason?” I ask.
“That’s the biggest,” he answers. Once the words leave his mouth, a small, extremely rare grin pulls up the corners of his lips, showing off his adorable dimples before he gestures to his crotch. “Literally.”
God, I remember just how big he was pressed against my ass most mornings, not that I have anything to compare it to. And that reminds me…
“What about when you lived here?” I ask. “You never…”
“When I lived here, I wasn’t training for a fight, so I could jerk off every morning.”
“You really did that every morning?” I ask, my eyes going wide in surprise at his admission.
“And some nights,” he replies. “It was either that or lose my damn mind.”
“Oh,” I reply, inwardly pleased to hear that he had to touch himself because he was so worked up.
“If I had to sleep with you now without any type of relief, I would go fucking insane.”
I want to be the one who gives him relief. And if what Cain’s saying is true, it won’t take much to get him to cross that line if we’re living together.
“I’ll come stay with you,” I finally tell him.
“You will?” he asks with his eyebrows raised.
“But only if you’ll sleep with me.”
…
Cain
Son of a motherfucking bitch.
Of all the things she could have demanded before agreeing to come live with us, it’s the one thing that I would kill to do but fucking can’t.
And why the hell did I just admit to her the effect she’s had on my cock from the day I met her?
“Gabby, no. Did you not hear anything I just said?” I huff in frustration, bracing my hands on my hips.
“Yeah, I did,” she replies. “And if you want me to stay with you so bad, then you’ll…deal with the inconvenience.”
“Inconvenience,” I mutter while reaching up to rub my forehead that’s threatening to explode. “You have no fucking idea how much it hurts when we get hard and don’t come.”
“Maybe I do,” she argues. I know what she’s implying, and while it’s hot as fuck to think about her being turned on, whatever she feels can’t be nearly as painful as the ache I have for her.
“I’m not gonna touch you. I can’t, Gabby,” I tell her flat out.
“Fine, but if you won’t touch me, I guess I’ll have to find someone who will,” she counters with the one idea that makes me want to rip men’s heads off with my bare hands. There’s no way in hell anyone is gonna touch her. And I don’t plan to ever let her out of my sight to make sure that doesn’t happen.
So I guess that means my dick and I are about to be very fucking miserable.
Even knowing that I’ll suffer, it’ll be worth it. It’s not just Gabby’s body I want or need in my life. I’ve missed her so fucking bad ever since that shit went down a few months ago and she refused to talk to me. She’s my best friend. And for the three years we lived together, we stayed up talking for hours every single night, telling each other everything. Well, almost everything. I want that emotional closeness again even if resisting the physical aspect will be cruel and unusual torture.
“What else do you need to pack?” I ask on a sigh of defeat.
“So we have a deal?” she asks, biting her bottom lip to prevent her smile.
“Yes, if you’ll hurry up and pack your shit,” I tell her.
“All I own can fit in this backpack and duffle, so I’m almost done. My planters are all in that cardboard box, so I’m all packed,” she responds. “And just so you know, I’m still pissed at you for disappearing for months,” she tells me with a finger pointed in my direction.
“I know,” I answer at that reminder. “Do you want to tell anyone goodbye?”
“I’ll try and find everyone on the way out,” she says with a shrug. “Honestly, I doubt anyone will miss me. Over the past few months, I haven’t been the easiest person to get along with.”
I hope that means she’s missed me as much as I’ve missed her and it made her cranky. God knows I’ve been angry. At least I’ve been able to use that in fights.
“Then let’s go,” I say.
“I need to change,” she replies, gesturing to her tiny pajamas as if I hadn’t noticed the thin top fitted to her full braless tits or the shorts that show off her long, sexy legs.
“Yeah, whatever,” I say before going over and lifting the box of flowers into my arms. “I’ll wait downstairs.”
“Okay,” Gabby agrees.
I wait not so patiently for her in the living room, anxious to get her to the apartment and show her to her room before she changes her mind. Every second she doesn’t show makes me worry she’s done just that and skipped out the back door. I’m about to go upstairs and check on her when Gabby finally appears with her backpack and duffle bag over her shoulder. She looks me up and down before she asks, “When did you get the sleeves?”
Glancing down at my arms holding the box, I remember that Gabby hasn’t seen me in months. “Oh, they were Domino’s birthday present to me a few months back,” I answer. “Took a few sessions to get both of them finished.”
“Your designs?” she asks.
“Yep.”
“They look great,” she replies, flashing me her sweet smile that melts something deep inside me, warming my soul.
And just like that, it’s as if the months we were apart disappear. Gabby probably hasn’t forgiven me. Hell, I haven’t forgiven myself for hurting her even though I never touched Cass or any other woman over the last few months. But she’s still giving me a second chance to be a part of her life, and I won’t do anything to fuck it up this time.
…
Gabby
Standing here looking at Cain across the room, I realize just how much he’s changed over the years. The quiet, skinny, sullen boy is now a grown man. A hot as fuck man with badass tattoos.
I want to get closer to examine the details of each inked design, to run my fingertips over every line.
“Ready?” he asks, snapping my attention back up to his ruggedly handsome face.
“Yeah, let’s go,” I answer, even if leaving this house is both scary and exciting.
For the past few years, I kept waiting for the day my brother would come back for me so we could get our own place. That day never came.
In a few hours, I’ll be eighteen, legally an adult, living with three grown men. Cain may be a moody asshole most of the time, but I know he cares about me. And I’ve always gotten along great with Ivan and Knox, so living with them should be fine.
Cain and I walk in silence, through the quiet night, the few blocks over to their apartment that’s on the way to the gym. My stomach knots as I remember the last time I walked through their apartment door. Cain had a girl in his bed. All I noticed about her was that she was prettier than me and that she didn’t look the least bit bothered or worried by my presence.
Unlocking the front door with the box still in his arms, Cain pushes it open and motions with a nod of his head for me to go ahead.
“First door on the right,” he tells me.
The small bedroom is warmly lit by a small lamp with a pink shade. The full bed has a thick purple comforter draped over it, and there’s a mirrored dresser against the wall. It looks different than before and very…girly.
“This is
my room?” I ask in surprise.
“Yeah. What do you think?” Cain asks as he sets the box down on the foot of the bed.
Looking around the room, well, it’s not much, but it’s mine, and that’s more than I could’ve hoped for over the last few weeks that I’ve stressed about where I was gonna live.
“It’s great,” I tell him honestly with a smile. “Thank you. I guess I should thank Ivan and Knox too.”
“Yeah, I was supposed to bunk with Knox so you could have your own room.”
“But not anymore?” I ask to make sure he’s not defaulting on our deal that he’ll sleep with me now that I’m here.
“Guess not,” he replies. “I’ll, um, let you get settled in and come to bed later,” Cain tells me as he starts to ease out the door.
“Yeah. Thanks again,” I say, missing him as soon as he disappears from sight.
The ache of longing for him that’s been inside of me for years is back and even worse.
For the past few months, I had gotten used to his absence. And this time it’s going to be so much harder than before if I have him in my bed beside me but refusing to touch me.
At least Cain’s finally admitted that he wants me, so now I just have to figure out how to convince him to take me.
Chapter Seventeen
Cain
Living with Gabby is even harder than I thought it would be. I’m unable to get any sleep with her so close yet so far away in the same bed, just out of my reach. I may not let myself touch her, but I can draw her.
My memories of her beautiful face had started to fade after only having a few photos of her and catching brief glimpses of her at school or around the house when she didn’t know I was even there. Seeing her face to face last night and in passing this morning before I left for the gym made the images fresh again. My busted fingers are itching to pick up a pencil and draw her. Instead, I wrap the gauze between and around them and put on a pair of gloves to do what’s required of me. Right now, I need to concentrate on making myself stronger, faster so that I’m ready and able to win my next fight.
