by Stacy Borel
Kyler looked over at me but I’d been rendered speechless, so Harper spoke up instead. “Listen Kyler,” she lowered her voice. “You guys have no idea what she went through when he left. It wasn’t pretty and it took her a long time to get her life back together. Seeing Finn again could set her back.”
Ky looked somewhat confused, “I thought you were married Em?”
Still unable to speak Harper said, “She is.”
No.
No.
No.
This couldn’t be happening. My eyes darted around in an attempt to catch a glimpse of Finley. But it was no use, because I was too short to see around the wall of bodies. I started to feel dizzy from the shots and two Midori Sour’s I’d already had.
Oh.
My.
Fucking.
Hell.
I needed to get out of there, fast. Trying to spot the exit, Harper grabbed my hand and held me in place. She must have sensed that I was about to bolt.
I looked up and she was staring at me shaking her head back and forth, silently telling me ‘you’re not bailing’. God damn it, what was she doing? I felt like I couldn’t breathe and I needed to get out of there! Even if she didn’t let me leave, the least she could do was allow me the courtesy of going to the bathroom to collect myself. Kyler must have really looked at me then because he stepped up to me and grabbed my elbow, leaning down to my ear. “Hey Em, you okay? You’re as white as a ghost.”
I looked straight into his brown eyes and instantly he knew. He looked over to Harper and said, “I’m going to walk her to the bathroom. Do you mind standing here and waiting for Finn?” Harper looked concerned, but must have thought better than to insist on taking me herself. She held her hand straight up and gestured for him to go ahead. I sighed, knowing she was more than likely going to give Finn and earful when she found him, but not having the energy to care.
Kyler gently took my hand and led me back to the bathrooms. Surprisingly, there wasn’t a line for the ladies room and without a second thought Ky marched me inside and locked the door. I walked straight over to the sink and braced my hands on the counter with two hands and looked at myself in the mirror. I was pale and my eyes were huge like a scared animal. I wasn’t sure how long I watched myself taking deep breaths, but I know it was long enough to forget Kyler was in the room with me. I glanced over my shoulder through the mirror and saw he was leaning up against the door, watching me. He face held a look of concern and curiosity.
“What’s going on Emilyn?”
I shook my head and looked down in an attempt to avoid eye contact. I began washing my hands, since that’s what one did in the bathroom besides going pee, right? “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I just started to feel a little woozy from all the alcohol. I don’t drink much and I think it just hit me all of a sudden.”
“Right. You always were a shit liar. Now tell me what’s really going on.” He wasn’t going to back down.
“I told you. I was just overwhelmed, and it’s seriously hot out there.” How could I tell Finn’s best friend that I might not actually be over him after ten years? That sounded crazy. Especially since I was married! Jesus Emilyn, get it together. You’re fucking married!
“So the fact that Finn is out there and you’re in here having a ‘moment’ is completely coincidental?”
Damn. I started to get mad. Mad that I was that easy to read, and mad that after ten years he still knew me so well. Being that they were best friends, Kyler was around a lot when Finn and I were dating and we became pretty close. He was my male version of Harper. Only difference being that when Finn left, I stopped talking to Ky.
“You know what? I don’t owe you any explanations, so back the fuck off! Finn left me high and dry ten years ago when he took off. I haven’t heard from or seen him since then. I couldn’t care less if he is out there or back in California shacking up with some fake bimbo. I’m married now and I’ve moved on.” Jesus, why was I yelling at Kyler? That was it. I was never drinking again.
Ky held his hands up, palms outwards in surrender. “Okay honey. If that look on your face when his name is mentioned is you ‘moved on’ then fine. I believe you.” He studied me a few more long seconds and changed the subject. “It’s been a long time. You’re looking hot Shorty!” That was Kyler’s nickname for me from the time I met him my junior year in high school until… well, that awful day I didn’t want to remember right then.
I knew he was full of crap on both accounts, but it was just like Ky to change the subject to try and make me feel better. “It’s good to see you Ky. Looks like California is treating you well.” I smiled and reached up to give him a hug. He held me in a tight embrace—picking me off the floor and setting me back down. Stepping back, I got a good look at my surroundings. A bathroom in a bar wasn’t the best place to catch up on old times, so I decided I needed to get out of there. “Hey I think I need a drink. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to head back to the bar. Can you let Harper know where I’m at?” He agreed. I side stepped him, unlocked the door and headed down the hall through the crowd. As I waited for the bartender’s attention, I noticed a good looking man standing next to me, quite clearly giving me the eye. I glanced up at him, and he smiled back at me. He held his hand out for me to shake, and so I placed my hand in his. He leant in towards me, “Hi, I’m Vance. You would be…?”
I leaned back and smiled at him and said “Emilyn. Nice to meet you Vance. Are you from around here?”
“No, I’m actually just here doing some business in Boise. I’m from Portland but staying with some friends here in town.”
“What kind of business are you in, Vance?”
Showing me a fantastic smile he said “Marketing. I’m working on some new ad slogans.”
“That sounds…” I waved my hand in the air making small circles with it while I looked for the right words, “…boring.”
He tipped his head back and let out a deep throaty laugh. “Yes, I suppose it can be boring but I honestly love it. I get to be creative and it’s quite the feeling when you see a commercial on TV that you had a hand in.”
I knew I’d blame it on the alcohol later, but I was feeling feisty and Vance was a very good looking man that was showing an interest in me—interest that I hadn’t felt from a man in a long time. I reached out and took hold of his hand and said with a devilish smile, “Want to dance with me?”
He returned my smile with one of his own, and winked at me before he led me out on the dance floor. As Vance brought me in close to his body, I didn’t want to think about my troubles with Weston. I didn’t want to look around for Harper, Kyler, or him. I just wanted to be lost in the moment and forget that the love of my life was here in this bar. Wait… what the hell? Love of my life? I must’ve been drunker than I thought.
Some sort of upbeat song was on and I put my hands up around Vance’s shoulders and brought my body close to his. He smelled good, like some sort of expensive cologne and good clean man. Vance slid his hands from my shoulder blades down low to rest on my hips. He pulled me closer; wedging our bodies so there was no space between them. He had his right leg in between mine and we rocked back and forth to the beat. I could feel his growing arousal against my hip, and I had to admit that it’d been a while since I had been this close to a man and felt somewhat desirable. Blend that with my inebriated state and it was a heady mix. As one song blended into the next, I was lost. It was exactly what I wanted. They all seem to leave me, it was just a matter of time. So for right now I just wanted to feel this; a hard bodied man holding me close; the smell, the sensation, the need.
Just as I let the last of my reservations go I felt those familiar eyes on me. I didn’t need to turn around to know those piercing blue eyes were staring at me. My stomach bottomed out, and my heart rate spiked into overdrive. I shifted around in Vance’s arms and put my back to his front, reaching my arms up around his neck as his hands moved up to hold on to my stomach. I wasn’t feeling brave enough t
o open my eyes and see him yet so I continued to sway my hips against Vance. I felt his left hand move from my stomach and slide down my hip to my thigh and back up to my hip. Jesus, was it hot in here? I felt my body flash with heat, and I was pretty sure it had nothing to do with the temperature.
I heard someone clear their throat and I felt Vance stiffen at my back.
Fuck.
I felt like I was about to throw up. Opening my eyes, I was met with a wide muscular chest, wearing a grey button down shirt with a white undershirt. The button down was unbuttoned and sexy as hell. The sleeves were rolled up to the elbows so I could see strong, muscular forearms and the few tattoos that snaked down to the wrist. Still not able to make eye contact, I let my eyes roam further, down to a pair of khaki cargo shorts and naked feet in a pair of dark brown flip flops. He cleared his throat again, and that’s when my eyes came back up his body and finally rested on his face. Holy shit. He was exactly the same, and yet so very different. He’d clearly grown since high school. He was around six feet when I was dating him, but now looked to be around six foot four. He was huge! He’d let his hair grow out to a sexy dark brown mess that was swept to the side. His jaw was strong and square with perfectly full lips. But his eyes…
Oh my god his eyes.
I couldn’t tear myself away from them. He’d always had the most hypnotic pair of eyes I’d ever seen. They were a dark blue that appeared lighter because of how dark his hair was. His perfect full lips tipped up a little bit before becoming a full blown smile. His teeth were super white and perfectly straight. The man was just… beautiful.
“Hello Emilyn,” he said in his ultra sexy deep voice. Either his voice had gone down a few octaves, or I hadn’t remembered it that well.
I still was standing there staring at him when I remembered Vance standing behind me. He shifted forward. “Do you know this guy Emilyn?”
The two of them must have been waiting for me to respond… shit! Wait, was I supposed to be talking? Did I speak already? Seriously, I was never drinking this much again! That’s when Finn reached out and touched my chin lightly with his right index finger and shut my jaw that was apparently hanging open. Oh god how embarrassing! He looked right at me like he could devour me. But he smiled at me like he knew what I was thinking. Bastard! My knees felt weak and I really wished he hadn’t touched me. How could this man affect me so much after ten years?
Since my vocabulary had clearly taken a vacation, Finn spoke up and said, “Yeah I know her. We went to high school together.” That snapped me out of my daze. “She’s married by the way.”
“Emilyn didn’t tell me she was married. She’s not wearing a ring. So if you’ll excuse us.” Vance said in a condescending tone dismissing Finn. He put himself in front of me, effectively blocking my view of Finn.
“I don’t think you get it my man. She’s taken, whether she’s wearing a ring or not. Now back away from her and go find another pretty woman to dance with.” I could hear the threat in Finn’s voice. I was getting pissed. Who did he think he was, coming and scaring off a guy I was just dancing with? I hadn’t seen him in such a long time and he thought he could just go scaring people away from me?
Vance was clearly losing patience but I could tell he didn’t want have kind of physical altercation with Finn. Besides, Finn had a good four inches on him. Between the two you could tell who was going to win if punches were thrown. After a few moments of a tense standoff, Vance turned towards me, lifted my right hand to his mouth and gave it a gentle kiss. “It was very nice meeting you Emilyn and thank you for the dance. Maybe I’ll catch you around later.” He winked at me, gave me a suggestive smile, and walked away.
I watched him walk through the crowd until I couldn’t see him over the top of all the people. Did that just happen? Seriously in what world does your ex-boyfriend that you haven’t seen in a forever get to waltz into your life—in a bar—and make a scene? I was fuming and I was going to let him know that he could fuck off but not until I’d had another drink. Turning on my heels, I walked straight past him, brushing my arm against his abdomen, and started back towards to bar. I swear I heard him growl.
Making my way back to the bar and sitting on a bar stool Harper and Kyler came and stood next to me. “How are you doing Em? You feeling okay?” Harper asked.
“I’m fine… feeling happily numb.” The bartender came over and I asked for two California Car Bombs. As he placed them in front of me I threw them back, one right after the other. I knew this was probably a bad idea but at this point I didn’t care. My brain couldn’t work out what my heart was feeling and I definitely couldn’t talk about it. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Finn approaching but I didn’t feel like talking or dealing with him right then. The more I drank the more bitter I felt about what he’d just done out on the dance floor and what he did to me back in high school.
I hopped off the bar stool and wobbled a bit. Ky reached out a hand to steady me and so did Finn. Not wanting either of them to touch me, I shook them both off and grabbed Harper to go dance.
I weaved in and out of all the people, found an opening and began shaking my hips. She giggled and danced right along with me. Moving my hands down my own body, I dragged them down my breasts, past my hips, and slid them down my thighs. I bent down and started to get back up sticking my ass out. I think I channel my inner stripper when I’m drunk. However, that little move made me feel a little queasy. Standing all the way back up, I definitely swayed more than I did getting off the bar stool. Harper took a hold of me around the waist and said, “Emmy are you feeling okay?”
“Sheppp…I’s jusss fineeee.” Wow, the alcohol had really gone to my head!
Just then I was picked up. An arm went behind my knees and another around my back. My head felt heavy so I rested it on the hard chest of whoever had picked me up. It probably wasn’t the safest thing to allow a stranger to carry me around but I wasn’t feeling that great, and frankly I probably would have hit the floor if this person hadn’t taken me out of Harpers arms.
“Just relax Emilyn I have you.” Finn’s voice rumbled somewhere in my head.
“Hmm….Finn, I misted yous.” I sighed. As the person carried me through the bar, I heard Harper and Kyler talking somewhere behind me. They were arguing about Harper letting me drink so much. I vaguely heard her tell Ky that I was a grown woman and I could make my own choices, and there was nothing wrong with getting wasted every now that then. I think I heard her call him a pussy too because he had been drinking some sort of strawberry daiquiri. I giggled. “Harps, das not nice.” Just then I threw my hand over my mouth. A loud hiccup escaped me, and I felt like I was going to get sick.
“Oh fuck,” came that all too familiar voice.
I squirmed out of the arms of the person holding me, and bent over at the waist; throwing up everything I’d drunk. I felt my hair being swept back and held away from my face by the stranger so I turned to see who it was. Not an easy feat when you’re still bent in half. My eyes were blurry from tears because I had puked so much, but I could still see it was Finn at my side. When I thought I couldn’t puke anymore, those big arms wrapped me up again and he said, “Come on my Tiny Girl, up you go.”
I hadn’t heard him call me that since the day we graduated and felt a pang of hurt crack through that undisturbed part of my heart. Finley had told me once that I was quite possibly the shortest person he had ever seen. Although I knew that wasn’t true, I remember laughing, and the nickname stuck. I hadn’t minded his little term of endearment back then, but now it didn’t make me feel warm, it made me feel something that I wouldn’t let myself feel ever again.
Finn carried me all the way out to the car and soon enough I felt him putting me in the back seat. Whose car was this? I got my answer when Finn walked around the front of the vehicle and sat down in the driver’s seat. Almost immediately we had company; Kyler got in the passenger side and Harper had climbed in back with me. I lay my head down on her lap and let her run her fingers thro
ugh my long hair. I knew the three of them were talking, but I was too dizzy and tired to even care what they were saying. I drifted into a state of unconsciousness, into a world where I was happy and my heart didn’t feel empty.
I was sitting in Kyler’s parent’s small kitchen drinking a cup of coffee thinking about what had happened last night. When Ky told me two days ago that our old high school was having its ten year reunion, I immediately thought of Emilyn.
I always thought about Emilyn.
I’d often wondered what it would be like to see her again after all these years, but I hadn’t quite imagined it going down the way that it did.
Kyler wanted to go to the bar to grab a beer and relax. When we got there, I went to get the drinks and he said he would go try to find us a table. After getting the beers, I caught up with him but was surprised to see him standing next to Harper Graham. Those two had always wound each other up but that wasn’t the issue I was concerned with. If they were anything like they were in high school, Harper being there meant that Em was likely there too. Judging by the look on Harpers face when she saw me, I would venture to guess she was. I started looking out on the dance floor and that’s when I saw her. She was still as tiny as I remembered. She had the most beautiful long blonde hair I’d ever seen. I remembered the way it felt as I ran my fingers through it; silky and soft. From the looks of it, she’d grown it out a little bit longer. She was so beautiful out there dancing.
That’s when I noticed the guy behind her pressed up against her body and getting a bit too grabby. I leaned down to speak into Harpers ear. “Isn’t Em married?”
“She’s just having fun Finn. Leave it alone.”
I kept watching Em as she swayed her hips back and forth. The guy’s hands had started to travel a little far down and he was about to get a handful of Em’s ass. I saw nothing but red. Oh hell-fucking-no! If Harper wasn’t going to go stop her from getting fondled by a complete stranger, then I would.
