by Stacy Borel
“Oh come on Shorty. You’re barely bigger than a five year old, and you’re pregnant. You think you can hurt me?” His shoulders shook with the laughter he was still trying to contain.
“You know what, if I wasn’t so pissed off at Harper, I’d tell her to hurt you, since you think I can’t.”
With that, his face went from trying not to crack a smile, to frowning. “That’s not funny Em. Don’t even joke about that shit.”
“Yeah well lucky for you, I don’t even know if I can talk to her right now.” It should have been funny to see Ky shaking in his boots from the idea of Harper getting her hands on him, but I was too upset to care. She was my best friend and she betrayed me. I had to find out what the hell was going on. I needed to know why she told Kyler about my divorce, and why he was here at the house after we agreed she wouldn’t let him come over. Picking up my cell, I dialed her number.
“What are you doing? Are you calling Harper?” He was scared.
I put my finger to my lips to shush him. She answered, “Hey Em! Enjoying your night alone?”
“I can’t believe you told Kyler about me and West! Seriously Harper?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Oh my god! Would everybody quit lying to me?” My frustration levels hit a new high.
“Okay, I may have told Kyler about the divorce, but I can explain. I promise I’ll tell you all about it when I get home. He is supposed to come and pick me up in a few minutes and I have a contract I have to fax before I leave. But I promise he has no idea about the pregnancy.” I could hear in her voice that she wanted to talk to me about it.
“Don’t worry about it. He already knows.”
“What do you mean he already knows? Wait…how did you know he knew about the divorce?” Her curiosity emanated through the phone.
I glared over at a very silent Kyler sitting on the couch, cupping his balls as if Harper could come through the phone and kick him. “Kyler is here right now Harper. He is sitting on the couch about to divulge everything he knows.” He had his cell phone in his other hand, and I quietly worried if he was texting Finn about what was going on. He glanced up at me with a stern expression.
Talking more to herself than to me, Harper ranted, “Stupid bastard… never listens to instructions. I’m on my way home. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes, and I promise I will explain everything! Just don’t be mad at me!” I sensed that she wanted to stay on the phone to plead with me, but I needed to hang up the phone and deal with Kyler before she got back.
“We’ll be here.”
I hung up and took a seat on the couch. I set my phone down on the coffee table and leaned back, unconsciously putting my hand on my stomach. Ky sat and watched me. Sitting back up I met his eyes and decided it was best I told him everything.
“Alright, listen. Clearly Harper told you I’m in the middle of a divorce. I went home after the reunion and I found West in bed with our interior decorator. I came back home and was served with divorce papers not long after I left Chicago. I went to get tested since I had no clue where that bitch--or West for that matter—had been.” Kyler was listening intently and I felt the sadness creeping back in. “Low and behold…” I looked down at my baby bump.
Kyler leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. “This is a whole lotta fucked up Em.” He turned his head away facing the rest of the living room. “How did West take the news? Is he taking care of you?”
A tear rolled down my cheek and I wiped it away. “He didn’t take it so well. He told me before I left that he didn’t love me and he’d never wanted to have kids with me. Naturally, he believes I did this on purpose to get more from him.” More tears fell. “But I don’t want anything from him. I’m just scared he’s going to try to take my baby away from me.”
His head shot my way, “Not going to happen. I’m not going to let that douchebag take anything, and neither will Finn.”
“No! Oh god… please don’t tell him about this Ky? Please, I’m begging you!”
He exhaled loudly. “Finn already knows about the divorce Em.” Of course he would. If Harper told Kyler, then obviously he would’ve told Finn. God, what a mess! “And I can’t keep this from him. He’s my best friend and he’d want to know. I get that you want to do this on your own, but I think he deserves to know.”
I was exasperated. “What do you mean he deserves to know? He doesn’t deserve to know anything!”
“He still cares about you. You know that right?”
“Listen, I know Finn probably feels guilty for leaving me the way he did and—in some sort of messed up way—he did try to make it up to me at the reunion. He should never have kissed me, but it’s done and I can’t change that. But this is my life and my problem Ky. Finn stopped deserving to know things a long time ago.”
He shook his head at me. “You don’t get it do you Em? Yes, I’m sure he still feels guilty about how things ended between you two, but guilt wasn’t what fueled him to do what he did at the reunion. He misses you. I’ve been living with that bastard for over ten years now and I can tell you he’s been miserable to be around. I think he knows it’s you that’s missing from his life.”
My slightly weepy eyes were quickly becoming full on water works. “Can I tell you something?”
“Always.” He reached over and grabbed my hand.
“I never loved Weston like I did Finn. I think that was a once in a lifetime feeling, you know?” I was looking down at our joined hands.
“I know hon.”
The front door opened and shut and I heard Harper setting her keys on the entry table. “Emilyn?”
“In here!” I yelled back.
She came walking in and a distraught look on her face. Her eyes told me how sorry she was. I stood up from the couch and walked over to her for a hug. “I’m so sorry Em. I didn’t mean to tell your secret. I just wanted to help you.” She was saying into my ear.
I desperately wanted to be mad at her, but the hugging, the look she’d given me when she walked in the door, and the conversation I’d just had with Ky, meant I couldn’t. Harper was my support. She was my best friend and had been my rock through this mess. And mostly, I knew why she’d told Kyler.
I pulled back slightly, “I know. And it’s okay, I forgive you. I guess I couldn’t have kept it all secret forever.” I sniffled, and released her with a small smile.
She smiled back at me then seemed to remember there was someone else in the room. Turning and facing Ky, she pointed her finger at him and her face was livid. “You!”
Kyler’s eyes got wide. “Me?”
“You little bastard, I told you to meet me at the office. What the fuck are you doing here?” She slowly advanced toward him.
“Now, take it easy Harper, I was just bringing you flowers. I must have forgotten you wanted to meet somewhere else.” He gulped loudly and got up from the couch, only to move gingerly around to the other side of it.
“You forgot?” She laughed like a crazy woman. “You forgot!?” Now up against the front of the couch directly in front of Kyler, all it would take was one quick leap and she’d be on the other side.
I thought about stepping in, but I was ashamed to admit that I found the whole thing entertaining. It reminded me of high school. I snapped out of my daydream when I heard Kyler scream like a girl. “Owwww! Damn it Harper!” She had a hold of his nipples, and it was apparent that she’d given them a really good twist.
“Why do you never listen to me? I was very specific Mr. Lewis. Are you fond of your nipples?” She gave a little more twist.
He whimpered, “Oh Jesus, yes I like them very much.” He was almost on his knees in front of her.
“Harper, let him go. He was just trying to be nice.” I laughed as I said the words. Poor Ky, the nipple pinching looked so painful it made my own hurt.
“Yeah, I was just trying to be nice.” He stammered out. “See, your flowers are over there.” He pointed to the table beside her.
“Fine.” She released him and reached for the bouquet. “These are really pretty. Thank you.”
He knelt on the floor, rubbing his chest trying to relieve the tenderness, but I was sure they wouldn’t feel better for a while. He glared up at her. “Are you bipolar?”
She looked at him confused. “No, why?”
I laughed and Kyler just shook his head, standing back up.
That’s when I realized my pizza still wasn’t there. “When the hell is that delivery boy going to get here? I’m hungry!”
Harper had gone in to the kitchen to get a vase for her flowers and walked back in to the living room holding the pizza box. “Hmmm…wonder if the kid heard the screaming, little girly man over here did,” she was pointed her thumb over to Ky. “This was sitting on the front porch. Awesome, we didn’t even have to pay for it.” She shrugged her shoulders. Kyler mumbled something under his breath about her being psychotic. “Why don’t we just eat here? I can pull up the listings from my computer, and we’ll make a list of the ones you want to see tomorrow.”
“Pizza does sound good.” He came and sat on the couch.
I went into the kitchen to grab some napkins and plates and before sitting down to eat. I handed Harper the phone and picked up the box.
“What’s the phone for?” Her face confused.
“So you can order you two some pizza. This bitch is mine and I’m not sharing.” And with that, I took a big bite out of a slice.
I was fast asleep with music suddenly started playing next to my head. Why the hell was Barbie Girl playing on my phone? I looked at my clock and picked up my phone. It was one in the morning. My screen said it was Kyler calling. Rolling over on my back and answered. “Did you change my ringtone before you left?”
He started laughing hysterically on the other end. “Oh man, I forgot about that. Some funny shit right there!”
“Yeah real funny.” I grunted into the phone. “Why are you calling me? Did you forget what time it was?” If he was drunk dialing me, I was throwing him out.
“I’m calling because I just got home from Harper and Em’s house.”
Now wide awake, he had my full attention. I turned on the bedside light and sat up against the headboard. “How is she? Does she look okay?” Not that I wanted my best friend checking her out but I needed to know how she was.
“Well that’s what I’m calling about, man. I think you need to fly out here as soon as you can.”
Now he had me concerned. “Quit being a fucking girl and beating around the bush. What’s going on?”
“Listen, I really don’t think it’s something that I should tell you over the phone, plus she begged me to not say anything. Just do yourself a favor and get on the next flight out here. She needs you right now whether she wants to admit it or not.”
“Does this have anything to do with why she’s been avoiding me?” I got out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans that were lying on the floor. I grabbed a suitcase out of the closet and threw random shit in it. I felt nervous. Was she sick? Had she spiraled back to the same place she’d been in after I’d left her?
“Yeah, it is. Look man, I’m not going to tell you anything else. I’m sorry for being so tight lipped, but I don’t want to betray her, and I really enjoy my nipples. Just come and see her for yourself.” He was really trying to be a good friend but was clearly torn in his loyalty. I wasn’t even going to ask about his nipples.
“I’m packing right now.” I went into the bathroom to grab my toiletry bag. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”
“Do you need me to pick you up at the airport?”
“Nah. I’ll get a rental.”
We hung up and I finished packing my bag. I didn’t know what the hell was going on but I guessed I was about to find out. Emilyn had been putting me off for a couple of months now and I would finally get a chance to talk to her. Well, that’s if she let me talk to her. Would I even give her the opportunity to walk away? It’s not like she was with her husband anymore. I could understand her needing time to get passed something like a divorce, but Kyler said she needed me, even if she didn’t know it yet. What the hell was that supposed to mean?
So many different scenarios ran through my head as I made my way to the airport; ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous. What Emilyn obviously hadn’t realized was, no matter what was going on, I was here for her. Nothing could make me walk away again. I was hers. And it was time that I started to show her that.
Emilyn was all I could think about on the flight back home. She’d always been a very quiet girl. Sitting there on the plane I let my mind wander back to our first kiss...
School had just gotten out and Emilyn had gone to watch Harper practice on the softball field. She was so beautiful leaning up against the chain-linked fence, both of her arms resting on top and her chin on her forearm. That long blonde hair that I loved touching—even when she didn’t know I was touching it—was blowing slightly in the wind. She looked like an angel; an angel that didn’t even know the effect she had on me. I thought of this girl every waking minute of the day. Em had become my whole world and we’d only been together for a month.
She must have heard me approach because she turned her head a bit and looked at me out of the corner of her eye. The corner of her mouth tipped up before she turned back to watch Harper. I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her small waist. She was so small. I loved that about her. She dropped her arms down to rest on top of mine and she leaned into me. She let out a soft, contented sigh and she looked up at me grinning. Her dazzling white smile always blew me away. I’d never let anything hurt this girl.
“Well hello there my beautiful Tiny Girl. Want to go for a walk with me?”
“Where do you have in mind?” Her voice was playful.
I tapped the tip of her nose with my finger. “I just thinking of going around the campus, not too far.”
“Sure!” She turned in my arms and I grasped her hand, lacing my fingers through hers. We walked past the bleachers and over to the football field. I loved being on this patch of green. Kyler and I ruled this field during games. We were both very good and I never felt more comfortable than when I was out here running with a ball. But being out there with Em was a different feeling. I was nervous and unsure. I knew why I’d asked her to come out here with me and I wouldn’t let myself chicken out. I knew I sounded like a chick feeling that way, but this girl made me feel like things I’d never felt before. I think I knew it the moment I first laid eyes on her. I walked her to the fifty yard line and pulled her to a stop.
She looked up at me with her innocent sparkling blue eyes, questioning why we weren’t walking anymore. I kissed the top of her head and just looked at her. She giggled at me. “What’s going on Finn, I thought we were going for a walk?”
“God you’re beautiful. Do you even know how beautiful you are?” Shit I’d turned into a sap.
Her cheeks turned a light pink and she looked down—always the shy girl. I put my finger under her chin and tilted her face up to mine. “Take the compliment Em. I don’t lie. I’ve never seen anyone as beautiful as you. I have a confession. I brought you out here for a reason.”
“Okay, what’s going on?”
I wasn’t sure how to say what I wanted to say to her without sounding like I’d lost my testicles. I’d never said anything like this to a girl before, and I didn’t want to scare her away. I cupped her face in both of my hands, forcing her to look at me.
“I know we haven’t been together very long Em, but I’ve never felt like this before. You make me… feel things that are new to me and I don’t really know how to tell you about it without just coming out with it.” My pulse was racing.
She put her hands up on my chest, and I had no doubt she could feel my heart pounding. I loved this Tiny Girl with every fiber in my body and I needed to tell her. It was one of the reasons I’d brought her out here, to this spot. This spot is where we met with the other team, where we tossed a coin and decided
who got the ball. It felt metaphoric, like I was the one tossing a coin and she could either take the ball and run with it, or she could hand the ball back and tell me to fuck off. It was now or never.
“I love you Em. Like really love you! At least I think that’s what I’m feeling.” She was giving nothing away in her face, so I had no idea if what I’d just said meant anything to her. I needed to tell her everything. “I’ve never felt this way about a girl. And I think I’ve known I loved you even from the first time I saw you. It’s just… different with you Em. The way you look at me with those bright blue eyes, the way your hair falls over your shoulder and I just want to run my fingers through it, the way you laugh draws me to you. You’re so innocent and sweet to everyone around you. I love that about you. I love that you’ve asked me to wait to have sex—how we’ve gone this entire time and you haven’t even let me kiss you. It’s all just… different! Every girl that I’ve ever gone out with expected me to be with them. They were all fake Em, all of them. But you’re so real with everything you do. I need you to know how I am feeling about you. I’m not saying all of this to pressure you into….” She put her small hand up to cover my mouth.
“I know you’re not telling me this to pressure me Finn.” It was then that she finally smiled at me. “I love you too. You are so sweet to me. I couldn’t understand why you chose me. I’m just me. I’ve never felt special. I always thought of myself as a plain girl until you came along and made me feel special. I’ve seen the girls you’ve dated Finn, and I’ve always thought I was just average next to them. I hear what they all say about me being with you, so it can be hard to understand why someone like you would want to be with someone like me.” Tears glistened in her eyes. I couldn’t believe she thought she didn’t deserve me! And what the hell were other people saying to her?
“Shhh baby… don’t cry.” My hands were still holding her small delicate face. I used my thumb to swipe across her face when a tear fell down her cheek. “Who is saying these things to you? I swear to god I’ll beat their ass!”
