by Ann Stewart
My cheeks are damp with tears. Oliver reaches up with one of his hands and caresses my face, wiping away each tear that descends. I hate that I’m hurting him, but I need to be honest. “I love him, Oliver. I don’t know what else to say.”
“Say you’ll think about it.” It’s been said that a desperate man is a man to fear because there is nothing he wouldn’t do. As I search Oliver’s face, I see nothing but need expressed in those emerald eyes. He’s normally so lighthearted and carefree. And those loveable traits I’ve clung to for the past few weeks have completely diminished. I’ve done that to him and guilt is an ugly emotion.
“Your five minutes are up.” I turn to find Alex leaning against my door, arms folded across his chest.
“Just think about it.” Oliver lets go, but not before scowling in Alex’s direction before he heads to his car. The screech of tires echoes throughout the parking lot when I turn to Alex. Somberly, I walk to him. I clench my eyes shut and reach out, expecting to meet his ire. Instead, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close; breathing me in as he nestles against my neck.
His arms tighten around me. “You alright?” I bury my face in his chest and nod, mirroring his actions by breathing him in. The scent of musk and citrus is home, giving me a sense of comfort. “Come on, let’s get you inside.”
The moment my feet touch my carpet Rachel wraps her arms around me, leading me to the couch. Can this night end already? I forgot she asked for sanctuary from her relationship and stayed the weekend at my apartment. Is she really not over her fight with Bryan?
“What the hell! Are you okay?” I nod and sit next to her on the couch. Shortly after, Alex brings over a bottle of water and sits across from us in the recliner.
“I thought you’d be back home by now.” Rachel sits back, bringing her knees up to rest her chin against them. She looks young in her flannel pajama pants and tank top, with her hair braided into two pigtails that fall across her chest on both sides. Now that I’ve gotten a chance to focus on anyone besides myself, I look at her and can tell she’s been crying. She slowly shakes her head, looking sadder than I’ve ever seen her.
“Have you talked to Bryan?” She looks at Alex, hesitating about saying anything in from of him.
Alex looks between the two of us before asking, “Do you need me to leave?”
I shake my head, standing to walk to him. Rachel looks at me with confusion when I curl into a ball in his lap, resting my head against his shoulder.
“Rach, Bryan was right. I was being awful and I hurt Alex. I never meant to cause so many problems. I love you for sticking up for me, but please call him. I’m sure he’s hurting just as bad as you are.”
Rachel shakes her head in defiance. “I said awful things to him.”
Alex butts in, “He was pretty torn up when he called me. People sometimes do and say awful things to those they love. I’m sure he’s over it and wants you to come home.” I look up at him and kiss his jaw before nestling back against his shoulder waiting for my sister to make a decision.
Rachel nods and heads to my bedroom without another word. I lift my head placing a kiss on Alex’s dimpled cheek. Minutes later Rachel exits my bedroom carrying a duffle bag, and an extra large grin on her face.
I stand and give her a hug. She whispers in my ear, “Did you tell him about the baby?” I nod. She releases me and rushes to Alex bringing him in for his own embrace.
“I’m glad you guys worked things out.” Alex smiles down at her. “You sure are gonna make a good Daddy.” She squeals, hugging him a second time. “I’m going to have the cutest niece or nephew ever.”
Alex gives me a knowing look as we see Rachel out. The instant the door closed, “So Rachel knew?” I nod. “For how long?”
“The day after Thanksgiving. She went to my first appointment with me.” I walk into the kitchen and look through my purse. It only takes me a second to find what I’m looking for and take it to Alex. It’s time he meets his LJ.
He stares at my hand for an absurdly long amount of time, before reaching out. Holding our baby’s first picture I can see tears pooling in his eyes, threatening to spill over.
“This is our baby?” I nod. “I can’t believe I missed this.” I walk to him, wrapping my arms around his waist.
He grabs my chin, forcing me to look at him. “Promise me that I won’t miss anything else.”
Alex lifts me when I wrap my arms around his neck, bringing his mouth down to mine. “I promise, Alex. No more fighting this.”
Alex sets me on the counter and lifts my shirt, startling me a little. “If it’s okay with you, LJ and I need to have a little conversation.” I nod, just barely holding back my emotions. “LJ, you need to tell your Mom that I’m not going anywhere. She can’t push me away no more ‘cause we’re like two peas in a pod. So, help me out and talk to your Mom for me, ‘kay?”
After the sweet moment, Alex runs his fingers along my belly. Even though the baby’s too small to feel any movements, he probably doesn’t realize that and I won’t tell him. Not only because I’m selfish, but because we both deserve to cherish these moments.
CHAPTER 16
Monday, December 10, 2012
Some compare being in love to the sensation of flying. I’m deathly afraid of flying, even though the past few months are starting to prove otherwise, but it’s still the same. Being in love is just like flying for me. Anxious, on the edge, and yet somehow walking that fine line between safety and jeopardy. I have a feeling today is going to either make or break the life Alex and I are trying to build.
Alex left me early this morning to head home and grab a change of clothes, but not before leaving me with something to remember him by. Our morning shower consisted of soft kisses along every inch of my body as he lathered me from head to toe, spending quality time on my belly, saying his own good morning to LJ.
After our intimate morning I should feel like Jell-O. Instead, as I walk towards the elevators at work, I’m wound up viciously tight. Last night we discussed our plans. The first step was that Alex would transfer to another division of SHI. He said he was already aware that the self-funded sector of the company is in need of new management. Even though it would mean a demotion, he would take the hit knowing it would be a step in the right direction. The second step in our plan is to break my lease and move in with him as soon as humanly possible.
Hence the nerves. I haven’t seen or spoken to Arianna and I know once she gets wind of his plans she’ll be on a war path. Stepping foot on campus, my rather large spoonful of optimism has slowly melted away. With the world on my shoulders, it’s no surprise I didn’t notice my traveling companion as I step inside the elevator.
I should have known I wouldn’t get too far.
With surprising force, my face twists to the side with the momentum of a clawed hand. I’m utterly shocked and have no time to recover from the assault, when I’m forced back into the wall, shoulders pinned at my side. Pale arms, tipped with shiny red talons grip my shoulders, causing me to wince as her nails dig into my skin. Arianna’s stare is menacing. I’m not going to lie…she’s scaring me a little. She takes her time and reaches over and pushes a button, instantly halting the elevator from ascending to our given floor.
“Have a nice trip?” Her voice is eerily calm, sending goose bumps up my arms. I can see her psyche crumbling before me as she twists her head, cracking her neck in the process. You know how you can tell if someone has one too many screws loose? It’s in their eyes. The way she tilts her head surveying me, eyeing me until she sees me squirm. It’s unnatural and it’s frustrating. The silence thickens around us.
I try to push against her, but she is abnormally strong. Must be the cup of crazy she decided to drink this morning. I wriggle against her strength. “Get the fuck off me.”
“Since when don’t you like it rough?” Arianna pulls at my hair, the pain stinging my scalp with each tug. “Alex doesn’t know soft and sweet. There have been many times he’s left mar
ks all over me.”
“Shut up!” I scream, trying to drown out the sound of her vile words.
“You realize there’s no part of his body that I haven’t touched, licked, sucked. I own him,” she sneers, her breath against my cheek. I cringe. “We’ve been in his bed, on his couch, in his kitchen. There’s no place that’s just yours.”
I finally get out of her hold, my chest heaving, I glare at her. I rush to the control panel, but Arianna is a second faster and blocks my way. “What do you want, Arianna?”
“We’ve already gone over this, but you didn’t listen. I told you, you don’t want to fuck with me.” Her nails tap against the elevator walls, still blocking my way.
“It’s done. We’re done playing these games with you. I love him! I’m not giving him up. I’ve tried and I can’t do it,” I cry out.
“I never realized what a glutton for punishment you are. I gave you the perfect life, handed it to you on a fucking silver platter and this is how you show your appreciation? By continuing to play with what’s mine. By ignoring the incredible opportunities I’ve given you. Oliver’s just as good in bed. He’s not as experienced, but he still knows what he’s doing.” My stomach lurches. I don’t know why anything she does surprises me anymore. God, is there anybody she hasn’t slept with!
“You know some of the best sex I’ve ever had with Alex was after I told him I’d been with Oliver. He’s quite…competitive. I figured he would be the perfect pawn to use in this little cat and mouse game we have going. I figured once he knew Oliver had you, it would drive him to explore other avenues to forget about you.”
“I guess you don’t know him as well as you thought you did.” And thank God, she doesn’t know my relationship with Oliver never surpassed a sweet kiss and comforting embrace.
“Oh, I know him. I know him and I, we’re far from done.”
“We ARE done. Alex is switching departments. We’re moving in together. It’s done. There’s nothing left to decide. We’re together and you’re just going to have to deal with it. I won’t let you control us anymore.”
She laughs, squealing like a pig. “You’re just like your mother, giving away your life for a man who will one day disappoint you. Just like all the rest.”
“You know what, Arianna? I feel sorry for you. Your entire life mission has revolved around the misery of others. It’s pathetic really. And, it’s true what they say. Misery loves company. Unfortunately for you, you’re alone. Your husband can’t stand the sight of you; you have no friends, so you fall right in line with how miserable you really are. Trying to take everyone down with you. You and your wretched life, it is pathetic. You tried with my parents and even that didn’t work because even in death they’re still together.”
A snarl erupts from her chest when she pushes me back against the wall. “Coincidental, right? That they died knowing your father was deep inside me just days before it happened and your twit of a mother crying and begging him to stay with her when he was so wrapped up in me. You say I’m pathetic? Have you looked in the mirror lately? You sound just like her, weak and pathetic to the bone.”
“You’re dead to me!” I scream, braving past her to push the button on the control panel. I know I pushed the right button when the elevator propels us in motion.
“You have no idea how true that statement is.” Her voice is practically a whisper as she straightens her dress and takes a look at her reflection in the metallic wall. “I’m not done with you. Mark my words, in the end you’re going to wish you’d listen to me. When all you love is taken away from you, you’ll remember this day.”
My body shakes watching her backside stride out of the elevator. My knees buckle and sobs destroy my once jovial mood. I slink down, hugging my knees as the elevator doors shut.
What have I done?
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Needless to say, I’ve called out from work since Monday. Maggie has been sympathetic and I’ve even offered to work from home, but she insists that I rest and “get better.” Little does she know my ailment has no cure.
Alex on the other hand has been nothing but helpful and understanding, knowing this is all coming at us so sudden, leaving me a reeling mess. I didn’t tell him about my elevator confrontation with Arianna. I know, I know. I should have. But you have to remember, even though Arianna is bat-shit crazy, Alex’s anger is a whole other level of scary. I would hate to see the two collide.
“Hey, you going to pack or do I need to convince you to move in with me again?” Alex teases, crawling on all fours, landing in front of me. In light blue tattered jeans and a plain white tee, Alex looks casual, relaxed, and ridiculously happy. Not to mention, that devious look in his eye can only mean one thing. He feels frisky. The instant his hand touches my bare ankle, my skin flushes with desire.
He pulls me closer and I squeal with laughter as he pushes me back so that I’m resting on my elbows. My legs fall open wantonly. His fingers roam over my thighs, running over the thin cotton of my shorts and cami. I love the feeling when his stubble brushes against my sensitive belly. I’ll wholeheartedly admit I love playful Alex. This is the new Alex: a person I wasn’t able to enjoy before, but now I can’t get enough of.
I’m desperately trying not to let Arianna get to me, but her words keep replaying over and over again in my mind. Even staying at Alex’s place last night made me uneasy. I tossed and turned, nausea taking over within hours of being there. I used packing as an excuse to stay at my apartment tonight. Of course Alex insisted on helping me, so here we are.
“If you continue to distract me, I’ll never get my stuff packed.” I push against his chest. Alex leans back, sitting on his legs as he watches me pull my clothes back into place.
“You’re just too damn tempting. I can’t help it if my hands have a mind of their own. They either want to be on your tits, playing with your clit or inside you. Or on your belly.” My stomach clenches as his words send a warm sensation all over my body.
“Well, you need to learn to behave yourself. What are you going to do when LJ is here? We’ll never be alone.”
“That’s what babysitters are for,” Alex smirks, again trying to move closer.
“Uh-huh.” I put my foot against his chest stopping him from getting closer. I realize how bad that idea is when Alex grabs hold of my ankle and pulls me into his lap.
Wrapping his arms around me, he mutters against my neck, “Are you deliriously happy yet?”
“Yes,” I murmur before tilting my head up to pull his down for a kiss. I love the taste of him. I love how he knows just how much pressure to apply and how he sucks on my bottom lip. I love the feel of his hands fisted in my hair as he ravages me.
We roll around on the floor like two love struck teenagers for awhile before I remind him that the packing is never going to get done at this rate. Apparently, he really wants us in the same space because at that moment he immediately releases me and resumes packing my books.
After a few minutes, the silence intrigues me. When I peak over at Alex, I confirm my suspicions. I don’t know how long he’s been at it, but when I notice the cover of one of my romance novels, I know he’s been contemplating his next sentence wisely. I watch him, surveying each cover before placing them inside the box. Finally, he looks up and I can’t help my giggle.
“Should we mark this box as porn?” he jokes, allowing me to playfully hit him in his stomach.
“It’s not porn, Alex!” I squeal. “It’s romantic,” I say sweetly as he holds up a book with a shirtless man, his chest glistening with sweat.
“Romantic huh?” Alex flashes his dimpled smirk at me. “God, I must be pretty damn romantic then.”
I laugh. “No…you are barbaric.”
“Barbaric? I can show you barbaric if you want, sweetheart.” He inches closer, his hand roaming over my ass.
“Alex…pack.” I slap his hand away. “Be good.” I pretend to reprimand him, when in reality if he continued to touch me, I’d have
to halt all packing progress and pull down his pants and torture him the way he tortured me.
He feigns pouting as he goes back to my books. “Well, it sure as hell looked like porn when you were reading it the other night. I believe I saw the word cock used at least eight times within two paragraphs. That’s excessive.”
“Cock,” I purr seductively, crawling towards him, climbing over his legs. “Cock,” I repeat as I lift his shirt, kissing the top of his happy trail. “Cock,” I say again, right when Alex sits up to allow me to pull his shirt over his head. “Cock,” I whisper in his ear a final time before running my tongue over his bottom lip. I can feel the rumble from deep inside his chest. “Was that excessive, Mr. James?”
“Fuck. Me.” Alex moans. “That word coming from your sweet mouth is sexy as hell.” Alex pulls me closer so I’m straddling him; his arousal rubbing against my core as he grinds me against him. Alex is gifted when it comes to knowing a woman’s body. He immediately knows where to touch me, how I’ll respond and instinctually builds me up to the brink of insanity before giving me what I need.
As his tongue begins to torture the sweet spot behind my ear, a maddening voice in my head begins to repeat words from earlier in the week. There’s no part of his body that I haven’t touched, licked, kissed. Distractedly, I try to push the thoughts from my head. Not so distractedly, however, that I can’t feel Alex pulling down the neck of my cami to expose my nipple. I close my eyes tightly, trying to focus on his mouth instead of the string of thoughts in my head. I hate that my mind can’t shut it out.
Alex must sense my hesitation because he pulls away. “Elyssa, what’s wrong?” His fingers run over my face, tucking strands of hair behind my ears.
“Just have a lot on the mind,” I lie. Well, technically it isn’t a lie. But, we all know being evasive is just as bad.
He rights my shirt and pulls me closer. Thankfully, he’s smart enough to know that play time is officially over. “You want to talk about it?”
