by Shea Godfrey
“I was considering a walk in the gardens perhaps, though I lack an escort,” Jessa said.
Darry set her goblet on the table and moved back along its length, her eyes never leaving Jessa’s as she did so. Jessa’s smile deepened and she stood and followed on the opposite side.
Cecelia sat down rather heavily, staring after them. Blessed Gamar!
Emmalyn moved into the room as Darry escorted Jessa in the opposite direction. She saw how pale her mother was. “Mother?”
“I’m fine, my darling.”
“You look tired. It’s off to bed for you.”
“I think not,” Cecelia said. “Sit down, my love.”
Emmalyn took the chair opposite.
“We need to talk.”
Emmalyn raised an eyebrow and Cecelia pressed a hand to her right temple as it began to throb. Bloody hell, why didn’t I see it? Why didn’t I see it? Sweet Gamar, what a fool I’ve been.
“Perhaps this is a conversation best had in your chambers,” Emmalyn said.
“For more reasons than one, apparently.”
“Are you finally intending to tell me what in the bloody hell is going on?” Emmalyn asked. “It might be nice to know why my sister walks about like a caged animal. Or why she wears a weapon to her own table?”
Cecelia thought of the dagger on Darry’s silver-studded belt, its leather hilt peeking out from beneath Darry’s jacket. It had been a bold statement and she had not missed it. The knife spoke for Darry’s true feelings.
“Or why for the last three days she has stalked the practice yards in a manner so violent that not even her own men wish to engage her blade?” Emmalyn continued. “Though they have, and I can only guess at the bruises she has as a result. I had to watch today as Jemin McNeely threw her across the yard as if she were a bloody child’s toy, though only after she nearly killed him.”
Cecelia’s chest tightened with pain.
“Aye,” Emmalyn said, trying to read what was in her mother’s gaze other than fear. That in itself was enough to set Emmalyn on edge, but there was something more and she needed to know what it was. “It wasn’t a very comforting thing to watch. Even Bentley was afraid. I don’t think she knew what she was doing. I want answers, Mother, and I want them now. My sister is in pain and refuses to talk to me. I would like to know who caused it.”
Cecelia set her hands on the table and pushed to her feet. “Upstairs, you’re right.”
“Was it…was it you, Mother?” Emmalyn asked, unsure if she wanted an answer.
“Yes,” Cecelia said. “Among others.”
“I’m not going to like this, am I?”
“No, you’re not.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
They walked along the garden path, Jessa glancing over at Darry every few feet. “I’ve missed you since our ride,” Jessa said quietly.
“Yes.” Darry tried to slow her pulse. “I’ve been thinking.”
“About what?”
You. Darry’s mind spoke with a silent groan of distress. Of everything, of course, but mostly you, Jess. Gods, I just want to kiss you. Though it would never be enough.
“Thinking about what?” Jessa asked again.
“I’m not all that sure.”
“Though perhaps I don’t truly wish to know. Perhaps I’m only with you now so that I may find a way to your horse.”
Darry laughed as their eyes met. “Well, you may not have her. Besides, my price would be very high.”
“I would pay it,” Jessa replied.
Darry studied a line of heavy bluebells along the base of the hedge. Just don’t speak at all. Just hold your bloody tongue.
As they moved farther along the turns of the garden path, the scent of foxglove filled the air and mingled with heather. “Perhaps we might go riding again?” Jessa said. “Would that be all right?”
“I would like that very much,” Darry answered.
“You’re not afraid to lose again?”
“Such a thing isn’t possible, I think.”
Jessa pulled the silken shawl from around her shoulders. “You’re somewhat arrogant for one who has lost once already.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Darry said quickly. “I didn’t mean it that way.”
“Then how did you mean it?” Jessa took hold of Darry’s sleeve and gave her arm a gentle shake.
“I only meant…” Darry let out a breath of frustration. “I only meant that there can be no loss in time spent with you, Jessa. In your presence I find only happiness.”
Everything inside of Darry cringed. You’re a complete ass, Darry. She felt a blush creep along her neck, unable to stop it. And I’m trapped; she has me trapped. Seven hells, I think I might die. Where’s the turn to the patio? The fountain? She glanced along the path and recognized virtually nothing. I don’t believe this. I’m fucking lost in my own gardens.
Jessa still held to Darry’s sleeve as they walked. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, sweet Jessa.” Darry winced, realizing she had spoken the endearment aloud.
Jessa closed her eyes. I can’t take this anymore. I’m going to bloody well die.
“Jessa?”
She fought hard to find her tongue. One word, any word. “Yes?”
Darry backed away, and Jessa was forced to let go of her sleeve. “I’m sorry but I can’t do this, and I don’t know how to make it stop anymore.”
Jessa searched Darry’s eyes, a touch of panic tickling at the back of her neck. “Do what? Make what stop, Darry?”
“This.” Darry was cornered and she knew it, and for the first time in her life, she gave in without a fight. “I wanted only to be your friend. And though we’ve not spoken of it directly, I suppose, I understood from the first that you know me to be a backwards woman. That you’ve accepted me with such ease has been a great gift to me. I know the laws in Lyoness and I was afraid you’d be offended.”
She swallowed roughly and continued before she lost her nerve. “And as I said, I wanted only to be your friend. To just be with you. You’re so wonderful, Jess. I’ve never known anyone like you. Seven hells, I did needlepoint and liked it.”
Jessa let out a breath of laughter.
“But there’ve been times when you’ve…” Darry struggled, letting out a heavy breath. “I’m thinking that you didn’t know what you were doing perhaps and I was misunderstanding, though I was hoping as well, I admit that. I don’t know, Jessa. I’m sorry.”
Darry could see that she was making little sense. “And within the grove…” She charged ahead regardless. “I have no words to express how I feel about that, none that will do justice to your compassion. And though I’m still filled with rage…But even so I think, perhaps, that now I have a much greater problem.”
“Might I help you?” Jessa asked, trying to decipher Darry’s words. Please don’t tell me that you’re leaving to find your lost love. The thought had occurred to her but a few hours after they had parted the night of their ride, and it had plagued her without mercy ever since. Don’t tell me that, Akasha. “Or perhaps you meant it, when you said we could no longer be friends?”
“I’m trying to tell you, rather stupidly, I guess, that I don’t know how to be your friend anymore. Because I cannot make this wanting stop.”
Jessa’s heart caught.
“I don’t mean to offend you, truly I don’t, but I can only tell you the truth. I may not understand etiquette as you do, but I know what’s right and wrong. To do less than tell you the truth would be unworthy of you. And I’m fairly certain I’d never survive another pleasant conversation. It’s very hard for me not to say what I want, it always has been. Maybe for others it’s—”
“What truth?” Jessa had no restraint left in her. Whatever would finally happen between them would happen now, one way or another. “Darrius Lauranna, what bloody truth?”
“That I’m dying with want for you, Jess. That I long for your touch, even the slightest brush of your hand. And by that same token, it’s all I ca
n do to keep from just touching your skin.” She closed her hands tight and lowered her eyes. “I’m sorry, Jessa, that I’m not stronger than this. Yet I must confess that these things are the least of my desires where you’re concerned.”
The balance of Jessa’s world was sent reeling and she bit down on the torrent of words that tried to spill free. The silence between them was charged with tension. Jessa saw how absolutely exposed Darry was, standing in wait for her response. Waiting to be rejected.
And so it was that Jessa felt her future unfold before her, and it was more vast and unexpected than she had ever dreamt. Darry wanted her and she had confessed it, her gentle words opening a path through Jessa’s heart that was wide and sprawling and filled with light.
Darry felt utterly lost, waiting for the axe to fall. Bloody brilliant, Darry.
Jessa’s hands slid atop Darry’s, her fingers spreading out and taking hold. “Open your hands, Akasha.”
Jessa caught her breath at the intensity of the gaze. Darry’s hands relaxed and opened at her command. Jessa guided them to her waist and stepped closer as Jessa slid her touch along Darry’s face. “Atta-loosha tu en fanta,” she whispered. “Nessa anna, Darry.”
Darry’s eyes fell to the fullness of Jessa’s mouth. Oh hell, that’s done it, Jess.
“These things you name? They are the least of my desires for you as well.” Jessa felt dizzy to be speaking her desire aloud to the one who was its cause. “And so I would like it very much if you would just kiss me now.”
Darry felt herself bending, unable to question the unexpected words. Just kiss me now. Her blood was rushing and a sweet want blossomed in her as their mouths hovered close. She felt Jessa’s breath against her lips and the warmth of Jessa’s hands on her face. She could smell jasmine and feel the silk of Jessa’s sari like water beneath her touch. Sweet Jessa, if I start I’ll never stop.
“Please,” Jessa asked, “won’t you kiss me?”
Darry brushed her mouth softly against Jessa’s in answer.
The contact was spare as her lower lip teased with its presence, tasting slowly of Jessa’s upper lip. The caress was hesitant at first, until Darry could not stop her tongue from gliding upon its delicate underside and Jessa opened to her, just slightly, just enough.
Her breath passed across Jessa’s lips and Darry felt trembling hands in her hair. She could see the want in Jessa’s eyes, and it was the key that released everything. “This is…a most pleasant development.”
“Yes.” Jessa spoke in a soft breath. “Thank you for finally saying something.”
“Finally?”
“Well, yes, but I didn’t mean you. It’s just that I didn’t know what to do, you see, and I—”
Darry covered Jessa’s mouth, tasting in a slow, sensual manner until her tongue sought entrance. When it was granted and Jessa pulled against her neck, Darry complied.
Jessa felt Darry’s arms slide about her back and the hard thighs against her own, their breasts pressing close. But it was the warm tongue in her mouth that made her weak, the tender strokes and soft lips. The taste of her burst in Jessa’s mouth and she tightened her embrace, instantly wanting more.
A kiss. It was the thing that held Jessa’s life in the balance and her heart beat fiercely at the reality of it. She gasped for breath as Darry pulled her lips away, though they returned for more within the next instant. Jessa followed her want and let her own tongue find pleasure in return. The texture and the heat, the flavor and gentle need, it was everything she thought it might be and more.
Jessa’s knees were weak and her body was no longer truly in her control, her hand touching Darry’s cheek as they gazed into each other’s eyes. She saw the surprise and the need in Darry’s gaze, and the hunger she felt mirrored within herself. She saw the vulnerability as well, hesitation warring with something primal and altogether lovely.
“It’s all right,” Jessa whispered, knowing suddenly that she had absolute power over the moment, over Darry’s need. What happened next was up to her, but having power was not what she expected. It was not what she thought it would be at all, for the only thing she wanted to do with it was give it away. “Don’t stop.” Blessed Vhaelin, please don’t stop.
Darry’s thighs trembled and her blood was rushing. Jessa was so beautiful, her hair loose and dark about her face, her eyes filled with emotion. She could feel the press of Jessa’s breasts against her and how Jessa’s breath came fast. The moment was a singular one and she knew it. It was the second time in but a few days that her entire life had turned on a heartbeat, and the elation she felt now drowned out the heartbreak of the first with a power that might have stopped time.
“Darry.” Jessa’s voice was touched with a sweet misery that her words were not being heeded. “Will I always be having to beg? It doesn’t seem quite fair. If you don’t kiss me again I think I might die. I mean it.”
Darry captured her mouth once more, and Jessa let out a startled sound at the hand at the back of her neck. Jessa surrendered completely, seduced by the lean power in Darry’s body, suddenly at Darry’s mercy and thrilled by it. The muscles of Darry’s arms were hard and moving against her.
Jessa gasped at the pleasure that blossomed between her legs and into her thighs. Darry’s mouth moved hot against her jaw and she tipped her head back. She blinked into the sky above and tried to breathe, the sensations raging through her body more pleasurable than she had imagined they might be. And then her eyelids fluttered as Darry’s mouth opened beneath her left ear and tasted of the skin. Jessa pushed her hips forward. Essa!
Darry’s strong hands eased low on Jessa’s back.
“Drassa…”
Darry waited, her heart pounding as her lips brushed Jessa’s ear. “Yes?”
Jessa’s hand closed hard around Darry’s wrist and moved the touch downward. “Yes,” she whispered. “More, Darry…drassa.”
Darry eased her hands onto Jessa’s buttocks and took Jessa’s mouth in another open kiss that was met with equal passion.
Jessa caught at a jagged breath as Darry’s right thigh slipped between her own, and Darry’s hands guided her against the muscled leg. Jessa gasped at the pressure against her sex, a stab of pleasure following close behind as Darry kissed her yet again. She found Darry’s trousers and pulled, seeking leverage as Darry’s thigh pressed harder and her tongue went deeper. Jessa arched forward with equal heat until they were both breathless.
“I want,” Darry whispered into her mouth, “I want to do things to you, Jessa.”
“What…” Jessa swallowed the taste of her, their lips clinging together. “What sort of things?”
“Wonderful things,” Darry said, her hands cupping and squeezing and her lower body rocking forward.
“Things…things like that?”
Darry let her tongue taste of the shadows just beneath Jessa’s left ear. “Even better.”
Jessa pulled at Darry’s hair and forced her face to rise. “Then do them, Akasha.” Her body was on fire and she wanted more. “Do anything you want, just don’t stop.”
Darry’s blood rose, a quiver of impending release a warning between her legs as Jessa pushed closer against her thigh. The expression on Jessa’s face was beyond beautiful and Darry held her tight, forcing them into a tense stillness. “Sweet seven hells…Jess, wait.”
“Never again. Please don’t stop, Darry.”
“Do you trust me?” Darry’s voice was hoarse as she closed her eyes, pressing her lips to Jessa’s cheek. “Do you trust me?” Please say you do.
Jessa did not understand why the question was asked, her lips claiming a kiss beside Darry’s eye. “I love you, Darry, of course I trust you.”
Darry’s eyes opened and she pulled back.
Despite her uncertainty Jessa had to smile. She had not known that saying the words to Darry would cause such a pleasing swell of sensations. “Was I not supposed to say that yet?”
“You can say it again if you’d like.”
&nbs
p; Jessa’s laughter was filled with delight.
“I love you too, Jess.” Darry smiled. “I didn’t know, but I thought maybe you…I mean, I was afraid you might walk straight, no matter how you looked at me. And I didn’t want to ruin this, before, us being friends, I mean…so I’ve been trying to stop it. Oh, gods, Jess, I’ve been trying so hard.”
“It would seem that you have nothing to fear.” She felt as if she had been thrown across a great distance, just as Radha said she might. “So please stop trying, Akasha.”
“I will, I promise.”
“Did you just…did you just say that you love me too?”
“Yes.” Darry smiled. “Yes, I did.”
When they kissed, Darry’s heart was pounding so wildly that Jessa could feel it in her own mouth. Everything ached and throbbed and Jessa wanted to laugh and cry, though mostly she just wanted more. She pulled away, though, her lips sore in their need for more of the same. “What…what were you about to say before?” Her hands trembled on Darry’s face. She kissed her in a lush, yielding kiss. “Your mouth is so beautiful. And I’ve been wanting to kiss it for so very long. The night of the fête, Darry, it was so not enough.”
“A bed.” Darry’s voice was uneven. “We need a bed.”
“I have a bed,” Jessa said quickly, her fingers upon Darry’s lips, her eyes hazy as she watched the caress.
“You also have a Radha.”
“She’s very old, and a sound sleeper, I assure you.”
Darry laughed. “And could no doubt turn me into a goat should she wake to find you screaming.”
Jessa found it hard to breathe. “Actually, Radha is very fond of goats.”
“Not really the point, love.”
“Will there be screaming?” Jessa asked in a whisper, instantly weak at the thought.
Darry smiled tenderly, her expression so warm and filled with promise that Jessa’s world tilted yet again. “Only of the sweetest sort, my love, I promise.”
Jessa pulled back and Darry loosened her embrace. “Then find us a bed before something inside of me breaks. So we can…Shivahsa.” She sighed and returned to where she had been, kissing her.
