He deepened the kiss but held back from taking more. She tasted sweet with a hint of spice. The faint scent of roses clung to her, reminding him that she was an English beauty. Her lips were soft and cool beneath his. He drew away before he did something he’d regret. Like lift her into his arms and carry her to the couch.
She came with him as if not yet ready to end the kiss.
He smiled. He wasn’t ready to end this either. Even as he berated himself for lack of control, he removed her cap, disappointed when her hair remained pinned in place.
That was probably for the best. The sight would’ve tempted him further.
“You should go.” He replaced the cap as his gaze swept over her. “But I must say I admire your attire.”
Long lashes hid her eyes as she glanced at her clothing. “I didn’t want to risk drawing attention dressed as a lady.”
Did he dare tell her how much attention she’d gain if caught dressed as a lad? “You must take great care. I hope you don’t make a habit of midnight rendezvous.”
“This will be my last. Thank you for returning the letters. It means much to my mother and me.”
“Is she terribly upset about my uncle’s passing?”
She shook her head. “Her interest in him had faded several weeks before his death. She ran into him at a rout, and he mentioned the letters.”
Benjamin scowled. “You mean he threatened her with them?”
“You knew your uncle well.”
“I’m sorry to say the man was no gentleman.” Behavior like that was one of many reasons he’d decided the time had come for a change. Of course his uncle had taunted the marchioness with the letters. He and his son had been scoundrels of the worst sort. “I can’t say I cared for my aunt either.”
“Don’t they say you shouldn’t speak ill of the dead?” Louisa smiled.
“I would say it to their faces if they were still alive. Does that make it better?”
“Honesty is a fine trait.” She bit her lip. “I must go. Thank you again.”
He knew she should leave. He’d already suggested she do so. But he didn’t want her to. Somehow, this goodbye felt permanent since he no longer had anything she wanted. Unable to resist, he gave her one last quick kiss. “Good night, Lady Louisa.”
She disappeared into the night without another word.
~*~
“Louisa. Louisa? Wake up.”
Louisa blinked at the daylight coming in from windows as her mother threw back the drapes. She felt as if she’d just fallen asleep. “What time is it?”
“Half past eight.”
While she normally liked to rise at a respectable hour, sleep had eluded her for the past three nights since her meeting with Benjamin.
Louisa had returned home that evening and unwrapped the package, which contained the letters, just as he’d said. A rogue who acted with honor? What was the world coming to? Now he was all she could think about. Him along with his kisses. A terrible longing had stolen her sleep the past few nights.
“I’m sorry to wake you, but I couldn’t wait another moment to tell you my news.” Her mother sat on the side of the bed, her face shining with joy.
Based on her excitement, Louisa knew what was coming. “You met someone?” She said the words with trepidation, hoping she was wrong.
“Yes! You are such a clever daughter.”
Louisa smiled weakly as she sat up against the pillows. How many times had they shared similar conversations in the past few years? Far too many. Her mother tended to fall fast and hard but fell out of love nearly as quickly.
“I was introduced to the most amazing man last evening.” She tipped her head back, eyes closed, and pressed both hands over her heart.
Oh dear. That was never a good sign.
Louisa studied her mother’s attire, realizing she was still dressed in the gown she’d worn to the gathering she’d attended the previous evening. “Have you just returned home?”
The satisfied smile her mother gave caused a knot to form in the pit of Louisa’s stomach. “I had a delightful evening. I think I’m in love.”
“Do tell.” But Louisa wished she wouldn’t. She loved her mother and wanted to see her happy, but too many times her relationships burnt out as quickly as they burst to life. And often amidst the ashes of extinguished love was a lump of coal that Louisa had to clean up. Was it any wonder she’d prefer a nice, if boring, man to marry?
Before her mother could begin, the door opened, revealing Beth who carried a breakfast tray with two cups followed by a housemaid.
“I rang for chocolate when I arrived home,” her mother explained.
“How thoughtful.” Apparently, Louisa wouldn’t be going back to sleep any time soon. She sighed with regret, sat up further, and adjusted the bedding to protect her from the chill of the room.
But her mother’s enthusiasm made up for Louisa’s lack. She settled against the pillows next to Louisa and took the cup Beth handed her while the housemaid stirred the fire.
“He’s an artist.” Her mother whispered the words after the maids left as if they were a delicious secret. “A painter.”
“Truly?” The news was growing more dire by the moment. Some of her doubt must’ve shown.
“Louisa, do not look so dismayed.” Her mother patted her arm. “I promise you will adore him as much as I do.”
She bit her lip to keep from expressing more doubt. “Tell me about him.”
“He’s French, and he’s so talented.”
“Please tell me he paints landscapes.”
Her mother frowned. “Why would you say that? He paints portraits.”
“Of course.” Why did she so often feel like the parent in their relationship? She set aside her cup to take her mother’s hand. “Promise me you’ll take this slowly. I can see you feel a...connection to this man, but he’s still a stranger.”
Her mother sighed. “I did feel a connection to him all the way to my toes.” She smiled at Louisa. “Haven’t you experienced a moment when a man looks at you and your toes curl? It doesn’t matter whether you know him.”
Heat suffused her cheeks as Benjamin filled her mind. Dear heavens.
“You have,” her mother exclaimed with delight. “You are very much like me.”
Louisa released her mother’s hands to throw back the covers and rise. How she wished her mother would stop saying that. In truth, it scared her to think she might be like her. “We were speaking of you and your painter.”
“Who is he?” her mother asked. “Have I met him? I’m certain it can’t be Viscount Stanwick.”
“His name is Stanich.” Wasn’t it?
“Are you certain?” Her mother waved her hand in the air. “His name is of little consequence. What’s important is how he makes you feel.”
“No, Mother. It’s not.” She turned to face her, anger forcing out the words she normally would’ve held back. “What’s important is whether he is a man of honor. Of good standing. One who won’t ruin a lady’s reputation. Strong emotions only lead to trouble and cause embarrassment and humiliation.”
Her mother gasped as she set aside her cup to stand. “You cannot be serious.”
“I would do well to marry a man like the viscount whose calm nature holds no risks.”
“Only the risk of making the rest of your life miserable. Is that what you want?”
“No.” Louisa covered her face with her hands. She hated disagreeing with her mother. But she also hated picking up the mess when her latest love fell apart. Wasn’t there a middle ground where one could be happy and safe?
“Louisa.” Her mother pulled her hands from her face. “Darling. I only want you to be happy.”
“I know.” But she no longer knew what—or who—could provide that. Not after meeting Benjamin. He’d confused her on an elemental level she had yet to understand.
“Boring doesn’t mean safe.” Her mother placed a hand along her cheek.
“Perhaps. But excitement isn’t t
he same as true love.” She wrapped her arms around her mother. “I want you to be happy, too, Mother. But when you fall in love so quickly, I can’t help but worry it’s only temporary and you’ll be hurt.”
“One can’t experience true joy if one hasn’t experienced pain.”
Why did her words feel more like a curse than wisdom?
Chapter Five
Benjamin entered Brooks’s late the following afternoon, having spent the entire day in a long, painful meeting with his uncle’s solicitor. He desperately needed a drink.
While he considered himself an intelligent man with a good deal of common sense, the list of duties and responsibilities from the various holdings and entailments were intimidating. His uncle’s debts appeared more substantial than he’d anticipated, but he hoped to pay them soon. The idea of trying to preserve and improve the land and holdings for future generations caused an extra burden he hadn’t expected to feel. How could he make decisions when they might prove disastrous for his heirs? Nor had he made any progress in finding a bride.
Being a respectable member of the aristocracy was proving more difficult than he’d anticipated. Life had been simpler when he’d only worried about himself.
“Granger.”
Benjamin turned at his name to see Daniel Walker, Aberland’s younger brother, seated at a table. As Benjamin approached, Walker folded the news sheet he’d been reading and set it aside as he stood to greet him.
“Aberland mentioned you had returned to London.” Walker’s eyes held the same mischievous glint Benjamin remembered from their university days. “Should I offer my condolences or congratulations on your new title?”
“I haven’t yet decided,” Benjamin replied with a smile. “It is certainly an adjustment.”
“I can only imagine. My brother handles his duties with ease now, but I know that wasn’t always the case.” He gestured toward the chair beside him. “Would you care to join me for a drink, or are you headed toward the gaming rooms?”
“A drink would be welcome.” Benjamin took a seat while Walker gestured for a waiter. “Anything of note in the newssheets today? I only had a chance to glance at the headlines this morning.”
“I’ve become hooked on a mystery series they’ve been running. My brother suggested I might enjoy it and now I can’t stand to miss a chapter. I highly recommend it.”
“I’ll be sure to read it. I could certainly use a distraction at the moment.”
The waiter brought their drinks while they caught up with each others’ lives. As the heir presumptive, Walker lived a modest life but always appeared happy. Benjamin had to wonder if he truly was or if he managed to hide his feelings that well.
Benjamin had become adept at doing so in the past two years. Though lately, hiding his attraction to Louisa had proven difficult. She was never far from his thoughts. Thank goodness he hadn’t encountered her at the few gatherings he’d attended in recent days. Whether he was capable of keeping his distance in the future remained to be seen.
They briefly spoke with other acquaintances who passed by, several of whom were headed to the gaming rooms. While all the gentlemen’s clubs along St. James Street offered gambling, the gaming rooms at Brooks’s were busy day and night.
To Benjamin’s surprise, the Marquess of Delham emerged from one of the rooms with several friends.
“How interesting,” Walker said. “The rigid Delham spending the afternoon gambling.”
“Is that unusual?” Benjamin asked.
“I’m not here often enough to know, but I would hazard a guess that it is. His anti-French remarks have offended some.”
“Oh?”
“Rumors say that he made his wife release her French lady’s maid and replace her with an English one.”
“Interesting.”
“Granger. Walker. Good to see you both.”
“Delham.” Benjamin rose to greet him alongside Walker.
“Care to join us?” The marquess swept his hand toward one of the gaming rooms.
Benjamin hesitated. While he wanted to remain on good terms with Delham, he didn’t have any interest in gambling. That was one of the vices he’d set aside. Yet he didn’t care to insult the lord either.
With Walker at his side, he joined Delham and his friends in the gaming room, planning to merely observe. He’d made a promise to himself to avoid such things.
“A game of piquet perhaps?” Delham asked. “Or do you prefer whist?”
“None today,” Benjamin replied with a smile to ease his answer. “I must leave soon as I have another engagement this evening.”
“I would guess it involves a woman,” Delham said with a knowing look. “Your family has quite the reputation.”
Benjamin said nothing as Delham slapped him on the back. Apparently, being at the club loosened the man’s spirit. Perhaps this was the perfect time to gain Delham’s support for an idea that had been on Benjamin’s mind for some time. “Didn’t you mention you knew several men injured in the war?”
“Indeed. Good soldiers, every one of them. Why do you ask?”
“I have a notion of how we might help those who fought so bravely for our country only to return home to struggle.” Benjamin couldn’t have been more pleased at the spark of interest in Delham’s eyes.
~*~
Louisa smiled politely at Viscount Stanich until her cheeks hurt. The lord had far too much to say. From horses to politics, he had an opinion on everything and took any opportunity to share it.
She’d had the faint hope he wouldn’t be in attendance at the Burdett ball. Perhaps the time had come to be less polite to the viscount. Hadn’t anyone told him that listening was as important a part in conversing as speaking?
“Please excuse me,” she interrupted when he drew a breath. “I must speak with my cousin.” She hurried away before he could respond.
“Louisa,” Annabelle said in surprise as Louisa looped her arm through hers.
“You must rescue me from Viscount Stanfinch.” She glanced over her shoulder to make certain he hadn’t followed her.
“Isn’t his name Stanich?”
Louisa closed her eyes briefly at the mistake. “Of course. How silly of me.”
“I thought you liked him.”
“I should like him. He should be perfect.” How disappointing that he wasn’t. Or perhaps the fault lay with her.
Annabelle chuckled. “However?”
“I fear I might commit murder if forced to hear anything more about the horse he wants to buy.”
“But you like horses.”
“I do. I had no idea one could make them as boring as he does.”
“Let us make good our escape.” Annabelle guided her to the opposite side of the ballroom where they could keep an eye on the viscount from a distance. “Perhaps you should give your attention to another man for a time. That might discourage the viscount.”
Louisa considered the notion. “But who?”
Annabelle dipped her head, and Louisa followed her gaze only to catch her breath at the sight of Benjamin.
“No. That’s a terrible idea.” Anyone but Benjamin.
“Why? He’s handsome, titled, and doesn’t seem boring at all.” Annabelle turned to study her. “Your cheeks are flushed, although he hasn’t yet seen you let alone spoken with you. Would you care to explain?”
“It’s warm in here.” But Louisa couldn’t pull away her gaze. Nearly four days had passed since she’d last spoken with him. Time and distance should’ve reduced her attraction to the man, but that didn’t seem to be the case. Where did that leave her? She couldn’t be attracted to a rogue.
“Interesting.” Annabelle pulled Louisa along with her as she moved closer to Benjamin.
“What are you doing?” Louisa whispered.
“Moving into his line of sight in case you decide you wish to speak with him.”
“I don’t.” She found the fortitude to turn away. “Where is Viscount Stanich? I have a question about his horse.�
�
“Lady Louisa. Miss Annabelle. I hope the evening finds you both well.”
Why did his voice send shivers of awareness through her? There was nothing to be done except respond and do her best to hide her ridiculous reaction to him. “Good evening, my lord.”
He looked especially handsome tonight, she thought. His dark hair was swept to the side and brushed the collar of his black coat. She appreciated that his cravat was tied in a simple, less fussy manner than most men favored.
They exchanged pleasantries then Aberland and Caroline joined them. Oddly enough, their arrival didn’t reduce the tension that gripped Louisa.
“Well done, Granger,” Aberland said. “I am impressed.”
“By what?” Benjamin’s brow rose in question.
“I understand from Delham that he’s joining your efforts to create a charity for wounded soldiers.”
Louisa stared at him in surprise. “A charity?”
Benjamin nodded. “Something I intend to oversee myself. So many men were wounded in the war and are in need of assistance. If we can aid their recovery and help them find new ways to function so that they can continue to be valuable members of society, all will benefit.”
“That is a tremendous idea,” Caroline said as Annabelle agreed.
What a surprising action for a rogue to take. Louisa had two cousins from her father’s side who’d been injured in the war. One had lost a limb. To think they could be offered assistance to regain their lives was heart-warming.
“During my travels, I came upon a number of men who were dealing remarkably well with their injuries,” Benjamin said. “I think we can learn from men like them even if they live in other countries. With the right training and a little funding, of course.”
“I don’t know how you managed to convince Delham of your plan, but you did.” Aberland shook his head as if still in disbelief.
“I caught him at a weak moment.” Benjamin smiled.
Louisa noted the twinkle in his eye, but he didn’t expand on his remark, leaving her to wonder.
A rogue who did the right thing and established charities for wounded soldiers? Be still her heart.
A Rogue's Reputation (The Rogue Chronicles Book 2) Page 4
