by Penelope Sky
Desire in Lingerie
Lingerie #7
Penelope Sky
Hartwick Publishing
Desire in Lingerie
Copyright © 2018 by Penelope Sky
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
One
Bones
I sat in my office in Lake Garda, disappointed that the snow in the mountains was starting to melt and reveal the solid ground underneath it. The soil began to reemerge, and the wilted flowers popped out from underneath the freezing layer.
Winter was my favorite season.
Probably because I was already ice-cold.
My scotch sat on the desk in front of me, and I stared at the painting on the wall.
Vanessa sat back on her ankles on the bed, looking just as stunning as she did in real life. Vulnerable, emotional, and beautiful, she was the woman who captured my complete attention the second I laid eyes on her. I kept her pinned under my thumb as long as I could.
The second she slipped away, I lost control.
I hated not being in control.
But with this woman, I didn’t have a choice. She changed all the rules.
I hated her for it, but I respected her for it at the same time.
A man like me wasn’t familiar with love or its implications, but when I stood on that snowy bank, I knew I wasn’t the same man I had been the last time I stood there. Ever since Vanessa crossed my path, I hadn’t been the same.
And I would never be the same.
Once I understood how I felt for her, I didn’t shy away from it or pretend it didn’t exist. I was the kind of man who was always honest, even when I didn’t want to be. If that meant I had to wear my heart on my sleeve, so be it. I wasn’t afraid of anything, even loving a woman. I’d never met a woman I ever loved, so this was new to me. But just because it was new, didn’t mean I was scared of it.
She was the worst person I could possibly fall for. I hated her family and all the pain they’d caused me. I even hated her a little bit too. I would always be envious of what she had, the love of two complete parents and wealth that would last a lifetime.
While I lived on the streets.
But whatever I felt for this woman was stronger than that. It was enough to conquer all the hatred inside my chest. It was enough for me to let go of the vendetta I promised myself I would fulfill. I knew her family would never like me, and I would never like them, but she should have made the sacrifice for me.
I made the sacrifice for her.
I was furious with her, but my rage wasn’t enough to conquer the pain inside my chest. It wasn’t enough to mask the longing, the loneliness. My bed wasn’t comfortable anymore, and the solitude I once enjoyed was now suffocating.
I stared at the picture, feeling connected to the woman who’d stolen my heart.
I despised her. Hated her. Loathed her.
But fuck, I loved her.
I tried to convince her she was being stupid, but that stubborn woman wouldn’t change her mind. Now it’d been a week since I grabbed the painting and left her apartment. I’d hoped she wouldn’t be able to fight the heat in her veins and would take me to bed. The second I was inside her again, our sick relationship would start all over.
But she didn’t.
She didn’t want me. She wanted a good man to bring home to her family, a gentleman who would open doors for her and earn his living honestly. She wanted someone with manners, someone who smiled.
Basically, a man nothing like me.
She could try to force it as much as she wanted, but it wouldn’t work.
She didn’t want a good man.
She wanted me.
She judged me for what I did for a living, but I knew she respected my power. My tattoos were intimidating to her, but she found them sexy. She was scared of all the components in my life, but at the end of the day, I was the only man on this earth who could make her feel safe.
She was a powerful woman, and she only wanted a powerful man.
But she would never find a man more powerful than me. She would never find a man of my size and strength. She would never find someone who could scare off a group of men just by flashing them a glare.
She would never find someone who could make her come the way I did.
She knew that deep inside her chest, even if she tried to convince herself otherwise.
I was everything she needed.
Two
Vanessa
Bones didn’t contact me again after he left my apartment.
And I knew he wouldn’t.
He was livid with me, and he wouldn’t chase me. I’d pushed him far enough away that there was no coming back. All I had to do was not contact him and this would be over…eventually. I had to stay strong.
Tonight was my date with Matteo, the man whose father was friends with my father. I knew what he looked like, but it was pretty much a blind date. I knew he owned some businesses and he knew I was an artist, but that was the extent of our knowledge of each other.
I was nervous.
I was never nervous before a date, regardless of how handsome the man was. I wasn’t easily intimidated, and I had the confidence that I could handle anyone.
But Bones was on my mind.
I felt guilty for what I was doing. I felt like I was betraying him, betraying the promise of fidelity we’d made to each other. He was the only man I wanted to sleep with. When I pressed my hand between my legs, I always imagined that he was there with me.
That he was the man between my legs.
I wouldn’t even have considered going on a date until my mom dropped this in my lap. I was eager to move on from Bones so the pain would end, and since I couldn’t go back to him, this was the only way forward.
I wished I’d never let my relationship with Bones get this bad.
There was literally no one worse I could have fallen for.
How did I let this happen? I was smarter than this.
I had to keep moving forward. Maybe Matteo would be everything I wanted in a spouse, and we would fall in love and have the kind of marriage I wanted. My father would love him, and my mother would embrace him as a son. We could live happily ever after…the future I always imagined. And maybe he would be enough to make me forget about Bones.
I drove to the restaurant and sat in my car for a little bit, trying to calm the nerves that had fired up. My chest ached with all the breaths I took, and my adrenaline was at its peak. The guilt was crushing me, making me feel squashed under its weight.
I finally got out of my car and walked to the restaurant. It was an Italian place, not super fancy like the restaurant I went to with Bones, but that was a relief. I didn’t need even more pressure for this evening.
I stepped through the doors and looked at the sea of tables. It didn’t take me long to find him. He was sitting alone at a table, wearing a black V-neck with a black blazer on top. He had tanned skin from spending time outdoors, and his black hair was short, similar to the way my father wore his. His brown eyes stared across the room, looking at nothing in particular. He wasn’t on his phone the way most people would be, which was refreshing. He had a strong jaw the way the Barsetti line had, but it wasn’t as chiseled as Bones’s. Matteo had a nice physique and obviously spent time being active outdoors because he looked fit, but he was definitely on the leaner side, not built like a brick house the way Bones was.
I had to stop comparing them. Otherwise, I would never get through this date.
>
I crossed the room and approached his table. “Matteo?”
He looked up, and his eyes lightened noticeably. He rose out of his chair, a handsome smile on his face. “Yes. Vanessa.” He started to lean in to kiss me on the cheek.
Just that affection alone felt like a betrayal, so I quickly stuck out my hand and shook his, even though it wasn’t customary in our culture at all.
He didn’t show a hint of disappointment as he shook my hand. “Thanks for joining me.” He moved to the other side of the table and pulled out the chair for me.
I smiled then sat down, feeling my heart pound in my chest. Bones never did that sort of thing, but that was because I didn’t need him to. I could sit in my own damn chair without someone to help me.
Matteo returned to his chair and sat down.
The bar was behind him, where a row of men and their dates sat as they enjoyed wine and appetizers while they waited for their tables to be ready.
It was immediately awkward. That comfortable silence I shared with Bones wasn’t present, nor was that hot intensity. It was just…quiet. I couldn’t still my beating heart. I couldn’t remember the last time I was this nervous. I felt like a woman who’d just gotten divorced and now I was putting myself out there again. My relationship with Bones had been short, only three months, so it never felt like a marriage.
But it felt like I’d lost someone important.
Matteo didn’t seem bothered by the silence, possessing the kind of confidence my mother hinted at. “I’ve never been set up on a date before. My mom has tried in the past because she’s anxious for me to start a family, but it’s never been my thing. But when your mother told me about you…I couldn’t say no.”
My heart beat a little faster, but my cheeks didn’t flush with color. “That’s sweet…”
“And you’re just as beautiful in person.” He grabbed the bottle of wine on the table. “May I pour you a glass? It’s from the Barsetti Vineyards, so I think you’ll like it.”
I smiled. “Please.” I liked the way he masked his intimate compliment by offering me something to drink so it wouldn’t feel so tense.
He poured the glass then returned the bottle to the table. “You like red?”
“Both.”
The corner of his mouth rose in a smile. “Good answer. I do too.”
Now that we’d pushed through the beginning of the conversation, it didn’t feel so awkward anymore. He seemed charming, polite, and not overly attentive. He was a handsome man who could get a woman anywhere at any time, so I knew he didn’t need this date. He was only there because he wanted to be.
“My father has nothing but good things to say about yours. He says he’s a very respectable man. He’s honest and full of integrity. It’s one of the reasons my father is such a fan of your wine, not necessarily because his customers like it, but because it comes from a good place.”
This conversation couldn’t be more different from the ones I’d had with Bones. He hated my family and wanted them all dead. He even despised me because of everything I had and he didn’t. Bones rarely had anything nice to say at all, unless he was complimenting the way I looked when he was between my legs. “Thank you. That’s very nice of you to say. My mother had nothing but good things to say about your family too.”
He smiled slightly. “I get the impression your father is very protective of you. When my father mentioned to yours about this date, it didn’t seem like he wanted to talk about it.”
“Yeah…it’s hard for him. When I was growing up, boys weren’t a part of my life. He got better at it when I moved away, but he’s still not comfortable with it. It wasn’t until Christmas that he told me he was willing to meet a man I loved if I thought I would marry him someday. And I knew that was hard for him to say.”
Matteo nodded in understanding. “You’re his only daughter. Doesn’t surprise me. And just to let you know, I’m a pretty nice guy. I know I’m biased because I’m me, but I’m transparent. My reputation means a lot to me, especially since my family is well known and respected. If I ever did anything stupid, my father doesn’t think I’m too old for an ass-kicking. And I know your father would come after me hard, so I’m not looking for trouble.” He smiled at me, trying to keep the conversation light.
“Good to know.”
He picked up his menu and took a look. “The gnocchi is good here. I recommend it.”
“Is this place one of your restaurants?”
He chuckled. “No. God, that would be lame…”
I chuckled too, liking the way he didn’t take himself too seriously. I looked at my menu then felt my phone vibrate on the table. I turned to look at it to put it away, knowing having my phone out was extremely rude, but then I saw his name on the screen.
Bones.
Baby, he’s too scrawny for you.
My heart had finally slowed down once the introductions were made, but now it was hammering deep inside my chest even more. Adrenaline spiked through me, and my mouth immediately went dry with fear.
My eyes scanned the restaurant while Matteo looked at the menu. He was unaware of what was going on, thankfully. I looked around at the tables, but I didn’t see Bones anywhere. Was he there? Was he looking through a window? Was someone else watching me and relaying the information to him?
Matteo kept looking at his menu. “I’ve been meaning to try something else, but the gnocchi is just so good that I’m going to get it again.” He set the menu down then drank his wine. “What about you?”
I didn’t have an appetite—at all. I grabbed my menu and picked something at random. “I’ll give the chicken parmesan a try.”
“Not a bad idea.”
I set the menu down but couldn’t stop my hand from shaking. Bones was staring at me right then, watching the fear creep into my face. He was a terrifying man, and the last thing I wanted him to do was hurt Matteo. Matteo was just an innocent person who made the mistake of going on a date with me. I couldn’t let anything happen to him.
“I really loved your painting,” Matteo said. “It’s the one with the red bicycle leaning up against the wall in front of the restaurant as the sun sets. The colors were fantastic. When I looked at it, I thought I was feeling that heat from summer even though it’s been so cold lately…truly amazing. Any woman who could paint something so beautiful must be beautiful in every other way too.”
I listened to his compliment but didn’t really pay attention. “Thank you. There’s nothing I love more than to paint, and it’s wonderful to share that with other people.”
“Connects you to strangers,” he said. “Like I said, I don’t do setups. But when I saw your photograph and your painting…I couldn’t meet you quick enough. I wanted to meet you before you had a chance to meet someone else and I missed my shot.”
He flattered me again, which was surprising considering how good-looking he was. He had the perfect features that I liked in a man. I liked the traditional Italian appearance, with dark hair and skin. Bones looked nothing like that, but I’d never been so attracted to a man as I was to him. I’d described Matteo as perfect, but now he didn’t compare to the man who wasn’t right for me. “That’s flattering…” I forced a smile even though I didn’t feel it.
“I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable. But like I said, I’m transparent. You never have to wonder what I’m thinking.”
I never had to wonder what Bones was thinking either. I could just read it off his face. “What are you looking for in a woman at this time of your life?” I asked the question bluntly, out of curiosity. Attractive men like him usually just wanted good sex with no commitment. If that was all he was interested in, that was fine with me.
He shrugged. “I’m not sure. Sometimes I meet someone, and there’s a connection. We have a short-term fling that’s full of passion and heat. But then I lose interest and move on to the next woman. But I’m always looking for the right woman to settle down with. I’m not necessarily in a hurry, but if I met her, I wouldn’t
let her go.” He stared at me with brown eyes, his gaze slightly intense. It wasn’t full of the power that Bones possessed, but it held a sliver of it. “May I ask what you’re looking for?”
Matteo said he would be transparent with me, so I decided to be the same with him. “I just got out of an intense relationship. We had a deep connection. But I ended things because I didn’t see a future with him.”
Matteo listened to every word without blinking.
“So I’m not sure what I’m looking for right now, whether it’s just a fling or something more. But I know if I’m ever in a relationship again, I won’t make the mistake of being with a man I don’t want to marry, regardless of how passionate we are.”
“That makes sense.”
“I made the mistake of letting a fling grow into something more. Next time, I’ll end it before it gets there. Because I am looking for the man I want to spend my life with. I want kids, and I want a husband who will be close to my family. I enjoy good sex with men I meet, but I don’t want to waste too much time on them.”
He drank his wine then gave a nod. “Looks like we’re one and the same.”
My phone vibrated again. He’s not good enough for you. Not even close.
I immediately locked the phone so the screen would turn black, not wanting Matteo to see it. Now I wondered if Bones could hear everything I was saying. But if that was the case, he would have to be very close.
My eyes scanned the room again.
“Except for the man part,” he said with a chuckle.
My eyes turned back to him, having no idea what that meant. “Sorry?”
“You said you like sleeping with the men you meet, but you don’t want to waste too much time on them…I said I feel the same way, except the man part.”
“Oh…” If I hadn’t been distracted by the message, I wouldn’t have made myself look like a fool. “Of course.”
He swirled his wine as his smile faded away. His eyes pierced mine, but he didn’t pressure me about my slipup.
