“Oh, God.” I arch my back, wanting so desperately to feel more, squirming against the hand that rubs between my legs.
“You’re wet for me, aren’t you?” He draws back his head, looking me directly in the eye. Lifting my hands, I place one on either side of his head, drawing him in, placing a soft kiss against his lips.
“These lips fit so perfectly together.” I whisper my words against his lips, continuing his earlier analysis. “And this.” I allow my hand to drift to his waistband, slipping it inside and grabbing his erect cock. “This fits just perfectly in my hand too,” I breathe.
“Touché,” he muses with a thrust of his hips, his cock moving subtly in the palm of my hand. His lips crash hungrily against mine, with hot, fiery passion. With every taste of him, with every assault on my senses I lose myself to this man.
Dropping my ass from the windowsill, I release my hand, pulling it from his pants. I rest my shaking palms against his chest, forcing him to stumble back toward the bed. The back of his legs finally meet with the bed and he falls back, a little ungracefully, taking me with him. I lie on top of him, my chest hurts from laughing so hard. Laughter rumbles through his chest and his smile reaches his eyes. I love to see him smiling. Too often he carries this dark stormy look, but it’s significantly less when we are together. I hold his gaze and smile brightly. My heart is full, and it’s all because of him. I love the way he runs his hands through my hair. I love the way he listens to me and shows that he cares. I love all the little things about this rugged man. A man who has clearly never been shown love, and someone that without a doubt deserves to be loved. The problem is, I’m scared.
Scared to tell him how I truly feel.
“What?” he asks with narrowed eyes. “You’re thinking of something, aren’t you?" See, that smile is fading and an almost serious look is replacing it.
I take a deep breath, shaking off the look he said I’m wearing and replace it with a small smile.
Jesus, Tara, get it together.
“Sorry,” I softly whisper. “Just… this… us,” I sigh, nervous at the thought that I could ruin what we have. “I hate the sneaking around too. That everyone has an opinion on us, like we are committing a crime.” I become more animated, sliding from him, crossing my legs as I face him. “I thought once Carter was out of the picture that you and me, well, we’d be able to have a normal relationship.”
“Is that what this is?” He rolls onto his side, holding his head up with his hand. His eyes widen a little. “A relationship?”
Shit.
My face blanches and my mouth becomes parched. What the hell am I supposed to say? I swallow, hoping that something will come from my mouth. That my brain will register some kind of response.
“Fuck, Tara. Speak, goddamn it.”
I do the only thing I can think of. I shift my legs, resting on my knees. Reaching forward, I cup the side of his face, closing the space between us. I allow my eyes to flutter shut as my lips meet his, pressing gently, moving and savoring this kiss. I deepen the contact. His hand lands heavy on the back of my head, pulling me close and intensifying the contact. Adrenaline surges through my veins as I unfold in his touch. Being with Nate is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. His hands grab a hold of my hair as he separates from the kiss and his lips find my neck.
“I need to get you out of these fucking clothes.” His voice is low and I watch as he steps from the bed, sliding off his vest. He stands at the side of the bed, reaching for the neck of his t-shirt, pulling it over his head. I admire the view. His toned torso is covered completely in a plethora of tattoos. Nate is hot in a way you rarely find. He is lean—muscular like a well-trained athlete. Only, his tattoos are something else. Every one designed by himself.
I follow his lead, grabbing the hem of my tank top, ready to pull it off.
“Stop right there,” he demands.
“What?” I say with a chuckle. “Why?”
“That’s my job and I want to savor every second of removing every inch of clothing that stands between us.” He works at unfastening the buttons on his jeans before letting them fall to the floor, pooling around his feet.
Leaning back on my elbows, I can’t help but bite the corner of my lip. The excitement grows as I feel my clit pulsating; so much so I have to clench my thighs together. He leans closer, his body hovering over mine. I yelp as I feel his hands grab my waist, dragging me across the bed, my ass resting on the edge. I lift my legs, wrapping them around his waist in an attempt to stop me falling. His palm rests on my stomach, slowly grazing my goose bump-covered skin. I tremble with trepidation as his hand slides under my tank top. He grabs my top, lifting it until he has it pulled over my head. His eyes burn into me and I can’t help but feel completely at his mercy. My heart beats faster and my body aches for more. I let my eyes drift shut, but force them back open again because I don’t want to miss a second of this. I can’t take my eyes off him.
His hand finds my breast, his mouth now touching mine. I lock my hands together behind his head, drawing him into me. Over and over he grazes his thumb slowly over my nipple; the torture of wanting, needing more, almost too much to take. I moan, arching my back as he works over and over. His free hand reaches behind, unclasping my bra before sliding it down my arms and throwing it to the floor. He peppers kisses across my cheekbone, and down my neck. My body tingles as he makes me feel alive—more alive than I’ve ever felt before.
“I need you so bad,” I whisper as my heart explodes in my chest, desperate to tell him those words that sit constantly on the tip of my tongue.
“You got me, babe. Always.”
Just when I thought my heart couldn’t possibly beat any harder or any faster.
THUD. THUD. THUD.
Drawing back his head, he looks me in the eye, giving me a look that gives me a chill. Holding that look, I suddenly blurt out the words I’d been so scared to say.
“I love you, Nate.” The words are barely audible as I force them out.
His body stills, like he just saw a ghost or some shit. “What did you say?” he asks with a tilt of his head, his eyes narrow and the dark look in his eyes is back.
“Uh, never mind,” I say, grabbing the back of his head and trying to pull him toward me.
“Don’t you dare,” he growls, grabbing my hand and placing it at the side of my head. He takes the other one and holds it until I’m completely pinned down by him. “Did you, uh, just say you love me?” he asks, clearing his throat.
“So what if I did?” I spit back. “I do love you, Nate. I’m owning that shit because I know you feel the same way too.”
“No one,” he replies with a shake of his head. “No one has ever said that to me before.”
“Really?” I challenge him, drawing in my brows and scrunching up my nose.
“Really,” he softly replies. “My father isn’t exactly the love proclaiming type, and well, I never really had a mother figure.”
I shoot him a sad smile.
“Baby, what I feel for you is something special. Something I’ve never experienced before. But saying those three words, well, it just doesn’t feel right. Because I have no idea what love is.”
“This.” I point between us. “This is love, Nate.”
“I’m not sure someone like me, someone so fucked up, is even capable of love.”
“You are more than capable. The way you make me feel, the way we fit together so perfectly, that’s love.”
Without saying another word, he bends his head and our mouths crash together with need. He presses his erection into my core while releasing one of his hands and grazing his fingers across the delicate skin on my stomach, stopping at the waistband of my jeans. He flicks open the button, tugging on them until they are around my ankles. I wiggle my legs, dropping them to the floor. His hand snakes inside the seam of my panties, pulling them to one side. He works his hand up and down my folds, catching my clit over and over. I need this so badly. I feel just how engor
ged my clit is. Each contact is like a spark igniting in my body. I can feel how wet I am. So damn wet. My excitement is clearly evident as he slides his fingers inside of me.
“I need to taste you, baby,” he mumbles, shifting until his head is between my legs. Grabbing my ass, he positions my legs over his shoulder and I drop my head back at the feel of his warm breath against my sex. He slowly blows, causing an almighty shudder to wrack through me. His tongue darts out, making contact with my clit. I buck in reaction to the intensity.
Holy shit.
Thrusting a little, I encourage his touch, his tongue licking and lapping at my clit. Pressing his fingers inside, he pumps rhythmically, spurring on my movements. He’s fucking me with his tongue and fingers and I love it. I feel the muscles in my stomach tighten as the excitement grows painfully uncontrollable.
“Come for me, Tara,” he demands, his voice strained and raspy.
Arching my back as the pressure mounts, I moan out loud. He takes my clit into his mouth, sucking before releasing it with a pop. One more stroke of my clit with his tongue and I can no longer stop the pressure from building. An explosion of absolute pleasure buzzes through every inch of my body; the pulsating feeling between my legs stronger than anything I’ve experienced before. The hairs on my body stand on end and I blink down, trying to clear my vision.
Still coming down from my orgasm, I feel the bed dip as Nate sits beside me, completely naked. His hard cock rests up against his toned, tattooed stomach and I know the best is yet to come. Lifting me, he positions me on his lap and I have to grab his shoulders to steady my slightly weakened body. His hands land heavily on my ass and the contact echoes through the room. I’m straddling him as he grabs a handful of my butt cheeks. Pulling me closer, he positions me over his pulsating hardness. I shudder at the feel of him, as his hard, toned thighs ripple beneath me. Releasing my ass, he grabs the back of my head, drawing my lips closer to his.
“Taste yourself on my lips.”
With one last tug, our lips meet and I kiss him with everything I have. I can taste myself, but it doesn’t stop me from deepening the kiss. I dart out my tongue, stroking it against his as the fire ignites. Reaching down, I wrap my hand around his straining cock, squeezing and tugging until small moans escape from his mouth. He thickens in my hand, letting me know he’s ready for this. I allow my legs to part wider, ready to take him in. Our kisses become eager, just like my need to feel him inside me. The earlier build is back and more powerful than before. Grabbing the base of his shaft, I line him up at my entrance, sliding down on his cock, all the while staring into his mesmerizing eyes. Settling down, he fills me completely and I start to clamp around him. Thrusting upward, we join together in rhythm and in love. At this moment, when our bodies are fused together, I have no doubt that he is the one. The one that owns my heart and fills it to bursting point. Strong, deep thrusts have me crying out.
“Oh, Nate,” I cry, grasping onto the back of his neck as we work together, both of us trying to find our release. His hands dig into my hips as he works me up and down, intensifying the connection. Leaning into him, I feel the beat of his ragged heartbeat reverberating through me. He feels the connection just as much as I do. I know it. This moment here, where our hearts beat in time and our bodies mold together effortlessly… well, this is uncomplicated, pure, undeniable love. I want to hold on tightly to this feeling, never letting go. We are meant for each other. And with every touch, every thrust, the love I feel for him deepens. I just know there is no going back from this.
I’m completely lost in him.
Tipping my head back, I pick up the speed. His thrusts are now more powerful, hitting me deep in the core. My moans fill the room, but I’m not ashamed in the slightest.
“Fuck, Tara. I’m close, so damn close,” he says breathlessly. Slowing his speed, he changes from short, faster thrusts to deeper, all-consuming ones.
I let out a moan mixed with a gasp at the feel of him so deep. His hand reaches to the back of my neck, grabbing tightly as he continues his onslaught of deep, punishing thrusts. The pleasure spirals higher and higher until I feel the deep clenching in my stomach and I come apart around him. He lets out a moan of his own, filling me as he works through his own orgasm. Dropping back on the bed, he takes me with him, turning onto his side until we are face-to-face.
“Your cheeks are flushed, baby,” he informs me in a soft voice, his rugged knuckles graze over them.
Fluttering my eyelids, I can’t help but wrap my arms around him, needing and wanting to be close to him. “You did that,” I reply before rolling my bottom lip into my mouth. Covering his hand that rests on my cheek, I grab hold, directing it down and placing it on my bare chest. “You also did that,” I say as we feel the thudding of my heart. My eyes trail from the connection with his, down to his throat, noticing just how hard it is for him to swallow. Hooking a finger under my chin, he lifts my head until I’m focusing on his lips. Darting out his tongue, I sense his nervousness. He parts his lips, as if to speak, but no words leave his mouth. I watch as he forms the words.
I love you.
Those are the three words he mouths to me.
“You know I mean it, right?”
A smile spreads across my face and I can hardly believe he decided to make the proclamation. “I knew it, even before you said it.”
“Well, technically, I didn’t say it,” he muses, a look of amusement on his face. “I’m crazy about you, Tara,” he declares and my heart soars. “And if that means I love you, fuck it, I’ll say those three words. Because this feeling I have right now, being here with you, holding you, is the only feeling that means anything. You mean everything.” His voice wavers and I know just how much it takes for him to tell me how he’s feeling.
“That means more than you’ll ever know,” I whisper, leaning in and kissing him sweetly on the lips. “Stay with me tonight. Hold me. Forget about the crew and your asshole father. Tonight, let it just be about us.”
“You and me, baby. That’s all that matters.”
TARA –
In ruins…
Looking out of my apartment window, I see Nate on his bike, looking up at my window. I hold up my hand, giving him a wave before grabbing my purse and racing out of the apartment. I let the door slam shut behind me, so desperate to get down to him. It’s been less than twenty-four hours since I last saw him, but every hour without him feels like a day. He’s like a drug, and I, for one, certainly need my Nate fix. Skipping down the steps, I barge toward the door, throwing it open, and sprint over to him.
“Hey,” I greet him sweetly, automatically wrapping my arms around his neck, wanting to take in his unique scent. I rest my head on his shoulder and his hand lands on my arm as he caresses it softly.
“Hey,” he mumbles in a somewhat sad tone. I pull back from our embrace, my heart beating and a sudden knot in my stomach. I search his hardened face for an answer, noticing his long hair is down.
With a tip of my head and an ear-to-ear smile, I say, “Liking the hair.”
Ignoring me, he reaches for the helmet on the back of his bike, handing it to me. “Jump on,” he instructs, pulling his helmet on and reaching for the handle, revving the engine a little.
“What’s happening? Where are we going?” I ask in a strained voice, confused by his sudden coldness toward me.
“Fuck, Tara. Just get on the damn bike.”
I swallow the lump in my throat, raise an eyebrow, and grab the helmet out of his hand. I can’t help but be flooded with the feeling that something is going on. Standing here isn’t going to get me answers, so I raise my leg, mounting the bike. The sudden scent of Nate hits me as I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head against his back like I’ve done many times before. Only this time is different. I feel him tighten in my hold, his whole body feels stiff. I furrow my brow in confusion but maintain my hold on him.
Shivering, I’m not sure if it’s the cool night air, or a reflection of the anxiety I’m
feeling deep inside. Everything about this is so weird, so very different to the Nate I know and love.
Nate revs the engine before kicking back the stand and taking control of the bike. It’s so natural for him, like the bike is an extension of his own body. He sets off; the rumble of the engine holds so many memories for me. We often drive out of town, or into the middle of nowhere just to spend time together. Out of sight, just the two of us.
Only tonight, I have no idea where we are going, or what the hell is happening for that fact. All I can do is hold onto him and see where the road takes us.
After a short drive, we head down a familiar country lane. I gasp, trying to wrap my head around why we are here. Waiting until the bike stops, I quickly jump down, removing my helmet and shaking out my hair.
“What the hell?” My eyes scan the area. The huge metal gates have been replaced and the house I once knew as my cousin’s no longer looks the same. “Why are we here? Is this some kind of sick joke?” I ask, my eyes firmly on him as he steps off his bike but leans back against it. “Here, of all places?” Shuddering, I fold my arms across my chest, remembering the last time we were in that place.
The time my own psycho cousin almost killed me.
When Brax, Nate, and I went to rescue Isabelle.
And he’s brought me here. A place that holds so many awful memories. Memories I’ve been able to shut out because I haven’t been forced to deal with them.
“It’s not a sick joke, but since this is the place where it all started, then it seems only fair that this is where it ends.”
Ends?
What the fuck?
Adrenaline is pounding through my body and I can feel myself tremble. “Stop with the goddamn riddles and just tell me what you’re talking about, Nate.”
Focusing on me, Nate wears a haunted look and the dread and fear I felt on the way here has materialized into reality.
The complete scars series: Books one-four Page 41
