“Tara,” Nate says with a husky voice, his head downturned as he watches me take his cock in my hand. Leaning closer, I swirl the tip of his cock with my tongue, the male scent hitting my senses. I can tell Nate is shocked. His eyes still on me and his hands resting against the wall. I take him in my mouth, licking and teasing while working my hand up and down his shaft.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” he groans, his cock thickening in my hand. “Don’t know how long I’ll last with you sucking me like that, baby.”
Knowing how much he’s enjoying my lips around his cock, I deepen the contact and feel him working with my rhythm, thrusting deeper into my mouth. He clenches his eyes shut as he speeds up the movement, the tip of his cock meeting the back of my throat. I’ve never really appreciated the feeling of fellatio before, but knowing I’m the one that makes him so hard, so desperate to reach his orgasm, all under my control is a huge turn-on. My sex pulsates as I continue to work and taste Nate. I dip one hand between my legs, finding my pronounced clit, rubbing it in time with Nate’s thrusts.
“Fuck,” Nate groans, pushing himself away from the wall.
“What?” I ask wondering what I was doing wrong. He pulls me upright, pressing me back against the wall.
“I don’t want to finish this way. I want you, Tara. All of you and as much as I can get.” Removing his boots and jeans completely, walking me backward, his lips press against mine repeatedly. The back of my legs meet the edge of the bed and I fall back onto the bed, pulling Nate on top of me.
A laugh rumbles through his chest, vibrating against mine. He stares at me momentarily, the look of wanting in his eyes. “I’m never going to be without you.” His chest heaves. “I didn’t think I’d ever feel this way about someone. Then you came along and turned my whole world upside down, in a good way. I never had a mom, a strong female figure in my life. But you… you’ll be the best fucking mom I know.”
“I never had a father figure, not one that I remember.” My body starts to shake. “I want to meet him, Nate. Make a decision for myself whether he’s someone I want in my life.”
“What?” he asks, his tone angry and his brows pulled together.
“He’s my real dad, Nate. Mom opened a chapter of my life I never knew existed when she told me the truth. It’s a chapter I have to decide whether to close or not.”
Rolling from me, Nate sits upright, clutching his hands together as he positions himself on the end of the bed. “I can’t let you get attached, baby. He’s not a good man. He’s just like my father. Trust me when I say that even though he’s your father, according to your mom, you are better off without him.”
“What if he’s different around me? What if he’s not as bad as you think?”
“Enough,” he roars and I jerk back at the ferocity of his voice. “You’re only going to get hurt.” His voice is lower now, almost sad.
I place my hands across his shoulders. “I know you want to protect me, but I have to do this.”
“Why?” He jumps up from the bed, grabbing his boxers and sliding them on. “There is some serious shit going on between the Deathseekers and us. He won’t be around for much longer.”
“I don’t know why,” I snap. “I just feel like I have to do something. I have to see the monster for myself before I can move on.”
He pulls up his boxers, sighing heavily. “You know what this means for your mom. I get it. You’re angry with her, but she doesn’t deserve to be a target for Brewer. She has trusted you with a secret she kept for over twenty years.”
“So you’re Mom’s biggest fan now, huh? Because I always thought you despised her.”
“Baby, you’re angry. But please don’t turn this into an argument between us.” He steps forward stopping beside the bed right in front of me. He reaches his hand out to touch my arm but I pull away. My body shakes as anger mixes with confusion. I look up at him, not knowing what to say. I want him to understand. I want him to agree with me about Brewer.
“Don’t pull away from me, baby,” he pleads. But before I can reply, the sound of his cell ringing interrupts us. His sad eyes break the connection as he turns to grab his pants, pulling out the phone.
“Yeah.”
Silence.
His face blanches and I suddenly feel my throat dry.
“I’m on my way.”
“What is it?”
“Trouble. I gotta go.” He rushes at a pace I’ve never seen before, clearly something serious is going on here. I don’t ask any more. I step off the bed, grabbing my bathrobe and follow him down the stairs.
“Do you need me to do anything?”
“Stay here. I’ll call you, okay?”
“Oh, God, Nate… this doesn’t sound good. Please, whatever you do, stay safe.”
My heart pounds and fear courses through my veins as my mind plays over thoughts of what might be happening.
Standing at the bottom of the stairs I cross my arms feeling completely in the dark and helpless. Nate opens the door only to pause for a second. He turns, stepping back over to me and kissing my lips lightly, his arm wraps around my lower back and pulls me into him. I kiss him back, praying it won’t be long before he’s back in my arms.
“Bye, baby.”
He closes the door and I slide down onto the bottom step, resting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. Realization dawns on me that being with Nate, as long as he’s part of the MC, will be a roller coaster of emotions. Inhaling deeply, I try to calm the dread I feel in the pit of my stomach. I don’t think I’ll ever not worry about him. Not while he’s part of the MC.
Nate
Rage courses through every fiber of my body. As I arrive at the farmhouse, I see the truck and my guys’ motorcycles parked outside.
“Man, thank fuck you’re here,” Zane shouts over to me as I kick out the stand and jump down, walking and unfastening my helmet at the same time.
“What the fuck happened, man?”
“We pulled up, ready to unload the crates, only to be met with bullets. I had no idea what was happening, man. The huge van fired round after round at us as they tried getting into our truck. They must’ve known it was drugs, man.”
“You get a look at them?”
“Nah, they all had masks on. Luckily Roach shot one of them. Bullet through the windshield. It got them fleeing from here. But I don’t know if they’ll come back armed and ready.”
“We have to get the drugs away from here. And the old man?”
“He’s dead, brother. Bullet to the chest. He didn’t make it.”
“FUCK!” I roar so hard my throat hurts.
“Jimmy took a bullet to the arm. He’s okay, doesn’t seem serious.”
I storm inside the old farm building, my men gathered round, placing a blanket over Chester’s body.
“Fuck, boss, it’s good to see you,” Matteo says, stepping toward me and patting me on the arm.
“Who knew about the deal, huh?” I ask.
They all speak at once, each declaring that they haven’t told anyone.
“No one, no one knows about this place,” I bellow, scraping my hands over my face. “And now we have a death on our hands.”
“He was a good guy,” Davo says sighing heavily.
“Take the fucking sheet off him. We have to get out of here. There’s a chance they could come back.”
“Where should we keep the drugs? I mean, we’re going to need a new location,” Davo adds. “What about the whorehouse… just temporarily?”
“No… we need somewhere more secure, unattached to the Savage businesses.” I take a few seconds to think through the options before making a decision. “Take it to the old storage building, down by the quarry. I’ll get in touch with Jostler and let him know you guys are on the way.”
“Sure thing,” Davo replies.
“And trash this place, take some jewelry and shit. Make it look like a robbery,” I bellow, heading outside with my phone in hand. Dialing his number, I call ahead quickl
y letting him know about our need to use the storage.
“Handled,” I shout back over to the guys. “Now, we move.” Zane makes his way over to me as I place my helmet on my head.
“We gotta find the bastards that just tried to fucking rob us, man. Someone followed us here, how else would they know?”
“Agreed, no one would know about this place, so you guys had to have been followed here. But there are only two people that knew about this last deal. Braxton Harris and Brewer.”
“You think this was the Deathseekers?” His nostrils flare and his feet move back and forth as he becomes a human ball of nervous energy. “First the fucking guns, now this? That guy’s got some fucking balls.”
I hold my hands up in a mock surrender. “We don’t know for sure yet.”
“You’re right. You’re so right. Who else could it be. Listen, Nate. We gotta do something about this asshole. Jarvis is dead because of that cocksucker, and Emily too. He continues to screw us over at every turn. He’s gotta go, brother.”
“I know you’re angry, but we have to stay levelheaded. If Brewer is behind this, we’ll get him. His time is limited, brother. That noose around his neck is getting tighter with every passing day.”
“Call Hunter,” he blurts out, his hand working frantically through his hair. Jesus, he’s wired. It’ll be the anger. It can do crazy shit to you.
“And say what?”
“I don’t know. We kill that fucking blonde chick if he doesn’t give us intel. Jesus, Nate. We gotta stop waiting for shit to play out and start taking action.”
“Hey,” I snap. “You’re questioning my judgement now?” My eyes narrow and the look of anger rests on my face.
“FUCK!” he yells loudly, letting out a pained growl. “I feel helpless just standing here with you. I need to do something.”
Digging inside my pockets, I tip up my packet of smokes, offering them to Zane. “Have a smoke and calm the fuck down. Decisions made in rage are never a good idea.”
He takes a cigarette from the packet, placing it between his teeth, patting the pockets of his jeans as he searches for a light.
“Here.” I retrieve mine and offer the flame to him. With a tip of his head, he leans in until the tip of the cigarette meets the flame. Taking a huge drag, his head falls back, his fingers pressing the bridge of his nose. Smoke plumes into the cool evening air and I watch as his shoulders slump.
“We take care of the drugs, and tomorrow, first on the agenda is what we do about Brewer.”
* * *
After a long drive to the old quarry I’m finally on my way home. Fuck knows what time it is, but I’m pretty sure the sun will rise soon. As I take the turn onto our street and slow my speed, I notice a car parked a few feet away from our driveway.
“What the fuck?”
I squint, hoping to work out who is in the car.
As I get closer to the car, the driver must see me, switching on the lights and starting the engine. I ride to the front of the vehicle, dismounting and racing toward the window, retrieving my gun and pointing it to whoever is sitting in the driver’s seat.
“Jesus Christ, Mrs. Mellano. What the hell are you doing here?” I ask through the partially open window.
“I’m here to see my daughter, asshole.” She spits her words at me, her face scrunched up like she’s chewing a wasp.
“It’s like four o’clock in the morning.”
Reaching for the handle, she swings the door open and steps out. “I’m gonna level with you, Nate. My daughter knows something… something that could get me killed. And I’m not sleeping, barely eating because I’m so scared.”
Pushing my gun back inside the waistband of my jeans, I widen my stance and fold my arms across my chest. “You’re talking about Brewer, right?”
“Yes,” she rushes out. “What has she said? How much do you know?”
“Everything.”
“And?”
Her eyes are wide and waiting for me to answer. “She’s fucking hurting. Confused. You should have kept that little secret to yourself.”
“I couldn’t, Nate. Every day she gets deeper and deeper and more involved in your world.”
“You put yourself in danger just so she could know the truth, pretty stupid thing to do.”
“It’s what you do as a parent, as a mother. I never meant to hurt her with this information. I thought it might make her realize what a mistake she’s making.”
“Mistake?”
“You, the MC. Knocked up and not knowing who the father is.”
I press my lips together, trying to control the anger I feel building. “Let’s get one thing straight,” I say calmly. “Tara isn’t knocked up. She’s pregnant… with my child.”
Tilting her head, she lifts one brow. “We both know that might not be entirely true.”
“Listen.” I sigh loudly. “It’s been a long night. I’m fucked and don’t have time for your games. What exactly is it you want?”
“I need to know that she won’t tell Brewer the truth.”
“Well, I’m sorry to tell you, but the last conversation we had about him, she said she wanted to get to know him. Find out if he’s really the bad guy everyone says he is.”
“No,” she screeches quietly, both hands coming up to cover her mouth. “Nate… you have to stop her. Tell her it’s a bad idea.” Her voice is full of panic.
“I’ve tried. Really I have. But you know Tara. Headstrong and stubborn. Maybe now would be a good time to take a vacation. Visit some family.”
“I... I... can’t,” she stammers. “I don’t have the money, even if I wanted to.”
“It won’t be forever. Brewer is a wanted man, but for now, I agree you should keep yourself safe.”
“She’s going to tell him, isn’t she?”
I drop my eyes to the ground, nodding a little. “I’m not sure. Maybe.”
“Oh, God.” She rests her head on her hands, tears stream down her face.
“If money is the issue, I’ll take care of that. Tomorrow. I’ll have the money to you by then.”
“Really?” she asks, looking puzzled. “You’d really do that… for me?”
“For you, nah. This is for Tara. She’s going to need you.”
“Thank you,” she rushes at me, wrapping her arms around my waist, her wet face rests against my chest.
Stiffening, I don’t move. I let her rest there until she pulls away. “I should, uh, I should go.” Swiping her hands across her cheeks, she removes the fallen tears before stepping back inside her car. “Tara doesn’t need to know about this conversation, okay?”
“Sure thing, ma’am.”
Tara
I have no idea what time Nate got home, but the main thing is that he’s here.
Asleep on the couch.
I lean against the wall as I watch him sleep. His chest rises and falls slowly and I step closer, grabbing the blanket to cover him. Only my foot lands heavily on something on the floor. I look down, realizing that I’m standing on his cell phone.
Shit.
Reaching down, I check the screen to make sure I haven’t damaged it. As soon as I have it in my hands I get the urge to do something I know I shouldn’t. Scrolling through to the contacts, I search for Brewer’s number. My hands shake and the pulse in my neck thuds as I find exactly what I was looking for. Tiptoeing out of the living room and into the kitchen, I grab my phone and make a note of the number, typing it into my contacts list. What I’d do with the number at this moment in time hasn’t been decided. All I know is that I have it. I have a way to get in touch with him, if I decide that’s what I want to do.
Creeping back over to Nate, I carefully place the phone back in its exact spot before heading back upstairs. Right now, with everything going on, I need to focus. Make myself think of something other than the mess that surrounds me. Pulling out a suitable outfit, I pull on my work clothes, quickly fix my hair and add a little makeup to my face before heading downstairs. I peep i
n to check on Nate. He’s still sleeping so I head into the kitchen and scribble him a note.
Gone into work.
Speak later, sleepyhead.
XOXO
With one final check over my shoulder, I grab my things and head out the door. The cool morning air hits my lungs. I inhale the fresh dewy smell, savoring it.
My short journey to work didn’t help to clear my head. All I can think is that I have his number, my real father’s number. I want to meet him, make up my own mind if he is someone I want in my life, but my mother’s words play over and over. He’ll kill her if he finds out. I can’t and won’t endanger my mother’s life. But it would be a lie if I didn’t say I was torn. I’m torn between the not knowing and hurting other people.
Pulling into the parking space, I cut the engine, release my seat belt and rest my head back against the seat. Why isn’t anything easy? I feel like I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.
Blowing out a huge controlled breath, I lift my head, grab my purse and reach for the door handle. My eyes catch sight of someone standing in front of the car and I jerk back at the unexpectedness.
“Jesus, Brax. You scared the life out of me.”
Closing the door behind me, I look at him and the stern expression on his face.
“What are you doing here?” he asks.
“Well, duh, I work here.”
“We weren’t expecting you today.”
“Well, here I am.”
“Shouldn’t you be resting?”
“What is this, Brax? What’s going on?” Making my way over to the building, he walks beside me and I give him a look.
“Just that, you know, you could’ve let me know you were coming in today.”
“Jesus, anyone would think you didn’t want me here.”
The complete scars series: Books one-four Page 87
