“There’s some rumors going around the hospital right now about you, Dr. Kelly.”
“I’ve been stepping up my game, Dr. Williams. I’m trying to be the doctor you expect me to be.”
“What kind of doctor do you expect you to be, Dr. Kelly?” she asked me, giving me a meaningful look.
“I want to be the best doctor I can be,” I said, lifting my chin with pride.
“If these rumors are true, how do you expect to get through your residency?”
I could feel myself beginning to tear up, emotions swirling in my stomach. The hormones were changing my temperament, and I couldn’t stand it. Maybe she was right. I wanted to run away and never come back, but I stood my ground and looked her in the eye.
“The way any other woman does, Doctor,” I said, putting my hands on my hips and staring her down.
I knew Dr. Williams was a mother. She’d had to struggle to retain her place in the hospital. The fact that she was putting more pressure on me and being harder seemed hypocritical. And now she stood in front of me, questioning how I would succeed if the “rumors” were true.
“Look, Dr. Kelly,” she said. “I want you to understand, I’m so hard on you because I see so much potential in you. I’d hate to see you squander that potential. Now I hear these rumors. It’s a great disappointment.”
“And what gives you the right to be disappointed in me?”
“It’s only because I see so much of myself in you. I’d hate to see you make the same mistakes I did.”
“If you see so much of yourself in me, then why are you making my work and my life more difficult?”
“We all need to be challenged. You’ve been getting by on your innate personality traits. But when the shit hits the fan, that’s when you see how strong a person really is.”
“And so you wanted to be the shit?”
She looked at me sternly, then raised her eyebrow, a smile slowly breaking on her face. “Touché, Dr. Kelly. Very funny. Make sure you see someone soon. You need to take care of yourself.”
“Thanks,” I said. “I’ve got to get this sample to the lab.”
As I walked down the hallway to the lab, it felt like I had just had the most surreal experience of my life. I delivered the samples to the technician and went back to the ER for the rest of my shift.
At the end of the day, I climbed into my car and turned on the engine. Gripping the steering wheel, I felt so fragile I was ready to break apart into a million pieces. What Dr. Williams had said at the hospital reminded me that I needed to get some prenatal vitamins.
On the way home, I stopped at the drugstore and picked up a bottle. I carried the bag into the house and set it on the coffee table. I went into the kitchen and got a bottle of water out of the fridge and headed back to the living room where I’d left the bag. When I entered the room, I saw Crash sitting on the couch holding the bottle of prenatal vitamins with a blank expression on his face.
It felt like the whole world was crashing in on me and my brain went fuzzy. My knees began to buckle and all of the sudden, I was going down. I blacked out for a second. When I came to, I found myself lying on the couch. Crash sat across the living room from me on an easy chair, holding the bottle of prenatal vitamins. I sat up slowly. He was there beside me a moment later, helping me up.
“Take it easy,” he said.
I groaned and put my hand to my forehead.
“When were you going to tell me?” he asked.
Chapter Nineteen
“I don’t know,” Harper said.
Harper had been out for a few minutes, and I’d stared at that bottle of vitamins the whole time. I knew what prenatal vitamins were.
Everything started to come together to create a clear picture of what was going on. She wouldn’t eat sushi. Her tits had grown a cup size. And she suddenly fainted in my arms after bringing home a bottle of prenatal vitamins. Obviously Harper was pregnant.
All this time, she hadn’t told me. She was fucking me every single day, but didn’t feel the need to tell me she had a child inside her. My child.
“It’s mine, isn’t it,” I said, rubbing my hand up and down her back.
“Crash, I didn’t want to tell you this way.”
Emotions spiraled within me, and I didn’t know what to think. Harper was carrying my child. It was both the most terrifying and exhilarating information I’d ever received. I knew in that instant that I wanted the baby. I wanted to be his father. I wanted to be the kind of father I’d never had.
“Yes. The baby is yours, Crash. From that night in Brazil.”
“What are you going to do?” I asked, nervous that she didn’t want to keep it. I wanted them both. I wanted the woman and the child. A few months ago, I never would’ve believed anyone if they told me that I would feel that way. But goddammit, I wanted them. I wanted the family. I wanted the happily ever after. I was ready to do whatever it took to be the man she needed and to be the father my child needed.
“I’m keeping it,” she said. I breathed a sigh of relief and pulled her into my embrace.
“Baby, this is going to be beautiful. We’re going to be an awesome family. I never thought I’d want this, but I want it more than anything.”
“I don’t know, Crash,” she whispered. “We haven’t known each other very long. And you’re still my stepbrother. What are Mom and Dad going to say about this?”
“How can you still be worried about that?” he asked.
“I am. I don’t want you to lose your inheritance. I don’t want my mom to hate me. And committing to each other just because we’re having a baby together isn’t the best decision for either of us.”
“Let me get this straight. You want to lie to our parents and not tell them that I’m the baby’s father?”
“I don’t know, Crash,” she whispered.
“I can’t believe I’m hearing this. I’m ready to do anything to be with you and to be my baby’s father. And you’re telling me that you want to keep that from me? And why? Because our parents married each other? This baby was conceived before I even knew who my father was.”
“But that doesn’t change the fact that our parents are married. That makes us stepsiblings. Sure, neither of us knew about each other when we got together in Brazil, but now we’re stepsiblings. There’s no changing that. What if your father decides not to leave you any of his inheritance because you knocked up his stepdaughter?”
“If he thinks like that then he can die in a fire,” I said, so angry I had to stand up. I couldn’t believe what she was saying. It was all so messed up. “If you’re not going to tell them that I’m the father, who are you going to tell them is the father?”
“I had considered telling them that Jeremy was the father,” she whispered.
“That guy? You were going to let that guy be the father of my child?” I reeled around, storming towards the exit.
“I didn’t know what to do,” she said behind me.
I turned around, rage boiling hot in my gut and face. I clenched my fists. “I need to clear my head before I say something I regret,” I said before storming out the door.
I heard her yell my name through the thick door, but I didn’t go back. I was so fucking pissed I could barely see straight.
That baby was mine, and I’d be damned if I was going let a man like Jeremy take credit for it. As crazy as it sounded to my own brain, I loved Harper. I wanted that girl to be mine for the rest of my life.
After spending those days together in Don’s house, I knew why I couldn’t be with anyone else. I wanted her. I wanted her because I loved her. We were meant to be together, and that’s all there was to it.
I straddled my motorcycle and turned on the ignition. Without another thought, I sped down the driveway and out of sight. As much as I loved that girl, I couldn’t talk to her right now.
She was rejecting me at the very core. She wanted me to give up my child because of some stupid taboo that didn’t mean anything. Because she was afraid
I’d lose some bullshit money. So what if Don disinherited me? I didn’t care. I could do anything I wanted. I didn’t need that guy’s money.
What I did need was Harper and our child.
I didn’t know where I was going, and I didn’t know when I would go back. It was almost sunset. Nighttime was the best time to get wasted. I drove down the highway headed east until I found a biker bar out in the desert. I climbed off my bike, ready for whatever self-destructive bullshit the night might bring.
I walked into the smoky bar, the sound of classic rock ‘n’ roll playing on an old jukebox. There were crusty old bikers with ratty beards and leather vests covered in patches. This was exactly the kind of place where a guy could get into a good brawl. I sidled up to the bar and rapped my knuckles on the warped wood.
“Whiskey neat,” I said. “Keep them coming.”
The bartender poured me a shot, and I threw it back. He immediately refilled my glass. I was going to need a hell of a lot more than this to drink away the wound that woman had shot in my chest.
All my life, I’d been haunted by the absence of my own father. Whether or not Don had done it on purpose, I’d been a fatherless child. Just like Harper. I’d wandered the streets while my mom worked double shifts, just to make ends meet.
I’d hated the man who’d left her in poverty. I hated the man who had abandoned his child to grow up without him.
And now the woman I loved was forcing me into a position where I would have to watch some other asshole raise my baby. I downed my third shot and asked for another, finally starting to feel the exhilarating glow of drunkenness inside me.
“Just leave the bottle,” I said.
The bartender raised his eyebrow at me but did as I asked. I took the bottle in hand and took a long swig until I began to feel my body unwind and my ego burn.
A middle-aged biker sat beside me and eyed my bottle. “Hey, buddy, you want to share?” he said.
I turned toward him and gave him my biggest shit eating grin. “No,” I said, cocky as fuck.
“You ain’t gonna share?” he asked, standing up from the barstool and rolling his shoulders.
“Nope,” I said.
“You know where you are, son?”
“I’m not your son,” I said. My words were starting to slur. “I ain’t nobody’s son. Nobody’s.”
“You got a whole bottle of whiskey and you haven’t paid. Least you can do is share.”
I took a deep swig and then sprayed it out of my mouth all over the biker. I watched his shocked expression as he wiped it off his face and beard. It was so funny, I had to fucking laugh.
The old dude took a swing at me, and I dodged away, still laughing. Even drunk, I could outmaneuver some untrained old asshole like this guy. Then his buddies joined him. They were all about as old and nappy as he was. I couldn’t stop laughing. I took another swig and sprayed them all.
“There,” I said. “I fucking shared.”
I was still laughing when they started swinging at me. None of them could touch me as I dodged and wove away from their fists. I was tempted to beat all their asses, but I knew that one hit from my hardened, practiced fist would send one of these old dudes to the emergency room.
But it was not just the old dudes in the bar. A group of younger bikers came up behind me and someone slammed me across the back. It hurt like hell and sent me down to the sticky floor, but I sprung back up and started punching. Even the younger guys couldn’t stand against someone with my expertise, and I took them all out pretty quickly.
There were probably a dozen guys standing around me in a circle. Some of them I’d beaten and others were just angry and shouting. A moment later, the bartender came out from the behind the bar with a shotgun in his hand and waved it menacingly at me.
“Get the fuck out of here,” he said. I grabbed the bottle from the bar.
“Fine,” I said, rolling my shoulders. “I just wanted to have a little fun.”
I staggered out of the bar. A couple of their fists had connected. I’d been punched in my gut, face, and chin. I put the bottle in the storage under my seat and straddled my bike.
I motored out onto the silent, open road and headed deep into the desert. The stars were shining high above in the clear night sky. I was seeing double, so I finally pulled over on the side of the road, grabbed my bottle, and started hiking up a sand dune.
When I got up there, I sat and looked up at the moon. It was full and beautiful like the night I had first met Harper. I looked down at my bottle and flung it out of sight. I didn’t want to fucking drink anymore. All I wanted was for Harper to accept my love, to let me be the father of my own child.
With my head swimming, I laid back on the sand and quickly lost consciousness.
Chapter Twenty
As soon as Crash left, I tried to call his cell phone. It rang from his bedroom. He didn’t come back that night or the next morning. I had the day off from the hospital, and all I could do was sit around and worry. I’d been doing stupid things ever since the night I’d met him. Maybe it was Crash’s influence that was making me act like such an idiot. Maybe I was an idiot. I really didn’t know anymore.
I’d never been more confused, and all I could do was curl up on the couch and watch soap operas all day. When my phone rang later that afternoon, I scrambled up to answer it. It was just Ava. I considered not answering, but instead, I flicked my finger over the green button and said hello.
“Harper, I’m so glad you answered. I just wanted to apologize again about what I did. It was so disloyal of me. I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to talk to me again. I haven’t been a very good friend.”
“It was my fault for telling you.”
“Don’t blame yourself, Harper. You always do that kind of thing. Stop being such a martyr. You deserve to be happy. You deserve for other people to help you once in a while. Most of all, I think you deserve a break. “
“That’s just what I needed to hear right now.”
“Do you want me to come over? It sounds like you could use some support.”
“Sure,” I said. “I’m at Don’s house. I’ll text you the address.”
Forty-five minutes later, she knocked on the front door. I opened it, and she instantly took me into her arms.
It was really the first time anyone was there for me to help me with my pregnancy. It felt so damn good.
“Honey,” Ava said. “What can I do to help?”
“Come in. I made tea.”
We sat in a sitting room off the kitchen with a big window that looked out on the beach. Ava looked guilty and concerned as I poured her tea. She took a sip and smiled.
“This is good,” she said.
“I know. Don’s house is stocked with the best stuff. Most of the staff is off while Don and Mom are on vacation. But the cook left a lot of food.”
“Nice. I like your new digs.”
“I know. It’s pretty sweet.”
She took a bite of the cookie I’d put on a plate for her and took another sip of tea. I ate some of mine too and glanced out the window.
“Harper, have you decided what you’re going to do?” she asked.
I looked back up at her and frowned. “Not really.”
“Are you going to keep the baby?”
“Yes.”
“That’s awesome. I mean, look at your stepdad’s place. I’d quit my job and live this up as long as I could if I were you.”
“Yeah. Right.”
“I’m just kidding. I know you’d never do that. Have you told them yet?”
“No.”
“Do you really not know who the father is?”
“I do know who it is,” I said, breaking off a piece of the cookie. I shoved it in my mouth and chewed.
“Who is it?” she asked meekly. “Is it Jeremy?”
“No. It’s Crash. My stepbrother.”
“Oh shit. That hot fighter? Oh shit. Honey. Does he know?”
“I told him yesterday. Ac
tually, he figured it out.”
“Is he pissed? Does he not want a baby?”
“He does want it. And he’s pissed.”
“Why? I don’t understand.”
“I told him I don’t want to tell our parents. I also told him I’d considered saying it was Jeremy’s.”
“No wonder he’s pissed if he wants a baby.”
“He left his phone and hasn’t been back.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. Don was considering leaving Crash his estate. But he said he was watching what kind of man Crash is. If we tell him, it could jeopardize Crash’s inheritance.”
“But do you think lying about it is going to make it any better?”
“No. I guess not. I just didn’t know how to deal with it. I’ve been keeping it all inside for weeks. This has all been so stressful to me. I haven’t known what to think or what to tell anyone. You were the first person I told. Which, of course, was probably a mistake.” I smirked at her.
“That’s fair. I deserve that. But, Harper, you need to tell the truth. If Crash wants to be this child’s father, then you have to let him be.”
“I know. You’re right. I haven’t been thinking straight. There’s been so much pressure at work and everything.”
“I get it. How do you feel about Crash?”
“I think he’d be a good father. His wasn’t there growing up, and I think he’s always held onto it.”
“How do you feel about him as a man?”
“I…I don’t really know. I care about him. I didn’t think I’d ever have feelings for a guy like him, but he’s different than I originally thought. He’s sweet and loyal and kind. I feel a real connection to him.”
“Do you love him?”
I sighed and looked out the window before taking another sip of tea. That was the real question, wasn’t it? It had been hanging over me for days.
“I think maybe I do. I haven’t known him for that long. But I can’t help it. I can’t help how he makes me feel. I can’t help what he does to my body and soul. I’m having his baby for God’s sake. It means something. It means everything. But that isn’t the only reason. He’s got me. Right here.” I patted my heart and felt it swell as soon as I admitted my feelings.
Crash: A Bad Boy MMA Romance Page 13
