by Fiona Palmer
Jaz almost swore she could see tears in his mother’s eyes when she came to hug them goodbye.
Both parents walked them to another door that went to the garage. Three expensive cars sat quietly inside, Marcus’s BMW the closest.
Jaz couldn’t help looking at everything. She wasn’t sure what she was looking for, maybe a big sign saying ‘drug importer’, or maybe stacks of white powder or wads of money. She did know that she would be back and, if she could, she’d go straight for his dad’s office. It seemed like the obvious place to start looking for information. But for now she was going to take a deep breath and enjoy her night like any other ball-goer.
‘Hey Pax, you’re back!’ said Jaz, as she walked through the gym to the office. Pax was shuffling through drawers looking for something. He paused to give her a hug.
‘Sure am, Kiddo. So tell me, what’s been happening?’ he asked as he went back searching.
‘What are you looking for?’
‘Scissors?’
Jaz plucked a pair from the canister by the computer screen. ‘These do?’ she said with a smirk.
Pax pushed his glasses back on his nose and sighed. ‘Yep. Ta.’
‘What do you want to know? Are we alone?’ she whispered.
‘Bags is down the back with a client but we’ll go into the house. I need you for something.’ Pax scratched at his round belly while he spoke. Then he nodded towards the house and Jaz followed him.
She thought it was strange when he locked the door behind them. But it probably made sense because Anna had a habit of materialising from nowhere. She was so thin and whispy it was like she floated, not like Jaz, who made each footstep count.
Pax led her through the house to the spare room. It was a room that was always locked. He’d told them over the years that the roof had fallen down due to a leak and he just hadn’t got around to fixing it, no point anyway when he never needed it.
But now he pulled out his key set and unlocked the door. Jaz noticed the worn marks from turning a key. This room was used more than she realised.
When Pax pushed open the door, he shuffled her in and then shut it behind him, locking it.
Jaz’s mouth dropped as she saw the expensive computer equipment. She thought what was in the office was good, but this stuff was fancy. There were printers, maybe three different ones. The computer screen was huge, the desk was covered with papers, there was a side desk with fancy paper on it and plastic stuff. This was the hidden hub of Pax’s MTG Agency work.
‘Wow.’
‘Here, stand against the door,’ said Pax who was holding a camera. ‘You need a passport photo.’
‘Oh gee, hang on,’ said Jaz, as she tried to smooth out her hair. ‘Do you do this stuff a lot, Pax?’
‘Yep, sure do. Pakistan, hey? Are you sure?’ He dropped the camera so he could see her properly. She knew the lines on his face as if they were the paths she travelled to her home and The Ring everyday. The crinkles near his mouth were like miniature smiles and the little speckles in his eyes were what she searched for when she needed his comfort. And yet here he stood, with this whole side she’d never known about. He was the man she knew, but not. In a way, Jaz felt as if she’d grown up. That she was finally privy to the secrets of the adult world. And she was glad she could share this with Pax. She felt it brought them closer than ever.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked as he studied her. ‘You having second thoughts?’
Jaz reached out and hugged him. ‘I’m just so glad I have you, Pax. I love you, you know that?’
‘Me too, sweetheart. I love you too. What’s brought this on?’
She had him rattled, which wasn’t her intention. ‘It’s not the trip, Pax. I’m excited about it, really. It’s just seeing this room, this side of you. It makes it all real, you know. And I’m glad that this is something we share, that there are no secrets between us. You are the only one, besides Ryan, that I have that with now.’ She swallowed the rising lump in her throat. She didn’t want glassy eyes on her passport.
‘Oh love, I know exactly what you mean.’ He kissed her forehead. ‘Come on, let’s get this photo done so I can get to work on your passport. Especially when you need it by Tuesday. Love how they spring this stuff on me,’ he muttered to himself as he raised the camera.
Jaz smiled and the flash went off. Then she followed him to his desk, where he took out the SD card and put it in his computer.
Pax paused and then turned to Jaz.
‘What?’ she asked.
‘I’ve never had anyone watch me work before. It’s usually a job I do alone,’ he said. ‘It’s just a bit weird.’ He gave her a wink to know he didn’t want her to leave though.
‘Do you have to do a passport for Ryan or does he have a few others already?’ she asked.
‘No, I’ll have to do him another one to suit. He needs a photo taken while in character, if you know what I mean.’
Jaz looked at the program on his computer, and the other bits, and shook her head. ‘It’s all double-dutch to me, Pax. I never did get all this. Anna, on the other hand, takes after you in every way, even down to the pastry addiction,’ she teased.
Jaz’s phone vibrated. ‘Oh, Anna’s just left Ricky’s and is on her way here. She has the Auto Trader. We were going to look for my car.’
‘That’s okay, I can finish this later. I have a few errands to run. We better lock up.’
Jaz had just finished making a cuppa when Anna came into Pax’s kitchen. She looked so fresh in little denim shorts and a black Big Bang Theory t-shirt. Her fair skin was bright, the freckles along her nose alive and her delicate features making her unassumingly beautiful.
‘Hey ya. Where’s Pax?’
‘Just gone off to do some errands. Did you bring the paper?’
Anna held up a plastic bag and gave it a shake. ‘Got some choc biscuits too.’ She laid it all out on the table. ‘Can’t gossip about boys without chocolate,’ she said.
Before she’d even got her bum to the chair she started. ‘So, did you kiss Marcus last night?’
Jaz frowned. ‘I haven’t even put our cups down yet.’ As she handed Anna her large red mug, she remembered back to the ball. She hadn’t known anyone except for Marcus’s three friends, who were there with their dates. But Marcus had taken her away from them and onto the dance floor, in the dimmed light, to hold her close. She could remember the gentle touch of his hands as he held her tight. They had gazed at each other. She tried not to compare it to the night of her own ball, the one where Ryan had held her and kissed her. It wasn’t fair to compare them, but being with Marcus was still sweet. And he had kissed her too. Not the normal little sweet kisses they had shared before. They had been dancing close, her head on his shoulder. She had enjoyed being held in his arms and feeling wanted. He smelt nice, a sandalwood scent, and his hands had moved over her skin like silk. He’d whispered against her ear how much he was enjoying himself, his breath had been warm. Then he kissed the spot below her ear, moving along her chin until he reached her mouth. By then she was ready. Ready to be wanted. She could remember the taste of his lips, which were smooth and soft like his skin. He’d opened his mouth and she’d taken advantage. He’d trembled and it had excited her. She had certainly got lost in the moment, or moments, she should say.
‘Oh, I can tell by the way you are blushing that you did. Was it good?’ Anna asked as she watched her.
Jaz took her time, reached for the biscuits and opened them. ‘Yeah, it was great,’ she said. ‘He’s really great.’
‘You say that like you’re surprised. Did you not think you’d get over Ryan?’
Jaz felt her frown form before she could stop it.
‘Oh, Jaz,’ said Anna when she realised.
Jaz could only shrug. ‘I really like Marcus. But he’s not Ryan.’ And that was the truth. ‘It’s just going to take time.’
Anna nodded. ‘You got over Taylor, remember.’
‘Yeah, but I love Tay differently.
It took me a while to figure that out, but with Ryan…’ Jaz glanced off to the wall with its faded yellow cupboards. How did she explain what she felt for Ryan? There was nothing else like it. Jaz turned back to Anna and shrugged. ‘What is it like with Ricky? Is he…?’
‘The one? Hell no,’ said Anna. ‘I like him, and he’s smart, which is nice, but that’s only one side of me. The other side likes hanging out with you and Taylor and going to the range to shoot and all those things Ricky doesn’t like. I’m feeling like this is just a bus trip to somewhere, you know? He’s just someone until the right one comes along.’ Anna frowned. ‘That makes me sound bitchy, but what I’m trying to say is that it’s not serious. I’m just enjoying the ride at the moment. Isn’t that what you’re doing with Marcus? Seeing where it goes? The more time you spend with him, you might end up really liking him.’
And that right there would be a problem. Having a thing for Ryan was also a problem. Nothing was ever just clear-cut and simple. Jaz pulled a face grabbed a biscuit. ‘Wow, this guy stuff’s hard work. Think I’ll need two.’ And she took another biscuit. Anna laughed and took another one as well. If only chocolate could really fix all their problems.
Chapter 14
Jaz was almost at The Ring when her phone rang, stirring her from her thoughts. School had been a total write-off, especially when she was leaving for Pakistan in two days. She couldn’t think about anything except seeing Ryan tomorrow and finding out all the details of their operation. Not even Minka found her radar today. Some conversation with Anna and Taylor and texts with Marcus was all she could remember.
‘Hey, Pax,’ she said, answering his call. He must need her to watch the gym for him. But the line was silent. ‘Pax? You there?’
She stopped walking and squished her phone closer to her ear. Then she heard short breaths. ‘Pax! Can you hear me?’
‘Help, Jaz.’ It was only just a whisper, so close to nothing.
Jaz started sprinting the last hundred metres to The Ring while yelling into the phone. ‘I’m coming Pax. I’m just here. I’m coming.’ But she had no idea what she was going to find. Was he being held hostage too? Was he injured?
She flung open the door of the gym and ran inside calling his name but there was no answer, just the emptiness that echoed back Pax’s name.
She ran to the office, continued into the house calling for him. Her eyes bouncing off walls, searching for him like lasers. Heading down the passage, she checked the rooms; only his special room was left. ‘Pax, you in here?’ she yelled while rattling the door.
A painful groan leached through the door, confirming her fears. Grabbing the handle, she tried to open it. It was locked. He always locked it. Damn.
‘Pax, do you have a spare key?’
‘Bathroom,’ she heard faintly, followed by, ‘toilet.’
Jaz darted into his bathroom, small with mould growing on the ceiling in one corner and square yellow tiles around the sink and shower. She went straight to the toilet and pulled off the top of the cistern. Sure enough, a tiny key sat inside on top of the float.
‘I’ve got it, Pax. I’m coming,’ she said, as she got back to the door and unlocked it. She opened it carefully in case Pax was behind it, but he was near his desk on the floor. His mobile phone was in his hand and his glasses had fallen from the top of his head. Jaz went to his side, using her phone to call an ambulance. Her fingers shook, making her glad it was only a three digit number. ‘What is it, Pax?’ she asked as she touched his face lightly. ‘What’s going on?’ He was clammy and held his hand on his chest. She hated seeing him lying there like this. This shouldn’t be happening to Pax.
‘Hello, yes, I need an ambulance. My friend has collapsed.’ She gave his address. ‘He’s fifty-five. Yes, he’s conscious but he’s struggling for breath…yes, he’s very pale and sweaty. No, no heart problems that I know of.’ Jaz tried to answer the questions.
‘Was dizzy,’ said Pax breathlessly. She passed this on to the man on the phone. Jaz could see that he’d dragged half the stuff on his desk down with him.
‘Pax, do you have medication?’ she relayed to him. Pax shook his head. ‘No to medication,’ she said into the phone. ‘Okay, I will, thank you.’
‘Ambulance is on its way, Pax. Hang in there. I need to sit you up a bit, make you comfortable.’
‘Not here,’ he said.
Jaz looked around and understood now why Pax had called her and not the ambulance. No one could see what was in here. She had to move him. She didn’t have time to call Ryan for help, the ambulance would be here soon.
‘I’m going to try and move you to the hallway, okay, Pax. Just bear with me.’
He nodded and squeezed her hand, happy with her decision.
Jaz got behind him and lifted him up under his arms. ‘You just relax; let me do all the work. I don’t want you doing anything,’ she said through gritted teeth.
It was only a few metres to the hallway. Once Jaz got him out, she grabbed two pillows from the bedroom and made him comfortable. Then she got his glasses, quickly checking for anything else he many need from the room, before pulling the door shut. Jaz tucked the key deep in her jeans.
‘You’ll be fine, Pax,’ she said, holding his hand. He had to be. Pax was indestructible. He was not allowed to get sick. He was going to be here forever. Life wouldn’t be the same without him. She could feel the tears building and didn’t want to upset him further. Jaz kissed his hand, a lingering scent of coffee and cinnamon. She could hear the sirens making their way closer and stood up.
‘Are you okay here if I go and meet the ambulance?’
He nodded, and she tried not to run from the house as a tear escaped.
When she was happy that the ambulance officers had him well looked after, she called her mum and then Anna, and rode in the back of the ambulance with him to the hospital. It was so surreal. Jaz had never seen anyone sick before. She’d never been this close to losing someone she loved. Her dad had died before she was born and she was too young to remember her sister. She found herself trembling, her eyes never left Pax the whole way in the ambulance.
At the hospital, Jaz sat in the waiting room. The room was stark white and gave her chills. With stiff cold fingers, she sent Ryan a text.
Royal Perth Hospital. Now.
Anna and her family came a few minutes later, followed by Jaz’s mum with Simon. It was a madhouse as they quizzed her.
‘A heart attack?’ asked Tasha, as she reached out to hug Jaz. Pax had been like Tasha’s father, taking care of her and Jaz when she was first born. ‘I should catch up with him more, I’ve been so self-absorbed.’ Tasha was pale. Jaz hadn’t seen her mum this scared in ages, if ever.
‘I bet it was all those pastries he loves,’ said Anna. Her eyes were red and glassy. She held Jaz’s hand. ‘How awful to find him like that, but I’m glad you were there, Jaz. I can’t imagine life…’ Anna couldn’t finish.
Anna’s mum, Lenore, motioned to Tasha. ‘Lets go find a doctor.’ She brushed her hair back from her face as they headed down the corridor. Simon went with them, walking between the two mums. Lenore was tall and twiggy, like Anna, and they shared similar green eyes and freckles.
‘Anna, you okay?’ Taylor asked as he came rushing to their side. He hugged Anna before turning to Jaz. ‘Hey, Jaz. Is he okay?’ He reached out to draw her into the hug.
‘I’m not sure. Our mums’ have gone to find a doctor and check. It’s Pax, he’s as strong as an ox, he’ll be fine,’ she said chewing on a fingernail. Jaz looked back out the doors of the hospital, hoping Ryan came soon.
‘Shall we go find out?’ said Taylor. Anna nodded as she hugged him close. Her head rested in the crook of his neck, Taylor had his lips pressed to the top of her head.
‘You guys go, I need to find the toilet.’
‘We can wait?’ he asked.
‘I’m fine. You go. I’ll catch up.’ Jaz felt the relief wash over her as they left, still arm in arm. They really did make a
sweet couple. Jaz moved over to the other side of the room so if they looked back they couldn’t see her. She sunk down into a chair and buried her face in her hands while she waited for Ryan.
She was oblivious to the sounds of the hospital and didn’t even hear the door, or know Ryan had come in, until she heard him call her name.
Before she could lift her head, his hands were on her shoulders as he crouched down to her level. ‘Jaz, what’s happened? Are you okay?’
His voice washed over her like a warm safety blanket. She hadn’t realised how cold she felt, how frozen with fear. Meeting his eyes was hard to do with so many emotions at breaking point.
Ryan moved his hand, bringing it to her face. His warm caress sent more warmth flooding through her, but it was the tenderness in his dark eyes that stilled her breath. It took all her strength remembering where she was. Ryan had a way of making her forget the world. Which was funny, because he was the one who opened her eyes to it.
‘Pax had a heart attack. He was working when it happened. That’s why he called me. Lucky I was just about at The Ring. Ryan, it could have been much worse.’
Ryan was quiet but his thumb continued to rub circles on her shoulder. ‘Let’s not worry until we know how he’s going. Shall we go and see?’
He stood up and Jaz followed. They found everyone gathered by his door. Tasha was beside Pax helping him answer a heap of questions for the doctor. They had put an oxygen mask on him in the ambulance, but now he had tubes in his nose.
‘Hey Ryan,’ said Taylor. Jaz glanced back to her friends who had just spotted them. Anna was wearily watching them both. ‘Did you just get here?’
‘Yeah, I turned up at The Ring just as the ambulance was leaving,’ said Ryan. The lie coming easily. ‘Not what you want to see,’
Jaz introduced Anna’s mum to Ryan, then Tasha joined them. ‘Mum, this is Ryan, a friend of Pax’s from The Ring. He arrived as the ambulance was leaving.’ Jaz watched her mum give Ryan the once over. It would be hard not to when he was sexy in his stone-washed jeans, black belt and fitted black t-shirt. His face shadowed by stubble, set stern, and his body hard with muscles. She could just see her mum quizzing her about the hot guy at the hospital later and making sure Jaz didn’t know him too well.
