by Oxford, Rain
He thought for a few seconds. “Rojan remembers it better than me. It was something about Earth being in danger. You had your book, and I remember a blinding, cold light. And the really weird thing was that there was a---”
He was interrupted by a creepy howl. We both froze- not because we were scared, but because we were confused. Nothing that lived in this forest would howl like that, because it would be eaten immediately. This forest was full of predators that hunted by ambush. A howling creature was a dead creature. A moment later, it started again, but was cut off mid-howl with a miserable yelp.
“I think we should get inside the cave. I want to find Blood, but we need to get Sammy somewhere safe,” I said quietly.
Mordon frowned at cave, unsure. “Rojan says that cave is marked by another dragon and to enter it would be a challenge to Blood. He’s not worried about being injured by the dragon, but he knows we’re friends and thinks we shouldn’t ruin that alliance.”
“But since we’re friends with Blood, shouldn’t he be okay with us being in his cave?” I asked.
“Rojan is a stronger dragon, and apparently that is always a challenge. Blood would see it as a stronger dragon moving in on his territory. He was okay with me before because Rojan was sleeping. I don’t like the idea of scaring off Blood. Rojan can introduce himself, but let’s take it slowly.”
“You’re right. He helped us. There has to be somewhere else we can… What?” I asked when his eyes glazed a little.
He blinked at me. “Rojan said that dragons can never be lost and that he can find our way out easily.”
“Wonderful. We have to find Shinobu, and then we can go,” I said.
He frowned. “I forgot all about her. She should have run out to you as soon as you arrived.” He sniffed around a little bit, particularly towards the cave. “Rojan and I can’t smell her anywhere. I mean, she was here, but not for days. Let’s get Sammy to safety and then we can return. Shinobu can take care of herself.”
It took a few minutes, but he convinced me in the end. Sammy was most important. I grabbed Mordon’s bag that he had left in the cave when we went to Earth, and then we took off through the forest, following Mordon’s lead. He seemed to have faith in this direction. The funny thing was that Mordon only seemed to be acting unusual when the dragon was suppressed by the girl’s magic. Even when Rojan woke for the first time, Mordon had always had the same tendencies that made him unique. Instead of feeling like my friend had changed, it was more like I just found out that he had always been a dragon. Everything about him just made more sense. What I was a little distressed about was that he had figured out on his own that Divina was Tiamat. “How did you figure it out?” I asked.
Mordon knew exactly what I was thinking, because we were like that. “You didn’t give it away. Honestly, I always knew she wasn’t sago. She smelled sago, not human, but her magic smelled more like yours. I knew she had a secret because I could smell it on her. She was suspicious of me, probably because she knows exactly what I am, which is unfair, because I still don’t know what I am. A big hint was that she spoke English fluently, better than me. You said that Ronez taught her, I know, but she was just too fluent. She spoke differently than Edward, and she understands all the weird references you make. She said one time, while I was visiting, that she had never been to Earth, but I could tell she was lying. I only knew for sure, though, when I met Enki.”
“Why did you never say anything? I was always so worried about breaking her secret.”
“I did say something; I wanted to know what she was. You would trust me enough to tell me that you and Edward are Guardians, but you wouldn’t tell me what Divina was, so I knew it had to have been a bigger secret. Obviously, the only thing bigger than being a Guardian was being a god.”
“Or a dragon.”
“Yes, well, you should’ve told me I was a dragon,” he said to me. Then he rolled his eyes. “Yes, Rojan, I know I’m not a dragon, I’m just teasing Dylan.”
“And talking to yourself.”
“I’m talking to my dragon out loud. I have that right.”
“And attracting monsters in the Aradlin forest by doing so,” I responded.
He made a scoffing sound I had never heard him make before. “There is nothing in this forest bigger than me.”
“Really? I think I’m actually a bit taller than you myself.”
He stopped walking and looked a little confused. “I didn’t mean to say that. Actually, I think Rojan said that. I mean, I felt it, I thought it, but I think it was him. He’s very vain about how big and bad he is, but when you said that, I felt…”
“Like you were the dragon. Don’t stress it. You two will balance it out eventually. There are worse things to be than part dragon.”
“That’s just it, though. I have no idea what I am. Other than explaining to me there is no such thing as a dragon shifter, Rojan cannot tell me what I am. I can’t be part dragon, because both of my parents were completely sago. He said he was always there, so I can’t be possessed by the dragon. So how do I have a dragon in me who says he is a part of me, and how do I have dragon magic? Hey, we’re being followed by a draxuni pack.”
“Yeah, I know; we’re in their territory. I’m kind of worried you hadn’t realized it before,” I said. While I could feel them following us for a while now, he should have been able to smell them from the moment they started.
“I had realized it, but they have no threatening intentions, so I thought it was more important to ramble.”
“I think we should stop being friends; you’re starting to sound like me,” I said.
He nodded. “We think too much alike. We could be enemies,” he suggested. “That would make life interesting.”
“We would never accomplish anything because we could predict every move the other person would make. Could be fun, though, we should definitely try that someday. It almost feels like the draxuni are escorting us. Hey, when we meet the next god, try not to growl at him.”
“Warning: Subject change. ADHD alert.”
“You didn’t even know what ADHD was before I explained it to you.”
“You are reflecting,” he said.
“I’m not reflecting, I’m deflecting. Do not incorrectly use psychological terminology with me, I will beat you with my verbal dictionary. The only way we can convince them to trust us is to help them, and it doesn’t help when you make them want to eat you.”
“I don’t want them to walk all over us like they did that little Guardian. You go ahead and be nice and friendly. I’ll make sure they know how much a dragon will not roll over.”
I made him stop and turned him to face me. “I know you’re used to Divina, and I know your dragon makes you feel invincible, but you need to be more careful. We’ve already seen how unforgiving the gods can be and how easily they can make a decision based on a whim.”
Mordon gave me a hard stare, but I just stared back. I was right and he would give in first. Finally, after several minutes, he nodded. “I will try not to growl, but they treat us like dirt and I don’t like it.”
“They’re gods. To many of them, Guardians are just servants or pets, and people are just things. Fortunately, Tiamat isn’t like that.”
“I think Erono isn’t either,” he said. I frowned. “Yes, I know he said that stuff, but I got the impression that he was actually testing your loyalty to Tiamat. I suggest you trust Erono and Tiamat, but be wary of Regivus.”
“How can we heal Enep if we can’t trust Regivus?”
“Heal the other worlds first; prove that we’re here to help. And here we are.”
We stood at the edge of the forest, toeing the line between light and dark. The forest was silent, as if holding its breath. We left the dark and found ourselves on the beach of Mijii. If I had to, I could have found my way by ship to Shomodii, but my own navigational skills would not be tested that day; Edward was there.
When I saw Divina for the first time in weeks, I felt all of the pent up
love and loneliness. When I saw Edward standing there, it was like I was home with family.
Edward had only been in my life for three years, but I knew when he looked at me that he was proud, that if I did something wrong he would help me, and that he would always do what he thought was best for me. If Divina got mad at me, she would kick me out, and she was never afraid of telling me when I was wrong. If Edward got mad at me, he would assign me chores or ground me to the cabin. He would always try to help me learn from my own mistakes, while protecting me from any real danger.
I missed my father from the few minutes we had together, but Edward always treated me like a son. Edward never tried to replace my father, of course, but he always seemed to be making up for Ronez’s absence. It didn’t matter to him that I was an adult.
He may not have been my father biologically, but he brought me to Duran and taught me so much more than magic. Every preconceived notion I had of what a father was supposed to be was met by Edward and no one else ever came close. Besides, as my biological father’s identical twin brother, he couldn’t genetically get any closer to being my father.
He stood with a massive wooden boat behind him, much like the boat I met Mordon on. When we reached him, he hugged me. I knew that he wanted to check me for wounds, a habit he had developed very quickly after taking me as his apprentice. I realized in the back of my mind that I had grown taller since moving to Duran, as I was nearly as tall as him.
“Welcome back. Did you enjoy your adventure?”
I laughed. As if living on Duran wasn’t adventure enough. “It had its moments. Yours sounded a bit more touch-and-go.” His dark blue, long-sleeved, button-up shirt could hide a lot, but an ugly bruise peaked out over the top of the shirt neck. He even had a bruised eye.
“Not really; some drowning, getting lost in a forest, met a few mythological beasts, including a griffin.”
“A griffin, huh? I met him, too, on Malta.”
“Stay away from them; they are dangerous.” He glared as if I had told him I wanted to keep one as a pet. “I also met your ex-girlfriend.”
“Vivian? What were you doing on Dios?”
“I wasn’t on Dios, and neither was she.” He held up his hand when I went to interrupt him. “Nano has her now; she is safe.”
“She’s probably really worried.” I indicate Sammy, who was still strapped into the papoose that Mordon wore. “That’s her baby.”
Sammy chose that moment to be a brat. He reached out to me with both hands. “Dada!”
Edward sighed. “You’re not keeping him.”
I shrugged. “I know we’ll be giving him back to Vivian soon, but he won’t let me out of his sight until then. He’s very possessive of me. I don’t think he actually believes I’m his dad, I think he just teases us and maybe he can’t pronounce my name. Sammy, this is Edward.”
Edward looked surprised. “You’re back to calling me that?”
“I’m sorry. Kiro.”
“No, I didn’t mean you couldn’t call me Edward, just that I was surprised. You haven’t called me that in over a year.”
“He should probably be calling you ‘Dad,’” Mordon said.
I could feel myself heat up and Edward looked a little off, too. Yeah, he had been thinking of this. But was he thinking of leaving? Did he hate that we had more of a father-son relationship than an uncle-nephew one? He hated his children, would he hate me eventually?
“We don’t need to talk about this,” Edward said.
I nodded. “I agree. We’re fine, we don’t need to talk.” I was lying; I had no idea what he was thinking, but we were guys, so we would never talk.
“Oh, god, they’re both idiots,” Mordon moaned.
“Shut up, Mordon. Sammy, hit him,” I said.
The baby frowned. “Hitting is wrong, Dada.”
“What happened to your eye?” Mordon asked.
“I made the mistake of doubting my ability to survive out loud,” he said cryptically.
I nodded, understanding immediately. “Vivian hit you. She’s really a nice person, but her concern for you can be painful. Nano is in for an adventure.”
Mordon frowned at me. “Have you ever been with a gentle woman?”
I shrugged. “No.”
Before we could board the ship to Shomodii, Edward said that Mordon needed to change his eye color. Mordon started to take offense, but Edward explained. “Your eyes are very distinguishing. I am sure you are unaware, but there is a reward for your return to Mokii. People will know you by your eyes and try to kidnap you.”
“Why does my father want me to return so badly?” he asked.
Edward frowned. “I have not heard much about it, I’m sorry… but your father was injured. When he tried to spread his reign and bring more power to the throne, he angered some powerful wizards. He is expected not to survive the season.”
Mordon looked somewhere between stunned and sick to his stomach. I knew what he wanted, but he doubted himself. He was thinking that if he had been there, he could have used his dragon magic to help.
“I can heal him,” I said.
“If I go back there, I would be right back where I started. Back where I never wanted to be.”
“He’s your father, the only one you’ll ever get. You would never see him again if we don’t go and save him. Is that worth your freedom? What is Rojan saying?”
“Rojan says that if you saved him, it would be many years before I would have to be king.”
“Plenty of time to run away again,” I offered.
Mordon shook his head. “He would never let me run. He would probably lock me up. Or guilt me into leading by telling me how the people would suffer without a leader.” He looked at me. “I can’t go back. You need help,” he said.
“Edward can help me. Are you using me as an excuse not to return, or do you really want to help me over your father?”
He looked really upset as he thought about it. “I don’t know. I think both; I want to help you just as much as I want to never return to Mokii. Dylan, I just found out what I am, and I just found out that he had stopped my dragon from waking. Rojan says that he did it to protect me, but…”
“It still feels like he betrayed you and used magic against you.”
“Yes. I don’t want to see him again. But I don’t want him to die. Do I have time to think about it?” he asked Edward.
“You have until his time runs out. I cannot say when that will be.”
“Take Sammy. I need to think,” he said as he unstrapped the baby.
Sammy also looked like he was going to cry or be sick. I went to take him, but Edward beat me to it. “Tiamat warned me that you shouldn’t come in contact with Sammy,” Edward said. Mordon didn’t stick around to hear anything else; he went straight for the ship. “He’ll be okay.”
“He didn’t disguise his eyes.”
“I doubt anyone will see him the entire trip.”
* * *
I discovered my book wasn’t the only thing that could induce dreams; the gods could as well. While I knew for sure I was dreaming, I also knew Divina, who was lying next to me in bed, was real and controlling the dream.
“I miss you,” she said.
“I miss you, too.” I knew it wouldn’t particularly be a happy dream.
“I hate it.”
“I know.”
“They don’t get it. My brothers think I’m just playing around with this body, or think I stay this way to spite them. They don’t get that it comes with these emotions. I feel everything that humans and sago feel, and it’s sick. It’s really, really sick that I feel so many emotions every day and they affect what I do and the decisions I make. But you know what’s even worse?” She glared at me. “Every day I am with you I feel so much more than any other day. I should hate you for it, because I didn’t know what I was getting into. I was playing around at first… when I first took this form. I wanted to know more about why people, all people on every world, did stupid things for stup
id reasons. Soon I wanted out. I wanted to leave this body and return to my real power, but I couldn’t give it up just yet. It was never the right time.”
“Life is difficult to give up.”
“But I never realized I was still missing so much until I met you. I thought I loved your father, thought that that was what love was. When your father died, I knew I could see him anytime I wanted… but I never visited him.
“You were weak and ignorant of things. I hate weakness and ignorance, but you just smiled through it and I couldn’t hate you. Sometimes you are just so stupid that I laugh or I get angry. But sometimes you are just so smart that it makes me feel like an idiot and I love you for it because I feel so alive… so mortal. But that makes no sense because I’ve had this body… I’ve been alive for so much longer than you have, yet you make me feel more alive.”
“Some people can live a lifetime in a few short days, and some go their entire lives without living.”
“What if I changed my mind? What if I don’t want to be this anymore? I want to return to being a real god.”
“That will always be a choice you have. But until you make that choice, I will spend every day I have with you making you love me so much that you can’t do it.”
“Ronez used to tell me stories that humans came up with, in every culture, about people killing themselves because they couldn’t be with the one they loved. Duran has them, too. I told you about Leila… I thought they were all stupid to kill themselves. I understood that you could miss someone when they were away, but I never understood that the knowledge that you would never see them again could be so much worse. It’s not even the missing them part, it’s the thought of how many days are ahead of you that they will not be in.”
“You’ve felt this, then?” I asked.
“My brothers wanted to kill you; I couldn’t help but to think of life without you. But they could never kill you. I know you don’t believe me, because I’m not as strong as them in this form, but I am. I have something they don’t. If they killed you, then I would be forced to live without you, and that could never happen. It doesn’t matter how much more powerful they are, because I would never let them take you from me. I may hate it, I may fight it, and I may deny it, but I love you.”
