“I don’t know what she was thinking when she shifted in the Between.” ~Caius
Chapter 11
Caius crouched in front of me and grabbed my wrist, extending my arm as he examined the long, deep scratches left by the kitten’s claws while I clutched the cloak close with my other hand and stared at the wings sweeping behind him.
“Not even I would attempt to shift in the Between. I don’t know how you came back from that.” His gaze searched mine. “You shouldn’t have been able to.”
Was that why he’d been afraid? I shrugged and looked away, uncertain how I felt about my ability to shift back. Obviously, it was a good thing, but what did it mean that I could? My gaze fell on his blood-covered hands and I swallowed hard. They flashed a glowing golden-gray and the blood was gone.
I raised my eyes to find his body clean of blood and his wounds already healing. It reminded me of my own injuries, most reflected, but not all. The pain I hadn’t acknowledged forced its way to the forefront. Caius’s fangs ripped open the skin on his wrist before he held it out to me. Closing my eyes, I took it, surprised he’d remembered not to force it on me.
When he felt I’d had enough, Caius created clothes and handed them to me before he stood and walked away. My stomach cramped against the fireball of his blood and my muscles trembled. Like the last time though, it didn’t last long. In my peripheral vision, I watched him bring his arms together again. Another flash of light and his wings were gone as if they’d never been. He created a new shirt and pulled it on, then picked something up before putting out the fire I had made.
Caius turned to me, his tone clipped when he said, “Clean yourself up; the smell of that much blood will draw predators. We need a new place to rest for the night.”
Wondering what his problem was, I managed to get to an unsoiled area of ground. I swallowed hard in an attempt to stop the desire to gag at the sight of the mangled bodies, and kept my eyes fixed on a point in the darkness as I used my power to clean like Caius had taught me. I still wasn’t perfect at it and it took me three tries to get it all. I pulled on the clothes while he kept his back turned. My suddenly shaky legs wouldn’t hold me long and once dressed, I sank to the ground. My emotions tumbled all over the place as I saw the battle again in my mind, this time with my humanity one hundred percent intact.
The kitten crept out of the trees, which had remained strangely silent and still, and crawled into my lap. I buried my fingers in her fur and hugged her close, taking comfort from her presence and glad she seemed okay after the way Thedon had thrown her. She had come to my defense even though she wasn’t big enough or powerful enough to take down a Sentinel. I couldn’t keep thinking of her as “the kitten.” She deserved a name.
She twisted in my lap and stared directly at me, her intense blue eyes boring into mine. The name, Amisi, floated into my mind. I’d never heard it before, but it was pretty, I would call her that. Amisi blinked slowly in satisfaction as if pleased with my thoughts. How had I come up with that name? Or did the kitten just name herself?
Yeah, I know, my mind was rambling. Seeing people ripped apart in front of me while I helped in my bird form had that effect. This wasn’t like the battle in the mortal world. I’d lost too much blood and had been too close to shock to really see it then. I didn’t have that problem this time.
Caius turned to look at me, his gaze raking over me as if to make sure I’d cleaned all the blood, or maybe to make sure I was healing fast enough. Which I was, my wounds were almost gone, just like his. “You ready?”
I didn’t answer. How could I be ready for anything? I couldn’t even bring myself to look at the dead men. Or what was left of them. According to the prophecy, I was going to do this on a massive scale. My mind shuddered away from the thought. These hadn’t been eaters or spawn from the Hells.
Caius appraised me. There was nothing comforting in his voice when he said, “War is coming whether you want it to or not. You don’t have the luxury of falling apart over death. Get up.”
“You didn’t have to kill them.” It wasn’t an accusation, just a stating of fact. “You could have overpowered them, left them all unconscious or something.”
He regarded me with eyes that still simmered with anger. “News of what I am would be a spark to dry tinder. Death buys the best silence.”
I shuddered. Unsure of how to deal with the emotions swirling inside me, I slowly climbed to my feet and set Amisi on hers. Caius advanced on me, the fury building in his eyes again. “And while we are discussing what did or didn’t have to be done, please tell me exactly why, in name of Charon, you shifted here.”
“The kitten…Amisi, released me from Thedon’s shackles, but after he threw her into the trees, he grabbed me. I didn’t want to be caught again, so I did what I had to in order to escape. I wish I had thought of it sooner.” I drew myself up. “Got a problem with that?”
“Yes.” He glowered at me. “Do you have any idea how easy it is to get trapped that way here? You could have ended up fully raven, Jo. Heart, soul, and thought a raven with everything that is you and every path back to your normal form erased.”
“But I didn’t.”
“You got lucky. Somehow, beyond all reason, you got lucky.” He pointed at me. “Don’t ever do that again.”
Caius turned without waiting for a reply and started down the path. I watched him go for a moment. Despite his anger, for the first time, I glimpsed something that made my heart ache with silly hope. Did he really care that much? When I finally followed, I had to jog to catch up with him. The action cleared my head a little.
I trudged silently beside Caius through the darkened landscape lit only by the trees several yards away. Over the next hour, the shock of the confrontation with the Sentinels and his anger over my shifting wore off and a thousand questions crowded in. Out of all of them, only one screamed to be answered. “How can you have wings?”
His irritated sigh told me he had been hoping I wouldn’t ask. It had something to do with why his blood was so different from other demonborn. This was the secret he was keeping. That he only trusted with a few, namely Rowen, Malik, Lilly and a couple of his other siblings.
Wait, Malik and Lilly. They had the same half-moon markings on their forearms, the only others besides Caius. “Lilly and Malik have wings too, don’t they?”
Caius turned on me with a suddenness that nearly made me step back. “If you breathe a word of this to anyone and endanger my siblings, you will regret ever knowing me.”
The words were like a smack in the face. It almost looked like he instantly regretted saying them, but I’m pretty sure that was my wishful thinking. Anger and hurt warred for supremacy inside me. I embraced the anger, needing it to steady me. I crossed my arms and glared at him. “You, are an idiot. And you can take your damned secrets, your wings, and whatever else you have, and shove them up your ass.”
Brushing past him, I stormed down the trail. How dare he assume I would run around telling people. How dare he threaten me? Markings prickled across my skin, fire crawled around my hands and I was suddenly irritated that it wouldn’t affect him.
I had trusted him with my life on more than one occasion, had been considering trusting him with more, and he doubted my ability to understand that however he had wings was something that needed to be kept under wraps?
“Josephine.”
The growl in his tone only irritated me further as did his use of my full name. My voice was biting when I glanced over my shoulder and snapped, “Forget it, Caius. It’s obvious I’m not one of the people in your trusted circle. Don’t worry, though; I won’t say anything to anybody and not for your benefit. But for Lilly, because she saved my ass twice and I owe her that much.”
“I distinctly remember saving your ass a few times as well.” He walked beside me now.
I shot him a glare. “Yeah well, you just rendered all of that null and void when you threatened me.”
He walked ahead and planted himself in front
of me. I moved to go around him, he stepped with me. I tried the other direction, he blocked me again. With something between a snarl and sigh I propped my hands on my hips and scowled at him. “What?”
“You would not be the first to betray me if you did. My ‘circle of trust,’ as you called it, is small for a reason.”
“Good for you. But in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not the people who betrayed you. Of course, I doubt that detail has penetrated that thick head of yours.” He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off. “And there are other ways to ask for secrecy besides threatening people.”
I didn’t want to admit how much it stung when he’d done that. It was easier to be angry. Easier to show anger. Hurt had egged on bullies who sensed my differences, worried other people in my life, and made me vulnerable.
He crossed his arms and frowned. “This isn’t a game, Josephine. I don’t have the option of being nice first, of giving people chances.”
“I never suggested it was a game.” The anger was waning enough to let the hurt rise and though I desperately wanted to, I couldn’t get the anger back. “It’s not like I’m some complete stranger to you.”
I looked quickly away as tears stung my eyes, not wanting him to see them. He didn’t need to know how much his words had hurt me. It was stupid of me to allow myself to feel so much for Caius. Or to care so much about any of this. No big deal, I would get it under control.
“Maybe so.” The hard tone remained. “And were it only me, I wouldn’t be so quick to jump straight to the idea of violence. Malik can probably take care of himself for the most part. However, Lilly is young and not prepared for the repercussions such a revelation would bring.”
“I still don’t even know how it’s possible, but if it’s that dangerous, why reveal it at all? Why not use fire against the Sentinels? Or your Archdemon powers?” I still couldn’t look at him.
“Sentinels are designed to apprehend soldier level angels and demons, they are as immune to my fire as they would be to your staff. Those things produce a stinging sensation to them, nothing more. And I used most of the soul energy I had left to help you when we battled in the trees. I could have probably killed Asmodias with it, but that still would have left Thedon and the other two. The only way to defeat them was to overpower them. If I were full Archdemon, like my mother, I could have taken them with ease. However, I am only half.” He sighed and I chanced a quick look at him. His gaze locked on mine. “Just like I’m half-Archangel thanks to a well-kept secret between my mother and Samael.”
I gaped at him. “Samael? But he’s…”
“The highest ranking among the Archangels, the right hand of the gods. The one angel who can walk the line between light and dark without fear of consequences. A guard, an executioner, an assassin, whatever they need and, more importantly, for whichever side needs him.”
The memory of his mother saying she’d chosen Caius’s sire carefully rose to the surface of my mind as Caius continued, “Even with all of that, angel-demon crosses are not supposed to happen. Crossing with any bloods other than mortal isn’t allowed because it essentially creates a race with the ability to draw power from both sides.”
“So when you fought the Sentinels, when you had wings, you were…what?”
“Half-Archangel, half-Archdemon. The mix, the hybrid of the two makes me stronger than both and makes me a dangerous enemy to even my mother. There is a reason she sends her minions against me, but has never fought me directly. She hoped I would be a dutiful son and increase her power. When I proved less than amicable, she tried again. Much to her displeasure, Malik didn’t work out either. So, after a while, she tried one more time, hoping a daughter would be more likely to do her bidding. And hoping the large age difference between Lilly and I would keep us apart. She is quite disgusted with me for stealing Lilly from her claws.”
“You certainly had no trouble tearing the Sentinels apart.” I looked away again.
“Their surprise made it easier, but when I pull on both sides of my heritage, I am more than a match for Sentinels. If someone truly wants to end me, they better bring enough numbers with them, or a god.”
“So you can only use your Archangel heritage when you bring your markings together?”
“No, it’s always there. But for immortals, who your mother is, determines which power is dominant. I can do some things without showing what I am, like when I made Asmodias release your arm, or with the way I can heal so quickly, the way my blood heals you. But for the power to defeat four Sentinels, that took calling fully on both sides of my heritage.”
“Why does it matter that it’s you I’m bound to?”
“The combination of my heritages makes my blood compatible with yours, or anyone’s really. Without that, there would be no risk of a full bond between us. Using as much of my blood as I did to heal you that first time would have likely killed you. And I wasn’t entirely certain at the time that it wouldn’t. The only other time I tried to heal a person of Morrigan heritage, it was during the war of Midtween and she was too far gone for even my blood to help. But like her, you were dying anyway. There was nothing left to lose.”
I snorted, though I didn’t feel any amusement. I should have been amazed by the revelation of his heritage, but I was still a little angry and a lot hurt. Maybe if I had grown up on this side of the veil, who his father was would have shocked me more. “Since that’s all cleared up, let’s go. Like I said, I promise I won’t say anything. I wouldn’t want to regret having ever met you. Besides I have enough people wanting me dead without adding you to the list.”
I started down the path. The thought of Caius wanting me dead made my eyes sting again. Walking would be good; it would give me time to get my emotions under control.
“Jo.” The timbre of his voice had lost its hard edge.
Swallowing a groan, I turned back, my eyes focused on a rounded rock at the edge of the stream where Amisi sat. “What now?”
“I will never be on that list.”
“Unless I piss you off too much or betray you.” The stupid rock wavered as tears swam in my eyes.
Caius moved closer to me. “Not even then. I never said I would want to see you dead. I’ve been betrayed by someone I cared about. I may not be able to forgive Nadia, but I didn’t kill her. Some things don’t just turn off.”
Was that supposed to comfort me? He may not have been able to turn those feelings off like a spigot, but eventually, they had gone away. It was obvious from our time at her house that he felt only tolerance for her at best. “Then why did you say I would regret meeting you?”
“The demon in me has a tendency to speak without thought when danger threatens the siblings that follow me.”
I only nodded. “You care a lot for them.”
It wasn’t a question, more of a realization. One that made me wish he cared as much for me. Which was stupid. He was only with me because of the bond and our need to stop the Lost. Sure he seemed to like kissing me, but love and lust didn’t necessarily go hand in hand. What was I thinking? Did I really expect him to love me? Did I love him?
Oh, I didn’t want to be truthful with myself regarding that, but there it was, glaring back at me. I don’t know if it’s because he’d never lied to me or because I’d always felt I could trust him with my life. Even my manner after his hurtful words told the truth. If I actually feared he would kill me, I wouldn’t have told him off. But somehow I’d known his words were empty. Somewhere in all of the life and death situations we’d been thrown in, love for this moody, protective demonborn had crept up on me.
“More than most know,” Caius said, bringing me back to reality. “They have always stood with me, even in those times when we were pitted against Eisheth.”
“It’s good they have you.”
“It’s a strange thing,” he said suddenly. “Even the demon in me regretted the threat as soon as it was out.”
Confused, I finally looked at him. “Why does it matter?”
>
“It created some confusion within me. I don’t usually make threats I don’t intend to carry out. But as soon as it was said, it became the only time I’ve lied to you. My siblings are a weakness of mine. I am theirs. Only they dare to verbally attack me or make insulting remarks to me. Even if they came at me with fangs and claws out, I would subdue them, not seriously maim or kill. Love does funny things like that.”
There was something buried in his words that my brain was having trouble understanding, but my heart leaped in my chest as if it already knew. “Why tell me this?’
“Because I let you say whatever you want to me. I always have.”
My lungs stilled. Wait, what was he saying? I was afraid to ask, afraid to hope. I had to force myself to pull in a breath, force my silly heart to calm down. Finally, I made myself ask, “Why?”
Caius moved close enough I could feel the heat coming off his skin. His molten gaze held mine as he brushed his knuckles along my jaw then slid his fingers around the nape of my neck. “Because I’ve found another weakness. One I’m willing to watch the world burn for.”
My heart beat frantically as if trying to shout its agreement. “You’ve been my weakness for a while now.”
Something lit behind his eyes. He pulled me against his body as his lips crushed down on mine. I gave as much as I got. There was nothing gentle in this kiss. It was full of need, of the words we hadn’t said, the feelings we hadn’t given voice to, and the fear of betrayal. Our breathing grew ragged; he pulled me tighter against him. My heart beat wildly in my chest as my pulse thrummed in time to the heat building inside me. My body was on fire and the hard length pressed against me left no doubt I wasn’t alone.
Caius groaned and started to pull back, but I didn’t want it to end. I wanted it to go on, to go a lot further. I grazed his lower lip with my teeth.
He stilled beneath my hands. “You know not what you do.”
“I know exactly what I’m doing.” I stood on tiptoe and nipped my way along his jaw.
Betrayed (Raven Daughter Book 2) Page 8
