He pulled me into an embrace. The angelic power bled into him as he began to siphon off the extra. The amount flowing through me lessened dramatically, though there was still too much.
“You still have to get it under control,” Caius said quietly. “Let it go.”
I knew I should, but it felt so good standing in my bubble with him. I didn’t want to let it go. Caius tilted my face up with one hand. “It feels wonderful, I know. But you have to let it go or you won’t ever feel this again.”
“Why?” Tears pooled in my eyes and made tracks down my face. I didn’t want to be unable to feel this again. In fact, I wanted to feel it all the time, to never stop. I knew I wasn’t being rational, but the sensation of being in the bubble with him was overriding my practical side.
“Because you aren’t prepared to handle this much. That takes time and use. You have to build the room inside to use this amount.” He smoothed my hair away from my face. “You will die trying to hold it.”
I didn’t want to let it go, but I didn’t want to die either. Whatever happened in the future I wanted to face it with Caius. “How do I let it go?”
“Imagine it coming back to your hand. See it getting smaller.” His voice, his calm, filled the space around me and soaked inside me. I closed my eyes and focused everything on his words.
Although I couldn’t see it, I felt the bubble contract until it was just big enough for the two of us. I held onto it a moment longer like an addict trying to drag out my last fix.
Caius whispered in my ear, “Let it go.”
I finally released it. The bubble in my mind and the one around us collapsed. The sudden loss of it drew a sob from me. Caius’s mouth crushed down on mine and he kissed me like he could fill up the empty space left behind by my first large dose of angel power. I kissed him back fervently, desperate for what he offered as tears streamed down my cheeks.
My mind was a chaotic mess of unreasonable loss and grief all tangled up with love and happiness. He buried one of his hands in my hair while the other arm kept me crushed against the length of his body. Slowly, the emptiness dissipated and I was left feeling whole again.
Caius finally pulled away. I stared at him, my breath ragged and my pulse thrumming. He smiled, his eyes a smoldering liquid gold. “The first time really grasping angel power is always the hardest.” His hands found my face, thumbs brushing the tears from my cheeks. “It will be easier next time.”
I leaned against him, suddenly exhausted as if the bubble had taken my energy with it. “Why didn’t it feel this way at Nadia’s? Or before that when the serans attacked?” I needed to understand what made this different.
“You used fear to summon your angelic powers then. Fear is powerful and it did the job. Nothing compares to love though. Except for absolute hatred. Only those two emotions are powerful enough to drive people to do things they wouldn’t normally do.”
Though I wanted to stay wrapped up in Caius, I pushed away. My gaze moved past Bethany’s open shock, James’s envious look, Malik’s grin, Lilly’s eye roll, and came to rest on Rowen’s thunderous expression. Well damn.
***
“A physical connection immediately after the release of that much angel power always makes the recovery easier.” ~Caius
Chapter 14
It looked like Rowen was going to blow a gasket and I started wondering if Children could have strokes. He stormed toward us; his dark eyes pinned on me. Caius moved so he partially blocked me as Rowen got close.
Rowen, his expression murderous, barely glanced at Caius. “Out of my way, Demon.”
“Not a chance.” Caius stood tense as if he expected an attack.
Rowen bristled and looked like he was getting ready to challenge Caius.
“Oh for Charon’s sake.” Though still feeling like I’d just run a marathon, I rolled my eyes, pushed past Caius, and stood in front of Rowen with my arms folded over my chest. One eyebrow raised, I asked, “What?”
“I thought I was perfectly clear back in the mortal world.” A scowl drew Rowen’s brows together. “However, in case I wasn’t—”
“I was pretty clear too,” I cut in. “And in case you don’t remember, I will remind you that I said I was going to do whatever I wanted and whoever concocted the rules can kiss my ass.”
“Jo, there are consequences to be taken into consideration.” Rowen tried to reason.
I wasn’t interested. “This isn’t open for discussion and anyone who doesn’t like that,” I looked pointedly at both Rowen and Lilly, “can leave if they can’t handle it.”
“As if my opinion matters to Caius.” Lilly rolled her eyes and walked a little ways away.
Rowen seemed like he was ready to continue his tirade. I met his gaze and waited. Finally, he said, “You don’t have so many allies that you can afford to alienate those around you.”
“If my allies are willing to stand against me because of this, then I could never trust them anyway.”
Rowen shoved his hands into the pockets of his cloak. “This may be more than some can handle, even if they could deal with the situation before.”
I shrugged. “Like I said, if they can’t handle this, then they can’t handle enough for me to trust them. I would rather stand alone than be surrounded by people who will pick and choose their loyalty to me.”
“And you think the demonborn are loyal to you?” Rowen almost seemed to tremble with anger.
“Of course they aren’t loyal to me. I’m not stupid. But they are loyal to Caius.” I glanced at the man standing next to me. “And I trust Caius.”
“This is more than just the laws. There is a prophecy—”
“Yeah, let’s talk about that,” I interrupted. “Caius only knew part of it. But you know all of it.”
Rowen shot Caius a look full of barely contained anger. “You told her about the prophecy?”
“She deserves the truth, Rowen. Besides, what exactly did you plan to say after you brought it up just now? Or were you going to lie to her?” Caius’s tone was hard as steel.
“What if it doesn’t even pertain to her? Did you think of that?”
“It doesn’t matter what I think. Or what you think. Others will be convinced she is the one it speaks of. Whether or not it actually applies to her, the seeds are already sown. Too many believe it does. She deserves to know.”
“Did you forget I was standing right here?” I asked acidly.
“No,” Rowen snapped. “Yes, I know the full prophecy.”
I raised an eyebrow impatiently. “Well? If people are going to be getting murderous because they think I’m part of some prophecy, then I should know what it is.”
Rowen stood silent for a long moment, undecided. Finally, he sighed in defeat. “I will tell you, but keep in mind I don’t know what it means. No one does. If anyone knew the exact meaning, they would do everything in their power to either make it happen or stop it.” He shook his head. “They may anyway, even though they only know parts of it.”
I waited while he gathered his thoughts, trying to not push even though it seemed as if he should have told me this a long time ago, whether it actually applied to me or not. I didn’t like being kept in the dark and, quite frankly, I’d had enough of it.
“I don’t know what parts Caius knows, so I will just recite the whole thing.” He took a breath and began,
“When eyes of the four see as one,
And in love the bloods blend
Comes the final passing
With it the end
Sound the trumpets
Hear the thunder
Let the ties
Be torn asunder
Before the Key
Veils fall away
And truth reveals
The price to pay
Cast the Child
Upon the wind
With darkness her consort
She returns again
Filled with life
She walks with death
A shining
light
A fire’s shadowy breath
The sown seed
Is Death’s treasure
Set upon by all sides
Darkness defends her
At her feet
The blood of war
For when the Child comes
The Morrigan rests forevermore.”
Most of it made no sense, but just like when Caius had told me what he knew, the parts that did made it clear I would start a war. People would die because of me. And, it sounded like I would cause the death of the Morrigan. “And you don’t know what any of it means?”
“It wasn’t meant to be fully interpreted by us. Its ambiguous wording is to keep it from becoming self-fulfilling,” Rowen said. “If the true meaning isn’t clear, then no one can force it to occur.”
“Yeah, well no matter the exact meaning of the whole thing, it seems to say plainly that I will start a war and somehow end the Morrigan. And if that is so, then how can you all be here?” I looked from him to Bethany and James.
“These things are designed to twist meanings. I don’t think there is a way you can end her. Her power is above even that of other gods. I can’t imagine how you would even begin to achieve that,” Rowen said, his tone gentling.
“Then why would there be a war at all?” I really didn’t want to be the cause of anything like that.
“Because there are plenty who take it at face value. They ignore the parts they don’t understand and latch on to the ones they think they do.” His sigh was resigned this time. “There are many who would like to see her ended because they would like the freedom that would give them. It would mean an end to the veils. An end to the majority of rules. There are just as many who will do anything to preserve the Morrigan, for she is all. And then there are those who believe the whole thing is a bunch of made up gibberish and see it only as a power grab and will attempt to use it to increase their faction’s standing.”
His expression and voice became imploring. “Think of the first two lines. ‘When the eyes of the four see as one, and in love the bloods blend.’ Can’t you see how many are going to apply those to you and Caius? You two have a partial blood bond. One that is a little more than partial. Between the two of you, there is Angel, Demon, Morrigan, and even Mortal blood, although the last is admittedly an extremely small percentage. You are together, in a relationship. The four see as one. ‘In love the blood blends.’ Those who believe in the prophecy, either way, will see your relationship with Caius as proof of it.”
I lifted my chin. “Then let them believe. I’m not going to let some prophecy that may or may not have anything to do with me, that may or may not be true, rule my life any more than I will let the laws I broke by being born.”
With a string of curses, Rowen stalked off. He didn’t leave, but he did stay away from me while he paced and muttered to himself. A twinge of sadness crept over me. Rowen had been like a replacement parent after my mother died and I hoped he wouldn’t turn his back on me. If he did, I wouldn’t find fault in him, nor would I hate him. No matter what happened, I would always care for the man who was my guide.
Glancing at Caius, I considered the prophecy. Whoever had sentenced me to capture and death by the Sentinels had cast me upon the wind. Caius was half Archdemon, was he the darkness it referred to? Did it really matter? If it couldn’t be self-fulfilling, then it couldn’t be avoided either. If it really was a true prophecy and it really was about me, then it would play out anyway because the Morrigan had already seen it happen. And no matter what I said, it would rule my life either way because believers would find me either to stop me or stand with me. War would happen whether any of it was true or not.
I sighed and walked over to where my friends had watched the confrontation with worry in their eyes. Despite what they said earlier, I was suddenly uncertain if they were still planning to stick around. I glanced between them, trying to gauge if our year of friendship was strong enough. Bethany reached out and squeezed my hand, letting me know that she’d meant it when she said we would always be friends. James pulled me into a hug. “You do know how to find trouble, Jo.”
I laughed and wiped away the last of the dampness lingering on my cheeks from my first experience with a heavy dose of angelic power. Even now I wanted to embrace it again. I wanted to recreate the bubble and stay in it forever with the people I cared about and forget the rest of the world, the brewing war, and the prophecy that claimed I would do horrible things.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t do that. It seemed Caius had decided I’d had enough practice that morning. It was time to get on the way to the second Watcher. If we didn’t stop the flood of lost souls, the rest of it would mean nothing. Malik put out the fire and Lilly made it look as if none of us had ever been there. I shoved down the dread and fear that tried to consume me over the prophecy and locked it away.
The path was wide enough for two to walk comfortably side by side, but not wide enough to accommodate more. At first, I’d tried to hang back, figuring Caius would want one of his siblings walking at his side. After some initial confusion where I kept trying to make room for his siblings and they kept backing off, it started to become clear it wasn’t they who would be walking with him.
“Jo,” Caius said with a raised brow. “Were you planning on traveling today or did you wish to spend more time creating some strange new dance with my brother and sister?”
James laughed and amusement filled Bethany’s expression. Rowen just glared at the lot of us. With warmth in my cheeks, I took my place at Caius’s side as we started walking. Rowen walked directly behind us and I could feel his eyes boring into my back as if he could somehow change my mind if he stared hard enough. He didn’t realize that once I settled on a course of action, I didn’t falter.
Bethany and James walked behind him. Lilly and Malik brought up the rear. As we walked, I listened to Malik and Bethany quietly bicker at each other, while Lilly occasionally made irritated noises though she seemed to get along okay with James. Warmth filled me at having my friends with me again, even if it was edged with dread over what I might be dragging them into.
That night, after Caius put me through another rigorous training session and Lilly returned with dinner, Malik set a fire to burn so it could be cooked. The smell wafted into the cool air and made my stomach rumble. When it was finished cooking, I gratefully accepted my portion.
Amisi, who had remained unseen all day, didn’t seem able to resist the smell of food and finally crept out of the dark and crouched beside me while hissing at anyone who got too close.
Bethany and James sat as close as Amisi seemed comfortable with while I gave her a large chunk of my food. She was growing at an astronomical rate and I could only assume she was hunting on her own during the day.
“How did you end up getting a Bastet kitten?” Bethany asked as she eyed Amisi.
I considered her question before answering. “I’m not sure I got her.” At Bethany’s confused look, I clarified, “I mean, I think she got me. Amisi showed up the first morning we were here and has followed us ever since. She’s usually out of sight most of the day, only coming in to eat and sleep near us at night.”
“Leave it to you to befriend one of the most dangerous, feral, and least likely to ever be tamed kinds of cat,” James said with a chuckle. “Bastets are well known for their wildness and the ability to use magic.”
I thought of the blue light that had rippled over Amisi’s fur when she tore apart the shackles Thedon had put on me. Smiling at the cat, I reached over and ran my hand down her back and was rewarded by bug-like chatter and a purr.
“Life around you is certainly interesting,” Bethany said. She tossed a bit of meat toward the young cat.
Amisi arched her back and hissed before turning away and pointedly ignoring the bite. James gave me a pointed look and said, “See what I mean?”
I chuckled and continued to stroke her back. “Then I will be thankful she seems to count me as a friend.”
Despite the extra people, Amisi curled against me like she had every night since I met her. I fell asleep to the sounds of the trees hunting as a backdrop to Amisi’s purring.
***
“The prophecy would play out or it wouldn’t. Either way, it changed nothing.” ~Caius
Chapter 15
One evening, several days after the others joined us, Caius approached me as usual. “Time to work on your fighting skills.”
Skills wasn’t exactly the way I would describe my fighting abilities. I was getting better, but Caius still had to move slowly. To his credit, he never let our relationship get in the way of my training. He never took it easy on me and I hit the ground more often than I liked.
For a brief moment during our training session, I almost felt like I was holding my own against his slowed attacks. The feeling lasted all of about ten seconds before one of his legs swept mine from beneath me at the same time his hand connected with my chest and sent me slapping hard against the ground.
Caius stepped back. “Once again, you’re dead. Get up.”
“It doesn’t help that she’s fighting someone who can move so much faster than her,” Lilly said as she stalked up and shoved her brother aside. “You’ve taught her the stances and the moves, but she is a long way from ever actually winning against you. No matter how fast your blood matures her powers, only age can bring the kind of speed you have.”
I pushed myself to my feet, surprised at Lilly’s interference. Didn’t she hate me?
“Do you have another idea?” Caius folded his arms and sent his sister a glare.
“What about the other reapers? Surely they are more her speed.” Lilly motioned toward Bethany and James.
Caius snorted. “I doubt they’ve been taught to fight anything more than eaters.” He glanced at Rowen. “Am I right?”
Betrayed (Raven Daughter Book 2) Page 11
