by Amy Richie
I smoothed my hair down as best I could and looked distastefully down at the clothes I had on. I sighed. Well, this was the best I could do.
When I first walked out of the room Nickolas was smiling, but his smile faded when he looked at me. I self-consciously straightened my shirt.
“What?”
“No, it’s nothing,” he tried to sound off-handed.
“Just tell me,” I demanded. What was wrong with me?
“It’s just…I thought you would want to change,” he said awkwardly.
“I don’t have any other clothes.” My face was blank. Change? How?
“I provided something for you to change into.”
“Oh. I didn’t see anything.” I laughed and clapped my hands together. “You are too good to me Nickolas!”
“You might not want to thank me just yet,” he warned.
“Why not? Of course I thank you.” I giggled again and spun around to scurry back to the room.
“It’s a dress, not men’s clothes.”
“A what?” I didn’t hear what else he said; I was too excited about a new outfit and hopefully a bath. I spun around the room, searching for a pile of clothes.
“It’s there, on the bed,” Nickolas pointed from the doorway.
“Oh.” I picked up the neatly folded material. It appeared to have only one large hole. Where would my arms and legs go? Maybe this was a coat or a blanket of some sort. “Is this it then?”
“You have it upside down.” He regarded me curiously, without smiling.
“Oh, of course.” I gave a nervous laugh and tried to right the large garment.
After a few awkward tries, Nickolas came to the rescue me — again. “Here; it goes like this.” He shook it out and held it up for me to see. From that angle it did look more wearable, but only slightly.
“This is like what my angel was wearing in my dream. Only hers was white.” The one Nickolas held was different shades of brown. The top being dark and the bottom being light. “What do you call it?”
“It’s a dress, Eva.”
“A dress?” He nodded. “What a lovely name!” I looked at him with my smile beaming. “I’m sure I won’t look as good as my angel wearing a dress, but…you know.” I shrugged and ran my fingers over the soft fabric. “Thank you again, Nickolas.”
“You will look beautiful and you are quite welcome.” He draped the dress over his arms and leaned down to pick up the other fabric pieces.
“Oooohhh, what are those?”
He looked at me with a mixture of shock and horror, and then he laughed. “Come on, I’ll show you where you can bathe.”
I bounded after him, my dreams from the night before all but forgotten. It would be nice to have clothes on that didn’t embarrass Nickolas — or me. I didn’t feel embarrassed but Nickolas thought I should be.
I was disappointed when he led me to a small stream. “The water might be a little chilly and shallow, but the river will be too dangerous right now.” I nodded. Oh well, water was water. I tried to look on the bright side.
“I’ll be back at the cabin,” Nickolas told me, “in case you need anything.” He cast one last look at me before disappearing in the trees.
I took the men’s under things off and let them fall on the ground. I wouldn’t be needing those again. Nickolas was right about the water being chilly but after a few minutes I got used to it and was able to relax.
I sat flat down on the bottom of the stream and the water still just barely covered my waist. I used the small square of soap Nickolas had given me to wash my body as best I could. I lay down to wash my long hair.
After I was satisfied with my cleanliness, I stepped carefully out of the stream and on to my discarded under clothes. I twisted and turned the dress so I could put it over my head, but I lost my balance and fell to the ground. After an almost silent oath, I got back in the water and washed off the dirt.
I tried the dress again. I got more and more aggravated with each failed attempt. There was just too much material. I threw the dress aside and picked up the other pieces of clothing. There was definitely less material but they looked far more complicated. I turned it around and around in my hands but I couldn’t see a way to put it on.
I threw them on top of the dress and put my hands on my hips. “Now what am I going to do?” I muttered. I took two slow breaths before fully deciding what I had to do.
Determination made my steps sure and quick. I wrapped the dress around myself and scooped up the rest of the clothing. I stomped the whole short way back to the cabin where Nickolas was waiting for me.
He was walking out of the cabin when I came clear of the trees. He watched me warily. “What is it, Eva?”
“I can’t get this…dress on Nickolas.” I was still angry.
His eyes narrowed. “Ok.”
“Will you help me?”
“Me?” He shook his head and took a step backwards. “Eva I can’t…I mean, what do you expect me to do…to help you with?”
I took another step towards him. “There is no reason to be embarrassed. It’s just skin, right? I’m not embarrassed.” I put my hand to my chest to emphasize my words.
“It is more than just skin, Eva. And I cannot help you.” His words were so final.
I pursed my lips into a pout. I looked down at the ground, defeated. My eyes filled with tears. But then I steadied my quivering chin and looked back up at him. He looked concerned but no closer to helping me. “Then what am I supposed to do, stay wrapped in a blanket?” I tugged at the fabric around me. “Or a dress?” No way. He would just have to get over it. With a single movement I let the dress fall to the ground.
His eyes widened and he let out a gasp. “Eva, this is most…”
I squared my shoulders. “You’ll have to help me now. Or you’ll have to sit with me naked. I don’t care either way.” I shrugged my shoulders.
“You will wrap yourself immediately. I will go fetch a lady from the village for you.”
I shrugged again and walked purposefully past him into the cabin. “I don’t care what you do.” I stood as close to the fire as possible. It wasn’t really cold, but it was chilly. I hoped he wouldn’t make me wait while he went to get someone. He could be so stubborn!
“Eva.” He tried to sound angry but I heard the quiver in his voice.
“Yes?” I turned to face him.
He turned his back to me. “Eva, you cannot…it is most improper…”
My shoulders fell a little. He was determined to not help me. “Nickolas, won’t you please help me?” I made me voice as small and helpless as I could.
His shoulders rose and fell in a great sigh. He walked quickly out the front door. Disappointment flooded me. Maybe I should just try again. He surprised me when he returned just as quickly as he had left. He was holding my clothes in one of his hands.
I smiled broadly. “There now,” I exclaimed, “this won’t be so hard.”
He shook his head without smiling. “This is incredibly inappropriate,” he muttered. “We will never speak of this again.” Nickolas dressed me quickly, muttering the entire time about the inappropriateness. I couldn’t stop myself from chuckling. “I’m glad you find this amusing,” he said harshly, making me laugh all the harder. His frequent sighs amused me further. Finally he turned me back to face him and I saw the lightness back in his expression.
The dress hung all the way to my bare feet. He disappeared briefly and returned with a comb. With apparent experience, he tied my hair back in a loose braid. “The dress looks nice,” I mused.
“Here are your shoes and stockings.” He pushed the items into my hands.
“How did you learn how to dress a woman?” I teased.
He shook his head, but I didn’t miss his smile. “You are too much, Eva, far too much.”
I laughed and took the shoes to the table so I could sit down in one of the chairs. I set to work putting the stockings on first. Nickolas stood facing me, but he kept quiet. It was obvio
us that he was in deep thought.
Our silence stretched on while I tried to figure out the buckle on the shoe. It was such a strange little thing. It didn’t make any sense to me. Every time I thought I had it buckled, it just came undone again.
“Eva,” Nickolas broke the silence.
“Yeah?” I was still trying to buckle the shoe.
“Did you have another dream last night?”
My fingers paused, had he heard me? “Did I wake you?”
“I was already awake.”
“Oh.” I nodded and looked back down to the shoe.
“So?” He made the word into two syllables.
“So what?” I pretended to not know what he was talking about.
He took the shoe buckle from my hands and quickly fastened it. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
Roughly translated: I had no choice but to tell him. “It was the same dream really, the one with the wolf.”
He sat back on the heels of his feet and templed his hands under his chin. I tried my best not to make eye contact. “Will you tell me about them?”
“The dreams?”
A breathless “Yeah.”
I was right to avoid eye contact with this perfect man, because the moment our eyes locked I was lost. I couldn’t look away. I probably would have promised him my first born if he had asked at that point. “Yeah, ok.”
He looked away with a small smile. No fair! “The first dream you had was when you first got here?”
“Mmm-hmm.” All he wanted to know about was the wolf, I told myself; don’t tell him any more than he is asking for. He just kept staring at me with a half-smile on his face so I continued before he asked. “I was in a forest. My angel was there. She told me not to forget why I was here.”
“And why are you here?”
“That’s the thing,” I shrugged, “I don’t know why I am here. I was being chased by something, through the trees.”
“The wolves?” I hesitated and he noticed. “What do you think was chasing you?”
“The wolves,” I muttered with a shrug.
“What about the dream last night?”
Had he seen my dream too? Maybe I talked in my sleep. “I saw the…the creature better last night.”
“You mean in your dream?”
“Yes, but it was more than a dream. It was a memory.”
“It was just your mind, trying to remember. But you can’t control a dream…it was just a bad dream.”
“I was trying to remember,” I agreed. “It wasn’t a wolf that was chasing me.” He looked confused, but so was I. Maybe we could piece it together. “The black shape…I only thought it was a wolf, but it wasn’t. It was a man, Nickolas.”
“I know it was traumatizing for you, getting attacked by a wolf but I think…”
“I wasn’t attacked by a wolf.” My angel had said so and I believed her.
He pressed his lips together, refusing to argue with me, but also refusing to agree. “It was a dream, Eva. But no matter what happened, you’re safe now.” He stroked my face with the back of his hand. My throat felt heavy and the room started to spin slightly, but I smiled through the haze.
Chapter Twelve
Nickolas stood up suddenly and crossed the room. “I’ll be leaving shortly,” he announced.
Leaving? My smile faded. “We’re going to the colony?” It had stopped raining last night sometime. Of course we would be leaving for the colony.
“No, not we,” he corrected, “I’ll be leaving.”
“What?”
“I have to go check the river to see if it’ll be safe for travel.”
I swallowed past the lump that had grown in my throat. He was angry with me. I had practically forced the poor man to dress me. Nickolas Gant didn’t owe me anything. And now he was going to leave me. I blinked rapidly. “I’m sorry that I…”
He looked at me oddly. “Eva, don’t be ridiculous,” he laughed. “Although the situation was…less than ideal,” he grinned and winked at me, “I hardly blame you. And you were of course right, it was best for me to help you rather than have you sit wrapped in a blanket for the day.”
“I shouldn’t have forced you to…”
“You did nothing of the kind.” He raised his hand to stop any more words from me. “Eva,” he came close to me and placed his hands on my shoulders, “I am going to check the river. I’ll be back soon. I should say within the hour.”
“Ok.” I wasn’t convinced.
“Now, you must promise not to think any more silly thoughts of my abandoning you.”
“Ok, “I sniffed back my tears. How easily he knew my feelings, it was as if he could hear my thoughts.
“You will stay close to the cabin?” I nodded. “There is a storm moving in, it might hit before I get back. If you absolutely must go outside, do so, but don’t venture far.”
Were the wolves close? Was I even safe here? “Will I…?”
“Although I am convinced of your safety — I wouldn’t be leaving if I thought otherwise — I still would feel better if I knew that you were not out roaming these forests alone.”
“I won’t go anywhere.” I have nowhere to go, I didn’t add out loud.
“Eva, when we…” but he stopped his words and changed direction. “Good, at least I won’t have to worry about you then.” He winked.
“I guess you’ll get a few hours off,” I smiled widely.
“I told you I’ll be back within an hour,” he reminded me. He pushed my nose with his finger and turned to the door. “Will you see me off?”
“I’ll be right there.” I stood for a moment after he’d left trying to catch my breath. What would I do if he left me? What if he never came back? I had to go out to see him off before I began hyperventilating. I would just have to deal with the rest later. I puffed out my cheeks and ran after him. Hopefully he hadn’t started walking yet.
I stopped short when I saw the large animal. It was beautiful and intimidating. It was all white with a long hairy tail and long hair along its neck. It picked up one of its skinny legs and stomped it on the ground impatiently.
“What is that?”
Nickolas looked behind him and around me. “What is what?”
“That.” I pointed to the obvious.
He looked at me oddly and looked at the creature, then turned back to look at me. “You’ve never seen a horse, Eva?”
“A horse?” Clearly he expected me to know what this creature was.
“A horse,” he echoed.
“Yeah,” I backpedaled, “of course I know what a horse is. I just didn’t recognize it with that thing you have on there.”
“It’s a saddle.” He looked at me curiously.
I shrugged. “What are you going to do with it?”
“With the saddle or the horse?” He was teasing now.
“The horse. What are you going to do with the horse?”
“I am going to ride it,” he said very slowly.
“Ride it?” My eyes grew wide.
“I’m going to ride down to check the river.”
“Will the rain hold off?” I glanced up at the dark clouds.
“I won’t be long.”
“Will you be safe?”
His smile softened. Ever so lightly he pinched my chin with his thumb and forefinger. “I’ll be safe,” he assured me, “and I’ll be back before you can even miss me.”
I looked away quickly so my eyes couldn’t betray me. “Ok,” I mumbled. The corners of my eyes pricked with tears so I kept my face averted.
He pulled my face back to look at him. He was smiling very gently. “Will you be ok here for a little while without me?”
“Promise you’ll come back?” My tears escaped the confines of my eyes. He groaned softly and gathered me to his chest.
“Of course I’ll be back,” he whispered into my hair. I sniffed and leaned back so I could see him. He wiped the tears from my face. “You’re so silly,” he said hoarsely.<
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With his being so close I couldn’t stop myself from reaching up to touch his face. It seemed like the most natural thing to do, but before my fingers could make contact he had both my hands in one of his. Disappointment clouded my features.
“I’ll be right back,” he said with a grin and a wink. He kissed my fingertips lightly and let my hands go.
In one fluid motion he put one foot in the dangling part of the saddle and swung his other leg over the top of the horse. The creature danced wildly for a moment before Nickolas clicked his tongue and pulled on two ropes coming from the horse’s neck.
“Eva,” he said, turning his attention back to me. I stood staring at him in open mouthed shock. Wasn’t he scared at all? What if he fell? “Eva!”
“Huh?” My head jerked in response to his voice. He was looking at me curiously again.
“I don’t know how long this storm will hold off.” He seemed apologetic about leaving me there alone.
The storm. Perplexed, I turned to take stock of the weather. The wind had picked up considerably. The black clouds hung over us threateningly. What a contrast to the beautiful morning, I frowned. The weather could be dangerous soon and here he was wasting time to comfort me.
“Alright,” I said quickly, “go if you must. Just hurry.” I took two steps back.
“You just stay close to the cabin. If it starts raining, go inside!”
I felt like I should salute to him, but I didn’t know if that would be appropriate. Something was different about me and Nickolas and until I figured out what it was I had to really be careful. “Don’t worry about me,” I said instead, “you worry about not falling off that horse.” He laughed and shook his head before the horse turned around and dashed out of sight.
I brought my hand up to cover my mouth. “Please come back to me,” I whispered desperately. He was too far away to hear me. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply.
The sky rumbled darkly. I hoped that the rain would hold off until Nickolas came back, if Nickolas came back. I was slightly surprised to realize how much I missed him already. Lightening flashed, making the darkened world suddenly bright.
Moments later, I felt the first drops of rain. It was cold and seemed to slice right through my skin. Surely Nickolas would just come back and wait out the rain. I watched the trees expectantly but he did not appear. More drops followed the first and I was forced to go back inside and watch from the tiny window.
