No, it would be too difficult. Besides, it might look as if Anna did not want to see her. And she did – partly – in a way… It looked as if Auntie would have to come after all. She turned the corner and ran along the footpath to The Marsh House.
The Lindsays greeted her with their usual warmth, full of their own domestic excitements. Everything was wonderful. The boat had been definitely ordered, Dad was coming down tonight, and this afternoon, as the tide would be low, they were all going cockling. Wasn’t it a wonderful day! The weather forecast prophesied another heatwave. Best of all, Gillie was coming next week, and she was going to stay two whole days and nights. Mrs Lindsay had finished the spare-room curtains this morning, just before the letter came. Wasn’t it lucky!
Anna, listening, felt her own small problems drifting away like the mist on the marsh.
“You’ll like Gillie,” said Jane.
“She painted the picture in the hall, you know,” said Scilla.
“Yes, she’s an artist,” said Matthew. “And she knows all about Little Overton. She’ll tell you about when the ships used to come right in to the staithe for loading, when her father was young.”
“She’s fairly old herself,” said Jane.
“But she’s a dear,” said Mrs Lindsay. “You must be here when she comes, Anna.” She turned to her with a smile. “What a terrible family we are for talking only about ourselves! And we haven’t seen you since at least yesterday evening. Tell us what’s new with you. Is that a letter sticking out of your pocket?”
“Yes, it’s from my auntie.” Anna hesitated. “I think she’s coming down for the day.”
“Oh, that will be nice! When is she coming?”
“On Thursday.”
“On Thursday? Oh dear—” Mrs Lindsay looked thoughtful. “What a pity, that’s the day our Gillie’s coming. I would have liked to meet your auntie so much—”
“But Gillie isn’t coming till after tea, Mummy,” said Jane. “She said about six.”
“So she did!” Mrs Lindsay turned to Anna again. “Do bring her round to see us. Do you think she would like to come to tea? It would have to be rather early, if Gillie’s arriving at six.”
“She’d have to leave early anyway,” Anna said doubtfully. “She’d have to catch the five-thirty bus to the station.”
Mrs Lindsay said, “Shall I write and ask her? Do you think she’d like to come?”
Anna considered, and thought she might.
For a moment she had found it impossible even to imagine Mrs Preston at The Marsh House, but the more she thought about it, the more she wanted her to come. She wanted her to see the Lindsays, and she wanted to see her with the Lindsays. If they liked her and she liked them, then – even if only for an hour – Anna’s two worlds would be joined into one.
At the back of her mind, too, was a thought she had not yet allowed herself to think about seriously. Her holiday could not last for ever. It was already August, and although the subject had never actually been mentioned, she knew she would have to go home again before next term began. If, when she was back at home, she could talk about the Lindsays, and Auntie knew the people she was talking about, it would make all the difference. Yes, she must come. It was all arranged. Mrs Lindsay would write to Mrs Preston separately. And Anna wrote her card, adding casually, as if it were an afterthought, by the way, we’ve been asked out to tea. She’s writing to you.
Chapter Thirty-One
MRS PRESTON GOES OUT TO TEA
BY THE TIME Thursday came, Anna was not so sure she had done right to accept the invitation. Suppose Mrs Preston was in one of her worrying moods, or wore the brown hat that Anna always hated? She watched anxiously for the bus and was relieved beyond measure when Mrs Preston stepped down wearing a new straw hat that she had not seen before.
“Oh, Auntie, what a pretty hat!”
“Do you like it? Will it do?” Mrs Preston was obviously relieved too. “You must tell me, dear – in a minute, when I’ve said hello to the others – who are these people? I had such a nice letter. – Ah, there you are, Susan! And Sam! How are you both?”
Mrs Preston was told all about the Lindsays over lunch. Anna was surprised to learn that Mrs Pegg seemed to know as much, or even more about them than she knew herself. Apparently Miss Manders at the Post Office knew all about them, too. They were extremely nice people. London people, but not the kind who made themselves unpopular in the village. He was a scholar, a very clever man. The quiet type. She was charming. The children were all charming too. If they hadn’t been, Mrs Pegg would not, of course, have let Anna be always round there – that went without saying. As it was, it had been nice for the little lass to have company. And wasn’t she looking all the better for it?
Mrs Preston agreed that she certainly was, and said she was looking forward to meeting Mrs Lindsay and thanking her for her kindness to Anna.
Nevertheless, as the time drew near she grew increasingly nervous.
“I had things I wanted to talk to you about,” she said to Anna as they went upstairs to get ready. “But I think perhaps this isn’t quite the moment. Perhaps if we can get away early—?”
“Yes,” Anna said uneasily.
“We might go for a little walk, perhaps – just you and I?”
“Yes.”
Mrs Preston looked at her reflection in the mirror, and pushed some loose strands of hair under her hat with trembling fingers. Then she turned and faced Anna with her head on one side. “Will I do, dear?”
Anna made a little move towards her. “Yes, of course. You’re fine.” She stopped awkwardly. If only she wouldn’t look so anxious all the time! She thought of Mrs Lindsay’s easy, friendly manner. “You’re fine. There’s no need to worry. And you needn’t say good afternoon or how do you do, or anything like that when we get there.” She tried to make her voice sound casual and off-hand. “I mean hello is quite good enough. That’s all Mrs Lindsay ever says.”
Mrs Preston looked quite alarmed. “But, dear, I always say how do you do! It would seem so strange, so rude…”
Anna frowned. Whatever she said was only going to increase Mrs Preston’s anxiety. Perhaps she had better not mention the bear garden, and that it would not be a polite afternoon tea, anyway. That might put her off still more. She touched her on the arm awkwardly. “It’ll be all right. Whatever you do.”
“Well – I do hope so…” Mrs Preston was more doubtful than ever but she smiled gratefully. “Hadn’t we better go now, dear? She did say half past three, didn’t she?”
“Yes, but that doesn’t matter. I mean they’re not a bit fussy about time. There isn’t any hurry. It doesn’t really matter what time we get there.” Anna moved towards the door with a desperate attempt to appear casual. “Still, I suppose we may as well—”
They set off.
Mrs Lindsay opened the door herself. She had changed her usual thick jersey and slacks for a jumper and skirt, and greeted them with a warm, welcoming smile.
“How do you do?” she said, holding out her hand to Mrs Preston. “I’m so very glad you were able to come. Do come in. Hello, Anna. What, you again!”
Anna grinned sheepishly, and Mrs Preston, with a startled apologetic glance at Anna, shook hands with Mrs Lindsay.
“I thought we’d have tea in here, it’s more comfortable,” said Mrs Lindsay, leading the way towards the drawing-room. “Anna can go in the bear garden with the others if she’d rather, but it’ll be a treat for me to be more civilised for a change.”
There was a sudden clatter on the stairs, and two steel tubes of a vacuum cleaner came hurtling down, followed by Matthew, then Andrew, Jane and Priscilla. They drew up short with expressions of horror at seeing Mrs Preston.
“Here, what’s going on?” Mrs Lindsay brushed aside Matthew’s laboured explanation that it was the quickest way of bringing them down and that she had forgotten them, and said, “Come and say how do you do to Mrs Preston, all of you. Oh, Roly-poly, what have you been up to?” – as R
oly emerged from the drawing-room on all fours, his face streaked with jam. “Jane, be a darling and take him to the kitchen for a clean-up – no, perhaps I’d better.” She picked him up under one arm and turned to Mrs Preston. “I’m so sorry, I shan’t be a tick. No, don’t worry, it’s only jam.”
She disappeared into the kitchen. Anna collected the vacuum-cleaner tubes, and the Lindsay children shook hands with Mrs Preston.
“We’ve been rushing about tidying up all day,” said Matthew, looking up at Mrs Preston with interest. “Not only for you,” he added thoughtfully, “but for someone else we’ve got coming as well.”
“No, it was for you,” Jane put in hastily with a reproving glance at Matthew.
“Yes, well partly, anyway,” said Matthew, “but I mean you’re not sleeping here, are you?” Mrs Preston looked bewildered. “Anyway I hope you think it looks better. By gum, we did have a rush round!”
“Don’t be silly,” said Andrew. “She didn’t see it before, so how could she see the difference now?”
“I think it looks very nice,” said Mrs Preston, her eyes flicking nervously round the hall. “A charming house, isn’t it, Anna?” Anna nodded in dumb misery.
“Anyway, you should have seen it this morning!” said Matthew. “And a few weeks ago it was worse. When my bed was over there—” he pointed to the corner of the hall – “Andrew forgot one night and fell over it in the dark with a bucket full of dabs. Phew! We couldn’t get rid of the pong for ages—”
“Did you have a pleasant journey?” Jane asked quickly.
Mrs Preston looked relieved. “Yes – oh, yes, thank you. It was very nice, very pleasant. I think it’s so kind of your mother to invite me.”
“Oh no, not at all!” said Jane.
“We wanted to see you,” said Scilla.
“Yes, we couldn’t imagine what you’d be like,” said Matthew. Andrew kicked him, and he looked round in surprise.
“And now you know,” said Mrs Preston, laughing nervously. She touched the back of her hat and gave Anna a rather desperate glance.
“Yes,” said Matthew. But Anna saw, to her relief, that he was still wearing his friendly grin.
Mrs Lindsay came hurrying back. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “Jane, you take Roly, will you? Now off you go, all of you. We’re going to have a quiet tea on our own. No need to look so disappointed, Matt. You’ve got the same as we have.”
“Meringues?” he whispered, grinning.
Mrs Lindsay nodded. “Yes, go along with you!”
Matthew ran, and the others followed. From the drawing-room Anna heard Mrs Preston say, “Five! How lucky you are!” and Mrs Lindsay reply, “You’re pretty lucky too. She’s a darling, we’re all—” then the drawing-room door closed.
She followed the others into the bear garden feeling quite dazed with surprise and relief.
Chapter Thirty-Two
A CONFESSION
“YOU HARDLY SAW the children did you?” said Anna, as she and Mrs Preston walked to the bus stop later.
“No, I didn’t, did I?” Mrs Preston seemed vague and a little upset.
Anna glanced at her sideways, waiting for her to make some remark about the Lindsays without having to be prompted, but after a moment’s silence she could bear the suspense no longer. “It was a pity you had to be in the drawing-room most of the time,” she said. “You might have liked it better with us. But she’s awfully nice.”
Mrs Preston looked round in surprise. “Who, Mrs Lindsay? Oh yes, dear, I thought she was a very nice woman. And she spoke so nicely about you. The children seemed nice too. Which was the one you said you particularly liked?”
“I told you—” Anna sighed. “Auntie, what is it? Did you hate it?”
“No, no, no! It’s not that.” Mrs Preston cleared her throat as if she were about to make a prepared speech, then she said, “I told you I wanted to talk to you, dear. I’m afraid I haven’t confided in you as much as I should. Miss Hannay says I should have told you before – in fact she even seemed to think you might know already – the fact is, the council send us a cheque every fortnight to help with your expenses. It is only a contribution, you understand, and it’s quite a normal procedure. But I want you to know it isn’t that Uncle and I wouldn’t pay for you ourselves – though I must admit it’s been a help – but I realise now I should have told you before.” She paused for breath, then added regretfully, “I always hoped you might never need know.”
“Why?” asked Anna.
“I suppose I was afraid you might think we didn’t love you enough. But even if we hadn’t had the cheque it wouldn’t have made any difference. You do believe that, don’t you?”
Anna felt a great load lift off her mind. “I wish you’d told me before,” she said.
“I know, I should have. And now Mrs Lindsay says I should have told you more about your background. Not that I know very much, but even what little I knew I tried to forget—” she shook her head in a helpless sort of way and nearly stumbled, then pulled herself together again. “But I did try. I tried to tell you about your people – your mother, and your grandmother, but you never would listen. You always turned away as if you weren’t interested.”
I know, thought Anna. I hated them – and wondered why. After all, it was not their fault if they had died. She realised suddenly that the old hate had disappeared. It was as if, at some time – some time when she had not even been thinking about it – she had forgiven them all.
“But perhaps I didn’t try as much as I should have,” Mrs Preston went on. “You see, I wanted so much to feel you were my own daughter. I always hoped we might come to be friends—”
“Oh, Auntie, let’s!” Anna slipped an arm through hers, finding for the first time that she was tall enough. “I know I’ve been ghastly and I expect I shall be again, but I do love you.”
Mrs Preston patted the hand that was now so near hers and said, a little shakily, “I love you too, dear. I always have ever since you were a little thing.” She drew herself up and wiped her eyes. “How tall you’ve grown! I’m beginning to feel quite a shrimp beside you!”
“Tell me what you were talking to Mrs Lindsay about all that time,” said Anna, altering her pace to keep in step.
Mrs Preston smiled. “Quite a number of things. In fact my head’s in a whirl. One thing I think may please you very much. She asked me whether I would let you stay on down here with them, as their guest, until they go back to London. Would you like that?”
“Oh, I should love it! Oh, Auntie—!” Anna almost hugged her. She was feeling extraordinarily happy.
They had arrived at the bus stop. Mrs Preston looked at her watch. “There was something else—” she said, glancing anxiously down the road to see if the bus was coming.
“Is it about my background?” said Anna suddenly.
“Yes. Yes, it is, dear. Though I’m afraid there isn’t much I can tell you—” She broke off as the bus appeared round the corner. “There isn’t time now,” she said hurriedly. “Ask Mrs Lindsay. She’ll tell you later. We had a long talk.” She kissed Anna and looked at her with sudden pride. “She said such nice things about you.”
“Did she – what?”
“Oh, that you were so honest and straightforward, and always so helpful. I felt quite proud.” The bus drew up alongside. “Goodbye, dear. I wish it had been longer. I’ll write.”
She climbed up on to the step. Then, as the driver was still talking to a man inside, she beckoned to Anna to come nearer. “Uncle’s been busy in your room,” she murmured, “making a little surprise! I oughtn’t to tell you really, but he’s been papering and painting, and we’ve got a few things for it. It looks ever so pretty!” She nodded and smiled, with her finger to her lips, and the bus moved off.
Anna waved until it was out of sight, then turned thoughtfully away. Scilla was waiting at the corner of the road. She saw Anna coming and rushed to meet her.
“Did she tell you that you’re coming to stay with
us? Isn’t it super? Mummy says you can come as soon as Gillie goes. Are you glad?”
“Yes, terribly glad!”
“Wasn’t it a wonderful idea of Mummy’s! Are you coming back now?”
Anna hesitated. “Is your mother very busy?”
Scilla laughed. “You should see her! You should see all of us. Mummy’s cooking and rushing around, Jane’s putting flowers and things in Gillie’s room, Matthew’s washing up, and Andy’s trying to bath Roly-poly! I shall have to go back and help in a minute, but I had to come and find out if she’d told you. Mummy says she’s awfully glad your auntie came, and she thinks she’s a very nice woman – just in case you were wondering. Are you coming back? Mummy said if not, I was to ask you to come later, about half past seven.”
Anna nodded. “I’ll come later. I’ve got something I must do first.”
They parted at the corner of the road and she walked slowly back to the cottage, thinking about the thing she had to do. She must write to Mrs Preston, straight away before she changed her mind.
It was only a short letter. Dear Auntie, I couldn’t tell you just now because the bus was coming but you said Mrs L said I was honest. Well, I’m not. I took some money out of your purse last term. It was mostly pennies but once there was a shilling. I put the shilling back but not all the pennies. I will pay you back when I come home, and I’m sorry. With tons of love.
She underlined the “tons”, signed her name, and stuck down the envelope with a sigh of relief. Then she went out to post it.
It was three hours later, but Anna had still not gone back to The Marsh House.
She was away out on the dyke, watching the wild geese flying across the sunset over the marsh, and hearing the strange honk-honking noise they made as they passed overhead. She turned and saw the first blue of twilight coming down over the distant village, and started back towards it.
When Marnie Was There Page 15
