by Mia Knight
He strode away, and her heart sank. She wasn’t sure what she and Marcus were, but he was a balm to her shattered nerves. He cared for her the night Lyla was in Hell, and he sated her demons last night. God knows what she would have gotten into if he hadn’t stepped forward. Marcus was her gateway to euphoria and relief, and she felt a sharp pang of loss and panic as he disappeared into the crowd.
“Carmen?”
She looked at Kody and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. You’re a great guy. You’re going to make some woman so happy.”
“And she’s not you,” he said slowly.
Bingo. “No.” She held out a hand. “Friends?”
He didn’t take her hand immediately and each passing second felt like an eternity. When she was about to retract her hand and what dignity she had left, he took it.
“If you ever need someone to talk to, you have my number,” he said and slipped off the stool. He chucked her under the chin. “Take care of yourself.”
Two good guys walked away from her in less than five minutes. That had to be some kind of record. She had a black belt in fucking up her life. Carmen tipped the bartender and headed through the casino to the valet and handed her ticket over. She watched the doors to the casino, expecting Marcus to appear, but he didn’t. She slipped into her car, filched her phone out of her purse, and hit Lyla’s number on speed dial. The call went to voicemail. She cursed and redialed as she tore out of the driveway of the casino but didn’t get far because of traffic. She was about to redial Lyla for the third time but stopped herself. Between Gavin being an insatiable beast, a four-month-old baby, and her mother being in the hospital, it was no surprise that Lyla couldn’t pick up her call.
She drummed her fingers restlessly and tried every single radio station, but nothing suited her mood. As soon as she reached the freeway, she slammed her foot on the gas. She cut through traffic like a madwoman, shifting gears, and dodging other cars like she was on the run. The rush didn’t alleviate the pressure on her chest.
When she finally stopped the car, she rested her chin on the steering wheel and stared through the windshield at the gates of the property she once owned with Vinny. She caught a glimpse of the ostentatious mansion she spent years designing. It had been her dream home with her dream man, and now she had neither. Gavin had sold the property when she and Lyla went on the road. She would never admit it, but she was grateful he’d done so. She wouldn’t have been able to continue living there without Vinny. Gavin put her belongings in storage where they’d been for almost three years, like her.
Seeing her mother with a new man had been an out-of-body experience, one she hadn’t been prepared for. She assumed her mother would always be around while she figured out what to do with her life, only to discover that her mother had built a new life without her. She had truly been left behind.
She sat back and rested her hand on her aching heart. She’d lost the two most important men in her life so close together. Her father and Vinny had been her foundation. They loved her for who she was—the good, bad, and ugly—and she loved them back with the same fervor. Her father understood her nature and never tried to rein her in. He prepared her for life by drilling into her that she was capable of anything she put her mind to. The last time she saw her father was the day she left with Lyla to go on the road. Between Vinny and Manny’s murder and the attack on Lyla, she’d been a wreck.
“I know this seems impossible right now, baby, but you’re gonna pull through this. You’re strong, Carmen. Take care of Lyla. Get her out of here, give yourselves both time.” He buried his face in her hair. “When you’re ready to come home, we’ll be here.”
She blinked back tears as the echo of his words slipped through her mind. That was the last time she saw him alive. Fuck. She missed him. He’d want her to support her mother. That was what family did for one another. She was genuinely happy for her mother. No one should be alone, and her mother was a sweet woman who loved taking care of people. Soon, her mom would have more people to fuss over—a new husband and stepkids who were going to love her. Who wouldn’t? Her mother was the best.
Time passed. She didn’t give a fuck. The fact that her phone remained silent reinforced that she needed to do something with her life. No one would take her by the hand. No one would fawn over her. Soon, her mother would marry, and she would be living alone in her childhood home …
Carmen picked up her phone and skimmed through her contacts before she found the right number. The phone rang once, and then a feminine voice came on the line.
“Carmen Pyre. Oh, my God.”
“Hey, Charisse.”
“Are you okay? I sent flowers when I heard about Vinny.”
She nodded even though Charisse couldn’t see. “Yes. I got them. Thank you.”
“Are you in town? What’s going on? How are you?”
“I’m back, and I need you.”
“You’re looking for a place?” Charisse’s excitement leaked through the phone. “That’s great! Do you have an idea of what kind of mansion you want?”
“No, but I’ll know it when I see it. Can you help me?”
“Of course. When?”
“Tomorrow if you can manage it.”
“You bet!”
Carmen made small talk with Charisse before they hung up. She might not be ready to move on, but she had no choice. She had to start creating a life for herself. Her dad didn’t raise her to wallow in self-pity or give up. He expected better from her. It was time to get her shit in order and get down to business. She made a few calls. One to the storage place to see just how many lockers she had, one to the RV park to check on her baby, and one to the bank to check on her accounts. She was fucking loaded—a millionaire many times over—sitting in a car, staring through the gates at her old life. She would see about getting a new place that suited her, and maybe it was time for a new ride as well.
Carmen tossed her phone and revved her car. Time to start living.
10
Carmen reveled in the growl of her new Aston Martin Vanquish S Volante as she put the beauty through its paces. The smell of new car and leather permeated the air as she sped through the city. She couldn’t resist stroking the luxurious red leather interior and gleaming panels. Getting a new car definitely improved her mood. She loved her gold Ferrari, but when she pulled up to the lot and saw this beast, she knew she would be driving it off the lot within the hour. As the saying goes, money talked, and she didn’t mind dropping buckets of it to get her way.
She pulled into the parking lot of a gentlemen’s club called the Red Diamond. The parking lot was full of flashy cars and limos that provided shuttle service to and from The Strip. She found a spot in the back lot and stepped out of the Aston. She took two steps back to admire it. The exterior was so shiny; it looked like polished chrome. The Aston was sleek, powerful, and sexy.
Carmen strutted to the back entrance and rapped a distinct pattern on the door. She glanced up at the camera and blew a kiss. The door opened to reveal a behemoth standing in the doorway with a craggy face, which showed no emotion.
“Hey, boss,” he said.
“Hey, Phil.” She went up on tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. “How’s life?”
“Haven’t gotten shot or stabbed in a year so I’d say life is good,” he rumbled.
“Slow year?”
“You wish.”
“Is Kiki here?”
“Yup. In her office.”
“Great.”
Carmen walked into a dressing room with well-lit vanities, a wall of hooker heels in every color, and props for the shows. Seeing this room filled her with memories of her stripping days, but it felt like a lifetime ago. The music from the club reverberated through the walls and made her heartbeat pick up speed. The beat beckoned her to indulge. She would, but she had business to see to first.
She stopped in front of a mirror and admired her gunmetal strappy heels. After she picked up the Aston Martin, she went to The Look, the bouti
que the woman in Incognito recommended. She dropped fifteen thousand on some pieces and became fast friends with the owner who waited on her hand and foot. Tonight’s ensemble was definitely inspired by her new ride.
Slowly, she undid the sash of her short black trench coat and revealed the silver shift dress beneath. Liquid silk brushed over her skin. It was a barely there dress that hugged every curve and left little to the imagination. The shift rode high on her thighs and made her feel as if she didn’t have anything on at all. She leaned toward the mirror to examine her porn star makeup job—the larger than life eyes, perfect lips, and flawless face. She shrugged off her trench coat and headed out of the dressing room.
The music intensified, and the urge to join the fun increased. Her palms tingled as she nodded to mingling security and called the elevator. The moment the doors closed, the music disappeared. She took a breath to clear her head and examined her outfit, which she was obsessed with. Sweet and sexy. She liked the contrast. In the past, she went for straight-up sex, but her taste was changing like so many other things. Even with the Aston, she went for a slightly subtler sexy than her Ferrari, and she was digging it.
The doors opened, and she stepped into a quiet hallway with a wall of tinted glass that looked out at the Red Diamond. A gold, glittering stage took up one end of the club and flowed into a long runway lined with stripper poles that divided the club in two. Six girls twirled dreamily to the music. A hazy ruby light highlighted smaller stages around the club. She appreciated the glint of gold throughout the club which included the bar, chairs, and trays of the servers moving through the crowd. The Red Diamond was filled to capacity. She walked down the hallway to Kiki’s office and nodded to the armed guard who moved aside as she approached. She gave a cursory knock before she entered.
The office looked as respectable and classy as any executive’s aside from a few eccentricities. Gold framed nudes hung on the black velvet walls, and the room was littered with life-size copper and silver sculptured men. At the far end of the soundproof office was an impressive walnut desk occupied by a formidable woman smoking a cigar. She looked up through a cloud of smoke. Her forbidding expression disappeared when she recognized Carmen. A genuine smile curved her hard mouth. Kiki rose and stood six-foot-three in six-inch stilettos.
“Give me a fucking hug, girlie,” Kiki said.
Carmen ran to her friend and was caught up in a bone-crushing hug. Kiki pulled back and examined her. “You’re looking good, chickie.”
“So do you.”
Even at sixty-three, Kiki was a sight to behold in a red tailored jumpsuit, diamond choker, slick ponytail, and flawless makeup job. Kiki went to the wet bar in the corner and poured Carmen a glass of whiskey.
“I haven’t seen you since Vinny’s funeral,” Kiki said.
“I’ve been keeping my cousin company.”
“The one who married Gavin Pyre?”
“Yes. They had a baby a couple of months back.”
Kiki handed her the glass and perched on the edge of the desk. “How are you doing?”
“Better.”
“You look it.” Kiki let out a stream of smoke before she said, “What the fuck is happening in the underworld?”
Carmen held her gaze. “I’m sure you already know.”
Kiki had connections, murky ones that Carmen wasn’t interested in digging up.
“Angel Roman is the new head honcho?”
“Yup.”
“What about New York?”
“There’s more than one Roman brother.”
Kiki grunted. “And Roque will be out soon. Fuck.”
Carmen frowned and opened her mouth but thought better of it. She was out of underworld business. The less she knew, the better. She took a healthy swallow of whiskey and enjoyed the burn. Her foot bounced, which betrayed her eagerness to join the madness just beyond these walls.
“Why’s Pyre stepping down?” Kiki asked.
“My cousin.”
Kiki eyed her intently. “Your cousin slayed in the Pit. They’re the perfect couple to rule the underworld. No one would dare fuck with them.”
So Lyla’s exploits were already on the streets. Carmen resisted the urge to beam with pride. “They have a daughter, and Lyla’s not interested in underworld politics.”
Kiki made a disgusted smacking sound with her lips. “Fucking love.”
Carmen toasted her. “Fucking love.” It was the strongest force on the planet. Nothing on earth could erase your memories of a loved one who left you behind. All she could do was carry on the best she could without him.
“Business would be easier without having to deal with a new crime lord.”
“Angel Roman has bigger things to deal with than us.”
“I hope you’re right. Vega never bothered with us during his reign.”
She tensed. “You knew it was him?”
Kiki frowned. “Of course, not. I would have told you if I knew. I fucking loved Vinny.”
She downed the rest of her drink. “Right.”
Vega playing mind games with them really fucked her up. She tried to shoot Marcus and was even questioning her business partner who she’d known almost a decade. She stepped on stage for the first time on her twenty-first birthday. Kiki taught her everything she knew about confidence, seduction, and men.
When Kiki hit a rough patch, Carmen used her stripper savings to bail her out and became a silent partner for the Red Diamond. The gentlemen’s club flourished and became the most popular in the city. Carmen found it ironic that people labeled her a gold digger when she was a millionaire in her own right. Vinny was the only one who knew about her connection to the club. When Gavin needed dirt, Vinny gave her the nudge, and she visited Kiki to get the goods on the high-end clientele who frequented the club. It had been mutually beneficial for all of them.
“Even those who reported directly to Vega didn’t know his identity. His name’s everywhere since Pyre tortured him in the Pit. Apparently, Pyre’s whole crew was quite spectacular.”
Her curiosity was piqued, but she didn’t rise to the bait. She didn’t need to know. If she knew how close to death Lyla had been, it would bring up all the shit she was trying to leave in the past. She came out tonight to let loose and reconnect with Kiki.
“Gavin endorses Angel. That’s all that matters.”
Kiki inclined her head. “Right. I’m sure Pyre will tell him we provided the dirt to blackmail his competitors. That could come in handy for Roman.”
“We’ll worry about it if it happens.” She set the empty glass on the desk. “Now, what do you have for me?”
Kiki went behind the desk and became all business. Before Carmen became a silent partner, the Red Diamond was a ghetto strip joint. Once she started dating Vinny, she developed the VIP side of the business and turned it into a high-end gentlemen’s club. She and Kiki became wealthy bitches. Over the years, they nurtured their relationships with the casinos and their clientele. Kiki had the club running like a well-oiled machine, and business was booming.
“You look better than ever,” Kiki said as they left the office and caught the elevator to the second floor.
“Thanks,” she said and shifted restlessly as the elevator slowly traveled down.
“That dress is going to cause a riot.”
Carmen beamed. “That’s what I’m hoping for.”
The elevator doors opened. The level of noise would have knocked a lesser person backward, but Carmen stepped forward eagerly. Two guards stepped aside to let them pass. The second floor had shadowed alcoves for semi-private shows or parties that overlooked the main floor, which catered to the masses.
“We have two bachelor parties tonight. Eight of the ten VIP rooms are occupied, and the limo drivers are bringing guys in groups of ten or more,” Kiki shouted as they walked down the gold staircase.
On stage, four girls danced with fans, boas, and thongs. The Red Diamond kept up a steady stream of entertainment from old Hollywood numbers to twerki
ng and everything in between. The later the hour, the more risqué the show became. What happened on stage satisfied the public and critics while the real shit went on behind closed doors.
The main floor had clusters of chairs surrounding solo platforms, which put the girls within touching distance. Bouncers were everywhere. Carmen and Kiki weaved between hyped men and servers wearing skirts and bikini tops. It was Carmen’s type of bedlam. She inhaled cigar smoke with relish and slapped the ass of a passing stripper she hadn’t seen in ages and received a boob squeeze in return. Several men reached for her as she passed. One hand skated over her belly before Kiki took her hand. Her imposing presence made the men think twice about waylaying her.
They found a seat at the bar. Carmen blew a kiss to the bartender and surveyed the club while Kiki talked. It was hard to concentrate when her surroundings called to the wildness inside her. Her need to push the limits led her to the stage. Being a dancer brought out her love of role playing, and when she danced, she felt alive and free. People thought strippers were at a man’s mercy, yet in her experience, it was the other way around. She never felt more in control than when she worked the stage. Money rained down, and anything was possible.
Vinny replaced the stage, booze, and anything else that she indulged in to sate her inner demons. He became her everything, and now, he was gone, and the taste for something dark and uncivilized made her insides salivate. Her body ached from yesterday’s exploits, but she was hungry for more. Walking through her old hunting grounds was like parading a recovering alcoholic in front of a bar.
The music shifted from old Hollywood to hard rock, and the stage lights began to flash. Girls wearing lingerie or mesh dresses strutted down the catwalk and began to climb the poles. Carmen accepted a shot from the bartender and downed it without looking to see what it was. She couldn’t take her eyes off the dancers writhing to the beat. Seeing the girls embrace the moment brought back memories of a simpler time when life was about fun and games and not death and loss.
