In the Midst of Innocence

by Deborah Hining

  November 4, 1931

  Dear Students and Parents,

  As you know, The Reverend Miller suffered a severe heart attack on September 10 and has been very ill since then. His medical expenses are a burden to him and Mrs. Miller, and although all of you have been more than generous in your provisions for their daily needs, I know you all also will want to help them meet those expenses.

  You are invited to attend a fund raising event for their benefit on Saturday, November 7, from 4 pm until 9 pm. Bring a vegetable dish to share. The Millers, Miss Halfacre and I will provide a barbequed side of pork. There will be games, contests, and plenty of prizes! Please come for an evening of fun and entertainment to help your pastor and friend. We appreciate all your help!

  Sincerely,

  Miss Emily Weston

  November 5, 1931. Mrs. Carlton and Darlene were at the house when we got home from school today, helping Mama cook supper and tending to Sapphire. Darlene is the sweetest girl, and she is good at fishing and climbing trees, and she is smart, too. She also is not ascared of anything. I dared her to jump off the roof of the springhouse, and she did. Of course, then I had to do it, too, and so did Beryl, and we had a good time taking turns jumping until Beryl turned her ankle and had to quit. After that, we moseyed on in to the house. Uncle Woodrow had split up a big load of kindling, enough to last a good, long time, and he told us girls to stack it up on the porch while he came inside to help Mrs. Carlton make a pie.

  We had a very good time. Uncle Woodrow was in fine spirits. He and Mama talked French to Mrs. Carlton and Darlene. He learned it at school, and then he learned to talk it when he was in France, during the Great War, the one that gave him the shell shock. They all got to jabbering away so that I could not understand a thing they said, so they started in teaching me, and Beryl, too.

  It will be fun to learn to speak French. That way, Darlene and I could have a secret language where we could talk about things and no one around here would know what we are saying, except for Mama and Uncle Woodrow, of course, and maybe Daddy. He also studied French in school.

  Mrs. Carlton was having the best time with Mama and us, cooking supper, laughing, and talking about what it is like down in New Orleans, when all of a sudden, she jumped up, saying, “I have to go. That’s Billy Ray’s car coming over the hill,” and pointed out the window. She grabbed up Darlene by the hand and just flew out the back door.

  It is a good thing Billy Ray’s car is noisy. He has to drive on the road right above our house on his way to the bridge, so it takes him a while to get home after he comes by. The road follows the creek a ways before the bridge, then doubles back. Mrs. Carlton and Darlene can get home in plenty of time before he ever rolls up into the yard.

  November 6, 1931. Today at school, we learned about Africa, which was very interesting because I think that is where Darlene’s people came from. I thought Africa was just one big country, but it is a lot of countries. Almost everyone who lives in any country in Africa has black skin, which makes them Negroes. I wonder if there are any other white Negroes like Darlene over there? I wonder what it would be like to live in a country where most people look different than I do?

  Darlene and I picked persimmons over by the old apple orchard and got enough to eat our fill and a bucket to bring home to make jelly. We went down to the creek and looked for crawdads. They call them crawfish down in Louisiana, and can you believe that they eat them? It was too cold to find any, even though Uncle Woodrow came by to help us look. He was in fine spirits, and he did not shake hardly any at all this afternoon. He seems to be about as happy as I have ever seen him.

  Mrs. Carlton is so very sweet to Mama. She slipped over here again today when Daddy was not around to tend to Sapphire and give her some fresh goat milk. Mama and Mrs. Carlton are getting to be good friends, even though Daddy tries to turn Mama against Mrs. Carlton. He says any woman who used to be with a Negro is trash, and he does not want his children growing up with Negroes and trash, even if the Negro is whiter than he is. I do not think Mrs. Carlton is trash. She is the nicest lady you ever met, and she is as educated as Mama is. Her father was a schoolteacher in New Orleans, and she went for nurses’ training before she met her first husband and dropped out. Darlene never met her daddy. He met with an unfortunate accident before she was born.

  Mama and Sapphire are both doing better, thanks to Mrs. Carlton.

  November 7, 1931. Sapphire’s diapers and my shoes came today! The shoes fit, and they look nice enough, but they are not near as pretty as my Mary Janes. Mama was proud of me that I had enough money to buy them. I told her I had saved up my muscadine money and that Pap-pa had paid me for helping him feed his geese. She knew I was disappointed that they are ugly compared to my Easter shoes, but she says I will be glad to have them this winter when it is cold and wet. I wish I had enough money to buy a second pair to wear to church, but even if I did, it would be hard to explain the extravagance. Of course, Beryl was very happy to get my Easter shoes. She called them my birthday present to her. Even though they are too big, she put them on and dragged them around the house. Mama says we can stuff newspaper down in them so she can wear them come Easter. Her birthday is in two weeks.

  The diapers are very nice, soft and white. I am glad I bought them because Mama is having to do a washing about every day to keep Sapphire clean and dry. It is hard to get things dry in this damp cold. I was thinking about giving them to Mama for Christmas, but I did not reckon she should have to wait that long, so I went ahead and gave them to her. She cried when she saw them. She pretended that she had gotten into some dust that made her eyes water, but I knew better. Poor Mama. Imagine crying over some diapers.

  This evening, we are going over to the schoolhouse to help out Preacher Miller. His hospital bills are big, and he needs us to help him pay them. It is a pity the poor man is going broke on top of being so sick! I am taking some of my whiskey money to give, and Mama is taking her butter money. Sardius and Jasper will give some of their calf money, and Daddy sold one of his pups, so he thinks he has money to burn, besides giving some to Preacher Miller. The Wallaces will not be ashamed at not being able to do their part.

  November 8, 1931. The big event Miss Weston put on to raise money for Preacher Miller turned out to be the best thing I have ever seen! I thought we would just be going to pay our respects, hear a sermon, and then slip some money in the basket, but there was a carnival, with games and all kinds of prizes that you would not believe! Everything cost a dime to play, which went to Preacher Miller’s hospital bill.

  First, Miss Weston had all us children line up, and one by one, we had to recite either the Lord’s Prayer or a Bible verse, which we all could, and then we got to pick out anything we wanted from big baskets, and these prizes were just wonderful! They had been donated to Preacher Miller by Miss Weston’s rich friends from up in Chicago, and you have never seen anything like them. I got a coat for Beryl that looks almost brand new, and that has saved me a lot of money. She thinks I got it for myself, but I will give it to her for her birthday coming up in two weeks. It is red, with big brass buttons, and is thick and warm, because it came from Chicago, where the winters are very cold.

  Ruby recited John 3:16, and Miss Weston tried to give her a beautiful doll, but she picked out a pretty hat for Mama instead. When Mama saw it, her face went red, so I am not sure if she liked it or not. It was very fancy, with blue feathers that stuck way up high. Miss Weston told her to recite another verse, and she gave her the doll, anyway. Beryl got a pretty dress. It is pink, with ruffles!

  Since she let Ruby go twice, I asked Miss Weston if I could play again so I could get a coat for Darlene, and she said yes. Right off the top of my head, I recited the whole Beatitudes, and Miss Weston was so impressed she picked out coats for both Darlene and her mother. I am excited about that, but I asked her to keep them for me because if Beryl sees me taking them home, she might feel bad that I would get coats for other people and not her. Or, she might figure out
that the first one was for her. I have to be cagey about presents.

  They had a contest for the big boys and grownups, too. Anybody who could split a wheelbarrow full of wood for the church stove in under 10 minutes got a prize. Everybody laughed when they heard the rules. It only takes about 5 minutes to split a wheelbarrow full of wood. Even I could do that. Jasper got himself a beautiful pair of fancy, black patent leather shoes. Sardius got a suit of clothes that need just a tiny bit of mending, and Daddy won a complete set of leather bound Encyclopedias that do not hardly look like they have ever been used. He says now we will know about everything there is to be known.

  The ladies’ prizes were out of this world! Miss Weston held a contest where she would give clues about a Bible story, and the first lady who shouted out the story she was hinting about got to pick out whatever they wanted. The nice thing about it was that there were so many prizes that everybody got at least one, and there were some left over. Mrs. Bittertree got a set of bangle bracelets, and you will not believe it, but Mama got the very best prize of all!!! A FUR COAT!!!

  It is funny how it worked out. She did not mean to get the coat. She was pointing to a pocketbook, but Miss Weston did not hear her and thought she was pointing to the coat, which was under a big blanket right beside the pocketbook, and she dug it out and handed it over. Mama tried to tell her better, but by then Miss Weston had already started in on another set of clues. Mama sat down right on the floor and cried, and I did, too. My mama has a fur coat! She will be so nice and warm this winter. She says she will feel silly wearing it, but you should have seen her running her hands over it and holding it up to her face. She is downstairs right now picking out the initials that were embroidered in the lining, and she will put her own initials in it so that it will look like it has always been hers.

  Everybody was jumping up and down and laughing and crying all at once. Just think! Our dimes went such a long way, and between us and the nice people from Chicago, we raised nearly $25 for Preacher Miller.

  What a day! Miss Weston is THE BEST teacher ever!

  Those people in Chicago must be very, very rich to be giving away such fine things, but Miss Weston says they are very snooty there. They stop liking their things after they have used them for a year or two, and they are always looking for ways to get rid of them. I cannot imagine that.

  Cold, waning days, bitter nights.

  There is singing and rejoicing on my frosty banks,

  But it is not enough to rouse my silver children,

  Lying solemn and still upon my bedrock.

  Laughter rings from the bluffs above to the shallows below.

  There will be sweet dreams

  Underneath the bright stars and the still, cold Orb.

  The earth spins faster, into the darkness.

  November 8, 1931

  My Dear Jonathan,

  I only wish you could have been here last evening to see what your kindness and generosity, and the kindness of the Ladies’ Guild and the Brothers of Christ’s Words have accomplished. You have never seen such gladness as the good people of the Cheola community came together, bringing their hard-earned dimes and dollars to give to the Reverend Miller, and being granted such goods as they have never seen before. There were tears, laughter, and shouts.

  Jonathan, you have been such a dear to coordinate all this, and I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am, how grateful Mr. and Mrs. Miller are, and even how grateful the people here are, even though they are not fully aware of the lengths to which you have gone to better their circumstances. Thank you a million times!

  Your eternal friend,

  Emily

  November 9, 1931

  My School Journal, grade 7, Miss Weston’s class

  By Pearl Wallace

  This has been the best week I have ever had! Miss Weston had a day of games at the schoolhouse yesterday to raise money for the preacher, and she gave away wonderful prizes that were donated by her friends from Chicago. We all won the best prizes you can imagine!

  I got coats for my sister and also for my best friend and her mother, who live across the creek from my house. They are from Louisiana where the winters are warm, and they do not have warm coats, so they will be very happy to get these. Miss Weston brought them to my pap-pa’s house, and he and Miss Janey Jo will find a way to get them to Darlene and her mother without anybody knowing where they came from. It will be so exciting.

  Both Darlene and her mother are very beautiful. Darlene has very white skin and very white hair, and she has beautiful blue eyes, but she has to wear dark glasses because light hurts her eyes. After school, I always run home as fast as I can make Beryl go in hopes that Darlene will be waiting for me so we can climb trees or go fishing in the river, or just play.

  November 9, 1931. I just found out the worst possible thing about Darlene. She is a CATHOLIC!!! We were out climbing the big sycamore down by the creek, while Sardius and Jasper went to the river to catch some trout for supper. While we were up in the tree, we got to talking about where you go when you die, and Darlene said, “If you have taken your last rites and received absolution from a priest, you will go to heaven. If you do not, you will go to hell.” I nearly fell out of that tree! I had no idea that Darlene was a papist. As nicely as I could I told her that everybody knows that Catholics are idolaters because they worship statues and the Virgin Mary, not God, and she said I was crazy and that I would surely go to hell if I did not go to confession, and then I told her you cannot be saved by talking to a priest. Beryl tried to back me up, but she got confused about the whole thing and ended up just hollering, “You’re ignorant!” to Darlene, which made things worse, and I told her to shut up. We all got so mad at each other that we ran back to the house and told our mamas on each other.

  Mrs. Carlton and my mama looked at each other, and then Mrs. Carlton just stood up and said, “Let’s go on home, cherie. It’s getting late and we need to get supper on the table.”

  Darlene started crying, “But Mama! Pearl will go to hell if she doesn’t confess.” That made me mad all over again, and I said, “No I won’t! You will go to hell if you aren’t saved by the Blood of Jesus.” Mama did not say a word to help me out, but just put her arms around me and said, “We’ll talk about it later, sweetheart.” And then Mrs. Carlton and Darlene left. Beryl and I cried for a long time over their souls, and Mama did not say much to help us figure out a way to make them see sense. All she said was, “Honey, we’ll pray for them. It will work out fine.”

  I bet the reason Darlene does not go to school is because she is a heathen papist. She has been brainwashed by the pope to believe that the Catholics are right. Mam-ma told me all about how those Catholics work. When her own mama and daddy were living in Ulster, Ireland, they had to live among the wicked Catholics, who used to do abominable things like drink blood and eat flesh at their midnight Masses. Great-Mam-ma’s Daddy was an Orangeman who tried to make Ireland a Godly place, but those Catholics were too stubborn to let him help, and they persecuted them so much they finally ran them out of the country. That is why they came here, to get away from the Catholics, and also because of the potato famine, which was caused by their ungodly Catholic practices. I am so miserable about it I could just die. How could it be that my very best friend is a Catholic?

  November 10, 1931. I told Miss Weston about how Darlene is a heathen papist, and she listened, but she was not much help when I asked her how I could convince Darlene that she needs to get saved by the Blood of Jesus. Just like Mama, she said we should pray about it, but I do not think that will do it. Darlene is too far gone.

  I was so woeful about it that Jasper offered to take me squirrel hunting and let me shoot his rifle. Pap-pa bought him one for Christmas last year, which is a very good thing because Daddy has only one. When Jasper and Sardius went hunting, they had to trade off using it.

  Jasper let me carry the rifle and take every shot. I am not bragging when I say that I am a very good shot. I can hit a squirrel right
between the eyes from 50 feet, and I can hit one pretty square at 100. Jasper says I am a real deadeye. I got three squirrels for supper, which me feel very much better. Mama was happy about it, also. We had collards, pan bread, and squirrel stew, which was very tasty.

  After supper, Mama, Jasper, Beryl, and Sardius put on their new things for us to admire. Mama looked just beautiful in her fur coat and beautiful blue hat, and you should see how proud Sardius is of his new suit. I think he is even prouder of it than Beryl is of her new dress. Daddy had us call out what we wanted him to look up in his Encyclopedia, and he looked it up and read it to us. Then he pretended to read all kinds of crazy things, until we called him on it, like the Amazon River is full of crocodiles and housecats! We got so tickled our sides ached.

  I did not put on the coat I got for Beryl because she would see how much it is too small for me and might guess it is for her. I just said I was too hot to go parading around in a coat inside.

  Daddy says we got a sight more out of our money by giving it away than we ever would have if we had tried to buy these things. Mama says that is what happens when you do things in the name of the Lord. It is like fishes and loaves.

  November 11, 1931. I thought about going to see Darlene today, but Mama needed me to look after Ruby and she did not want me taking her across the creek. Besides, I bet Darlene is still mad at me. I am not mad at her. I am just grieving for her lost soul, and I am praying that God will give me the words to make her see reason.

  My favorite hen, Daisymay, has gone broody. It is late in the season, but I think she may be sad because she has nearly quit laying eggs and she wants what the other ladies have laid. Mama will not let her sit them, though, because we are not getting many eggs, it being so late, and besides, it will be very cold for the baby chickens if they hatch. I feel sorry for Daisymay. She is a good little hen. It is sad to see her trying so hard to find some eggs.

  I hope Darlene comes to see me tomorrow. Maybe I can talk some sense into her.