“I know. I know what my son fears most. Without him able to take care of things, I’d have to sell the ranch.” Karen looked weary. “But things can’t keep going the way they are. He hasn’t been happy for a long time. And this place...”
They watched him close up the chicken coop without saying more.
Conner joined them on the porch, warm gaze finding Lily. “You about ready to head on back?”
“Let me say good-night to Pearl and Mouse first.” And steal a few more minutes alone with him.
“We’ll make a rancher out of her yet, Conner.” His mother was getting to her feet and positioning her crutches, so she probably didn’t see Conner’s frown, although she probably knew she was pushing his buttons anyway.
Conner and Lily walked over to the barn paddock. Conner gave her space, although she’d have preferred he didn’t.
“Tell me about the first Hannah.” Lily did a slow turn as she walked, taking in the ranch, drinking in its history. “The one who settled here, built this barn and planted those trees.”
“Horatio Hannah came west seeking gold, but his wagon broke down in Falcon Creek.” Conner scoffed. “Not a very auspicious beginning.”
“But Horatio made the most of it. Why did he call it the Rocking H?”
“Horatio married a gal who was partial to rocking on the porch. The Rocking H is kind of a this is the life statement, which this ranch is anything but. It needs constant work to keep it going.”
They reached the corral.
She gave Pearl an ear rub. “Where did Parsnip go?”
“Who knows? That horse doesn’t like to be tied down.”
“Like his owner.”
Conner gently took Lily by the shoulders and got her to face him. He brushed her hair behind her ears. “Don’t bet on me. The Rocking H will never be as nice or prosperous as the Blackwell Ranch. The odds are stacked against me.”
“Who said I wanted nice things?” Lily stared into his eyes, feeling that spark between them, trying to hide the love she had for him. “And why would you say the odds are stacked against you? That’s what the doctors told Rudy after I hit my head.” She flexed her fingers. “I do okay.”
“You do more than okay,” he said gruffly, boots creaking as he shifted his feet. “When are you going home?”
She felt him draw away even though he hadn’t moved an inch. This was a man who’d always stand behind what he thought was right. And he thought she didn’t belong with him. “I haven’t decided when I’m leaving. And I haven’t learned anything about the Blackwells, either, other than they seem to accept me.” But Conner had accepted her first.
He rested his forearms on a railing close to her. “I’m sorry the place isn’t much to look at. I’ve pretty much decided to sell it to one of the Blackwells when Mom can’t live here by herself anymore.”
“Your mother is a long way off from that. And you should think twice about selling. There are probably tons of memories here and traditions to be passed on.”
He stared toward the training paddock.
Lily pointed to a swing beneath an oak tree. “Yours?”
“Guilty.” He was so stingy with words.
“And it looks like you had plenty of places to ride as a kid. That’s how you became a good horseman, right? You rode all the time. Just you and your trusty steed, sharing apple slices and reading each other’s mind.”
His mouth worked, like he was fighting a smile.
“When I was a kid, I was a tomboy.” She rubbed her hands on her jeans. “If things had been different... If I hadn’t hit my head... I might have been a better athlete. Instead of Rudy calling me reckless, he would have called me brave.”
Conner took her hand.
“I don’t know what happened to Thomas Blackwell. But I have to wonder how things would have been different if I’d have grown up visiting Big E at the Blackwell Ranch. I watched some kids playing with goats this afternoon. And they weren’t doing yoga.” She shook her head. “If Rudy had seen them, he might have told those kids that goats are too dangerous.”
“I can introduce you to the goats tomorrow. We can test out that theory if Rudy comes by.” As soon as he spoke, it looked like he wanted to take the words back.
Lily brought his hand to her lips, planting a light kiss on those bruised knuckles. “I’ll take you up on that offer if you give me another horse-training lesson.”
His brows went up and he squeezed her fingers. “Lily, I—”
“You said you didn’t promise Big E.” She yanked her hand free. “Tell me you aren’t becoming Danny 2.0. Tell me they haven’t assigned you to be my keeper.”
“The camp counselor is not going to become a horse trainer.” That was no answer.
Her stomach flip-flopped. “You don’t know who I could be,” Lily said softly when inside she wanted to shout. She’d been so sure he wouldn’t treat her like everyone else, certain enough to let feelings of love bloom in her chest. She hung her head. “I don’t even know who I could be.”
Conner sighed. The sun was going down and making the fringes of brown hair beneath his hat tinge a reddish hue. “I’m not Danny 2.0. I wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t promise anything.”
“It’s okay. I can read between the lines.” Lily crossed her arms over her chest and acknowledged the truth. “You don’t feel worthy of a Blackwell bride and I don’t feel anyone will give me a chance to be more than a camp counselor.” Even that had been a hard-fought battle, but it had been a false front.
“It doesn’t matter to me what you do for a living,” he said gruffly.
“What a lie.” And he hadn’t refuted the part about her being a Blackwell. Lily’s arms knotted tighter across her chest, hiding her fists beneath her elbows. “You’d feel different about me if I was an experienced horsewoman, no matter what my last name was. You’d see me as an asset, not a stray cannonball that could potentially rip apart and sink the precious Rocking H.”
His eyes widened. His hands found hers. “No man would see you as a cannonball. You’re an anchor. Don’t talk like that. Not. Ever. Again. Or I...” Conner made that feral noise, the one he’d made before punching Danny last night. And then he swept her into his arms and kissed her.
The warm evening, the gentle breeze, the tender way he held her. Lily felt like she belonged. Here. In his arms. On this ranch. A sturdy fixture, like Horatio Hannah’s buckboard.
We’d get along really well if all we did was kiss.
Her hands came up to his cheeks as she drew back. “You’re like that perfect pair of jeans.”
“How so?” Conner didn’t roll his eyes, but he sounded like he wanted to.
“Jeans on the rack just hang there, flat with a subtle promise of greatness.”
He chuckled, his breath warm on her cheek. “Where are you going with this?”
“Jeans need the right someone to come along. They need the person who touches the weave, checks out the stitching and tries them on. And then, if by some miracle the fit is perfect, you have to buy them, no matter the cost.” The way she was convinced he was the man for her when they weren’t arguing about limits he and others wanted to place on her life. “Do you know what I mean?”
“I do.” There he went using that phrase again. “I know exactly what you’re thinking.”
I hope not.
She was thinking about stretching up on her toes for another kiss. She was thinking she didn’t want to go back to the Blackwell Ranch. She could sleep on his couch and escape the pressure Rudy and Danny liked to bring.
“Conner? Lily?”
Conner stepped away. “My mother probably just remembered she’s got kittens looking for a home in the barn.”
Lily thought she was rather like the kittens, in search of a new place to rest her head.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“LITTLE CHICK.”
Lily froze on the front walk of the guesthouse.
It was dark. The warmth of the day had faded, giving way to a cool breeze. Conner had just dropped her off, giving her a good-night kiss, fueling her feelings of love. Lights from the guesthouse glowed a warm welcome. Inside, her bed called. But a man’s voice rang out from the front porch, someone she’d have to get past first.
“Lily.” That was Rudy’s voice. He sounded weary.
She made her way slowly up the walk and front steps to the porch. “Mom used to call us her little chicks.” A shaft of grief passed through her. Mom would have wanted her to make peace with Rudy.
“Sit with me.” Rudy patted the wooden arm of a rocker next to the one he sat in.
Lily did as he asked. From the porch she could see the ranch buildings outlined against the starry sky. A horse nickered. A goat bleated. Someone laughed. The simple sounds of a simple life made her difficulties with Rudy seem complicated.
He cleared his throat. “Someone pointed out to me today that I don’t listen very well.”
She’d bet that someone was Big E. And although she agreed, Lily wasn’t going to be the second person that day to tell him so.
Rudy shifted in his chair, making it rock back and forth. “When I married your mother, I took a post on base and was told I had a knack for keeping people in line. I’ve been sitting out here waiting for you and wondering if that’s where I went wrong—applying what made me a success in the navy to my home life. In my defense, things were easier on your mother when you all behaved, so I tried my hardest to help you stay on the straight and narrow.”
“I’m twenty-nine.” Lily hesitated before expanding on that statement. “I’m past the time when you should think you have to help me stay on the straight and narrow.”
“Yes,” he allowed with a crisp nod of his head. “I’m beginning to see that. But beginning to see and letting go of the need to protect are two separate things. Especially when it comes to you.”
“Because of my accident?” At his nod, frustration built inside her. “Everyone faces adversity differently. If Peyton had the accident instead of me, she’d have given up having adventures. If Georgie did, she’d research ways to improve her dexterity.” Lily flexed her fingers.
“But it was you who wanted to fly,” he said solemnly. “And if anyone tells you stop, you always just go, as if you want to stare Death in the eyes and thumb your nose at him.”
Lily swallowed back her frustration, her disappointment. None of the Harrisons understood who she was today. “I admit, that’s the way I was when I was younger. I didn’t only want to taunt Death. I wanted to taunt you.”
He gasped.
“But in the past few years, I’ve matured. I’m careful. I don’t leave mayhem in my wake.” Present wake excepted. “And yet all anyone sees when they look at me is the younger Lily, the one who leaped before she looked and was in constant need of a bandage and an ice pack. Contrary to what you might think, I’m extremely cognizant of my mortality, so much so that I don’t seek out those adrenaline rushes anymore. Danny does.”
Rudy didn’t seem convinced.
Lily resisted the urge to tell him it was true. “You say you want to listen, but—”
“Listening is a new concept for me, Lily. I’ve spent nearly three decades worrying about you girls and keeping you on track. All of you little chicks.”
She hated that he used their mom’s nickname for them like that. She got to her feet and stomped over to the door. “Maybe you should take a real good look at Danny’s hobbies and behavior before you talk to me again.”
Maybe then he’d see who Lily really was and love her the way mama hen had loved her little chick.
* * *
“WHAT ARE YOU doing down here?” Katie sat on a bench near the mustang enclosure where Conner was working. She reached down to pet her dog, who’d rested his broad head on her knee. “Shouldn’t you be wrangling horses for Pepper’s wedding rehearsal?”
“That got rescheduled to this afternoon. I’ll be bringing over several mounts to see which pass Pepper’s beauty test for the bridesmaids.” Conner was choosing older horses with distinct coloring—a bay, a black Appaloosa, a brown paint.
Katie grimaced and arched her back, thrusting her baby bump forward. “That doesn’t answer the question of what you’re doing here. I could use some help on the books later. Have you changed your mind about training?”
“There are many factors that go into this decision, Katie.” And there it was. The first time he hadn’t outright refuted an invitation back into horse training made by a Blackwell.
“You sound like Chance and me. We haven’t decided about a name for the baby. But when this child is born, we’re going to have to decide. That much is certain.” Katie patted her dog’s head again. Pregnancy agreed with her. She glowed in a way that Conner hoped Lily would someday.
Not that I’ll ever see it.
But Lily deserved everything life had to offer, including babies, little tykes who’d charge about the world without fear the way she had.
“Honestly, Conner. At the rate you’re going, you could still be waffling about whether or not you’re going to go back to the one thing you were passionate about when my baby enrolls in college.”
“The one thing,” Conner murmured, ignoring her gibe. If he counted Lily, he was passionate about two things.
“You know what I mean.” Katie got to her feet in a rare moment of ungainliness and a sign that the mighty workaholic needed to slow down soon. “I’ll give you another week of waffling, Conner, but you and I both know by next week these horses will need a serious horse trainer.” She continued on her morning rounds.
Conner stepped into the enclosure with the horse that Danny had spooked yesterday. “Hey, boy. Pay no mind to the high-strung set of personalities around the ranch. Weddings and babies tend to make people nervous.”
The horse turned its head to look at him, a long look, not a quick glance.
“Good boy. The sooner we get you used to me, the sooner we can get you cleaned up.”
The mud caked on his coat couldn’t be comfortable in this heat. The horse brought his head around to stare at Conner once more.
“Maybe someone was nice to you,” Conner said as the horse shifted, turning his back on him more completely. “Maybe you passed by a farm or a ranch and got soft words and carrots.”
His big brown ears swiveled in Conner’s direction.
Something made a noise behind Conner.
The horse’s ears flattened.
Conner scrambled out the gate, narrowly missing being struck by a hoof. The entire herd began making noise and moving nervously, kicking out at fences and kicking up dirt. For a moment Conner was frozen, taken back to the moment when he’d been working with Parsnip and everything went wrong. This mustang had spooked, not because of anything he’d done, but because of something unexpected in the environment. It made him wonder...
“This is why we don’t want Lily hanging out with you.” Danny stood behind Conner, sneering. His black eye was green today and he could stare out of it.
“Do you know what I like about horses?” Conner’s hands fisted. “They’re a good judge of character.”
Danny scoffed, but he looked around, hopefully taking in the difference between the horses now and when he’d first walked in.
“They don’t like you. I don’t like you.” Conner got up into the other man’s face. “If I ever catch you down here again, I’m going to do more than take one swing at you.”
* * *
“WHERE DO YOU think you’re going, young lady?”
Lily stopped on her way to the mustang enclosures. She put a smile on her face for her Blackwell grandfather. “Conner said he’d introduce me to the ranch goats today.”
How easily the lie came to her lips. She’d slipped out o
f the guesthouse without seeing Rudy. She didn’t want to make sneaking around the Blackwell Ranch and avoiding everyone but Conner a habit.
“Walk with me.” Big E extended a hand toward her. “You can visit our goats later.”
Lily came to his side. He hooked his arm through hers. He smelled like cigars and peppermint. His jeans and gray button-down weren’t wrinkled today, but they were worn, as everything she’d seen him wear had been.
“It occurred to me last night—when you were missing from the dinner table and I had to talk Rudy down from a very militant ledge—that we don’t know much about each other.” He led her away from the ranch buildings and toward a dirt path.
“Oh.” Lily nodded, looking for Conner. She didn’t see him anywhere.
Wedding guests had been arriving nearly nonstop all day. She should have known that Pepper would invite a stadium-full of people. Ranch hands hurried about, but there was no sign of her cowboy.
“What I’d like to know is this.” Big E ambled along at a good clip. “What questions do you have of me?”
They headed toward a cluster of trees down by the river, away from prying eyes.
She could ask him about family history. Or about Prudence. But that wouldn’t reveal much about the man next to her. “Why have you been married so many times?”
“There’s a question I didn’t expect.” He stopped, surveying the landscape, which included her. “You don’t strike me as a person who changes her mind and changes it back.”
“I’m not asking because I’m considering marrying Danny. I’m asking because I want to understand what shaped the stranger who claims to be my grandfather and claims to care about me.”
“I see.” He chuckled. “Here’s the thing, honey. It took me about seventy-nine years to reach maturity.” He shrugged and flashed a smile that might have charmed Pru. “And maturity builds stable relationships, while immaturity...” He held out his hands and shrugged, letting her fill in the blanks.
She didn’t want to guess, but he left her no choice. “What you’re saying is I’m lucky to have met you now.”
Montana Welcome (The Blackwell Sisters) Page 20
