by Ava Benton
“What about your grandparents?”
I chuckled darkly. “They always knew something was wrong with me, even before I did. Maybe Mom told them what happened to her. I’ll never know. When she was gone, there went any chance of anybody accepting me. But then Jordan found me.”
I couldn’t help but smile when I remembered that day. ‘The best day of my life. He knew who I was and what I was and he understood because he was the same as me. And there were others, he’d said. He would keep us all together so we could be safe and feel free to be ourselves. And he would teach me how to control my shifting, too—God, I can’t tell you how many outfits I shredded up in my bedroom, all alone. At least I never did it in front of anybody else.”
“You’re lucky,” Daniela murmured.
I sat up, looking at the two of them. “You guys are all I have. I’ll fight til the day I die for us. If I’m going overboard with how I feel about Drew and his family showing up, that’s why. I’m sorry if I’m coming off a little crazy.”
“A little?” Layla winked, but she came to me and sat by my side. “We already knew you were crazy.”
“Yeah, and we’re still sitting here with you,” Daniela added with a grin.
Layla nudged me. “Don’t worry too much about Jordan’s family. They’ll leave once this is all over, and we’ll go back to the way things were.”
“I guess they’ll take Alice with them, too,” I murmured.
Daniela’s face fell. “Yeah. That sucks.”
“She was definitely a breath of fresh air,” Layla said, sounding sad.
“I know. Not like you guys aren’t great, but it was nice to feel like a normal human accepted us for once.” It was a bittersweet thought.
My ears pricked up at the sound of noise down at the camp. The girls heard it, too.
All three of us jumped to our feet.
“Trouble?” Layla asked.
I shook my head. “It doesn’t smell like trouble.”
“What is it?” Daniela asked.
The three of us followed the sound, and it grew louder the closer we got.
Laughter.
People were laughing.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Something’s going on, but I don’t think it’s anything to worry about,” I said, relaxing. “Maybe they’re building a fire. Roasting marshmallows or something.”
“Or weenies,” Daniela suggested. “I bet Layla would love to roast Lance’s weenie.”
“That just sounds gross,” Layla said.
“Yeah. It was supposed to sound sexy but came off wrong.”
We burst out laughing as we reached the camp, coming out of the woods near Alice’s cabin.
The noise centered there, where a large group of our people was gathered around.
I caught a glimpse of Roan and Slate in the center.
“Oh. They’re back.” I couldn’t help feeling sour.
“Try not to sound so enthused.” Layla linked her arm through mine.
“Who’s that with them?” Daniela asked, craning her neck.
I looked again, and caught sight of what she was talking about.
Two girls. Two human girls.
“Oh, effing fantastic,” I muttered. “They brought more humans with them. Their mates, I guess.”
“Isn’t one of them supposed to be pregnant?” Layla whispered.
“Yeah. I’m betting it’s the dark-haired girl. Yup, Roan keeps touching her. She’s his.” I realized the corner of my mouth was curled up in a sneer and told myself to chill.
I didn’t want anybody seeing how put-off I was by the presence of the new girls.
“Aww, they’re so cute. Look how sweet Roan is with her,” Daniela sighed.
“You’re just a hopeless romantic.”
“So what?” she asked, flipping her hair my way. “Don’t be a hater.”
I rolled my eyes, but didn’t respond. I was too busy boiling inside. Two more girls, one of them pregnant. Just what we needed. And here I thought there wasn’t any trouble.
Lance was standing there, at the edge of the group. I was surprised to see him smiling. Didn’t he understand what a hassle it would be to have them there? I left the girls for a minute and went to him.
“Hey,” he grinned.
“Yeah, hey.” I jerked my head in the direction of our new guests. “What gives?”
“I only found out about it a little while ago,” he said with a shrug.
“And you’re okay with it?”
“I don’t have much of a say, do I?” He shrugged again. “But it’s really not a big deal. So they’re here. If those two are happier with their women here, I’m not gonna argue. And Jordan’s happy.”
I looked again and noticed him standing close to the center of the circle, grinning like an idiot. I should’ve been happy for him—he had done so much for me, for all of us, and he had never asked for anything in return. He deserved a little happiness.
Why did I feel so bitter, then? Was I that kind of person? Somebody who begrudged others their happiness?
“You all right?” Lance asked.
“Sure. Never better.” I couldn’t stop watching Jordan.
Meanwhile, just behind him, Carter looked happier than usual.
He had his arm around Alice—I wondered if she was glad to finally have girls like her around.
One person was notably absent.
My eyes darted back and forth, scanning.
Where was Drew? Why wasn’t he part of the happy family reunion?
When I found him, he was only a shadow hanging around the edges of the circle.
His family was all inside, but he stood with the others. Why? Was he not as thrilled as the rest?
Part of me wished I could ask him, but I wouldn’t have asked him for a glass of water to put myself out if I was on fire just then.
Instead, I watched and listened and took it all in even though I wanted to go to my tent and sulk. Leaders didn’t act that way, and I was still a leader.
Even if I felt less and less necessary with every passing day.
6
Drew
It was good to see Dad looking happy. He had what was left of his family—his true family—around him and couldn’t stop smiling.
I could tell he tried to keep a straight face, but he failed miserably.
“What did Mary have to say?” I couldn’t help but ask.
Roan’s expression told me everything I needed to know.
“She didn’t think it was advisable. Let’s just put it that way.” Slate rolled his eyes.
“I’ll speak with her myself if I have to,” Dad grumbled as he stretched his legs out in front of the fire.
Alice and the girls were roasting hot dogs on long sticks, laughing and swapping stories. It was hard to believe Hope and Maggie had only just met Alice. The three of them seemed like old friends.
“Don’t worry about it. We have it under control,” Roan promised. “When I explained there was no way I was leaving my pregnant girlfriend behind after hearing your story…”
Dad nodded, his jaw tight. “She changed her tune.”
“Maybe not exactly changed, but softened up.”
“That works, too. So long as the song ends with all of you here.” He smiled from ear to ear, looking at all of us in turn. “I know I should be concerned about you all being in such close proximity to me, but I can’t right now. You don’t know how much I’ve wanted this—though I didn’t count on the ladies being here, too.” He grinned at the girls, who all sat with their backs to us.
They wanted to let us talk.
Which would’ve been great if my brother was speaking to me. Not that I felt like having anything to do with him, either.
We sat at opposite ends of our group, barely looking at each other.
If Dad noticed, he pretended not to. Probably a good idea.
I had the feeling Carter was just looking for an excuse to argue some more, even though Alice seemed p
erfectly fine after our impromptu meeting that morning.
We brought Roan and Slate up to speed on that—not much to report, really—and they brought back news from Mary. “She’ll probably want to talk to all of us soon, as a group,” Roan said, keeping his voice low. “Her people have been gathering information on possible locations for these contractors and their underground facilities.”
“What’s the holdup?” Carter asked.
“It’s tricky, because they never stay in one place for very long—sort of like you,” Roan said, glancing at Dad. “A year at most, then they move on to another location. I guess they don’t want any of their, uh, participants coming back.”
“Or leading others to them,” Slate added.
“I hate to burst their bubble, but that’s exactly what I intend to do,” Dad muttered through clenched teeth.
“At any rate, she thinks they should have some information within the next few days.” Slate glanced at the girls, then turned his attention to Dad. “What do you plan on doing?”
He shook his head. “Not tonight. That’s not what tonight is for. I want to get to know these young ladies.”
“As long as you’re not too charming,” Rick winked.
Soon, it was time for stories around the campfire.
I only half-listened as Dad started telling the girls about his brother and the trouble they got into when they were kids.
How they joined the military together because they had never done anything without each other. How they had decided together to participate in the study.
I tuned in to hear more.
His eyes darkened. “I’ll never forget waking up from the last set of experiments. They were pumping something into us—I still don’t know what—and we were brought out of twilight sleep when it was over. I didn’t feel any different. Neither did he. I figured we had screwed something up, you know? Like our bodies rejected the solution they gave us. They asked us so many questions, made us perform a series of basic tests we had performed time after time before then. Basic physical stuff—stress tests on the treadmill, that sort of thing. It was disappointing.”
“How long did it take before you…?” Maggie trailed off.
“Shifted?” Dad asked.
“I’m sorry if it’s too personal a question,” she murmured.
“Of course, it isn’t. It’s a completely normal question. It took around ten, twelve hours. They were keeping us overnight for observation, and thank God for that. I can’t imagine how horrific it would’ve been to shift in public that first time.”
“What was it like?” Carter asked.
“Terrifying. Painful. Completely without warning.” He looked at Hope. “Can you imagine suddenly changing into a dire wolf out of nowhere? Or anything else, for that matter?”
“I can’t,” she whispered. “It must’ve been awful.”
“That’s another word for it, yes. At least we were together, in the same room. I looked at my brother and saw what was happening to me. Like looking in a mirror. A waking nightmare—the worst nightmare I’d ever had. And even so, even when I fully shifted and my human mind sort of… receded… I understood. That was what they did to us. That was the plan all along. They had turned us into monsters.”
“My God.” Alice was shaking.
Carter rubbed her arms.
“But we’re not monsters,” Slate said. “Isn’t that what you and Dad always told us?”
“Sure. And we’re not. But then? In the moment? What else was I supposed to think? It was like watching a horror movie.” He looked around at all of us.
I was fairly sure we were all holding our breath.
He continued, “They wouldn’t give us any answers. We didn’t know how long it would last, how to control it, anything. I don’t think they knew, either. They took care of us for a few days, probably to make sure we didn’t run around killing people and bringing attention to what they’d done to us.”
I noticed the way he flexed his hands and wondered if he knew he was doing it.
Open and closed, open and closed.
Was he remembering the day his claws had first extended? Or wishing he could use his fists on somebody?
He took a deep breath, then chuckled. “I thought we were supposed to be telling good stories here. Nice stories. Stories that’ll embarrass the hell out of my sons and nephews.”
We laughed softly, but it was more for his sake than anything else. From the looks on the faces of the people around me, nobody was in much of a mood to laugh.
Dad looked at Hope. “How are you feeling?”
“Very good,” she smiled. “Really. I feel great. My obstetrician says things are going perfectly well.”
“That’s great.” He smiled at Roan. “You two are lucky. We didn’t know how the pregnancies would go. There was no proof that it would go well, you know? I envy you—you can be happy and look forward to your delivery.”
“Do you think the baby will be like you?” She looked at Roan, then at Dad. I suddenly felt uncomfortable.
Dad shrugged it off. “Who can say? My sons are, my nephews are, because half of their genes are mine. But only a quarter of the baby’s genes should contain whatever makes us who we are. Or perhaps not—I don’t know anything about the science.”
“It wouldn’t be all that bad, would it?” Roan asked.
“Of course not!” Her eyes flew open wide. “Oh, God, I didn’t mean anything by that. I’m so stupid. I should’ve thought before I asked.”
“No offense taken,” Dad smiled.
After that, we spent the rest of the night talking about old times. How we grew up, the stunts we pulled. The girls laughed themselves hoarse.
Meanwhile, all around us, the members of Dad’s group wandered back and forth. They also had a fire and were hanging out around it, but I sensed a vague discomfort on their end.
They kept looking at us as they walked past, or from their spots by their fire, and I sensed confusion.
Jealousy, maybe. I made a mental note to talk to Dad about it.
And I remembered what Nia had said, or what she had tried to say. She resented the way we showed up and took authority positions. Did others resent us? The worst thing Dad’s group could do would be to splinter off into mini factions based on how they felt about me and my family.
My eyes moved back and forth around the other group, searching for Nia. Should I apologize for that scene down at the lake? I had wanted to at the time, hadn’t I? I was a jerk. There was no excuse for what I said.
But I could try to make it right, or at least to let her know that I didn’t hold her responsible for the Alice situation. I had only wanted to hurt her pride.
My eyes fell on Carter, who glowered at me.
My heart sank.
Still? We had butted heads more times than I could count, but he rarely ever held a grudge for so long.
Then again, he had never been in love before. Everything was different. There were higher stakes involved. And his damned pride was still as fragile as ever.
I frowned.
He looked away.
“It’s getting late, and I would like to get a little hunting in before calling it a night.” Dad stood and stretched. “This was good. I’m glad you girls are here.”
Maggie smiled shyly. “Thank you for letting us join you. I know we don’t make it any easier on you.”
He waved one of his large, rough hands. “Don’t even worry about that. The two of you couldn’t make life difficult if you tried. I can tell.”
“That’s what you think,” Slate said.
Maggie elbowed him in the ribs.
He and Roan led the girls to their cabins while Carter slid an arm around Alice’s waist and steered her in the direction of hers.
I felt acutely alone. The odd man out.
Dad saw. “What about you, son?”
“What about me?” I forced lightheartedness that wasn’t there.
He saw that, too. “When do you plan on settling d
own?”
I chuckled. “Is there ever such thing as a plan, really? I know none of them planned to meet their mates.”
“You know what I mean.” He clapped me on the shoulder and stared off into the fire. “I appreciate how seriously you take what you do. I know it means a lot to you. You’ve always been somebody I could rely on, because I know you take pride in doing things right.”
“I do.”
He turned to me with a faint, sad smile. “But there’s more to life, son. I need you to remember that. I don’t want you to wake up one day and realize you missed an opportunity.”
His words touched me. The sort of thing fathers said to sons all the time, I guessed, but they were coming from my father who I had missed for such a long time.
“Sometimes I feel like this is all a dream,” I admitted. “Being with you again, I mean.”
His smile widened. “Me, too. But it isn’t. For better or worse, we’re together again.”
“For better,” I immediately replied.
He didn’t look convinced. “I only hope this doesn’t put you in more danger.”
“We’re already on the shit list,” I reminded him. “And we’re not kids anymore. We can handle it.”
“Of course, you can. Sometimes I still forget how much you’ve grown up.”
I snorted. “Some of us more than others.”
“Hey. Give your brother time.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “I can’t tell you how much the two of you remind me of what your uncle and I put each other through. But you’re gonna find out one day that none of it mattered. I hope you don’t find out the way I did, when it was too late to do anything about it.”
I wanted to tell him he was talking to the wrong son, that it was Carter holding a grudge against me, but chose to watch the fire instead.
7
Nia
It wasn’t our first bonfire, not by a long shot. We lit them all the time. It was our way of getting together at the end of the day and connecting, making sure everybody was okay. Keeping our ties strong.
It was the first bonfire Jordan had ever sat out, however.
