“Calon, listen, there was nothing you could do. Those women were sent there to take your sister out of harm’s way. Your mom signed papers. You couldn’t have stopped it. Calon, you can’t blame yourself.”
He stopped crying, and his body stilled. “I was standing on the sidewalk, and my mom’s arms were draped over my shoulders. Kate was doing that quiet sob thing, you know, after you cry for a long time and you’re left gasping between breaths. Her body wrenched with each gasp, and her little head turned away from us. When she looked back, she didn’t even look at my mom. Her eyes welled up with tears, and she called out, ‘Brother’. She was so exhausted, it was all she could to do raise her little arm and reach for me. The rainbow-colored, braided friendship bracelet I’d made with her that day when I was trying to distract her, hung loose on her chubby wrist. I tried to take a step toward her, but my mom’s grip tightened around my shoulders. My heart was racing, and the tears kept coming. All of a sudden it was like it sunk in and she knew neither my mom, nor I, was going to stop what was happening. She dropped her arm into her lap and spoke as clear as day, ‘I see you again, brother. I be good girl then.’ The caseworker shut the car door, and Kate’s little hand pressed up against the window. Tears covered her little red cheeks, and they drove away. I didn’t take my eyes off the car until it turned a corner and disappeared.
“It’s the reason I just can’t ever have kids. If another part of me is stolen away, for any reason, I wouldn’t live through it.”
I sank back down to the bed and tried to gather as much of Calon as I could into my arms. His rapid breathing slowed, and his eyes were closed. I thought about the extreme emotions that had just run through his heart and out of his body in just explaining what had happened to Kate that day. I cannot imagine actually experiencing that glimpse into Hell, especially not at six years old. He’d been holding this inside his heart for so many years. I rubbed his back. His arms tightened around me, and he nuzzled his face into the side of my neck. Within mere moments he fell asleep, heartbroken and spent.
His body jerked, and he raised his head up. His eyes were bloodshot, heavy, and his voice was hoarse. “Becks, I can’t do this again. I will always talk to you about anything, but could we put this part of my past to bed? I don’t want to go there again? Please.”
“Okay. Whatever you need, Calon. I love you.”
“Me too, Becks. Thank you.”
I held him close, and I knew at that moment, no matter what, I’d never ever let him go.
WE CHATTED WITH Gracie over FaceTime right before we went on stage Friday night. She was the main attraction at Mitchell’s for the very first time. She practically bubbled over with excitement, it was adorable. I really did miss her and hoped to someday share the stage with her again. She was incredibly talented.
Becki kicked ass planning gigs for us. We’d crushed our first four shows of what we were unofficially calling our solo tour since leaving the Turkeys in our dust. Becki had learned a lot in the little time she spent with Cyan, and we benefitted from it completely. We got to play some pretty cool venues, and it seemed as though our fan base was increasing exponentially, which was so damn cool. The last gig we played, we walked out the back door and right into a swarm of fans armed with Alternate Tragedy merchandise and Sharpies. We signed autographs on CDs and t-shirts for over an hour. Becki was so excited to see the fruits of her labor both in the reception we were getting at the places we played and in the amazing designs she created for the re-released Fallen CD cover and t-shirts. She manned the merchandise table during our shows, and we sold out of everything at every one. She wore many more hats than we’d originally planned, and we couldn’t pay her what she was actually worth yet, but she jumped in head first and hadn’t come up for air since. She was in her element and nothing could be sexier. But, I could tell she needed a break.
“I’m cool with doing three or four shows, then working a three day break into our schedule to regroup and rest up.” I hoped she would agree. I knew the guys could see she was exhausted, and there were certain days during the week that were slow days for live music. “Even if we did a couple nights back-to-back then a couple days off then back-to-back shows again, it would still give us time to rest and stay healthy.”
We’d adopted FRESH, a sushi place right around the corner from our hotel, as our conference room. Playing into the single digit hours had us sleeping late and eating unorthodox things for breakfast.
“Yeah, you’re right, but I need you guys to be a constant hype now. This is when you get your most devoted fans, in the beginning, because they want to take the ride with you… follow you all the way, ya know?” I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I winked at her, and she smiled just as she threw a piece of veggie sushi in her mouth.
“What if we played certain clubs on certain nights regularly, then people would know where to come see us. They wouldn’t have to look it up anywhere.” Spider was always thinking. He was basically our manager before Becki came on board. He was the one to get us gigs and make sure our shows were listed on all the UTK entertainment sites, but he never could have handled all that Becki was doing. I wasn’t sure how she did it. I watched her fumble with her veggie rolls.
“That’s a great idea, Spider. So, let’s brainstorm a list of venues that would be your top ten places to play. I’ll call around and see if any of them are looking to fill gaps in their schedules, and we’ll go from there. We could let that determine what nights you play and what nights you have off. Sound good?”
“You not hungry, Becks?” The girl could eat any of us under the table and still rock a smokin’ hot body. It was odd to see her plate look virtually untouched.
She shook her head. “Just can’t talk and eat, that’s all.” She winked at me and seductively placed a sushi roll in her mouth then licked her lips. I shook my head and smiled. She was all mine.
“Cal, did Malcolm leave you a message?” Spider scratched his head.
“Malcolm Phoenix? No, he didn’t. He called you?” I shook my head. The guy was an ass. He’d called me just before we left Knoxville to offer his management services, and I turned him down. It’s safe to say he doesn’t take rejection well.
“Yeah. I told him he could stop calling since we’d each said ‘no thanks’ to his management offer at least three times.”
“I heard that guy’s slimy.” Becki turned up her nose. “But, hey, if you wanna give him a try—”
“No!” We all yelled at once.
“Well, good. That’s the unanimity I like to feel as your manager. You guys rock.” Becki bowed as best she could from her seated position.
“Anyone wanna hit the gym after lunch–breakfast–whatever this is?” I hadn’t worked out since we got to LA, and, with all the last minute preparations to get out here, I couldn’t remember when I’d last touched weights.
“I could use a run. I’ll come.” Becki started clearing our table. In all of our late night talks, the subject of exercise had never come up. I had no idea she was a runner. Just one more thing to make her hotter than hell.
THE HOTEL GYM was insane. I couldn’t believe all the machines that were available. It was the biggest hotel gym I’d ever seen.
“Calon Ridge… in tennis shoes. Said no one ever.” Becki burst out laughing as she walked through the door.
“You didn’t think I was going to lift in my Docs, did you?” I was suddenly strangely aware of my athlete wanna-be attire.
“Well, no. I just hadn’t thought this whole thing through. I can see your dick.” She winked and nodded toward my black athletic shorts.
“Becki!” I tried to whisper because two younger girls had just walked in and hadn’t taken their eyes off me. “These are thin, and I don’t have compression shorts under them. One more word out of you and those girls will see my dick, too. And it will be pointing at you, because it will be your fault,” I whispered as controlled as I could, but I was panicked.
The girls giggled, and I prayed it was just
the nervous fan-thing and not because they were completely aware of my growing wood. I quickly sat down at the lat machine and distracted myself with a hundred and twenty-five pounds. The two girls came over to me, and I was so thankful I’d thought to sit. Hiding a boner was way easier with my t-shirt shielding my crotch.
“You’re—you’re Calon Ridge, aren’t you?” The shorter blonde was practically hyperventilating as her friend spoke.
“I am. And you are…” I raised an eyebrow, and the blonde grabbed her friend’s forearm for balance.
“I’m Shelly, and this is my sister, Tiff. We’re huge fans. We saw you play at Paisley. You’re amazing.” Tiff teetered and giggled. I was going to have to start getting used to this. Totally bizarre.
“Thank you both, so much. I’m so happy you enjoyed the show. Thanks for introducing yourselves. I love to meet our fans.” Now, I was uncomfortable. How do you cut a conversation short when you’re not leaving the room and have no other excuse to walk away?
“Could you sign our shirts? Sorry, we don’t have anything else with us.” Shelly handed me a Sharpie she’d dug out of her duffle bag.
“Soccer champs, huh?” I winked. They proudly smiled down at their matching hot pink tournament t-shirts.
“Yeah, we’re from Pennsylvania. We’re in LA for a national tournament,” Tiff finally spoke. Both girls were smiling from ear to ear as I signed my name across the backs of their shoulders.
“There ya go.” I looked up at Becki whose breasts were jogging just as much as she was, and I was quickly reminded of the boner I’d just gotten rid of.
“Thanks, Mr. Ridge.”
“Calon. I’m not old enough to be a mister.” I smiled and winked again.
They squealed and ran out the door.
I turned back around, reached for the lat bar and realized I had a perfect view of Becki on the treadmill in the mirror in front of me. She had popped her ear buds in, and her lips were moving to a song that I assumed was giving her the even pace she was keeping.
My muscles were stinging by the time I finished my set. I moved over to the chest press and planned to just keep going down the line until I couldn’t take the pain anymore. Becki was still running, and the line of machines was perfectly placed so I could continue to gawk.
It had only been a couple weeks since I was an enamored escort that made sure Becki got home safely after our shows. I thought back to the nights I left her without anything more than a ‘thank you’ or a long hug. It seemed like a lifetime since the days I longed to know what her lips would feel like on mine, yet it hadn’t been that long at all.
“MAYBE SOMEDAY YOU’LL write a song about me.” Becki took my hand in hers as we walked the familiar path from Mitchell’s back to her dorm.
“Who knows. Stranger things have happened.” I smiled, and she bumped into me with her hip.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Our clasped hands swung between us, and I couldn’t ignore the tingling where our skin touched. I was stoked she’d grabbed my hand, because I was out of practice and terrified to come on too strong.
“Oh, I don’t know. Just thinking that’s a little too cliché for you.” I raised an eyebrow, even though it was too dark for her to see.
“Too cliché? Are you kidding? I feel pretty certain that one hundred percent of all women on the planet have, at one time, fantasized about just that.” She squeezed my hand, but I wasn’t sure why.
“Well, okay then. I’ll have to keep that in mind.”
We walked in silence, still holding hands, until we reached the street corner by her dorm. She stopped dead in her tracks and turned to me. She took my other hand in hers and locked eyes with me. She didn’t say a word. Her lips parted, and her chest heaved. She licked her lips and leaned in toward my mouth. Her lips hovered within millimeters of mine, and I could feel her warm breath on my face.
I’d been walking her home for weeks, yet our lips had never met. I’d left her dorm more than once with a raging hard-on. I’d even spent many of those nights curled up with her in her tiny twin bed yet, I’d never tried to kiss her. Part of me held Chloe and Gracie’s kisses as sacred, but the rest of me knew that one day I would find someone I could move on with. Was Becki the one?
Her hands were on my waist and clutching the untucked flannel she’d told me was a hot wardrobe choice earlier that evening. I dropped one hand to the small of her back and pressed her against where I ached for her the most. Both our chests heaved, and we gasped for air, though neither of us moved any closer.
Becki slid her hands under the t-shirt I had on under my flannel. Her soft, warm hands swept across my sides and up my back until she was holding onto my shoulders from behind. Her nails dug in; not enough to break the skin but just enough to buckle my knees slightly. There was a fire ignited in both of us during those few moments, one that would be nearly impossible to squelch.
“Calon?” She spoke between a couple deep breaths.
“Yeah?”
“I want to kiss you so badly.” She pulled back a little and looked up at me.
“Yeah.” I was speechless at how far she’d climbed into my soul without even kissing me. “I’d like that an awful lot, but I want you to let me know when you’re ready.”
“I’ve never been too picky about the guys I make out with.” She rolled her eyes and turned away from me a little as if she was embarrassed.
“Okayyy.” I drew out the word and chuckled completely out of discomfort. I had no idea where she was going with that comment.
“No, listen a minute. That gets old. It makes kissing as easy as—as dancing with someone. And, I read somewhere that kissing can actually be more intimate than sex. I think that’s what I want. I don’t want it to come too soon. I want to ache for it.” She blinked away the apprehension I sensed in her voice then smiled my favorite shy smile.
“Do you ache for me, Becki?” Yeah, I did that on purpose; pulled the sexy romance novel line right out of my head. She dropped her head back and groaned. We both burst out laughing, and I continued walking her to the door to the building.
“I mean it, Calon. You only had to turn me down a couple of times to make me reconsider giving away something so intimate, so quickly.” She looked away again and shivered a little in the cool night air. I’d never seen her so unsure of herself. She was letting down her walls.
I took off my flannel and draped it over her shoulders then ducked down to catch her offset gaze. “Becki, I want you to know I haven’t kissed anyone since Gracie.”
“Okay… one, mentioning making out with my best friend just moments after we almost kiss for the first time just docked you a couple points.” She poked me in the chest. “Second, dude, that was like two years ago. You can’t be serious.” She shook her head in disbelief then let it fall against my chest.
“Okay. One, I’m sorry for mentioning it. Second, yes, I’m serious.” I needed to touch her again, so I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into me, making it look like it was partially to keep her warm when really it was a sure way to feel her against my body again. “I have no doubt a kiss between you and me, whenever it happens, will be worth the wait. You’re worth the wait.”
I felt her sigh, and she shook her head against my chest, then pushed herself away from me slowly. “Look, smooth talkin’ rock star, I’ve got a huge exam tomorrow, so you need to go home. Now. I won’t be able to sleep if you stay here getting all deep and shit.”
“Oh, sorry for getting all deep and shit.”
“I like your deep shit. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t ask you to take me to dinner tomorrow night.”
“Right.” I chuckled at how weird she could be. “Okay, then go! Go study. I’ll see you tomorrow. For dinner.”
We shared one last way-too-sensual hug, then she bounced through the door and she was gone. I floated home, just me and all my deep shit.
“SO, SWEATY PANTS, what are you thinking?” She stood behind me, breasts right behind my head as I finished my last
set of abs.
“I was thinking about the night we had our almost-kiss.”
“Oh, our almost-kiss?” She smiled knowing exactly what I was referring to.
“Yeah. Very hot.” I took a slow deep breath, so I could calm what was in my shorts and finally stand up.
“Very, very hot.” As soon as I stood and turned, she leaned into me. Her breasts were covered by just a sports bra, her nipples were alert and pressed against my chest.
“Becki. You can’t—”
She grabbed my face and crashed her lips into mine.
“Are you going to make out with me, right here? In the hotel gym?” I put my hands on her small, bare waist and pulled her hips into me. It was futile. I was not getting out of that gym with a limp willy.
“Yeah, I am.” She put her hands on my biceps and used them to steer me backwards toward the unisex restroom by the door.
Once inside, we tore at each other’s clothes and threw them on the floor. The whole one wall was a vanity with a mirror. I took her by the waist and lifted her up onto the edge of the ceramic counter.
She sucked in a sharp breath. “Shit! That’s cold.” She wrapped her legs around my hips and thrust her hands up through my hair. “Make me scream, Calon.”
“God, Becki.” I shuddered at how sexy her voice was when she said those four words.
I plunged deep within her, and she called out my name. Her heels pressed into my ass and pulled me into her as soon as I‘d pull out. She pressed her hands down beside each of her hips and leaned back against the mirror. Her head was back, and her mouth open. I ran my hand up her stomach, to her breast, and up her neck, until I dipped my thumb in her mouth. She moaned and sucked hard.
She let go of me with her legs and put her feet up on either side of her ass on the edge of the counter. The view she created for me was my undoing. I grabbed her hips and thrust into her over and over and over, each time something extraordinary built within me.
Above the Noise Page 11
