“Who was that?” Manny pointed out toward the DJ booth.
“I have no fucking idea. I didn’t even have time to get to the booth.” Bones shook his head in frustration.
“Look, I think it’s best we just pack up and head out quietly, and I will smooth things over tomorrow when I call Ronaldo to tell him what actually happened. If I can figure out what actually happened.”
The guys started to pack up the stage in the dark, so they could haul everything out the back door and into the van. I headed back to the merchandise table where Cyan was convincing some customers that all sales were final. I couldn’t believe people were trying to return t-shirts because the guys had to stop playing. I was so frustrated I could spit. It wasn’t like we could somehow let everyone know what happened without taking the mic from the DJ and making an announcement that would inevitably sound like a whole string of excuses. Especially since someone else took it upon themselves to make up a pretty shitty one.
“What the hell are they doing, Becki?” Cyan folded piles of t-shirts into boxes as she spoke.
“Something happened to silence the band and then someone made that unauthorized announcement.” I shook my head.
“The girl you sent to borrow my VIP pass is the one who made the announcement. I assumed you told her to.”
“What? I didn’t send anyone to you.” I grabbed the crate we used for CDs and started piling them in so we could close up the table before more people came to return their purchases.
“Oh, shit! Some girl said she needed to borrow my VIP pass to give to you because you lost yours and the bouncer wouldn’t let you back stage.” She cocked her head a little.
“Cyan. I’ve had mine the whole time. I didn’t ask anyone to come borrow yours.”
“Well, the girl who took my VIP pass is the one I saw making that announcement. Becki, what the hell is going on?”
“I have no idea, Cyan. What did she look like? Would you recognize her if you saw her again?” I wasn’t sure what difference it would make if I knew who she was. It’s not like I could find her in the masses inside The Moondance.
“She had long dark hair, real thin. She was wearing a crop top and leggings. Slutty looking. But, that’s all I remember.”
“She’s the one who asked me if I was Calon’s girlfriend. This doesn’t make any sense.” I stood there holding the crate of CDs trying to figure it all out.
“Becki, I am so sorry. I should have texted you to confirm that you actually needed it, but it was so crazy back here. I was so scared if I got distracted people would start stealing stuff off the tables.”
“It’s not your fault, Cyan. But it’s obvious she wanted your VIP pass to convince the DJ to let her make the announcement that made us sound like total assholes. Shit.”
“I’m really sorry, B.”
“No worries. There’s nothing we can do about it now. Unless you can come up with something that will help us keep this from becoming a huge rumor that snowballs out of control. This place was packed tonight because Alternate Tragedy was playing. And, now, all these people think they’re dicks for shutting down the stage and leaving for what they think was another show.”
“Let me make some calls, Becki, and I will see what I can do. I may not be able to get ahold of anyone tonight, but I’ll call you sometime tomorrow to let you know what I come up with.”
“That would be amazing, Cyan. Thank you so much.”
She gave me a hug, and we grabbed a couple bouncers to let us out the employee exit and help us carry the boxes to where Spider had the van waiting for us. We packed everything in, and I stayed outside the van to thank Cyan one more time for whatever she was planning to orchestrate for us. We rode in silence toward the hotel. I dozed off a little but was startled by the buzz in my pocket.
Cyan: B! I was wrong. Got ahold of a friend at B103. They can do an afternoon interview on Friday, during their Rock Block. And…
Me: Cyan! THANK YOU! And… what?
Cyan: I did a little digging. Our slutty announcer is Malcolm Phoenix’s daughter.
Me: Malcolm Phoenix? The sleazy band manager?
Cyan: That’s the one.
Me: Why would SHE do that?
Cyan: No idea. Will keep digging. Gotta go.
Me: You rock! Thx.
“Guys! Cyan got you an interview Friday with B103. You can set everything straight about whatever the hell it was that happened tonight.”
“Thanks, Becki. You da bomb!” Spider flashed me his gorgeous smile in the rearview mirror.
“And, she also said the girl who made that announcement is Malcolm Phoenix’s daughter.”
“What the FUCK?! That guy’s an ass!” Manny slammed his fists on the dashboard.
“He was pissed that we didn’t sign with him last year. I bet this was his chicken shit way of getting revenge.” Calon rubbed his forehead. “Well, we can’t prove anything. So, we just gotta move past it.”
Spider cranked the stereo. Pearl Jam’s “State of Love and Trust” was a good song to pull us out of our funk. We all sang at the top of our lungs to rid ourselves of the tension from the evening.
I WAS SO pissed I could barely breathe. Becki told us some girl asked Cyan to borrow her VIP pass. Something just seemed messed up about the whole night, but I couldn’t make sense of any of it. My blood boiled. I couldn’t wait to refute the unauthorized announcement that made it sound like we’d just stopped after the fourth song and left. If the faulty wiring was going to shut us down it could have at least happened mid-song, so the whole crowd could tell it wasn’t part of our plan to just cut out. Fuck. That whole thing made us look like huge dicks.
I threw my head back against the headboard of Becki’s hotel bed and sucked back the last of my beer. A loud crash that came from the bathroom startled me, and I dropped the empty bottle to the floor.
“Becki!” When I flew through the door, the first thing I saw was blood dripping down the side of the tub. The curtain rod was hanging off the wall on one end. There was water pouring down over the curtain and out onto the floor. I couldn’t make sense of what was going on until I realized Becki was lying at the bottom of the tub, unconscious and bleeding from a large gash on her forehead.
“Oh, God!! Help! Becki! Someone help!” It was just us in her room, and I knew no one could hear me. I turned the water off and tried to get my hands under her arms, so I could lift her, but the soapy water made her skin too slippery. My phone was in the other room. As I was trying to decide if I should call 9-1-1, her eyes fluttered open, and she winced.
“Ow. My head. What happened?” She pushed herself up on her hands and looked down at the bottom half of her body still entangled in the shower curtain. Blood dripped from her forehead onto her chest and ran down between her breasts. “Calon! What happened? Why am I bleeding? Calon!”
“Shh. Becki. Let’s just get you out of this tub and decide if we’re taking you to the hospital or not.”
“Hospital? No fucking way. I don’t do hospitals. I think I just passed out. I had the water super hot.”
“Well, let’s just get you dried off and cleaned up and see how you feel.” I helped her up, handed her a washcloth to hold on her head, wrapped her snuggly in a big white fluffy towel, and carried her out to the bed and propped up all the pillows against the headboard. “Just sit back and give me a sec to get you all cleaned up and see what we’re working with here.”
She smiled and then winced when she pulled the washcloth from her head and saw it was soaked with blood. My hands shook. I didn’t do emergencies well at all. It brought back way too many memories of what I went through when my mom started dating Carver, a nasty son-of-a-bitch who used me as a punching bag when my mom wasn’t around.
Soon after she gave up Kate, my mom pretty much lost her marbles and fell off the edge of reality. I spent the next ten years fending for myself and trying to stay out of the way of Carver and a handful of other violent drunks. But, more than once that I pissed one of them o
ff so badly that it landed me in the hospital bloodied and bruised.
Carver was the most convincing liar of them all, and he wasn’t stupid. It always ended up looking like an accident, something I’d carelessly done to bust up my face or break both my wrists. He and my mom were a blip on the doctors’ and nurses’ radar as soon as we would walk into the ER. Gnarly looking dude carrying a busted up kid and a crying mom standing off to the side with her arms folded and her head down. Classic abuse case. When they’d ask what happened, Carver would come up with these elaborate scenarios that meticulously described each bruise and cut in a way that made it virtually impossible to be suspicious. And like all abused children feel, my mom’s life was at stake. If I told anyone what really happened, he’d have killed us both. Hospitals are the only thing that can throw me into a panic attack. And I have huge trust issues with medical staff, since no one saw through his charade like they should have.
“Ow! Calon! That hurts.” She tried to push my hands away from her face.
“Becki, just let me wipe the blood away, so I can see how bad this cut is. What happened in there anyway?”
“I remember getting real dizzy and nauseous, so I bent over to try and sit down. That’s all I remember. I guess I passed out and fell the rest of the way down, taking the curtain and curtain rod with me.” She smiled and rolled her eyes.
“Well, if that’s how it happened then this cut is from the faucet, which means you didn’t hit it as hard as you could have if you’d have passed out standing straight up. The cut isn’t all that bad. I was more concerned that you had a concussion from hitting the edge of the tub or something.”
“I’ve been dizzy and faint all night. I puked up my own and someone else’s guts at the show tonight. I guess the stress got to me, and then the heat in the shower with no food in me is what caused me to faint. I’m so sorry I scared you, Calon.” She sat still long enough for me to get a Band-Aid from the complimentary toiletries stash. I carefully placed it across her cut, and she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around my neck. Water droplets from her arms soaked through my thin shirt and gave me chills.
“You puked? Honey, are you okay? Are you coming down with something?” I rubbed her face with the back of my hand and kissed her gently. “You don’t taste like puke.”
“I brushed my teeth, Calon! And, yes, I’m fine. I used to throw up all the time in elementary and middle school when I’d get really stressed over something. School plays, chorus concerts, and any kind of event that had a lot of details mounting up to the final presentation. Always… that last day I’d puke over the moon.”
“That’s hot.” I laughed and kissed her again. “I hate that what you’re doing for us made you sick. We have to figure out how to remedy that.”
“I just need to stay off the stage. It’s too fucking hot up there. And, I didn’t eat dinner. I need to have a water bottle with me when we are out and I’m publicity-ing.”
“Pub-what?”
“You know what I mean.” She giggled and yawned. “Staying cool, drinking lots of water, and making sure I ate is what got me through high school without so much as one puke fest. Even though I had to take public speaking and curate my own art show, I kept it all under control.”
“Okay, well that sounds like a plan. Now, since I’m positive you don’t have a concussion, I think we should both get some sleep. You need to get some rest. I’ve read that you’re more likely to have anxiety if you’re tired, and we’ve been running you ragged.” I helped her get under the covers. “I’ll go refill your water bottle.” She smiled up at me with that smile that melted me from the inside out. I couldn’t believe she was mine. I couldn’t believe I could possibly deserve something as perfect as she was. I was in awe of what we were together. It felt so good. Just being in the hotel room with her wiped away all the hell from earlier. Albeit, temporarily.
“You okay if I take a quick shower?” I handed her the water bottle and started to strip off my sweaty clothes from the gig when I realized I’d need to reattach the curtain rod, before I could even think about washing the night’s sweat from my skin.
“I’d like to take one with you.” She winked and smiled another sexy smile.
“I’d like that, too, but you are banned from showers for the night. I’ll be quick, and then I will wrap myself around you and keep you safe all night. Deal?”
“Deal.”
She was sound asleep when I came out with the other fluffy white towel around my waist. She looked so peaceful. I had just stopped shaking. I didn’t want her to know how badly her fall had freaked me out. I was afraid she’d start keeping things from me if she thought it would upset me. She was everything to me, and if anything ever happened to her because she was trying to protect me from discomfort, I would never forgive myself.
“What are you thinking?” Her voice stopped my heartbeat for a fraction of a second, and I sucked in a breath so sharp it choked me.
“Geez, Becki.” I shook my head and climbed under the covers with her. I knew I had to keep my promise and always answer that question honestly, but I didn’t want to. I’d already burdened her with enough of my demons just telling her the story of Kate.
“Come on, what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” She rolled to her side and tucked her arm under her head.
I took a deep breath and rolled over to face her. I gently laid my hand on the side of her neck and rubbed her cheek with the pad of my thumb. She was so incredibly beautiful, and if I told her what I’d been thinking about, the soft gaze she blanketed me with would turn to sorrow and pity. But I’d promised.
“Becki, there’s been a lot of abuse in my life, and, as much as I want to share all of me with you, I think it may be better if those details stay within me. I don’t want to put those images, the things I wish I could forget, in your mind.”
“Calon?” Worry lines spread across her forehead. “The abuse. Who was abused?”
“Becki, do we really wanna go there? This has been a really shitty night. I’d really rather not open up this topic after everything that’s happened tonight. Ya know?” I knew she wouldn’t let it go. Becki was terrible at patiently waiting… for anything.
“Calon, just tell me. I can’t put it out of my head unless you answer my question. I don’t need you to give me details. I just want you to answer what I asked. Who was abused? Please.” She ran her fingers through my hair, which was something she could do all day long, and I’d never tire of it. My whole body relaxed, and I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a couple seconds.
“After Kate left, my mom just wigged. She was a mess. She started dating this guy, Carver.” Just saying his name lifted the hair on the back of my neck. “Carver hit me and my mom when he’d been drinking. Mostly me because I always tried to keep him from getting to my mom.”
“Shit, Calon.”
“Yeah.” I slid my right arm under the covers and around her waist. The fluffy towel that covered her body was warm and inviting. I wanted to rip it from her and make love to her, but I knew she needed to sleep. “Babe, you need to sleep. Let’s get some sleep, all right?”
“Okay.” Her voice was barely a whisper, and her eyes fluttered closed. She took a deep breath and wiggled herself as close to me as she could get. “Calon, I’m sorry he hurt you.”
I pulled her in close, and her head tucked into my neck. Her breath on my neck and chest was enough to win me a pair of blue balls for the evening, but I could be satisfied with just holding her for now. She fit so perfectly in my arms. It was like she was made to be mine.
As I lay there, lyrics formed in my mind. It was how I wrote the music for the Fallen album. I would just lie awake at night and get inside an emotion. My heart would just spurt words and phrases, and I’d write them all down on a pad of paper I kept next to my bed. I propped myself up and looked around the room. There was tablet with a few sheets of hotel letterhead and a pen on the side table. I reached over Becki and grabbed it. Becki rolled away fro
m me and snuggled into her pillow. I rolled over and just started writing.
So much of my life has been darkness
But you handed me the sun
Brought to me as a gift
Baby, you’re the one.
Your heart came at me like the tide
Each wave coveting more
Now you’re completely inside
And, I’ll never leave your shores.
I want to be your habit
I want to be your vice
I want to lose myself inside you.
Be the reflection in your eyes.
So much of my life has been darkness
But you handed me the sun
Brought to me as a gift
Baby, you’re the one.
The one who lights my fire
Who turns me inside out.
The one whose body tempts me
Leaves me breathless and spellbound
So much of my life has been darkness
But you handed me the sun
Brought to me as a gift
Baby, you’re the one.
I want to be your habit
I want to be your vice
I want to lose myself inside you.
Be the reflection in your eyes.
I want to be
I want to be
I want to be your habit
I want to be your vice
I want to lose myself inside you.
Be the reflection in your eyes.
I laid the pad and pen back on the table and pulled Becki into me again. She mumbled something I couldn’t understand, tilted her head back, and pressed her back into me. Even in her sleep she loved me.
JUST BEFORE WE played on the main stage at Summer Fest, we announced we were headed to LA to go on tour with the Turkeys. Becki jumped up on a bench or something and said she’d be our publicist. We kind of hired her on the spot, right there while we were still on stage, more as our manager than publicist. Of course, for her to tour with us she needed to take a leave of absence from UTK, pack up all her belongings and put them in storage until she returned. That was kind of a big deal for a spur of the moment decision. It was then that I knew she wasn’t just diggin’ me for my hair.
Above the Noise Page 13
