“Jerk.” I stomped on his foot. Not as hard as I could have, but he flinched. I felt it.
“So, what’s got you so quiet and pensive in here?” He briefly squeezed me to him then walked over and sat on the edge of my bed.
“This.” I lifted the back corner of the glass just enough to pull the picture out from under it. I walked over and sat on Calon’s leg, resting my feet between his on the floor. His hand slid around my hip, and I leaned my body into his embrace. I held the picture up for him to see. A couple seconds ticked by in which neither of us said a word.
“Your dad?” He hugged me tighter.
“Yeah.”
“Been a long time since you saw that picture?” He looked back at the picture.
“I forgot I had it. I moved my jewelry box just a couple minutes before you came in, and there it was, directly underneath. Hidden.”
“What are you thinking?” Calon squeezed me a little.
“I’m thinking what an amazing dad you’re going to be.” I kissed him on the tip of his nose then stood and pulled my shirt up over my head, unhooked my bra, and slid my sweats down.
Calon’s eyes darted back and forth between me and the door that was slightly opened.
“So, shut it.”
“You’re… you’re not wearing any underwear.” He crossed the room and painstakingly shut and locked my door so carefully he could’ve qualified for a position on the bomb squad.
“Haven’t been all day. Nice of you to notice.” I slid under the covers and smiled at him with a shy sexy smile. As I looked at the man before me, clad in a tight gray Johnny Cash t-shirt, well-worn jeans sitting low on his hips, and black boots, I realized this man could distract me from just about anything.
“Your mom won’t care that we’re both sleeping in here? Together?” He slid off his boots.
“Calon. It’s no secret that we have sex. She’s not the overbearing kind of parent. She would think it was weird if you didn’t sleep in here.” My body squirmed a little just thinking about him starting to undress before me.
“So, this is where you slept growing up? It’s kind of sexy to be in here with you. Feels taboo or just a little wrong in all the right ways.” He undid the button on his jeans but then stopped. The wheels turned in his head, and I knew his horny brain was up to something.
“Yeah, Calon. This is where I slept every night of my life before going off to college. Well, the nights I actually came home.” I winked at him because I knew he was turned on by the bad girl side of me.
“So, did you touch yourself in that bed?” He crossed his arms, which pulled up his shirt just enough that I could see his dark hair that grew just below his belly button. He leaned back against my dresser and crossed his ankles.
“Nope. Not once.” I kept a straight face.
As the sudden look of disappointment fell across his face, I burst out laughing.
“Yes, Calon, of course, I did. All girls do it, just most of them lie about it. Hell, girls probably do it even more than guys do.” This conversation had my body in knots. My legs squirmed as a dull ache settled deep in my core.
“Will you do something for me?”
“Anything.” My lips stayed parted. This was so hot.
“Imagine we are far away from each other and you’re thinking about me before you fall asleep. Can you do that?”
“Been there. Done that.” I was determined to make him as hot and bothered as he was making me.
“What do you mean?” He looked sincere in his question.
“Calon, I told you this before; the nights we lay on my bed and talked until we could barely hold our eyes open—as soon as you’d leave I’d—well, I’d fantasize that you hadn’t gone home.”
“How?”
“Like this.” I slowly let my eyes close and tilted my head back. One hand slid under the covers and down my bare stomach. The other reached up and took hold of one of the rungs on my headboard. Picturing him in my dorm pulled up all the feelings I’d had when we were just getting to know each other, the excitement of being turned on by him, having to hold back that excitement, and the longing for him to touch me.
Calon sucked in a deep breath when he saw the blankets that covered my hand move. I slid my hand between my legs and squeezed my thighs together. I was so wet for him already. I knew I’d have to back off on the fantasy thing because I could come in just seconds if I kept doing what I was doing.
“Calon,” I whispered his name and slid my middle finger to the tiny spot that needed more pressure. My skin was so slick, I instinctively started the small circular motions that I knew would propel me further into the sensations that would cause me to unravel in no time. A moan slipped from my lips without my consent, and my eyes flew open and locked on Calon’s. He placed a single finger to his lips shushed me.
“How about some music as a buffer?” He tapped a little on his phone and walked over to the side table. “You’re driving me insane.” He put his phone on the side table before I heard any instruments, Calon sang the a cappella first line of OneRepublic’s “Counting Stars” as he shed his clothes. By the second verse, he’d climbed under the covers and hovered over me. “Sorry, Becks, I couldn’t wait to touch you. The images in my head of you touching yourself while you think of me sends me over the edge.”
“Then make love to me, rock star.” I put my hands on his hips. He dipped down and took my bottom lip between his teeth. He bit down just enough to make me gasp as the gentle pain in my lip shot like lightning down to my core. I wrapped my legs around the backs of his and tipped my hips up. His curls hung around his face and those fucking sexy green eyes stared down into my soul.
“God, I’m so in love with you.” With that he slid inside me. His head flung back, and his mouth fell open as he felt me clench around him. I slid my hands across his back and down to his ass. Hottest ass ever. He clenched it under my fingers as he made sweet, hot love to me in my bed.
We fell asleep sweaty, naked, and sated. I was aware of his hands on me throughout the night. When I rolled over for him to spoon me, he took my hips and dragged them toward him until my ass was firmly against his dick, as though he needed me there. His strong arms around me all night made all my stress melt away.
I woke to an empty bed but a smell that practically lifted me from it. Squinting in the early morning sunshine that poured into my room as I searched for something to throw on, I grabbed black leggings and my favorite oversized Nirvana t-shirt simply because I could get them on quickly while I walked toward the door and out into the hallway.
The house was quiet, except for some noise in the kitchen and Calon’s humming. I couldn’t place the tune, but he hummed the same short tune over and over again. I stood just outside the kitchen archway to listen some more. He melted me.
“Merry Christmas.” I touched his back and he jumped at the sound of my voice. I giggled.
“Merry Christmas, beautiful.” He turned and kissed me on the nose then walked a bubbly casserole dish to the table and tossed the hot pads on the counter. I let my eyes drift across the table. The fruit salad looked like something gourmet you’d see in a cooking magazine. There was just about every color of the rainbow chopped and sliced in a big ceramic bowl. There were bagels and scones, cream cheese, jelly, and even a small jar of lemon curd. The casserole in the center of the table looked amazing. Cheese, eggs, and big chunks of sourdough bread all mixed together in a giant brick of heaven. My mouth started to water, and I looked at him in awe.
“You are amazing. I’m so lucky.” Yeah, it was sappy, but it was the truth and the truth was sometimes mushy. I wrapped my arms around him, and we hugged and swayed next to the table.
“Morning, you two. I’ll get the juice.” My mom smiled at us and winked at me when she walked past. “So, Calon, what is that heavenly smell?”
“Well, it’s something my mom used to make all the time. It’s strata. Bread, cheese, and eggs all stirred together and baked. You let it soak in the pan overni
ght, so the bread sucks up all the moisture. You can put just about anything in it, but I was a little limited to meatless ingredients.” He smiled and pulled me closer into his side.
“Wow. Was your mom Martha Stewart.?” I cringed on the inside at her question, because I didn’t know where that would take Calon in his mind.
“Not really, Mrs. Mowry. Quite honestly, I’ve been cooking since I was five. So, it was simply the ease in preparation that inspired her to share this recipe with me. That way she didn’t have to get up to make us breakfast.” I rested my head against his chest and pulled him to me. His smile was pained, but he had been respectful in his portrayal of his mom. I wondered where she was, if she was better, if she knew of her son’s talents and success.
I looked up at my mom and made a face. She needed to respond somehow. Calon didn’t open up to many people.
“Calon, I’m sorry. I—”
“No worries, Mrs. Mowry. It was a long time ago. Now, ladies, are we going to eat or what?”
After a couple hours of eating and storytelling, we were all too stuffed to move. Calon got up and brought the presents from under the tree to the table.
Neither of us grew up doing big Christmas mornings like the ones you see on TV where the room is filled with piles and piles of gifts. My mom always taught me that giving gifts wasn’t about the amount of gifts you bought someone, it was about the amount of thought that went into that one perfect gift.
At a street fair in LA, Calon and I’d watched a man hand-dye a silk scarf. The design was very abstract, but the blue and green splotches of color reminded me of Hydrangeas, which were my mom’s favorite flower.
“I love this. It looks like Hydrangeas. Thank you both, so much. There was no need to spend money on me. My gift was you two coming home for the holidays in the middle of a big tour.” She looped the scarf around her neck and fluffed it here and there to make it just right.
“Well, I guess it’s my turn. I got you two a joint gift.” She reached across the table and placed an envelope in front of us. Calon motioned for me to open it. It was a five hundred dollar gift card for BabyMe, a baby boutique just outside Knoxville that had everything we’d need to welcome our little one home.
“Thank you so much, Mom. This is amazing.” I got up and walked around the table to give her a hug. When I turned to head back to where I’d been sitting, Calon was behind me, waiting to hug her. Their hug lasted a little longer than I would have thought, and neither of them spoke. Not out loud, at least.
I was so excited to give Calon what I’d had made for him. There was this cool shop down the street from the hotel that sold handmade jewelry, tapestries, leather bags, belts, and cuffs. Leather cuffs were a rocker thing. A single wide strap and a snap, like a bracelet. I had the guy that made them hand-stamp something and dye Calon’s a little darker than he usually did. He’d looked at me like I was crazy when I wrote down what I wanted stamped into it. I told him to just make it look good. He made the letters smaller than he usually did so all the words would fit and it turned out beautiful. I knew Calon would love it.
When he pulled it from the bag, he read it out loud.
“Without limit, infinite, no catch, no fine print, no holds barred, no ifs ands or buts, no joke, no strings attached, pure, unconditional, unlimited, and unrestricted.” Unshed tears floated in his eyes. He reached for my chin and pulled my face to his. “I’ve never owned something this personal. Thank you so much, Becki. I love it. I really, really love it.” He kissed me gently then snapped his cuff around his arm and, like a little boy, grabbed the finely wrapped small, flat box from in front of him and handed it to me.
It didn’t take long to unwrap, and, to be honest, I was a bit nervous to open it. I had a feeling it was something as personal and meaningful as what I’d given him. When I pulled the lid off, I smiled. It was a bracelet, too, a narrow silver bangle. And it was also hand-stamped but with the last stanza of the song I’d read on the pad of paper by the hotel bed.
“I want to be your habit. I want to be your vice. I want to lose myself inside you. Be the reflection in your eyes.” I slid it on my arm and held my arm out for my mom to see. She turned it as she read it.
“Now, how did you two do that? Your gifts are almost identical?”
“Good minds, Mrs. Mowry.” Calon flashed her a priceless smile.
“Calon, so that song really was about me?”
“You doubted me?”
“I don’t know. I just thought maybe it was a song about love more so than about a specific person.”
“Nope. It’s all you. And there’s another small part to my present.” He got up and walked into the hallway. I heard the coat closet open and close. When he walked back into the kitchen, his acoustic guitar was hanging from his shoulders. He smiled, and I realized what he was going to do.
Calon put his foot up on the seat of his chair and rested his guitar on his thigh. He looked up at us and chuckled. My mom and I must’ve looked like a couple crazed fans just waiting for him to notice us. He winked, shook his head, and then started to play. It was the melody I’d heard him humming in the kitchen.
So much of my life has been darkness
But you handed me the sun
Brought to me as a gift
Baby, you’re the one.
Your heart came at me like the tide
Each wave coveting more
Now you’re completely inside
And, I’ll never leave your shores.
I want to be your habit
I want to be your vice
I want to lose myself inside you
Be the reflection in your eyes.
So much of my life has been darkness
But you handed me the sun
Brought to me as a gift
Baby, you’re the one.
The one who lights my fire
Who turns me inside out.
The one whose body tempts me
Leaves me breathless and spellbound
So much of my life has been darkness
But you handed me the sun
Brought to me as a gift
Baby, you’re the one.
I want to be your habit
I want to be your vice
I want to lose myself inside you
Be the reflection in your eyes.
I want to be
I want to be
I want to be your habit
I want to be your vice
I want to lose myself inside you
Be the reflection in your eyes.
Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I just sat there, silent and still. What in the hell did I do in my lifetime to deserve this amazing man? What made him love me the way he did? My mom squeezed my hand, pounded it a little on my leg, then stood and walked toward Calon.
“You’re a keeper, Calon Ridge. Don’t you hurt my girl, you hear me?” She nodded slightly.
“Never in a million years, Mrs. Mowry. Not ever.” His eyes landed on mine as he said it.
“I love my bracelet, Calon.”
“I love you, Becki.”
“Absolute,” we said it in unison. We were so corny, and I didn’t care.
“SO, HOW DOES this thing work?” I was so nervous I could puke. Becki looked down at our clasped hands in her lap and then back up at me. I hated the way doctor’s offices and hospitals smelled. You’d think with all the medical miracles, someone could create an air freshener than didn’t strike fear into the hearts of its patients.
“I have no idea, Calon. I’ve never done this before.” She smiled a flawless but nervous smile.
“You didn’t look it up or Google it or anything?” My knee bounced up and down, which made the waiting room chair squeak. Becki reached out and stopped my leg as she shook her head. “You didn’t? You’re going in there blind?”
“Not blind, Calon. I’ve seen people having ultrasounds on TV shows. I know it doesn’t hurt, and that’s all I care about. I want to get through this entire pregnancy
with as little pain as possible. I don’t do physical pain very well.”
“Um, Becks, I’m pretty sure a twelve pound baby coming out of your… you know… will hurt.”
“First of all, I highly doubt I will be having a twelve pound baby, and it’s called a vagina, Calon. Say it with me, vuh-jy-nuh. Vagina.” She said the second half of her little corrective speech way louder than I would have liked. The snickering I heard from the other women in the waiting room made me more than a little uncomfortable.
“You’re Calon Ridge, right?” A very pregnant young woman, not much older than Becki, stood directly in front of me. She was so close that standing up wasn’t even an option for me. If I tried, I’d hit her belly, and she’d topple backwards. So, I spoke to her from my seat, which made me even more uncomfortable than I was during the vagina dialogue.
“I am. And you are?” I smiled and put my hand out to shake hers. I hoped she couldn’t feel me shaking.
“Violet, nice of you to remember. We met about, oh, I don’t know, about seven months ago.” She patted her belly and raised one eyebrow. Becki sucked in a breath and squeezed my hand. My throat slammed closed. Violet burst out laughing and held her belly with both hands. “I’m totally joking! Oh my word, that was so funny I almost peed myself.”
“Nice.” Becki was never one to hold back when someone pissed her off. “So, can we help you with something?” She motioned toward how close Violet stood to us.
“I just wanted to get your autograph and tell you how much I love your music.” She completely ignored Becki and handed me a Rolling Stone Magazine turned to the page with a very small piece on West Coast bands. She pointed to a black and white photo of our band in action at The Moondance.
I took the magazine and the pen she’d handed me and scribbled my name across the photo then smiled and handed everything back to her. “It was nice to meet you, Violet.”
“Becki Mowry?” A nurse clad in scrubs with little cartoon babies all over them stood holding a chart at the doorway that led to the exam rooms. Violet took a step back when the nurse looked in our direction.
Above the Noise Page 20
