When his fingers tangle through my hair, holding me, guiding me, I know I’m not alone in my desire and I suck him in as far as I can, doing something I’ve only ever tried once before.
“What the fuck, Tess. What the fuck?”
There is pain in his voice. Pain and desire and sadness and need. Good. That’s perfect. That’s exactly what I want from him. I want him to finally understand me, to really get me and to know how I feel. His emotions make me squeeze harder and suck deeper until his groan becomes a chant, until he rips his fingers from my hair in order to pull me away from him. I look up to see his chest heaving, his face angry but ecstatic too, all kinds of crazy emotions all at the same time.
The fact he can’t seem to make any coherent sentences makes me giddy. The fact he’s shaking his head at me worries me, so I stand and press my naked chest against his, pulling my pajama bottoms low so that his erection is seated against the softness of my belly.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” he mutters into my upturned face, holding my head firmly in his big hands. His face is flushed. His eyes accusing and his nostrils flared as he fights for breath. “We can’t do this, Tess.”
“Why not?”
“You’re my ward.”
“No I’m not.” I shake my head as if I’ve got way more self-confidence than I do. “As of today I am my own person.” I shove my pajama bottoms down my hips, letting them pool about my feet. I stare into Chase’s eyes. Daring him to deny me. Daring him to stop me. “I want you to fuck me.”
It’s a lie. I don’t want him to fuck me. I want him to love me but I say the F-word instead of the L-word because it somehow seems less scary.
His hooded eyes shut and his whole body shudders. I take advantage of his moment of weakness to gyrate my naked body against his, my breasts against his chest, my pubic mound against his thick-like-a-tree-trunk thigh.
“Dammit, Tessa.” He grunts. Then he makes this face, one I’d never seen before, where he presses his lips together and cringes, a millisecond later, in one swift movement he picks me up and carries me the short distance to the bed where he tosses me down.
“Is this what you want?”
“Yes,” I say feeling a tiny bit frightened by his angry demeanor.
He moves toward me, slowly, his body lithe and powerful. His cock hard and searching. His lips so rigid as to be almost cold.
“Kiss me,” I say when he’s hovering above me, looking like an angry god about to punish me, his mortal concubine, for manipulating him as mere mortals should not have the power to do.
He shakes his head as if he’s not going to, or doesn’t want to, or maybe wants to but doesn’t think he should. So, I take the decision out of his hands and make it for him. I place my hands around his neck and pull him down while lifting myself up, forcing his hard, angry mouth on mine. I pry his lips apart with my tongue and once the barrier is breached he uses his tongue to punish my mouth for daring to make entry, just like his strong legs punish my weaker ones by pushing my thighs apart in order to make room for him. Just like his big hands punish my small breasts for the presumptuousness of turning him on. He is an unwilling, willing participant in this and he is making me pay, which is fine by me.
I want to pay. I need to pay. For all the shitty things I’ve done and said to him over the last year and a half. All because I’ve been fucking in love with him and I’ve hated him for it.
Not anymore. This is my farewell hurrah. This is me embarking on the first day of the rest of my life bullshit. This is my graduation from this life into my real life.
To Chase I will always be the troubled girl his mother fostered for a while. The wild one who jumped his bones on the day of her departure.
To me, he will always be more. Much more. He will be the first truly good man I ever met. He will be the benchmark man, the one that all other men will be compared to. He will be the shining hero of my fantasies for many nights and years to come.
Most importantly, he will be my first.
Chapter Sixteen – Chase
While I know that Marcy has wondered about my late night excursions and wild ways, the truth is, I have never done this before. I’ve messed around, with guys...and girls, but never gone all the way.
Because Chase’s mouth is so possessively making love to mine, I have no time to tell him, no time to warn him before he fits himself at the weeping entrance of my body and thrusts. Hard. Breaking my hymen in one powerful surge, making me cry out in unexpected pain, causing him to pull back in horror.
“What the—?”
I grasp on to his hips, trying to force him back inside.
“Tell me you’re not a fucking virgin?”
I am hurt by his tone of incredulousness. I show him how hurt I am by punching him in the sternum. “What if I am...or was? So what?”
“Ah fuck.” He pulls out completely and rolls onto his back, his arm braced against his forehead.
I crawl right back on top of him. “Don’t you dare stop.”
“What am I doing?” He shakes his head. “What the fuck are we doing?” He opens his eyes and gives me a tortured look. “What is this?”
“What do you think this is?”
“I don’t know. I don’t fucking know.” He cringes. “I’m pretty sure I’m the biggest, shittiest pervert right now.”
“Why?” I punch him again. Not hard, God, I could never hurt him, but hard enough to get his attention. “Because I’m a virgin? Because I’m not the promiscuous little slut you thought I was?”
“No.”
“Because you think you’re so much better than me?”
“No.” He takes his hand from his forehead and reaches for me. I slap it away.
“Because you hate me? You hate me but you still want to fuck me?”
His expression changes. Softens. His eyes widen as if I’ve insulted him and not me. “God, no.” His hand comes up to my cheek and he touches me, softly, for the first time since this all began. “Is that what you think? You think I hate you?”
Tears spring to my eyes because of his stupid, sympathetic tone. I hate it and try to turn my face.
He doesn’t let me. He captures my chin and holds me still. “I don’t hate you, baby. I love you.”
“Yeah. I know. Like a sister.” My words get caught in my throat.
“No.” He strokes my cheek and there’s something in his voice, in the way the word seems to get stuck somewhere down low in his throat that makes me blink and stare hard at him.
“I don’t love you like a sister. I love you like this.” He strokes my jaw with his knuckles like it’s something he’s wanted to do for a long, long time. Then he kisses me. So fucking soft.
Into my mouth, he whispers, “I love you in a way I know I shouldn’t.”
I pull back. “Why not? Why shouldn’t you love me like this?” The five year old is alive and well in my voice. She’s not petulant this time, oh no. This time she’s the lost, sad, little girl who just wants to be loved and can’t understand why no one does.
“I don’t know.” His brows come together and he rubs his brow. “Fuck, Tess. I don’t know why I shouldn’t love you like this.”
I love you too, Chase. God. I love you so much and I’ve never really loved—
I can’t even finish the thought let alone actually articulate it. My lips quiver because the words, while impossible to say, are even more difficult to realize.
“Please,” I murmur. “Please give me this.”
He kisses my temple, my cheek, my jaw and finally my mouth. His lips are soft and pliant now. No longer rigid. No longer angry.
He rolls me over and spreads me out beneath him. “Do you know how many times I’ve dreamt of doing this?” he asks as he moves down my body, kissing my throat, my collarbones, licking a line down between my breasts before hazarding a glance up, waiting for my response.
I shake my head.
“More times than I can count.” He moves to my right nipple, taking it between his teeth a
nd biting. I suck in a breath as a jolt of electricity shoots from my chest to my clit. Making me throb. Making me move.
“You like that?”
“Yes.”
He nibbles on my other side and it has the same effect.
“Harder,” I whisper.
He looks up. “Really?”
I nod.
This time he clamps his teeth on my nipple and tugs. My back arches in response and my pussy pulses in delight, completely forgetting about being sore and freshly torn.
“Goddamn, Tess.” Sitting up, he wraps an arm around my arched back and pulls me up while splaying his other hand up and down my body, kneading my breasts and pinching my nipples as he goes.
Oh my God! It is so good. So, so good.
Yes, I’ve messed around with boys before, but this? This is something else completely. I don’t know why I’m surprised it’s so different. Chase is no boy. Chase is a man. A big, fucking confident, dominant man. Is it really any surprise he should know how to do this? How to touch me? How to make my body come alive?
Yes. That is exactly how I feel right now. I am alive for the first time in my life. Every nerve ending tuned in for the first time. Every bone, every muscle, every fiber awakened from whatever dormant state they’ve been stuck inside of for the last eighteen years, just waiting for the moment when someone would light a fire under me and wake me up.
Fucking amazing what love can do.
“Jesus, Tess. You’re on fire.” Chase strokes the length of my torso, up and down, not only focusing on my breasts but my belly and hips too. When his touch finds the hair on my mound, he pauses. He licks his lips and pushes my legs wider.
“Has anyone ever kissed you before?” he asks, his voice hoarse.
I debate about whether I should lie to him but there’s something about Chase that makes it impossible to lie. “I’ve messed around a bit,” I say.
“Do you like it?”
I nod. Eagerly.
He smiles and lowers himself between my parted thighs.
For whatever reason, I have second thoughts. I’m suddenly shy... “Wait.” I grab his hair and keep him from getting too close.
“What?”
“Are you sure? I mean...” I hesitate. “I mean...do you like it and everything? I don’t want you to—”
“You don’t want me to what?”
Fuck. Now I feel awkward. “I don’t want you to do it if you don’t want—”
He doesn’t let me finish my thought. He stops me in mid-sentence by getting close enough to flick my clitoris with his tongue. Before I can catch my breath to speak, he sucks the bit of flesh into his mouth.
My reaction is immediate.
Oh my fucking God.
If Chase thought I was on fire before, I’ve gone nuclear now. I’m about to detonate and take out the entire town with me. I’ve never, ever, ever felt anything like it.
“Shh, Tess. Shh.” Chase hovers above me, laughing.
“What?” My anger returns because there is nothing worse than Chase laughing at me.
“Do you have any idea how loud you are?”
The anger dissipates as quickly as it appeared. “No. But who cares? There’s no one to hear us.”
He grins and kisses me deeply. I suck on his tongue, suck the essence of where he’s been kissing me right off of him. The act makes him groan into my mouth. I love the sound of it. I love it.
Chase Walker loves me. Me!
Not only that, he desires me. I make him groan. I make him hard and aroused and needy. Goddamn, that is powerful stuff! The thought gives me life and more nerve than I thought I had. I feel superhuman. I kiss him like I’ve never kissed before and I spread my legs for him like I’ve done this before, like I know exactly what the fuck I’m doing.
“Baby,” He murmurs into my mouth. “I want to but I don’t want to hurt—”
“Fuck me, Chase. I need you to fuck me hard.”
Those are magic words, apparently. His eyes glaze over, his breath shudders inside his chest and he makes the same face he made when he picked me up and threw me on the bed, only this time he makes it as he thrusts.
Yes, I’m sore, but the pleasure of our union supersedes any sort of pain. In fact, the pain borders on pleasure in and of itself. I revel in it because it means that Chase is inside me, he’s a part of me and being a part of someone else fucking hurts but it’s also the best thing in the world.
Now I get it.
Goddammit, I get it!
When Chase buries his cock so deep inside of me that our hips are flush I feel whole for the first time in my life. I feel happy.
Ecstatic.
He holds me still, his features twisting, fighting for control.
“Don’t stop,” I pant. “Keep going.”
“Baby, if I keep going I’m going to come.”
“Then come. Please! I need to feel you come inside of me.”
His features screw up in agony. “God...tell me you’re on something.”
“What do you mean?”
“Birth control. Anything.”
Fuck.
“No.”
Chase scrambles out from between my legs. He kneels between my parted thighs and grasps his cock in one hand, pumping it hard for a few seconds before his cum spills out across my belly, bathing me in his essence.
I lie there stunned. Feeling turned on but more importantly feeling incredibly, supremely powerful.
I did this. I made Chase lose himself. I gave him that look of ultimate pleasure, the one that followed that weird look of pain just before he ejaculated.
Wow!
Chase climbs off of me and grabs a fistful of Kleenex from my bedside table. “I’m sorry,” he says as he wipes my tummy.
This is the first time Chase has ever apologized to me. While it’s wonderful to hear, it is completely unnecessary.
“Don’t.” I cover his hand with mine, helping him wipe. “Don’t apologize.”
My other hand snakes down to between my legs and I rub my swollen flesh, never taking my eyes off him. He stares at me, like he’s seeing me for the first time, then his gaze flicks to the hand between my legs. “You didn’t come.”
My head rolls from one side to the other. “Nope. Not yet.”
He scrunches the Kleenex into a ball and drops it on the floor all while watching me with a look of wonder.
“What?” I ask.
He takes my hand away from my body and replaces it with his own, his fingers pressing softly against me. “I’m going to make you come, Tess.”
“What?”
His hand moves in a gentle circle, spreading the moisture from my body in all directions. “And you can be as loud as you want.”
Fuck.
He moves in between my parted legs, kneeling there, watching what he’s doing, a smile growing like a climbing vine reaching for the sun. “And when you come...”—he glances up—“I want you to scream my name.”
Chapter Seventeen – Chase
I must have fallen asleep after Chase made me come. Twice. The first one was nice but a little shy, more like a preorgasm than the main event and Chase wasn’t satisfied with it. He kissed me into submission, forcing me to lie beneath him as he made me come again with his mouth. God! I didn’t think it was possible, but he wouldn’t stop kissing me. Not just my pussy, my whole body. Everywhere. Like he had to taste every inch of me. Like he meant what he was doing and loved it as much as I loved him doing it to me.
That orgasm rocked through me like a massive earthquake. I thought I was going to split apart and I shivered in his arms as aftershock after aftershock shuddered through me until my bones and flesh melted like hot wax, molded to him and I couldn’t move. I thought he might get up then, but he didn’t. He stayed, petting me, my hair, my hips, whispering soft, meaningless words in my ear.
Until I fell asleep.
I roll over, reaching for him, but he’s gone, which is probably a good thing because then I can leave without having to
say all those stupid goodbyes. I have foggy memories of some of the stuff Chase had whispered to me, stuff about me staying with him this week, about making love every day...every night, about driving out to New York. Together.
As much as this is exactly what I was hoping for, I can’t. Not because I don’t want to be with Chase, because of course I do. It’s because I need to do this on my own. I don’t want to have to rely on others...on him, on anyone. Chase is just so strong, so fucking competent, I’d end up trading in one caretaker for another.
No. I’m not ready to be with Chase. I’ve got to find myself and all that bullshit. Only once we’re equals and we both know we’re equals, can I be with him.
So I make a plan to slip out of bed, take my packed bags, call a cab and head out to the bus station without a farewell.
But when I get up and out of bed I find myself not in my old bedroom but back in the hut. I am wearing my bikini—no flip flops—and with a quick glance at my body, I see it is back to normal.
Jesus Christ!
Fucking hut.
Fucking island!
I’ve given up trying to make sense of this place and, with a hand to my forehead, I step out into the endlessly bright sunshine to find a beach teeming with people. Of course. There are families scattered across this section of the beach which is weird. I guess I imagined this was a resort for couples, but obviously that was an incorrect assumption. Considering I haven’t exactly seen that many other guests since arriving, it’s an honest mistake.
A little blonde girl, about five years old, runs past me with a bucket swinging in her hand. She stops, turns and looks up at me, her little forehead creased in curiosity. A sense of déjà vu takes over and I pause, trying to figure out where I’ve seen her before.
I crouch down. “What’s your name?”
“Tessa.”
I point at my chest. “That’s my name too.”
Her nose crinkles in delight.
“Tessie?” A woman, the girl’s mother based on the same blonde hair, wanders over. “Don’t run off,” she says, taking the girl’s hand and pulling her in the direction of a big beach umbrella and a blanket where a man is lounging reading a book.
[Invitation to Eden 24.0] How to Tempt a Tycoon Page 20
