She was on her own.
She located the chocolate chips. The bag had been opened. Suzanna remembered that her mother used to give them chocolate chips as a treat when she and Erinn were little.
No wonder Lizzy stopped eating kale!
With not enough chips and no nutmeg, Suzanna realized she’d have to run out to the store herself. She stuck her head in at the Nook to let Eric know she was going out. She was relieved to see Eric was alone but disappointed that he didn’t comment on her makeup and new blouse. She thought about taking her bike but realized that if she ran into her mother and Lizzy, she’d rather walk with them, so she set out on foot.
She passed Donell but he didn’t speak to her. That’s odd, Suzanna thought. He was busy tying raffia around strands of sage. Perhaps he hadn’t seen her. She had her mind on Blu and didn’t realize she was walking by Mr. Clancy’s Courtyard.
“Suzanna,” Rio called from the courtyard.
The voice was disembodied but she knew it was his. Why pretend that she didn’t hear it? She stopped dead in her tracks. Rio came down the steps and closed the gap between them in seconds.
“Shall we walk?” he said.
At first, she thought he must have meant, “Shall we dance?” but realized that was ridiculous. They were on the Beach Walk. She nodded and started walking. He fell into step with her. Apparently, “Shall we walk?” did not include “Shall we talk?” because Rio said nothing. They continued down the Beach Walk in silence. Suzanna felt the electric charge she always experienced when he was near, but confusion was ruining the moment. Finally, Rio took her arm and led her to an empty playground. He leaned against the slide but still didn’t say anything. Suzanna tried to find her voice. She really wished she had one of those clipped, disdainful English accents she’d heard on Downton Abbey. That would be just the ticket right now. But she only had her own voice to rely on and even that was iffy. She was afraid if she opened her mouth right now, her voice would come out wobbly or whiny. So she just stayed silent.
Rio wanted to talk? Then he could talk. Suzanna, of course, had imagined this moment since he’d come back to town. Actually, she’d imagined versions of it since he’d left Venice the first time. Variations on a theme: him telling her how much he missed her. How wrong he was to go. How he was in love with her. She also had rehearsed her part. Laughing at him while flashing her wedding ring in his face. She toyed with the idea of calling him “buster,” but feared that might not translate into Spanish and would just sound as though she’d forgotten his name.
As she watched his handsome profile looking out to sea, her heart softened. If he realized his mistake, she should take pity on him. It was too late but he would mend, just as she had done. Maybe she would introduce him to Blu.
“Suzanna,” he finally said, picking up her hand and gently caressing her fingers. “I made so many mistakes.”
Suzanna knew she could not speak. That wobbly voice was begging to come up. She could hear it in her throat. She waited, hoping she seemed mysterious and slightly bored instead of on the verge of hysteria.
“So many mistakes.” He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe the pain he’d put her through. “I am happy to have my studio. I am happy to be helping those children. But I came back for you.”
He kissed the back of her hand.
“Rio,” she said softly, not trusting herself to say anything else.
“I’m in Alcoholics Anonymous and I am here to apologize to you. To make amends. It is step nine.”
Suzanna prepared to float away, but instead lost her equilibrium. Luckily, she was standing in front of a swing set and she plunked gracelessly onto a swing. Rio put his hand on the chain and swayed her gently. Apparently, he had said what he needed to say and it was her turn.
“You’re in the twelve-step program?” Suzanna asked.
“Sí,” Rio said. “As I say. Amends. Step nine. You know it?”
“I know it,” Suzanna said. “Everybody in Los Angeles knows step nine. Everyone is either apologizing—or being apologized to—in this town.”
“Do I understand you accept my apology?”
“Yes,” Suzanna said. “I mean, no. I mean . . . what exactly are you apologizing for?”
“I treated you badly,” Rio said.
“That’s true,” Suzanna said.
“I did not take your feelings into account.”
“Can’t argue with that,” Suzanna said.
“I was selfish,” Rio said.
“Yep,” she said.
Although in her imagination they were usually naked, she had pictured this scene a thousand times: the reunion, the contrite “It was me, not you.” But now that it was happening, she felt surprisingly unmoved. What was wrong here?
Suzanna knew that he was saying all the right things. Then she realized: There was no passion. Was she just a name on a list of people he’d been thoughtless to? She turned to look at him. He was now sitting in the swing beside her and she could only see his profile.
“Did you apologize to Lauren?” Suzanna asked.
Lauren was the woman with whom Rio had run off to New Zealand. He shook his head.
“I brought no harm to Lauren,” he said.
Suzanna wondered if that meant he hadn’t used her, that somehow his connection with Lauren was more real, but decided this conversation was tough enough as it was.
Suzanna settled on: “Why apologize to me?”
Rio shrugged, but still didn’t turn to look at her.
“When I was a boy in Costa Rica, I had to take care of my mother. My father left when I was six. My mother and I were all alone. I started dancing because an instructor in our city needed boys in the classroom, and he paid me to come in whenever there were too many ladies. I was tall. I picked up the dance steps quickly and made good money. After I grew up, I didn’t need the dance instructor to pay me anymore. There were always women ready to pay me to be their partner.”
Suzanna winced. This apology might be working for Rio, but now Suzanna just wanted it over with.
“But I always took care of my mother,” Rio said. Suzanna could feel his flashing eyes fastening on her and she looked directly at him. “When she died, I just started moving around, taking jobs in studios and nightclubs, meeting women. My life was not always honorable, Suzanna, and one day, I knew that had to stop. Not just the drinking, but the running away from everything—and the womanizing.”
Suzanna asked, “What made you stop?”
She steeled herself, sure the answer was going to be “Lauren.” But she had to know.
“You made me stop,” Rio said.
“Me?”
Suzanna tightened her grip on the swing. She faced forward again. His intensity was too much for her. She couldn’t believe that her dream seemed to be coming true after all.
“You are a pure spirit, Suzanna,” Rio said. “Women have thrown themselves at me my whole life, so your attention was nothing new. . . .”
Dreams take strange turns.
“But for the first time in my life, I realized I had hurt someone. Hurt someone deeply. When I would go to sleep at night, I would see your eyes looking at me, wanting me to be a better man.”
She felt that powerful desire welling up inside her—that urge that only Rio brought out. Should she tell him that she never once wanted him to be a better man? It occurred to her that perhaps this was a new come-on technique. She could only hope.
“And so,” Rio continued, “I am now a better man. Suzanna, I want you and my sainted mother to be proud of me.”
Speaking her name in the same sentence with “my sainted mother” was like a bucket of ice water poured over her head. She stood up.
“It’s OK, Rio,” Suzanna said. “I forgive you.”
Suzanna didn’t remember what he said next or what she said next. As she walked back into the Bun, she realized she’d somehow gone to the store and bought nutmeg and chocolate chips. She had absolutely no idea what to make of Rio’s c
onfession.
She knew brooding time was over; she had a busy day ahead of her. For that, she was grateful. In the hallway that separated the Bun from the Nook, she saw the Baby Jogger and smiled. Lizzy and her mother were home. Just having them there would help her get over the sting of Rio’s words.
Suzanna turned into the Bun. She had to go through the dining room to get to the kitchen, but she stopped dead in her tracks. Eric, her mother, Bernard, and Christopher were all seated in the dining room. Conversation had ceased as soon as she entered. Suzanna quickly shot a glance at the corner of the room, where Lizzy and Piquant were wrestling with a chew toy. Was she so very late? She looked at her watch; no, she had been gone fewer than forty minutes. Did they discover her rendezvous with Rio? She realized that had been nothing but an innocent encounter, one that the group would probably praise rather than condemn.
“Hi, guys,” she said.
Wordlessly, Eric held up a pink sheet of paper. She wasn’t close enough to read it, but it looked like some sort of flyer, with a black-and-white picture and some large text. She moved closer. Eric obviously wasn’t about to explain.
He handed it over silently.
A gasp escaped Suzanna’s lips as she stared down at the flyer. The word DANGER was written across the top and below was a picture of Suzanna in the courtyard, sprawling on the ground after being tripped by the tree roots. The bottom of the flyer was full of heated words explaining that the tree was a danger to the city and that the tree huggers who were trying to save it were putting lives at risk.
Suzanna stared at the page. What could she say?
I’ve always hated flyers?
While it wasn’t her fault she’d tripped, she shouldn’t have been visiting Rio in the first place. Would Eric be angry? It wasn’t exactly infidelity, but it wasn’t exactly innocent on her part, either. She met his eyes.
CHAPTER 19
VIRGINIA
Suzanna had always loved her spacious apartment but ever since the flyer of her sprawling on the cement courtyard had come to everyone’s attention, the place seemed minuscule. Virginia tried to stay out of the way, making sure Piquant and Lizzy were both kept happy, distracted, and quiet.
Virginia felt sorry for Suzanna, who really was caught off guard by the unhappy quartet in her tea shop. Bernard and Christopher felt she had dealt Cause Courtyard a mighty blow, and Eric felt she had chosen a side. Virginia thought the men were being unreasonable. It wasn’t as if Suzanna had taken the picture and plastered flyers all over the neighborhood. Virginia had her own concerns. Although she did have a soft spot in her heart for the tree and for the valiant warriors who fought for its survival, that glass of wine with Mr. Clancy had opened her eyes to his side of things. And now that Suzanna had taken a tumble it seemed even more possible that the tree was a hazard.
Virginia had to stay impartial. While it was flattering that both Bernard and Mr. Clancy were paying attention to her, she knew that it would not be fair to pick a side based on her attraction to either man. Virginia could call on her years of teaching at the university for strength. She’d spent years in the presence of attractive students, both men and women, who were used to getting their way. They arrived on campus sure they could charm their way into an easy A. She had always been able to stay clear-eyed about a term paper no matter how adorable the student or elaborate the excuse.
Martin was not always as tough as she was and they both knew it. If he hadn’t been married to Virginia, word would have spread around campus that Professor Martin Wolf was a soft touch. His classes filled with students looking for an easy pass. Virginia prided herself on keeping him on the straight and narrow. Both Professors Wolf were highly regarded teachers with reputations for being firm but fair. Virginia had to keep those skills sharp! She wished Martin were here to talk to, but that desire only lasted for a second. Would he really want to discuss the possibility of one or two pending romances? She thought not.
Her cell phone rang. She looked down to see a photo of Erinn on her screen. When she had first arrived in Venice, Suzanna had commandeered Virginia’s cell phone and added identifying pictures to the phone numbers of family members. Virginia found it disconcerting, but Suzanna was so pleased with herself, she let it go.
“Hello, dear,” Virginia said.
“Mother, I need your help. The press is surrounding the house.”
“Oh, I heard about that!” Virginia said, grateful for the chance to switch gears. “Eric mentioned that Blu seemed a little unnerved by all the attention.”
“There isn’t enough attention in the world to unnerve Blu. Besides, the newspeople—if you can call them that—aren’t here for Blu anyway. That’s all in her head.”
“I don’t understand.”
Virginia could hear a long-suffering sigh on the other end of the line. Erinn had been heaving this sigh since she was a girl. That sound used to drive Virginia crazy, but now she found herself vaguely amused by it.
“They are here for the rabbits, Mother. Haven’t you seen the videos on YouTube?”
“I’m not a huge fan of YouTube. And, frankly, I’m surprised you are!”
“I’m not!” Erinn said, sounding as if her mother were calling her integrity into question. “But when your yard is full of camera people and photographers, you tend to investigate.”
“I know, dear, I’m sorry; I was only teasing.”
“Now is not the time for levity, Mother.”
Virginia wondered if there was ever a time for levity in Erinn’s world.
“How can I help you?”
“Cary finally found a shoe factory where we can shoot. I need you to come up here right away.”
“Please,” Virginia said reflexively. She was glad she hadn’t said, “What’s the magic word?”
“Please,” Erinn said, equally automatically.
Virginia could hear Eric and Suzanna talking. A couple didn’t need a mother/mother-in-law rattling around during tense times. This would be a perfect time to get out of the apartment!
“I’ll be there in ten minutes,” Virginia said.
“Use the back gate.”
Virginia drove north on Ocean Avenue. Once she was on the main drag of Ocean Avenue it was a straight shot for the mile or so to Erinn’s house. She could see Erinn’s place for several blocks. The press was indeed camped out around the front gate. The hedges were high and the gate itself was solid wood, so the press looked bored rather than hungry for a story. Even so, parking was hard to come by in Santa Monica on the best of days, so she parked a few blocks away and walked up the back alley. When Erinn’s gate was in sight, Virginia slowed her pace, making sure there were no paparazzi in sight. She spied one lone cameraman skulking about half a block away. Virginia determined that she wouldn’t cause any alarm; she would appear to be an older woman out for a walk. As she closed the distance between herself and the gate, she could tell by the man’s body language that she had caught his interest. She sped up. He sped up. As she reached the gate, she heard him call out, “Virginia? Virginia? Wait a second.”
Virginia panicked. Who was this man? How did he know her name? What was going on?
She reached for the latch on the gate. She figured that it was probably locked but she jiggled it anyway. The cameraman was so close she could see that he had a coffee stain on his shirt. Suddenly, the gate opened and a hand pulled her inside. She could hear the lock snapping back into place and the man’s plaintive voice on the other side.
“Virginia, I know you’re in there!” he called.
Virginia turned to face her savior. It was Dymphna.
“Erinn said you’d be coming to the back gate,” Dymphna said in a strained voice. “I’ve been listening for you.”
Dymphna guided her into the guesthouse and put a kettle on for tea.
“What the hell is happening?” Virginia asked. She was not one to swear but she was shaken to her running shoes.
“Erinn figured word would get to the other reporters in a matte
r of minutes that you came in through the back gate and they’ll all leave the front of the house. That would give Erinn and Blu time to escape to Erinn’s car and get over to the shoe factory. It probably worked or we would have heard something. That Erinn is very smart.”
“Why would anyone care if I’m here?” Virginia asked. She realized her legs were shaking and she sat down.
Dymphna put the tea on the little café table in front of Virginia but did not sit herself. Instead, she walked over to the loveseat and picked up her iPad. She brought it back to the table.
“This is why,” Dymphna said. She scrolled and swiped until she found what she was looking for. She handed the iPad to Virginia.
Tea was forgotten as Virginia watched herself chasing Spot down the Beach Walk as the rabbit pursued the hapless man and his dog.
“Now the rabbits are getting all this attention, and it’s not good for them,” Dymphna continued. “They’re distraught.”
Dymphna walked into the yard. Virginia took a quick sip of tea and followed her. There was plenty of privacy thanks to the hedges and gate, but she could hear the ladies and gentlemen of the press on the other side of the hedge. They weren’t loud, but they were definitely there. Virginia also noticed the yard itself was looking a little worse for wear, with bald and yellow spots dotting the entire back lawn.
Dymphna walked over to the row of cages. Virginia saw one of the rabbits hop over to the front of its cage as Dymphna approached. Dymphna reached out and stroked the rabbit’s fur.
“See what I mean?” Dymphna asked.
Virginia studied the rabbits, trying to think of something soothing to say. They all looked fine to her. Some of them were drinking water, others eating, others thinking their rabbit thoughts, as far as Virginia could tell.
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