by Molly Prince
- X -
Chapter 5: Carrie
I dreamed of wolves.
They circled my prone body, eerily quiet on padded feet. Yet I wasn’t afraid. It didn’t feel as if they meant me any harm. A lone wolf broke off from the circling pack and approached me. It was a magnificent animal. Strong, powerful, its hulking gray form looming over me, so close I could feel the warmth of its breath on my face.
“How are you here? You shouldn’t be here. Who sent you?”
I heard the voice in my head as the wolf looked me in the eyes. I recognized those eyes, those hazy, amber eyes. I’d seen them before. I recognized the voice too.
“James?”
He’d been barking similar questions at me before things began to go haywire in the kitchen. It was as if something about me had driven him crazy with lust. But it wasn’t just him. Whatever it was that had us pawing at each other’s bodies had affected me too. But I couldn’t answer his questions. I had no idea what was going on either.
The wolf just stared at me, panting. The heat of its breath warming my skin. And that warmth spread. I could feel it moving down my body, leaving an electric tingle in its wake. Down to my bare breasts where my nipples responded by standing at attention. And down, down, down to the cleft between my legs. I felt ripe. I felt like I was in heat. What the hell was happening and why was I naked?
“You were right about the door James. You were right. Do you think they’ll take it out of my deposit?”
“You shouldn’t be here. You’re not a… what are you?”
I had no idea what the Jimmy-wolf was on about. This was my dream, why shouldn’t I be here? And in my dream I was more turned on than I’d ever been in my life. There was something unnatural about it. It was more than just being turned on. It was as if my body had been tuned to a whole new frequency of desire.
I saw the world in a way I had never seen it before. I saw scents all around me, swirling like mist. The musty breath of the wolf above me a mix of loneliness, fear and a fierce need to protect… to protect me.
It was hard to speak. The swirling potpourri of scents overwhelmed my senses. Strongest of all, from my own body. A heady mix of womanly desire and animal lust. I fought against it, but it was so hard. I wanted… I wanted… this animal that loomed above me.
I chewed my lip and shifted position, spreading my legs just a little to invite… No! What the hell was I thinking? It was a goddamn animal.
I fought to deny my own desires and as I did so the mist around me vanished. The circling wolves fading from view like a forgotten dream as my senses dulled, only to be replaced by a throbbing pain in my temple.
- X -
I was woozy and my head hurt, but I know what I saw. I can’t explain it, but I know I saw it.
We had been dragged outside and were lying in the dirt in front of the cabin. James lay on the ground. He looked like he was hurt pretty bad. The wolves circled him. Four, maybe five.
And then the big white one stood up and turned into a naked old guy.
I say old. He had long white hair and his skin looked like parchment that had been left out in the sun for a few hundred years. But he was still buff. Which was great and all... except a few seconds ago he had been a wolf.
I was still dreaming. I had to be. But it didn’t feel like I was. For a start my head hurt too much.
“Get up Jimmy,” The old man lashed out with his foot. Catching James square in the ribs. I winced as he cried out in pain. It’s not like I knew James particularly well, but he didn’t strike me as the sort of man who cried out in pain lightly.
When I tried to make a move towards him, my vision swam. I heard a growl and turned to find the snarling head of a wolf inches from mine. It’s breath stank of meat and decay and, in case I didn’t get the message, it growled again. Don’t move. I got it.
“Get up Jimmy you fucking traitor or I’ll give your fat bitch to the pack while you watch and then I’ll gut you myself.”
James pulled himself to his feet and spat something thick and red onto the ground. That didn’t look good. That really didn’t look good.
“How dare you? How dare you take it upon yourself to trespass on my territory and hunt one of my boys? Is there any reason I shouldn’t rip your worthless traitor heart out right now?”
“Your boys?” There was a distinct wheezing sound when Jimmy spoke. Something loose and rattling in his chest. He spat again. More blood on the ground at his feet. “One of your boys took it upon themselves to wander off the reservation and have a little fun. She was sixteen. She was just a child.”
“Mountain lions. They’ll blame it on mountain lions. They always do. We’re hunters. We hunt. Sometimes people get in the way.”
“You don’t fucking get it do you Joseph? It’s not like that anymore. They have satellites. They have DNA tests. They have a big computer that keeps track of us. They know where we are. They know who we are. We survive because they let us survive and if you can’t keep your pack in line they send me to do your job for you.”
The old man laughed and the wolves that prowled around us joined in with a cacophony of growls and yelps.
“And what then? Because there’s no way in hell I’m going to let a traitorous lapdog do my job for me. What happens when I send you back to them in pieces?” Said the old man.
Jimmy slumped as if all the fight had gone out of him.
“Then they send the helicopters to rain down fire and death on your precious mountain and burn your pack to the fucking ground. Remember California? They’ll blame it on wildfires. They always do.”
Jimmy’s words visibly stung the old man.
“I remember California Jimmy. I remember how my daughter died in agony while you stood by and watched. You could have come to me. You could have begged for forgiveness and maybe, maybe you’d have found it. But instead you went to work for them. The ones that did this. You might as well be pissing on her corpse. Every breath you take shames every one of us. Every breath you take should be your last.”
I saw James clench his fists, the muscles beneath his arms rippling unnaturally, as if they were about to explode.
“I’ll take care of Travis,” the old man continued, “he’s my problem and I’ll deal with him the old way. And when I’m done I’ll send your masters his pelt. They can wear him as a coat for all I care.”
It was James’ turn to laugh, “he’ll take you apart old man. You’ll be dead and your sorry excuse for a pack will be his. And they’ll all die. Every bitch. Every pup. They’ll all die because you were too proud to let me help.”
“You’ll save them? Like you saved your own pack? Like you saved my daughter? Go home Jimmy. Go back to your masters with your tail between your legs. Roll over and let them tickle your belly like the dog you are. I’ll do what needs to be done. I’ll take care of Travis. You tell them that. And you tell them that if I ever see your face on this mountain again I’m going to tear it off.”
James turned to face me for a second. He didn’t look well. His face was pale and specks of blood dotted his lips. Every time he breathed in I could see him wince in pain.
“Sure Jimmy. Take the human bitch with you. Take her back to that nice comfy cabin, with it’s nice comfy beds. Pretend you’re people for a while. But if you're not off my mountain tomorrow... you’re both dead.”
James sunk to his knees. His breath coming in short ragged gasps. So much for tomorrow. I was pretty sure Jimmy wouldn’t last an hour without some urgent medical attention.
“Oh and Jimmy... I’m taking your bike. That’s a real nice bike.”
James didn’t resist as Joseph dug around in his pocket and retrieved his keys. The wolves padded into the night as the old man, still naked, kickstarted Jimmy’s bike and drove off without looking back.
- X -
I put a hand to my head and winced in pain. There was no blood, but I was going to have a nasty bruise. I felt a little woozy, but didn’t think I was concussed. I pulled myself to m
y knees and crawled over to James who had collapsed onto the ground.
The rise and fall of his chest indicated he was still alive and I was surprised to hear that his breathing sounded a little clearer. As I approached he pulled himself up and turned to face me.
“Are you alright?” He asked.
“Am I alright? You sounded like you were dying five minutes ago.”
He brought his hand to his chest and winced as he probed at his ribs. And then he grinned.
“I’m a tough cookie. I heal fast.”
“Sure, whatever you say.” I sat back down as I tried to process everything that had just happened. “What the hell is going on? Who was that man? He was a wolf. A white wolf. That’s not possible. And the one from earlier? The black one. Was that this Travis guy everyone was talking about?”
“You had a pretty hard knock there. You’re probably seeing all sorts of stuff. He wasn’t a wolf. Just a crazy old man.”
It was a weak attempt at protest. He didn’t sound like he had the energy to convince himself, let alone me.
“I know what I saw. And what was with that dream? You were a wolf too.”
“That… I can’t explain that. You shouldn’t have been there. You can’t go there. It doesn’t make any sense.”
“And why was I naked?”
“That one’s on you. You choose your own form in the dream and you chose to be naked.” He was grinning again and despite all that had just happened I found myself blushing furiously.
“And yeah… yeah I think they’re probably going to take the door out of your deposit.”
- X -
Chapter 6: Carrie
We supported each other as we made our way through the splintered door and back into the cabin. James was looking healthier by the minute. He wasn’t kidding when he said he healed fast.
“There’s probably a first aid kit in here somewhere. I really have no idea what to do with a first aid kit but it really feels like I should be doing something,” I said.
“I’m OK. Really. It probably looked worse than it was… and like I said. I heal fast. I could do with a shower though.”
Bullshit. No one heals that fast. No one human anyway.
“You’re like him aren’t you? Like them. You’re a…” I couldn’t say it. It was crazy and I refused to say that word out loud.
“I’m like them. But I’m nothing like them. But right now I’m tired and I’m filthy and I still have a lot to do. So first I’m going to have a long hot shower. And then we’re going to get you all packed up and you’ll drive back down the mountain. Back to civilization where you’ll be safe and sound and you can forget you ever met me.”
He turned and headed towards the bedroom and I just stood there watching as I tried to figure out if there was any way I could ever forget this man. And then I remembered that my suitcase was still open on the bed. My suitcase overflowing with tricks and treats for a dirty weekend. Sure he’d already seen it, but it was still embarrassing and I really didn’t want him to take a closer look.
But it was too late. As I entered the room he stood looking at the contents with a raised eyebrow and an infuriating smirk.
“Yeah, that’s ah… an interesting collection of… stuff you’ve brought along. I can’t help wondering how you planned to, well, I mean the lingerie sure,” he glanced at me then back at the suitcase, “I guess sometimes you just want to look… and I’m sure you would. But those handcuffs? Kind of kinky, and I’m down with that, but how were you planning on…”
He was teasing me and I really wasn’t in the mood. I stormed over to the bed and clumsily closed the suitcase.
“I wasn’t planning on coming alone OK? I wasn’t planning on it, but that’s how it ended up. I wasn’t planning on coming alone, but I did because my fiance, my ex-fiance, is an asshole OK? And now you’re being an asshole. Maybe all men are assholes, I’ve yet to see much evidence to the contrary. Except I’m pretty sure you’re not a man. You’re not a man and that scares the hell out of me. And you know what else scares the hell out of me?”
I didn’t give him a chance to reply. So much had happened so fast and I was scared and confused and even though the tears were streaming down my face I couldn’t stop.
“Crazy old men with their wangs hanging out scare me and all this talk about California and fires and death scare me. And… and stupid dreams where everything smelled weird and I wanted to get it on with a wolf. But that’s not the worst part.”
My breath was coming in gasping sobs now as I struggled to get the words out.
“The worst part is that I’m pretty sure you’ve got no plans to come back down the mountain with me. I don’t think you work that way. I think you’re going to get yourself killed by that old man, or by this Travis character or any of those other freakishly large wolves that are sniffing around here. And when you do a part of me is going to die with you. And that doesn’t make any sense because I’ve only just met you and to be honest I’m not sure I even like you that much and… and…”
I would have thought I was all cried out by now, but it was a flood. My face a blotchy mess of tears as I struggled to speak in complete sentences. James wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. His body was warm against mine. His big strong arms reassuringly protective. He smelled of dirt and blood. He smelled familiar. He smelled as if I’d known him all my life.
I felt his heart beat. Slow and steady. His protective presence calmed me. I breathed slowly as the tears dried up and when I could speak again I whispered to him, “and even though I’ve only just met you it feels like there's some kind of freaky bond between us and I don’t want you to die before I figure out what that means.”
He held me in silence for a few minutes more, the steady beating of his heart continuing to calm me until I felt completely drained of all the fear and anger and confusion.
“Yeah I know what you mean,” he released me and turned to head for the shower, “I feel it too.”
- X -
I just want to be clear about something. I like to think I’m a sexual person. I enjoy sex and, as the contents of my suitcase might suggest, I’m up for a bit of an adventure. Mitch, on the other hand, was a missionary man. He enjoyed it well enough, but for him sex was a means to an end, rather than some kind of uncharted territory, ripe for exploration. I tried to coax more out him, and this weekend was pretty much my last roll of the dice in that respect.
Deep down inside I wondered if he’d done me a favor by calling off the engagement. I thought he was everything I ever wanted and we’d just work through our differences in this area. But ultimately would I have been unhappy? Unfulfilled?
And despite the fact that I was trying to inject a little adventure into our lives, I wasn’t really the adventurous type myself. I wanted to be, but most of the time I was fairly uncomfortable in my own skin. It’s hard to put on seductive lingerie when you bought it online from a store for plus-size women. To put it on and stand there in all your plus-size glory. It’s hard to find the courage to show off your body when you’ve spent most of your life trying to hide it. It’s hard to put yourself on display when you can’t count the number of times you’ve cried yourself to sleep wishing you were someone else
I’m not trying to engineer a little pity party here. I just need to make it clear that while what happened next might not be a big deal for some people, it was for me.
When I stood alone in the bedroom and stripped out of my clothes it was not something I did lightly. When I joined James in the shower, it took just about all the courage I could muster.
- X -
I hadn’t realized just how big he was. Not massive like some kind of bodybuilder. Just big. He leaned forward against the far wall of the shower, head bowed, as the water poured over his back. His shoulders were impossibly broad, like some kind of supporting beam, and off them, his arms and torso knotted with lean, dense muscle.
Fresh bruises where Joseph had kicked him were already fading, but there wer
e other marks. Older scars that spoke of a life far removed from the safety and comfort I was used to. The most dramatic of these, a webbing a gnarled scar tissue that covered most of his right shoulder blade. He had been burned, badly. He had mentioned fire. Something to do with California and helicopters. Was that where he had been burned?
I tentatively placed the palm of one hand against the mark. My splayed fingers didn’t even cover it. He didn’t respond. He didn’t even move.
I wanted to know more about him. I wanted to know what he was and where he came from. But that could wait. Right now I just wanted him to survive whatever it was he had planned. I wanted him to survive and return to me. I needed to give him a reason to come back. Perhaps even a reason to live.
“You don’t have to be alone.”
He grunted but didn’t reply.
“You don’t have to be alone right now.”
I placed my other hand on his other shoulder. The water, hot enough to make me gasp, ran in streams from his body to mine. I slid my hands downwards, slowly, feeling the shifting knots of muscle beneath the skin. As I reached the small of his back he sighed and I felt some of the tension leave him.
I returned to his shoulders and pressed a little firmer as I made my way down his broad canvas of his back, this time coming to rest at the top of his ass. His frankly quite magnificent ass. I had a moment of self doubt. He was, for all his scars and smirks, an attractive man. He was so far out of my league it wasn’t funny. The rational part of me was already building walls in preparation for the inevitable rejection. And yet I still clung to the idea that there was something, some kind of connection between us, that went above and beyond the physical.
