Startled, he stepped closer. “Don’t you remember me?”
“Should I?”
His heart squeezed in his chest. She doesn’t remember me, he thought. How long had it been that she couldn’t remember?
He glanced around for the first time realizing he was somewhere he didn’t recognize. The landscape around him was deserted—no trees, no buildings, no people—only a gravel road and Ashley.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Clyde. I was your guardian.”
“Oh,” she mumbled. “I’m sorry. I can’t remember.”
His chest began to ache.
“When were you my guardian?”
“When you were in London. I brought you to your sisters,” he replied.
“My sisters?” she asked, puzzled.
He nodded, ignoring the dread creeping inside him.
She shook her head. “I’m sorry I can’t remember. So you knew me before?”
He nodded again.
“Can you tell me about my life, the one before this one? I can’t remember.”
“What do you mean?” He scanned his surroundings again confused by the nothingness consuming him. “Where are we?”
She smiled sadly then answered, “In limbo.”
His eyes widened, the dread he felt turning to full-fledged panic. “What do you mean?”
“You’re an angel, right?” she asked disregarding his question.
“Yes, Ashley. I was your guardian angel.”
“I wish I remembered things about my life…” Her voice trailed off. “I don’t remember anything here. No one else can either.”
“Here?”
“Yes, in limbo.”
“In limbo between where, Ashley?” he asked, anxiety inside him overwhelming.
“You are an angel. Don’t you know limbo is the place between heaven and hell?”
He gasped, swallowed the lump in his throat then said, “You aren’t dead, Ashley.” He shook his head then said adamantly, “You can’t be in limbo.”
She smiled sadly. “But I am, Clyde.”
His jaw clenched. “No, you can’t be. You are an immortal. I left you with your sisters. You can’t be…” His eyes welled with tears.
She closed the distance between them, grabbed his hand as if attempting to comfort him. “Don’t be upset. You can’t change the past.” She paused, looking away from him lost in thought. Finally, she met his gaze again and said, “I am dead, Clyde. All I can remember about my life is how I died.”
****
Clyde awoke panting and drenched in sweat. The fear that had enveloped him remained as if it’d been real. He bolted off the couch, intent on finding Ashley. He stopped himself when he spotted her two feet away from him, wearing blue pajamas. Her brows were drawn and her expression concerned.
“Are you okay?”
Staring at her, relief swarmed inside of him, partially diffusing the terror the dream had caused. She’s here. She’s not dead, not in limbo. She’s safe, he consoled himself.
“Clyde, are you okay?” she asked again, taking a step in his direction.
He couldn’t summon the words to respond instead he stared at her blankly.
“I heard you…I didn’t mean to intrude…I just thought—”
“I’m fine,” he managed, wiping the sweat from his face. “Just a bad dream.”
“Do you want me to get you some water?”
“No, I’m fine.” He didn’t need water. He needed a touch, a single touch to make sure the dream was just a dream, and she was reality.
“Are you sure?” she asked, taking another step toward him.
He nodded and closed the distance between them. Grabbing her hand, he brought it to his face and trailed her fingers down his cheek. The simple touch cleared the deep-seated fear his dream stirred.
“Yes, Ash. I’m fine,” he said then kissed the back of her hand. “You should get some rest.”
She nodded. Reluctantly, he released her hand then hesitantly, she turned and walked away.
****
The next morning, Ashley awoke tired. Clyde’s nightmare had woken her in the middle of the night. She heard him growl and thrash in his sleep. A bad dream, he’d explained. Obviously, but she couldn’t understand what could terrify an angel to such a degree when he’d probably seen everything bad and good on earth. Before that, she had slept fitfully all night worrying about him, her sister and the Guardians.
She dragged herself out of bed at nine a.m. knowing she wouldn’t sleep any longer. Showered and dressed, she stepped out of her room and headed toward the living room. She spotted Clyde as handsome as ever reading the newspaper. He had showered and shaved and seemed relaxed or more so than the last time she had seen him.
“Good morning,” he said without meeting her eyes.
Letting out a deep breath, she replied, “Good morning. Did everyone get back safe?”
“Yes.”
She nodded and hesitated, waiting for him to say something, anything, or join her and the rest for breakfast. When he made no move toward her, she walked toward the elevators.
Finally, he spoke. “Where are you going?”
“I have training today. I was going to make breakfast before.”
“Right,” he said but remained seated.
She bit her tongue to prevent herself from saying anything else. As the elevator doors parted, she stepped inside wondering what had changed.
****
After breakfast, Jenna and Lucas led Ashley to the third-floor gymnasium. The entire floor was the gym, lined with floor mats and stocked with state-of-the-art workout equipment. Swords hung at the back end of the wall, ten punching bags next to them. At the other end, stood dummies serving as targets. In the middle, there was a large empty space where she assumed they engaged in mock combat.
There she spotted Cain, Benjamin and Jacob. Cain and Benjamin were laughing at something. Jacob stood still, not sharing in the joke. As usual, the air hummed with his intensity, and despite the fact she had spent several hours in his presence, she had never seen him smile.
“Hey, Ash,” Cain said, grinning. “You ready?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Don’t be nervous. You’ll do fine. Both of your sisters picked this up quickly. I’m sure you’ll do the same,” Cain said.
“Ash,” Lucas said softly, and she shifted her attention toward him. “You’ll stand in the middle of the room. We’ll spread out. When I say attack, we’ll run toward you and you try to conjure your power.”
“But…” She bit back her comment. This was practice after all.
Glancing behind her at the elevator doors, she longingly wondered if Clyde would show, wishing she had his support. His presence gave her courage. Until now, he had guided her through this transition. She assumed for that reason alone he’d be there. When several moments passed and he didn’t show, her heart plummeted, knowing he wouldn’t come.
“Don’t worry. You’ll be fine. Try to remember how you felt when you were attacked, when you used your power. Before you know it, it’ll be like a second nature,” Jenna said.
Ashley walked to the middle of the room and closed her eyes recalling the way she’d felt the last time she used her powers. Terror.
“Attack!” Lucas yelled, and she immediately opened her eyes.
Fear seeped inside her and clung as the demons rushed toward her at immortal speed freezing her.
“Stop!” Lucas yelled.
The demons halted. She glanced in Jacob’s direction noticing the scowl on his face.
“Ash?” Jenna said. Ashley turned to face her sister, concern expressed on Jenna’s face. “Are you okay?”
“I just don’t think I can do this,” she whispered.
“You can. You’ve done it before. You can do it again,” Jenna assured her.
“Attack!” Lucas bellowed again.
A second later, Jacob materialized an inch from her face, the same menacing scowl marring his features. She flinched, and
he flew backward. Jenna used her power over the wind to cushion his fall.
Lucas, Cain and Benjamin halted, then Lucas turned to Jacob taking several steps toward him, each more threatening than the last. Tension swirled around him, the air nearly unbreathable.
Ashley’s gaze darted toward Jenna, who immediately walked to her side. “You okay?”
“Yeah, but—”
“Demons are empaths. They can feel what others do, kinda like we can feel each other. Sometimes, they communicate with one another by allowing their emotions to swirl around them, projecting it into each other or anyone else. They usually hide them because it fuels their demon. That’s also the reason they’re taught from a young age to control it. According to some, in battles it can create a disadvantage. Jacob believes the opposite.”
“Oh,” she muttered. “That explains a lot. But why—”
“Lucas is upset with him because he told him not to scare you.”
Ashley turned and shouted, “Lucas!”
Lucas turned toward her. When his eyes met hers, his expression softened, and the anger she sensed from him dissipated.
“I’m fine… I mean it worked. Don’t be mad at him.”
Lucas smiled and nodded.
Jenna wrapped her arm around her then whispered, “You’re great, Ash.”
They assumed their positions. Again Jacob appeared inches from her. His anger rippled off him and toward her in streams. She held up her hand instinctively and felt the wind push him away from her. Jenna again cushioned his fall.
“That’s great,” Lucas said. “This time try to push Cain, Benjamin and me away as well.”
When Lucas commanded them to attack, Jacob disappeared, but he didn’t reappear in front of her, instead she felt his anger as it swirled behind her and then she felt the heat of his hand grasping her arm. She turned and saw him, his grimace still in place. She used the power of the wind to fling him away then turned and spotted Cain, Benjamin and Lucas charging her. Instinctively, she lifted her arm. A layer of wind appeared between them and her. They tried to breach it but couldn’t. It was impenetrable.
Shocked by her ability, she gasped.
“That’s awesome, Ash,” Cain said, chuckling. “See I told you, you’d pick this up quickly.”
They continued to attack her, and Ashley continued to block their attempts. Jacob always surprised her appearing in a different spot, but his emotions gave him away each time. She felt them streaming off him and knew where he was the second he appeared near her. With each attempt to block, she became more and more comfortable and confident until it felt like second nature. Before every attempt, she tried to decide how much force she wanted to use in an effort to become accustomed to discerning and honing her ability over the wind. After several hours, she was exhausted and starved.
“I think we should break for lunch,” Jenna called out then headed toward her. “You’re doing a great job, Ash, really.”
“Thanks.”
With her mind no longer consumed with training, her thoughts drifted toward Clyde. He never showed.
They entered the elevator and headed toward the kitchen. Once there, she scanned the room, hoping to spot the angel who’d taken a hold of her mind, but he was nowhere in sight. She wondered if he’d eaten, then berated herself for her thoughts, knowing she shouldn’t think about him or worry about him.
Hoping to distract herself making lunch, she asked, “What do you guys want to eat?”
“You don’t need to worry, Ash,” Cain said. “I made sandwiches this morning.”
“You know you don’t have to cook, right?” Jenna asked taking a seat at the far end of the table beside Lucas.
“I know, but I like it. It relaxes me.”
“I get it. Feel the same way,” Cain added, smiling in her direction.
Ashley headed toward the kitchen behind Cain, helping him grab the sandwiches, then placing them on the dining table. They sat and ate together exchanging small talk.
“Ash, we can continue your training tomorrow,” Jenna said. “I figured you might want some free time to do whatever you want.”
“Okay.”
“If you want to continue practicing on your own, you can. You can try small stuff here and there. Like try spraying water in your face, or try using the wind to move an object,” Jenna explained. “Jocelyn and I have both created quakes before too, small ones. We can also control and create fire, but I wouldn’t try that unless you’ve got a fire extinguisher handy and you aim for the fireplace.”
“I definitely won’t try the fire.”
“I have to run a couple of errands with Lucas. Do you want to come?” Jenna asked then took a bite of her sandwich.
She hesitated unsure she wanted to intrude. They were mated and probably wanted privacy. “No, thanks. I think I’ll stay here catch a movie or something.”
“Okay.”
Once they finished lunch, everyone dispersed. She headed toward her room hoping to find Clyde, but he wasn’t there. She splashed some water in her face then headed toward the gymnasium again.
As the doors to the elevators parted, she knew she wouldn’t be alone. Jacob’s anger spiraled around her. Hesitantly, she stepped out and spotted him striking a punching bag in the far end of the gym. He immediately turned her way.
“Hi,” she said then closed the distance between them.
He stood still as stone and didn’t utter a word instead he glared, his eyes speaking volumes as his anger continued to simmer around her.
“Thank you for helping me today.”
He tilted his head slightly. His eyes traveled up and down her body, assessing her. They stopped when they met hers again.
“I hope you don’t mind me here. I wanted to practice.”
He shook his head, still his eyes locked on hers. She bit back the unsettling feeling churning inside her.
“Do you talk?” she asked out of pure curiosity.
He nodded, then turned away from her and quickly punched the bag in front of him. When he went to punch it again, she willed it to move before his fist connected. She gasped, impressed she had managed it on the first try. He turned toward her with a look of confusion marring his face then the sides of his mouth twitched as if biting back a smile.
“Okay,” he said. His voice was deep. “You got my attention. You want to try it again?”
She nodded. Without turning toward the bag, his fist slammed against it. His arm had been a blur. He then held up his hand so it wouldn’t crash into him.
“Too slow,” he taunted.
He tried it again, but this time, she used her power to move the bag toward him instead of away from him. It struck him but he didn’t stumble, didn’t flinch.
Maybe I shouldn’t have done that, she thought. Should I really encourage his anger?
Jacob turned to face her, and he did the unpredictable. He smiled. His face lit up, and she realized he had a lovely smile despite the fact he never did.
They repeated the exercise several times. He tried to punch the bag as she attempted to move it before he could. Half the time, he bested her and vice versa.
“Let’s try something else,” he said. “Go to the center of the room, close your eyes and then I’ll attack you.”
“Okay,” she agreed, thinking it would be too easy.
She walked to the center of the room and closed her eyes, as he had instructed. She focused her energy on the intensity streaming off him. It disappeared momentarily then reappeared behind her. With a thought, she used her power, flinging him away. A thump sounded behind her as his body hit the mat lining the floor then she opened her eyes and scolded herself for not thinking she could possibly hurt him. She sprinted toward him at immortal speed then kneeled beside him.
“I’m so sorry. I should have thought… Are you hurt?”
He stared at her for several seconds without a word. His brows then drew together in confusion, but his intensity never wavered.
Wondering how much angrier
he could get, she repeated, “Jake, are you okay?”
“I’m immortal, remember?” he said, without correcting her for calling him Jake instead of Jacob. He stood then held out his hand for her. She took it and rose to her feet.
They tried the same exercise several times. Each time, his emotions gave him away, and she flung him backward, using as little force as possible, so he wouldn’t land as hard.
“Let’s get some food.”
“You’re hungry?”
“Always hungry, and you should be, too. You barely ate breakfast or lunch.”
She was surprised he’d noticed. It was sweet, and yet his concern reminded her of Clyde, the last and only other man concerned about her eating habits.
“Come, I’ll take you out to eat somewhere.”
“Oh, that’s okay. I can cook for us,” she volunteered.
He shrugged. “Don’t you want to see some of the city?”
Her eyes lit up. It would be nice to get out of the building and see more of the city, maybe get her mind off of Clyde.
She agreed.
****
Jacob led her into a small burger joint assuring her they served the best burgers in town.
“What will it be?” he asked.
“Whatever you’re having,” she said.
Their food was placed in a paper bag. Jacob grabbed it as well as their drinks and led her out of the restaurant.
“Where are we going?” she asked, trailing behind him.
He stopped abruptly, waiting for her to catch up then said, “Central Park.”
They walked toward the park. Ashley watched Jacob cautiously as he scanned their surroundings. He led them away from everyone else then sat on the grass. She hesitated briefly then settled across from him.
“Thanks for bringing me out with you, lunch and helping me train.”
He tensed then his gaze drifted toward hers. “You’re welcome.” He then dug into the paper bag and handed her a cheeseburger.
She took a bite of the burger, realizing mid-swallow he watched her expectantly.
“So?” he asked.
She didn’t understand his question so she stared at him blankly.
“What do you think?”
“Oh, it’s delicious. Thanks again.” Scanning her surroundings, she took another bite.
Heavenly Desire Page 15
