"You want to steal his car again?" Crystal asked. "Oh, Brooke, no."
"Well, what did you have planned for tomorrow, Crystal, because if it's not a great idea, we're in a lot of danger," I told her. "He as much as told me so back there. What's your plan?"
"I don't know," she confessed. "I was hoping something would come to me tonight."
"Well, there isn't anything coming to you and we don't have much time to waste. This is what we have to do," I said holding up the keys.
"He'll have the police after us again," Raven said.
"I'm keeping this rope around me just the way he tied it. I'll show it to them and I'll tell them what else he wanted to do to me."
"What?" Raven asked.
"Don't ask," Crystal said, throwing a look at Butterfly. She thought a moment. "Okay, let's do it," she said. "Come on, Butterfly." She and Butterfly got out of the bed and put on their shoes.
I opened the door and listened. The three of them hovered behind me. It looked clear. Gordon was still asleep, I thought. Rather, I prayed. I nodded an all clear and then we moved with whisper steps to the wagon. I unlocked it and taking great care not to make too much noise, opened the doors. We all got in and I inserted the key. Raven put her hand on mine.
"Wait, Brooke. He's going to hear it start," she warned.
"Maybe not. He did a lot of drinking. I think he's dead to the world for now."
"I can't imagine his rage when he wakes up and discovers we've taken his car again," Crystal said. "Imagine what it will be like when we reveal his drugs are gone," I said. I looked at Raven. She took a deep breath and nodded. All of our eyes went to the door of Gordon's room.
I turned the key. The engine started. Gordon's door remained shut. Without turning on the lights, I backed out of our spot and slowly accelerated through the lot, Raven keeping her eyes on that fearful door.
"He didn't hear us," she said in a heavy whisper.
When we reached the entrance, I turned on the headlights and then I shot out and down the road. It was a very dark secondary road with no streetlights and very few houses. There were no road signs either. For the moment I had lost all sense of direction.
"My heart is beating so fast, I think I'm going to faint," Raven said.
I don't think any of us let out a breath for at least ten minutes. Darkness seemed to be closing in around us. Images of Gordon's ugly face close to mine back in that motel room flashed before me. I drove faster, squealing around turns, riding on the shoulder of the road, fighting to maintain control.
"What are we going to do?" Raven asked. "We don't have any money or the credit card or anything."
"I don't care," I said. "We've got to get away from him."
"Well, where are we going?" she followed, turning to look back at the motel as if she expected to see him running after us. Butterfly clung tightly to Crystal.
"Away," I said. "As fast as we can."
All could think of was putting as much distance as possible between us and Gordon. Whatever came after that had to be better. Didn't it?
15 A Desert Oasis
Our fear kept us under a veil of silence. The station wagon's headlights sliced away some of the darkness, but without houses and lit windows, other traffic and activity, we felt alone in the night, far from any sign of civilization. Trees towered like sentinels guarding the clearing sky. I felt as if I was driving us through a tunnel from one world into another. Soon, the tree line disappeared and was replaced with long, barren fields. Any houses we did see were dark or only vaguely lit, their inhabitants surely snug in their beds. When I gazed into the rearview mirror, I saw that Butterfly had fallen asleep in Crystal's arms. Raven had her head against the window, her eyes closed. We had all sunk deeply into a pool of numbness.
The terrain changed again, this time looking more rocky. The sky became even clearer, now with only occasional, thin, wispy clouds drifting across the stars. I was no longer driving fast. The tires hummed until the road turned rougher and we began to bounce more.
"Where are we?" Raven asked after a particularly rough bump shook the vehicle. "I don't know. I haven't seen a road sign for miles and miles," I said. "Crystal?"
"I don't have the map anymore. The last house was back about twenty or thirty minutes," she added.
"Something should come up soon," I offered as a straw of hope.
We rode on with nothing but the same monotonous scenery. In fact, it became even more primitive. I spotted cactuses and then saw a long, dark line of mountains silhouetted along the western horizon. Butterfly woke when we hit another rough piece of road, making the wagon shake and rattle.
"I'm thirsty, Crystal," were her first words.
"Me too," Raven said, "but I haven't seen any place where we could even beg for water. Where are we?" she asked again.
A new sort of fear began to unravel at the bottom of my stomach. In our crazed frenzy to escape from Gordon Tooey, I had not taken any notice of direction. Now, with no signs to give us any sort of hint as to where we were or where we were heading, we were truly lost. It seemed we could only go from bad to worse.
"We better stop at the next sign of life," Crystal said, "and find out where we are."
I nodded and drove on, the road beneath us now turning into something only a little better than dirt.
"Maybe we should turn back, Brooke," Raven suggested.
"We've come so far," I said. "And I didn't see any other turns to take."
"This looks like it goes to nowhere, though," Crystal said leaning forward. "Raven might be right, Brooke."
Our anxiety began to boil. We were all leaning forward now, watching the road, looking for anything hopeful. A pair of rabbits crossed the road on what looked like legs made of springs. The tires were crunching over small rocks and gravel now.
"I think we did it," Raven said. "I think we reached the moon. That's what it looks like out there."
"It's molten rock that has flowed out to the surface of the earth through cracks or fissures. Lava," Crystal explained. "Very much like the moon's surface."
"Thanks I needed that explanation," Raven quipped.
"It does look like the moon," Butterfly said, "because no one lives here."
I couldn't drive anywhere near as fast as I had been driving. The road began to jostle us.
"This is crazy, Brooke. I think we should turn around and . . ." Raven began, but stopped when the engine sputtered. "Oh no, what's happening now?"
I checked the dashboard, something I should have done before we had gone too far. In our haste it never occurred to me that we would run out of gas.
"It's on empty," I moaned.
"Empty? We're out of gas!" Raven cried.
"That's what empty means," Crystal said dryly. "Brooke?"
"I'm sorry. I didn't think to look. In all the excitement . . ."
"No one's blaming you, Brooke," Crystal said sharply.
"Yeah, well what are we supposed to do, get out and hitchhike?" Raven cried.
The wagon rolled to a stop. No one spoke. "This is a road," I said finally "It has to lead to somewhere."
"So?" Raven asked.
"So we get out and walk, Raven."
"Walk?"
"We haven't exactly got a whole lot of choice now, do we?" I shot back at her.
"I'm thirsty," Butterfly reminded us.
"Maybe we should just stay in the car," Raven said, "and wait for someone to come along."
"No one's coming along this late, Raven," Crystal said. "And there could be someplace just down the road. Brooke's right. Let's get out and walk." "Fine," Raven said petulantly. She shoved open the door and got out. We did the same.
For a moment the four of us stood there in the darkness with only the stars above and pondered. There was enough light to outline the road before us like a long, winding dark blue ribbon snaking its way over the next hill
"We're in some sort of desert," Crystal declared. "Great. Maybe we'll all soon see a mirage,"
R
aven said. "It's cold, too." She hugged herself. "Let's take our stuff," Crystal said, referring to the pillowcases of clothing. "We can all put on something more and stay warm."
I opened the back and we sifted through our clothing, putting on extra shirts. Butterfly had her little pink jacket, so she would be the warmest of us all. Crystal suggested we leave everything else behind.
"I don't think we need to carry it with us," she said.
"Okay. Everyone ready?" I asked.
"Nature," Raven said, "my favorite place in which to get lost."
I started and they followed, Crystal and Butterfly right behind, Raven holding up the rear. The road was nothing more than gravel and dirt. Sagebrush and some small cactus were all we saw in the way of vegetation. The plateau seemed to go on forever, with the mountains very far in the distance. We went over one slope and then climbed another, plodding along. We spoke little. I realized it was very late, probably something like four in the morning. The only thing that warmed my heart was the sight of the sky. I never saw it so ablaze with stars--more stars than I'd ever seen before.
Crystal started to describe some of the constellations just to keep our minds occupied. Raven complained that she couldn't see them and thought that Crystal was making it up.
"You have to concentrate a little, Raven. They're not hard to distinguish," she told her.
"I see the Milky Way, too," Butterfly said, and that reminded her of a cold glass of milk and how thirsty she was.
We rounded a turn and discovered that the road went straight for what looked like miles and miles. There was a collection of boulders on our right just a few hundred yards away, but other than that, it looked like more desert, no homes, nothing.
"We could die out here," Raven said. "What a dumb move. We should have stayed in the car."
"I don't want to walk all the way back now," Butterfly said. "Do you, Crystal?"
"By the time we got there, it would probably be morning. We could rest here just as well," she said, indicating the rocks. I agreed.
Probably because they were under the hot sun all day, the rocks were actually warm to the touch. We found a small flat opening between two boulders and sat. Almost as soon as we settled in, something scurried across the top of the boulder on our right and Raven screamed.
"What was that?"
"It looked like a kangaroo rat," Crystal said calmly.
"A rat? Why are there rats here?" Raven moaned. "There are no slums or garbage." Crystal laughed.
"It's a different sort of rodent, Raven. They're like a field mouse or something."
"Let them hang out someplace else," she said. "This is their natural habitat, not ours. We're guests."
"Oh, we're guests Thank you, but no thank you, Crystal. I'd rather be a guest in someone's house," she said.
"Me too," Butterfly said. "I wish we were back with Norman and Nana. When I lived with the Delorices, I had grandparents, but they didn't come around very much and I was never asked to stay at their home. I don't think they liked me."
"They probably didn't like the idea of an adopted grandchild," Crystal said. "It wasn't you. They wouldn't have liked anyone your foster parents brought home."
"I tried to get them to like me. I used to dance for them, but they never invited me to their home," she said sadly.
"It was their loss, not yours," I told her.
The four of us pulled closer together. Butterfly curled up and I told her to put her head on my lap if she wanted. She did. Raven sat with her knees up, her head down for a while. Then she sighed deeply.
"We'll always be alone," she said. "No matter what we do, what we try, we'll always end up like this, alone."
"Talk like that doesn't do us any good now, Raven," Crystal advised.
Raven turned on her.
"Just once, Crystal, just once I'd like to see you act like a human being and not some sort of computer shaped like a person. Don't tell me you're sitting here, lost somewhere in the desert with no money, no plan in your brilliant head and you're not feeling just a little sorry for yourself and a lot scared, too. Don't tell me that."
"I'm not," Crystal replied quickly. "I'm probably more frightened than you are. I'm probably more depressed, but I don't see any value in moaning and groaning."
"At least you get it out, Crystal," Raven said. "At least you let everyone know you have the same feelings. That's got some value, doesn't it?"
For the first time in a long time, I thought Raven was right. I think Crystal did too. She was quiet a long moment.
"All right," she said. "I'll admit I'm afraid. I've been afraid lots of times. I remember right after my foster parents died in that car crash and no one wanted anything to do with me, I was terrified. The state people came for me and there I was, off to another facility to live with strangers again. A part of me wanted to throw a tantrum, break down and cry a river, but I didn't."
"Maybe you should have," Raven said.
"Maybe I should have. Maybe people would have treated me more kindly. Maybe it's not so bad to need sympathy and compassion and ask for it," she said. "Maybe I'm not always right."
She stopped and leaned back, her hands behind her head and then quickly wiped a tear from her cheek.
"You don't have to bawl your head off now," Raven said. "I'm not asking for that."
I almost laughed aloud.
"I never told you," Crystal continued, looking up at the sky, "but I often wish I was more like you, Raven."
"You do?"
"Sure I do. I see how popular you are with the boys and I know you're very pretty and someday you'll get someone to fall so much in love with you, he'll give you everything you want. You'll get it all handed to you on a silver platter, Raven. Whereas I, I will have to earn it, to work for it. I don't mind that, but I'd be a liar if I didn't admit it would be easier your way."
Raven stared at her in the darkness.
"Don't you think I'd like to be a little more like you, Crystal? Don't you think I'd like people to see beyond my looks?"
"Maybe we can merge into one person and give each other what we think is positive about each other," Crystal said.
"We already do," Raven said.
Crystal stared at her and then she sat up and the two of them hugged.
"I'm going to puke," I said, "if we're all going to start being nice to each other now."
They laughed.
"I'm still thirsty," Butterfly complained. That made us laugh too.
I stroked her beautiful hair. Raven hummed a song she remembered her mother used to hum to her. Butterfly's eyes closed and then we all squeezed closer and closed our eyes.
"If we just get a little rest," Crystal said, "things will look more hopeful in the morning." "Kangaroo rats," Raven muttered.
I smiled. I worked on getting the rope off my wrist now and finally did so. After that I closed my eyes, and moments later, I, too, was asleep.
The first time I opened my eyes, I thought Raven was right. We're going to start seeing mirages. I closed them again and then opened them, but no, he was still there, a man in his thirties, wearing a cowboy hat, his hair tied back in a ponytail. He sat on a beautiful black and white horse and wore a dark blue shirt, vest and dungarees, but he also wore a pistol and a badge on his vest. He was dark skinned with emerald green eyes. He sat calmly, staring at us, the horse munching on what surely was the only blades of grass for miles. It snorted and Raven woke, along with Crystal. Butterfly ground the sleep out of her eyes and sat up.
"Is that your station wagon broken down back there?" he asked
"It's not broken down. It's out of gas," I said. He shook his head and smiled.
"You know it's about fifty more miles before you're off the reservation and can find stores and gas stations," he said.
"Reservation?" Crystal asked.
He nodded.
"You didn't see the sign?"
"No sir," I said.
"Well you're on Navajo reservation land. I happen to be an Indian P
eace Officer."
Butterfly moved closer to me. He saw her fear. "Who are you girls?"
"It's a long story," I said.
He smiled. "This is the land of the long story. Can you all walk a ways?"
"Yes sir," I said.
"Good. Follow me," he ordered. He focused on Butterfly. "How would you like to ride with me, little one?" he asked her.
She started to shake her head.
"Go on, Butterfly," Crystal said. "You're very tired."
"Come on. Jake here is about as mild a horse as one can be without being stuffed," he said. He got off and brought the horse to Butterfly. "Pet him. Go ahead," he said. She did so meekly and then he reached into his pocket and produced a lump of sugar. "Give him this and he'll be your best friend," he said. He handed it to Butterfly and she started to offer it to the horse. "No, hold on," he said. "Hold your hand out flat like this and leave the sugar in your palm He'll get it easier."
Butterfly did as he instructed and Jake took the sugar. Then he nuzzled her hand and she laughed.
"See? Best friends. Come on," he said and helped her up and onto the horse. She looked back at us with a mixture of glee and fear. He mounted behind her and looked at us. "Right this way, ladies," he said. He turned the horse and headed around the rocks.
"Arrested by an Indian?" Raven said. "What's left?"
"Scalping," Crystal said.
"That's not funny," Raven cried, hurrying after us. "Crystal. That's not funny "
Just over the hill, we saw a ranch house, a corral with horses, some chickens in a pen, a garage and a barn. It was an oasis in the desert, the lawn long and wide, some citrus trees in the rear and what looked like a brook running through it.
"We were so close and we didn't know it," Crystal remarked. The Indian policeman was talking to Butterfly and she was nodding. I saw him hand her the reins and show her how to tug and turn the horse. Her laughter was as refreshing as a cold glass of water would be.
When we reached the ranch house, he dismounted and helped Butterfly off.
"My name's Tommy," he said, "Tommy Edwards. It's just my wife and myself here. Her name's Anita. Right this way, girls," he said leading us up the steps and over the porch to the front door.
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