Kid thinks, somebody must have had sex here, which is so pathetic. Or did they leave the condom on the ground as kind of a showing-off sort of thing as in pretending they’d had sex? Or maybe it’s a balloon, the kid’s not entirely sure. And he isn’t sure about the stranger either, because there’s a zero point one per cent chance the guy’s all right. He says to her, don’t worry, I can handle this, and she says, I’m coming too. No you’re not he says, oh yes I am, and it sort of goes on like this, quite romantic and impressive really, as in heroic, like in a film. Except it’s all happening in this crummy park. And the kid says, I’ll go on ahead and you cover me.
‘Cover you?’ She doesn’t watch the same kind of films.
He says, you keep watch and if the guy starts strangling me or pulls his dick out or whatever then you scream your head off. You do know how to scream, don’t you? She nods and the kid gets out from behind the bush – she watches him walk across to the bench where the guy’s sitting, facing a different direction so he doesn’t see at first, and right now it’s like the kid’s this tiny dot in an awesome universe, as in here he is, he’s run away from home, been on the loose all afternoon and now it’s nearly dark, he’s stolen a game from WH Smith and found a girlfriend well not officially as in they’ve not formally decided to go out with each other but they held hands and kissed and so forth and that was all quite impressive, and here he is, then, this little dot walking across the grass thinking, I wish you could see me right now, as in his father the Stegosaurus who couldn’t give a shit, and his mother the Maiasaura who’s with the Hags on their shopping weekend and so basically couldn’t give one either. And Spud and Marko and all his friends, well, sort of friends, as in scholastic acquaintances so to speak, meaning they’re the kind of people he sits next to in lessons or the dining hall but when it comes down to it they’re in the non-shit-giving league too. The whole world and the whole universe couldn’t give one except of course for Jodie who’s watching him walk across the grass and is ready to scream at a moment’s notice, like she’s got it lodged in her throat same as the stranger’s got something he’s hiding and about to pull out as in a knife or his dick or whatever it doesn’t really matter, thinks the kid, because the thing is, when all this is finished at least I’ll have done something, as in not sitting in front of television with a tin of beer in my hand waiting to die.
And the stranger turns and sees him. ‘Hello,’ he says.
‘Hello.’
‘I didn’t think you’d come. I’m glad you did.’ The stranger reaches for something and it’s like the kid is watching all of this from a million miles away, like he’s in a little spaceship flying above the Earth, and the stranger’s searching inside his coat, in that pocket they give you so you can steal from shops, and it’s not a knife or gun he brings out but a little wallet kind of thing, as in for keeping credit cards, kid’s seen them before and when he grows up he wants one, it’ll be absolutely filled with cards, all gold. Stranger opens the card wallet and there’s only like two or three in it, he takes out a card and puts the wallet back where he got it, and he holds up the card for the kid to see as if it’s impressive but it isn’t gold or platinum or whatever other kind there is, like Spud says there’s an iridium card now because people have got so rich the platinum one isn’t good enough anymore, but this one the guy’s holding looks more like the swipe card the kid uses to pay for his school meals.
The guy says, ‘I have a job for you,’ and he hands the card to the kid. ‘You’ve got a trick with magnets, I’ve got one with cards.’
Kid takes the card and looks at it and he’s thinking, please don’t scream now Jodie because everything’s under control and I want to know what all this is about. Card’s totally blank except for the magnetic strip on one side.
Guy says, ‘I want you to take this to a cash machine and put it in. The PIN is 1729. Get five hundred pounds.’
Kid stares at the card. At the guy. At the card again. ‘Why can’t you do it?’
Guy smiles. ‘It’s a test. I want to see if you’ll come back.’
‘And if I don’t?’
He laughs. ‘Then you’ll have got yourself a lot of money. And nothing else.’
Kid thinks about it. ‘And if I come back?’
Guy leans towards him. ‘Then we can discuss the mission.’ Says it in sort of a kind but serious way. In a totally Doctor Who way.
‘I’m going,’ says the kid, and walks back towards the bushes with the card in his hand. He looks towards the place where Jodie is hiding and tries to signal to her with his face that everything’s fine, smiling and mouthing like a complete idiot, but he knows the guy must be watching him and Jodie must be watching the guy, so when he passes the bush he says quietly to her out of the corner of his mouth that she’d better follow him when she can but not to let herself be seen and then he keeps going, he knows where to head with the card, a five-minute walk to a line of shops nearly all closed now and not too many people about and he doesn’t even look round until he’s almost at the ATM and when he does he sees that Jodie must have been ten paces behind him all the way as in so embarrassingly uncool of him not to have noticed even though they’re on an illegal top-secret mission.
‘He gave you his card?’ whispers Jodie, catching up, and the kid decides she should be the one puts it in the cash dispenser because he’s a kid and it looks suspicious but she’s fourteen as in basically a woman like she’s got breasts and make-up and so forth and nobody’s going to hassle her so he tells her the deal and passes the card to her, they’re both looking straight ahead and walking and the card’s going from his hand into hers, sort of romantic really, he feels for a moment the touch of her fingers, then she’s like examining the card she’s got in her hand saying oh my God, very quietly, and they’re at the ATM, all lit up like it’s an ice-cream parlour in the wall or something, place where grown-ups get their treats, and she’s saying this is so wrong and the kid says what do you mean?
They’re standing at the machine and she says I’m only doing this for you, not because of whatever the weirdo says. She’s like half looking over her shoulder all the time and it’s making the kid nervous, then she puts the card into the slot and the machine sucks it in and for a moment nothing happens like this is all going to go horribly wrong, kid thinks, as in cage descends from the sky and traps us or great big plastic bubble comes out of the machine or a robot arm with a claw on the end of it grabs me by the throat and sirens wail and there’s this voice saying intruder alert intruder alert and so forth.
Then he remembers the First Law. Act like all of this is meant to be happening. And it works, because the screen is asking Jodie to enter the PIN so he tells her and she taps the keys. Then it’s asking which service she requires like this is all so absolutely normal and she selects cash withdrawal and the next moment she’s like keying five hundred pounds which is so totally unreasonable because the kid’s sure there’s meant to be a limit or something but the machine doesn’t blink, she asks for five hundred pounds and its little computer circuit says sure, five hundred pounds, be my guest, but first take back your perfectly legitimate blank card with a strip of videotape stuck on it, and the machine rolls it out slowly like a piece of gum for Jodie to take. Please wait for your cash, it says, and if there’s going to be a cage falling from the sky then this is the moment, police cars screeching round the corner, as in the stranger in the park is a plainclothes detective from the child-catcher unit.
Clunk. That’s what five hundred pounds look like.
‘Shit!’
‘This is so wrong,’ says Jodie, as in repeats, but she takes the wad and folds it so quickly and naturally it’s like she wrote the First Law herself and the kid didn’t even get a chance to see what sort of denomination the machine chose though he thinks it’s twenties which means there’s twenty-five of them in the wad she’s pushed inside her bra. As in those twenty-five pieces of paper are touching her actual breast. Or one of them is, the lucky twenty-fifth on th
e outside of the wad, and the kid thinks about this while they walk silently back, as in the Queen has got her nose on Jodie’s nipple which makes it all so much more real somehow. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever get to see Jodie’s breast and in fact he doubts it quite a lot and in a way he’s glad because although he’s plenty old enough to run away from home, steal from shops and banks and get involved with dangerous criminals, he doesn’t quite feel ready yet for a full physical relationship with a female.
‘What do we do now?’ he asks her, neither looking round, both expecting the flashing blue light of a police car to start following them.
‘You give the paedo the money and the card,’ says Jodie. ‘Then we run like hell and forget about this.’
He admires Jodie, as in he can see why people might confuse her with some film star she’s named after and he’s never heard of but knows is this really kind of strong character. Feisty, that’s the word he always hears. It’s what woman are meant to be, and Jodie’s feisty. The kid wonders if boys can get to be feisty too but he’s not really ready yet for a fully feisty lifestyle, and in any case maybe it’s strictly a female thing, like you’d never call a girl handsome it would be meaningless.
He knows that basically Jodie feels sorry for him because he’s a young kid who’s run away from home and when they held hands and kissed and so forth it was kind of a sympathetic gesture as in offering somebody a cup of tea and a biscuit sort of thing because a woman like Jodie is really more interested in somebody who’s maybe like sixteen or seventeen or even drives a car. She’s not going to hang out with a young kid except out of kindness or curiosity or because her friend happened to get called away. All of which sort of makes the kid really hate being who he is and the age he is so to speak which when you think about it is only a matter of when he was born as in the year and there are all these other twelve-year-olds like him in other time zones for example the Victorians and the Saxons and the Romans that he learned about at school so boring and they all grew up and died, even the little children who got saved from the river, and when you think about it that way, the kid thinks, it’s like we’re all dead already as in we’re somebody’s past. So stealing really isn’t such a big deal. Kids stole in Victorian times and nowadays everybody feels sorry for them.
‘Here’s the money,’ says Jodie, stopping and reaching inside her top. They’re nearly back at the park but not yet in view of it and even if they were the kid wouldn’t be looking at it because the only thing he can see right now is Jodie’s hand reaching feistily inside her underwear and pulling out a warm wad of twenties that she presses into his fingers. As in this paper has touched her breast and now he’s holding it, really and truly, and all he wants to do is put it up to his nose and smell it. He wants to be that money.
She gives him the card too. ‘Go and see the weirdo, then split, got it?’
She’s definitely the one in charge, or thinks she is. And something inside the kid tells him: Jodie, you sound just like my mother. He has a right to decide, doesn’t he? The stranger gave him the card and trusted him to go to a cashpoint and pull five hundred pounds. Or rather didn’t trust him – he did it as a test and doesn’t care if the kid comes back or not. Guy’s probably got ten cards like this one and could find ten more kids, sort of a Fagin kind of character only this guy doesn’t even steal because the money came out of a machine and not somebody’s pocket. And the kid has passed the test, or will pass once he hands over the goods. But Jodie’s setting a different kind of test, as in he’s got to do what she orders and the kid’s not entirely happy with this because it’s not like they’re actually going out together or anything. She’s basically this bossy girl who feels sorry for him because he’s run away and so forth but he didn’t run away so he could get bossed around. He says, I’m going there alone.
‘I’ll keep watch again from behind the bushes. I’ll scream if there’s trouble.’
‘No need,’ says the kid. He’s got it all under control. ‘You’d better leave.’
She stands there looking at him like she’s thinking, is that it? Sort of a romantic moment. Because the kid has realized two things. One: he’s got a card that gives him access to unlimited cash. Two: he doesn’t need to take orders from anyone. And thanks to both of these things, he’s risen in her estimation.
She says, ‘Will I see you again?’
He laughs. ‘Nothing’s going to happen to me …’
‘I don’t mean like that. Do you want to see me again?’
‘Yes,’ he says. Then adds, ‘Once all of this is finished.’ It’s sort of heroic, they’re both like these tiny dots. Only he’s a bigger one.
‘Bye, then,’ she says.
‘Bye.’
He watches her turn and walk away and the roll of money is curled in his hand which is safely inside his pocket, where the card is too, and he can feel how much power it gives him. Like every game or DVD in the whole entire world that he could possibly want. They’re his, and all the extras. It’s like the menu of his life has expanded. He walks to the park alone.
Kid sees the stranger sitting there, bit of a smile on the guy’s face but not much, like he’s pleased but not too surprised. Nobody else in the park, usually get older kids this time of the evening but it’s like maybe the sight of the stranger scared them off, thought he might be police or community worker which is even worse in a way, but the kid’s pleased he’s got the stranger all to himself, not even Jodie watching, because this is his adventure and he has to deal with it alone. So he hands over the wad, guy reaches from where he’s sitting on the bench like he hasn’t moved all this time the kid was away, takes the money and folds it into his pocket, might as well be toilet paper, takes the card too. Says nothing.
‘Did I pass the test?’
Guy nods. Stands up. Looks taller than the kid remembered, almost like a god. ‘Let’s go.’
‘Where?’
‘You’ll see.’
They walk. No conversation, no discussion, they just walk, and soon wind up back at the riverside path, kid says to the stranger I was here before but the stranger isn’t interested. They walk.
He thinks, maybe he’s going to try to kill me. Maybe he’ll pull me behind some bushes and slit my throat. Or he’ll rape me and slit my throat. But the kid isn’t scared. If it comes to it, he can handle himself. He can fight, run, scream. And anyway, the stranger isn’t going to hurt him, he isn’t a paedo, kid can tell. He’s a spaceman. They’re on a mission and that’s all that matters. They keep walking.
‘It’s over there,’ the stranger says suddenly. They’re like basically nowhere.
‘What is?’
‘Place where we’re staying tonight.’
Pretty obvious when you think about it, which is what the kid does now, as in they’ve been going all this way because it’s getting dark and they need somewhere to stay. They’ve walked right out of town to a bit where the kid never goes and there’s fields and stuff around them, sort of generic boring countryside kind of scenario and already too dim to see much anyway except a glow of light beyond some trees.
Stranger says, ‘There’s a hotel over there. I went earlier and booked us a room.’
It’s kind of exciting and scary. Like they’re doing a sleepover together. And he’s like this forty-five-year-old axe-murderer or whatever.
‘Cool,’ says the kid.
‘We’re going to head over there now,’ guy tells him. ‘I’ve already checked in so all you need do is let me pick up the key, then we go to the room. You don’t have to say anything, got that?’
Kid nods. Suddenly it’s all so real. As in instructions and so forth.
Stranger says, ‘Don’t talk to anybody and it’ll all be fine. But as a backup, you need to know the names we’re using. The story is that you’re my son, understand?’
Kid nods again. Head feels loose at the neck joint.
‘Good,’ says the stranger. ‘Your name is Felix.’
‘Felix?’ the kid echoes.
‘Yes, Felix,’ the guy echoes back. Two of them standing there in the twilight beside the river, midges swirling, kind of a tense sort of moment.
Kid says, ‘Why Felix?’
‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘Is it like a code?’
‘Never mind. You’re Felix and that’s that. Try it. What’s your name, kid?’
Comes out soft and hesitant. ‘Felix?’
‘Say it with more confidence. What’s your name?’
‘Felix.’
‘Again.’
‘My name is Felix,’ says Felix.
‘There you go,’ says the stranger, ‘you’ve grown into it.’
‘And what’s your name?’ Felix asks him.
The guy looks down at Felix, stooping so as to bring his face closer. ‘My name is Robert Coyle.’
Kid rolls it in his head like a gobstopper. Robert Coyle. And the more he rolls it, the more all the colour comes out of it. As in he knows it’s a made-up name and doesn’t really mean anything, because names are just like this combination of letters out of zillions of equal possibilities. But names are what you grow into, and already he’s liking being called Felix, a cool name, sounds right for a runaway carrying out a dangerous mission with an alien. Robert Coyle is more like a camouflage sort of thing, kind of name you could give to anyone.
‘Hello, Robert,’ says Felix.
‘Wrong,’ Coyle says at once.
‘What do you mean?’
‘You never call me Robert,’ says Coyle. ‘You call me Dad.’
It all feels pretty natural really. As in he’s got himself a new dad, and even if this guy is an axe-murderer he couldn’t be much worse than Stegosaurus, who right now is holding a tin of beer in his hand and wishing he could win the lottery some day. But there’s only one way you can be sure of winning the lottery and that’s to cover every possible combination. Like socks – or names. For this mission, the kid is Felix Coyle and his dad is Robert. Next time they’ll be different people. One life, one ticket – that’s for sad losers.
Sputnik Caledonia Page 43
