by Ilsa J. Bick
Ahead, not fifty feet away, the forest was awash in shimmering silver-blue shafts, bright enough to cut tall, inky shadows. She could make out the tree limbs on beds of needles; the individual stones around her banked fire, the coals dozing under a blanket of ashes; even the gleam of individual grommets on her tent. From his place close to the fire ring, Buck’s head raised and cocked a question at her sudden appearance in the middle of the night, especially since she’d kicked him out of the tent.
“Holy shit,” she whispered, and watched in a kind of awe as her breath smoked not sickly green-gray … but blue. She’d set her boots outside the tent, and now she fumbled them up, her fingers suddenly clumsy, mouth dry. I should wake up Tom. He’ll want to see this. We should get the others. Yes, but she wanted to be certain first. She jammed her bare feet into her boots. Too late, she realized that in her rush, she’d forgotten to shake them out. To her relief, her toes discovered that no one had dropped in for a visit.
She’d made camp within a sheltering stand of hemlock and sugar maple, but there was a clearing to her left. Now, pushing to her feet, she darted that way with Buck galumphing after. In only a few seconds, she splashed into a pool of light so intense that what she first saw, to her right, was only the long fingerling of her shadow as it ran away. She could see Buck’s shadow, too, and the double gleam in his eyes as he stared, wondering what in hell had her so worked up. Turning on her heels, she looked left and up through a break in the canopy …
And into a night sky where the thick web of clouds had, finally, pulled apart. Only the brightest stars showed. That was because the moon was high and full—and white.
“Oh my God.” Her hand flew to her mouth. “You’re there, you’re really there, you’re back, you’re the moon, you’re—”
At that moment, Buck grumbled a low warning. She heard a soft shush of a foot over earth.
Then, to her left, the smell rolled from the deep black of the forest.
She hadn’t lied. She really did believe that her monster only worked one-way: a drop behind the eyes of someone else, and not vice versa.
The odor might have been there for a while, although not too long. Earlier, she’d been outside with Tom and smelled only the strong, keen, cold metal of Superior, the fresh resin of woods, the fire—and Tom, of course. She’d been very focused on him, his taste, the feel of his mouth and hands, and then the urgency of his body against hers. His scent saturated her skin and hair and every part of her. Tom was so strong, a hum in her blood, and what they made together was so sweet as to eclipse all else.
Now, though, she recalled the dream, brief but vivid, that had awakened her. The image was more like a crane shot from a faded video: a swooping pan that showed woods and a blur that might be a tent and then the lake, not black or sickly green, but steely blue and sparking with moonlight where small waves curled over rocks.
That was when the monster raised its head and took a whiff, and she woke.
“It’s all right,” she said to the wolfdog, not knowing if this was true. Yet she smelled no spike of danger here: only cool shadows and gray mist, a hint of apple.
And rot. That was there, too. Still.
She mightn’t have spotted him if not for the moon. He was that far back in the trees. Just a suggestion of a person there, a stick figure cut out of black construction paper.
At the sight, everything in her that was human iced. Not the monster, though, with its scaly arms and needle teeth. Wolf was a buddy, someone with whom to play. For her, it was as though the monster decided to take her worst nightmare and make it real.
This would end in only one of two ways: with Wolf dead or—eeny-meeny-miny-mo—Tom, Chris, Ellie. Take your pick.
“You can’t do this, Wolf,” she said to that dark silhouette in the trees. “They’ll kill you.” Or I will, to protect them. “I want to walk with Tom. I’m sorry, Wolf. Go back to Penny. She needs you. I wish I could help you be Simon again, but I don’t know how. I don’t know if you can.” Or if I should try.
Yet her right hand just happened to be in her parka pocket, and she felt two things, both of which crinkled. One she’d put there a while back. Hadn’t forgotten it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Until this second, she thought she would share it with Tom and Chris and Ellie. A kind of celebration as they began their long walk, together, toward something new.
The other was her mother’s letter, the one Ellie stole back from Harlan. Having read it enough times to memorize it, she didn’t need the moon’s strong light. The lines that jumped out of the black of her mind now, though, were ones her dad penned.
A word of advice, sweetheart: when you’re at the brink; when it’s a choice between what’s safe and what might be better, even if what’s best is also scary, take a chance, honey. Take a deep breath and—
She hadn’t lied to Tom. She had … omitted? No, that was wrong, too. She hadn’t quite understood, that was all. In retrospect, assuming the monster might jump behind alien eyes when it hadn’t been properly introduced went against her experience.
In the last week, her dreams were crowded with images she recognized: the deserted ranger’s station, her smashed Toyota, that sign pointing the way to Moss Knob and Luna Lake. All familiar places along this long walk back to her past.
For Wolf, though, they were all new.
So, now … Wolf saw what she did? By getting into her dreams? Or quietly slipping behind her eyes while she was awake yet unaware? There was no way to be certain which, but either would answer how he’d managed to track her down. With Buck, Wolf shouldn’t have been able to smell her at all. Unless that, too, was Changing.
Something else to think about: If Wolf could see through her, even if only when she dreamt, what about … emotions? Thoughts? What if, somehow, she now could do what Finn couldn’t? Not piggyback on a signal but truly receive one?
Take a chance.
Could she do this? She felt her impatient monster pressing its nose against the glassy backs of her eyes. Should she? This wouldn’t be a tap-tap. This would be as it was on the snow while the lake house burned, but instead of Wolf trying to rediscover who he’d been in her face, it would be she who reached for him, like Meg Murry pushing past IT to find her brother.
When you’re at the brink; when it’s a choice between what’s safe and what might be better—
Gathering herself, she closed her eyes and let a tendril, one monstrous and scaly little arm, go. Her mind shimmied with the sensation of a swoon that was a leap … and then she was behind Wolf’s eyes and could see herself: hair loose and legs bare, in a silver-blue pearl of moon.
And then for a moment—and only that—she also let go of herself, trusting in love and her strength, allowing the door to open enough to brush his mind with tentative, ghostly fingers and truly feel for the boy beneath the monster. She gasped as her chest filled with a deep and bitter ache that was Wolf’s grief and loneliness and longing.
She opened her eyes. Her monster wasn’t pleased to come back—she could tell from that spastic little flutter—but it knew what it could do to itself. Anyway, she was busy. One more thing she really needed to try.
“I don’t want you to die, Wolf, if you can be Simon again. If you think you might be close.” She withdrew the half of that King Size Almond Joy she’d saved for a treat, a celebration of the possible. Stooping, eyes still on the boy wreathed in shadows, she prized out the cardboard insert. The wrapper crinkled in the hush. A perfume of rich chocolate and sweet coconut and spicy almond swelled. Moving carefully, she set the candy atop its wrapper on the ground between them.
Because what the hell: sometimes, you feel like a nut.
Take a chance, honey. Take a deep breath and—
“Jump, Wolf,” she said.
And then Alex took a step back and waited with Buck, in fresh moonlight, to see what would happen next.
THE CAST OF CHARACTERS
Alex Adair: living with her aunt in Illinois after her mom, an ER doc, an
d dad, a cop, died in a helicopter crash three years ago. Suckier still, Alex carries a monster in her head: an inoperable brain tumor that’s stolen her sense of smell and many of her memories, especially those of her parents. After two years of failed chemotherapy, radiation, and experimental regimens, Alex has decided to call the shots for a change. As the series opens, Alex has run off on what might well be a one-way backpacking trek through the Waucamaw Wilderness in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. She intends to honor her parents’ last wishes and scatter their ashes from Mirror Point on Lake Superior. As it happens, she’s also got her dad’s service Glock, just in case she opts out of a return. After the Zap, Alex gets her sense of smell back in spades, a super-sense that also allows her to intuit emotions and, on one occasion, catch a glimmer of what goes on inside the mind of a wolf. Which is pretty funky. Much more to the point, like the dogs, she is able to detect the bloated roadkill stink of the Changed. Oh, and all of a sudden, every dog is her new best friend.
Ellie Cranford: sullen, uncooperative, a trifle whiny, a kid Alex has to keep herself from slapping silly. What can you say? The kid’s eight. Her dad’s KIA in Iraq, her mother split years back, and Ellie’s now being cared for by her grandfather, Jack, who might have the patience of a saint, but cut the kid a break. She hates camping, and it’s not like she hasn’t got good reason to be a little pissy anyway. Initially rescued by Alex and then Tom, Ellie is kidnapped by some very nasty adults who see her as a meal ticket.
Mina: Ellie’s dog, a Belgian Malinois, and formerly her dad’s MWD (military working dog). Mina also has the patience of a saint but packs a mean bite. The nasty adults take her, too.
Tom Eden: a young soldier and explosive ordnance specialist on leave from Afghanistan; a competent guy who complements Alex in a lot of ways. After Alex fends off a pack of wild dogs, Tom saves both Ellie and Alex by shooting his buddy, Jim, who’s gone through a major lifestyle change. Steady and calm, someone to whom Alex is instantly attracted, Tom also has a few secrets of his own. The biggest is just why he’s in the Waucamaw to begin with. After they leave the (relative) safety of the Waucamaw—we’re talking wild dogs, booby traps, and kids who’ve suddenly decided that people make excellent Happy Meals—Tom is shot while trying to prevent the nasty adults from stealing Ellie.
Chris Prentiss: the grandson of Reverend Yeager and Rule’s de facto second-in-command, though he grew up in another town. Dark and reserved, a bit of a brooder, Chris has an uncanny ability to find Spared, especially up north around Oren and its nearby Amish community. He falls for Alex in a big way after she comes to Rule. Despite her initial determination to escape, Alex eventually reciprocates his affection.
Peter Ernst: Rule’s overall commander, although he takes his marching orders from the Council of Five, representatives from Rule’s founding families who run the village. At twenty-four, Peter is the oldest Spared, and he’s fiercely protective of Chris. Peter has a thing going with Sarah, one of Alex’s housemates.
Sarah, Tori, and Lena: Alex’s housemates; all refugees to whom Rule offered sanctuary. Of the three, Sarah’s a tad bossy. Good-natured Tori alternately crushes on Greg (another Spared who is part of Chris’s squad) and Chris, and still makes a mean apple crisp. Taciturn, irreverent, and originally from that Amish community near Oren, Lena’s a girl with ’tude. Having manipulated Peter, Lena once tried to escape—only to be caught in the Zone, a no-man’s-land buffer zone through which those who are Banned (i.e., kicked out of Rule for various offenses) must travel in order to leave Rule’s sphere of influence.
Reverend Yeager: a descendant of one of Rule’s five founding families. Filthy rich from having run a very profitable mining company, Yeager heads the Council of Five. (The other Council members are Ernst, Stiemke, Prigge, and Born.) Before the Zap, Yeager was quietly dementing away in the Alzheimer’s wing of Rule’s hospice. After the Zap, however, Yeager was Awakened. Like Alex, he possesses a super-sense and can determine emotions and truthfulness through touch.
Jess: a tough cookie with a penchant for spouting Bible verses. Jess seems to have her own agenda when it comes to who should be making the decisions for Rule. She’s hot for Chris to stand up to his grandfather. For a variety of reasons—all of them very good—Chris is reluctant. Jess also makes no secret of encouraging Chris and Alex to become, well, a little closer.
Matt Kincaid (Doc): scruffy, pragmatic, sharper than a tack, and Rule’s only doctor. He is also an Awakened, though he has no super-sense. He is the only one who knows about Alex’s brain tumor as well as her super-sense of smell. Kincaid has suggested that the monster might be dead, dormant, or busy organizing into something entirely different.
Jed and Grace: an elderly couple from Wisconsin who’ve rescued and nursed Tom back to health. A vet, Jed suffered brain damage that left him blind in one eye and a tad addled. After the Zap, his vision returned as a super-sense. Stricken with Alzheimer’s, Grace Awakened, recovering her extensive nursing knowledge as well as developing an uncanny facility with numbers.
Wolf: the nickname Alex has given to the leader of a band of Changed, who also just happens to be Chris’s identical twin (and of whose existence Chris is unaware). Although Wolf seems by turns attached and attracted to Alex and protects her from ending up as a Happy Meal for the rest of his crew (Beretta, Acne, Slash, and Spider), Alex can’t decide if Wolf is only saving her for dessert.
Leopard: the leader of a rival group of Changed and Spider’s main squeeze.
Daniel: recruited along with his little brother, Jack, by Mellie. Daniel leads a doomed raid to rescue Alex. Spider murders Jack, who ends up as that evening’s main course.
Weller: one of Peter’s men, Weller is really working for Finn (see below). Why he’s thrown in with the militia leader seems more to do with revenge against Peter for some past, unknown grievance than a beef with Rule.
Elias Finn: Vietnam vet and now leader of a secretive, long-established militia. Several of his men have infiltrated Rule and captured Peter, but Finn seems more interested in whether the Changed can be tamed and, by subjecting Peter to endless life-or-death bouts, how quickly they can learn. Yet his long-term goals, as well as the reasons for his intense hatred for Rule, are unclear.
Davey: a Changed boy Finn is taming—and training.
Mellie: a grandmotherly sort, who’s gathering up and arming kids to march against Rule.
Luke and Cindi: part of Mellie’s band. At fourteen, Luke is oldest and very attached to Tom. The daughter of a child psychiatrist and the band’s lookout, Cindi major crushes on Tom.
WHO’S WHERE AND DOING WHAT AT THE END OF SHADOWS
Alex: is caught in the collapse of the old Rule mine and falling down an escape shaft that is rapidly flooding.
Tom: is heartbroken and blames himself for Alex’s death. When Luke and Cindi tell him that Mellie and Weller (injured in the mission to destroy the mine) plan to march on Rule soon, Tom admits that he’s afraid to go because his hatred for Chris, whom Weller said was responsible for turning Alex out of Rule, is so black and monstrous, he wants nothing more than to murder the other boy.
Chris: is unconscious, dying, and pinned beneath an iron-spiked tiger-trap outside Oren.
Peter: is still Finn’s prisoner. Having killed numerous Changed in exchange for food and water—and, ironically, taught Changed like Davey the best way to fight—Peter is now faced with a choice: eat human flesh, or starve.
Lena: is fighting the urge to feed on Chris, whom she no longer truly recognizes. Startled by the sudden appearance of a dog, she takes off only to find herself surrounded by a band of Changed that’s been shadowing her for days.
Wolf: had disappeared after being shot by Spider. Just before she’s herded into the mine, however, Alex thinks she catches his scent with her super-sense.
Jess: is badly injured, comatose, and probably still in Rule under Kincaid’s care.
The Body Count: Jed, Grace, Daniel, Jack, Leopard, Beretta, Slash. Spider and Acne were presumabl
y caught in the mine collapse.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
To say that this trilogy’s been a wild ride is an understatement. I don’t think I’ve ever gone through so many boxes of Kleenex, and I suspect I’ll think about these characters and what has become of them for quite awhile.
Offering my thanks to the many people who’ve made this journey possible seems so little for those who’ve given so much, but my gratitude for both their belief in me and hard work in helping these books see the light of day is nearly boundless. First and foremost, my editor, Greg Ferguson, deserves a medal for the hours he put into going through these manuscripts with a flea comb. I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard either; Greg’s a guy who’s not above getting so wrapped up in the story that his comments practically scream off the page: But I want to know what happens next, and I want to know right NOW! (Heh-heh: gotcha.)
To my She-To-Whom-No-One-Else-Holds-A-Candle agent, Jennifer Laughran, a woman who continues to not only watch my back but has this uncanny knack of making the right call at exactly the right time … you know, when you’re right, you’re right. And, thanks: I needed that.
For all the wonderful folks, past and present, at Egmont USA with whom I’ve had the great good fortune to work, special thanks go yet again:
To Elizabeth Law, a woman who knows how to make lemonade from lemons: You. Me. Dinner.
To Ryan Sullivan, crackerjack copy editor and all-around fan: Great catches, man. Your love for this series really came through.
