“No, I don’t have enough money, but thank you,” I told her and moved to get up again.
“Now, I don’t recall saying anything about money. I only asked if I could get you something. Sit, honey. You look exhausted. I will get you something. Then, you and I can have a little chat.” I sat back down as she got up to head toward the kitchen.
A few minutes later, she brought out a burger with fries and a chocolate shake. I sat there and ate the best burger I had ever eaten in my life. The juice from the meat dribbled down my chin, but I was ravenous, so I just let it go.
“Now dear,” she spoke as I continued to eat. “I’m Dorothy, you can call me Dotty.”
I nodded at her, still not trusting her kindness, but at this point, what did I really have to lose?
“I’m McKenzie.” I talked around my food and washed it down with the shake.
“How long have you been on your own?”
Technically, since I was 12 when my mom died, but she didn’t need to know that I lived through hell with Richards and his son. “Not long,” I said, leaving it up to her to decide.
“Dear, if you are going to lie to me, then you might want to learn how to control the emotions that are written across your face. Now, I’m guessing you have been on your own for a few years now. Is that right?” I nodded. What else could I do?
“Ok, well, are you in school somewhere?”
“Yes, but not for much longer.”
“Oh, I didn’t think you were old enough to be graduating. How old are you?”
“I’m not graduating, and I’m 16.” She looked at me shrewdly, then nodded her head.
“Does the father know?”
“No, he can never know.” I sat there and ate while she drummed her golden yellow nails on the table in front of her. “I can’t pay for this Dotty, and I won’t be coming back here. Thank you so much for the food.” I moved to get up yet again, but her next words stopped me in my tracks.
“My house is behind the diner. I have an extra room. It’s just me and Peaches, my cat. You are welcome to stay with me as long as you like, providing you help around the diner and don’t try stealing from me. Are we in agreement?”
“Yes,” I decided to take the chance on Dotty and it was the best decision I could have made
Titan took me up the stairs to my room. Thankfully, nobody was around right now. I didn’t really want to interact with anyone else tonight. I had enough of that at the party.
“Thank you, Titan. Can you do me a favor?” I asked, knowing full well he would deny my request. If I was honest, it sent a thrill through me that he would deny it even as I begged him to grant it.
“Sure honey, what do you need?”
“I-” I was going to tell him to leave me alone, to move on with his life, but I knew he wouldn’t do it. For some reason, he had decided he wanted me. “I would like a glass of water if you don’t mind,” I said instead. He wasn’t going to listen if I just told him to leave me alone, anyway, it would just have started another argument and I was too tired for that. I would have to show him that there was nothing between us, that there could never be anything between us.
I went to sleep that night formulating a plan. It would take time and it would be hard for me at first, but I really felt that this is the way that I needed to go. Staying away from men had not protected me from this happening again, so instead of staying away, I was going to let myself go and meet them on my own terms. I just had to find out how I was going to do it.
The next morning, I woke to the smell of bacon and the sound of giggles. I slowly got out of bed, careful to not jostle my still tender ribs. After going pee, a pain pill was on my list. I went toward the bathroom and jumped when the door opened as I approached. “CRAP!” I grabbed my side and flinched in pain. Titan was there, shirtless, with jeans riding low on his hips, wet towel over his shoulder, and hair still wet and smelling strongly of strawberries.
I was right on the level of his chest that had different tattoos on it. Just left of the center of his chest, it looked like his skin was ripped open, exposing his heart. It was realistic looking. The blood, the veins, the muscles of the heart, all of it looked so real. His tattoo could teach a biology class, it was so accurate. He flexed his chest and my breath caught. The movement made it look like the heart actually beat.
“Do that again,” I whispered. He did as I asked. “Is this Ink’s work?”
“Yes, all of my tattoos are.”
I turned my eyes to look at the tattoo on his upper arm. There was a naked pinup girl wrapped only in an American flag. Her head thrown back as if she was in the middle of an orgasm with her mouth partly open. Her brown hair hanging down her back. On the other upper arm he had an old clock with Roman numerals and a few dates circling around the outside of the clock in the center, you could see the gears that turned the hands of time. “What are the dates?”
“When I was in the service, I had a few buddies go on a routine drive. I was going to go with them when I was called back by my commander. They hit an IED. Only one of them came back alive. I probably would have died too had I gone with them.” He pointed to one of the dates, then slid his finger to the next. “This is the day my dad died.”
“Why a clock?”
“Because we never know when our time is up.”
I nodded. “Any more?” I asked. I know I shouldn’t have, because that just encouraged him further, but the work was amazing. I would have to get Ink to do some work on me soon. I saw Abby’s phoenix tattoo he did. It looked incredible. Jason turned around and showed me his back. Across his shoulders he had the Steel Demons’ insignia. The motorcycle with a skeleton frame was inked into his skin. The wheels looked as though they were burning rubber, with fire coming from under the wheels. There was a rocker under the bike that had Steel Demons and a date.
“Your pieces are very nice,” I said, nodding toward his tattoos as he turned back around. His impressive chest was distracting, but I held firm to my resolve of pushing him away. I had a plan. I needed to build my walls up, and give only what I wanted to give. Titan would want and expect too much from me. He, more than anyone, could break me.
“Excuse me,” I said, nodding toward the bathroom behind him. I ignored the fact that his hair was freshly wet from his shower, and that his jeans were low on his hips, exposing the delicious ‘V’ that tends to turn grown women into one massive, raging, walking hormone. His body was perfect, each muscle was perfectly sculpted from working out, but I ignored all of his perfection and went around him into the bathroom.
When I closed the door, I let out a breath and counted down from ten. He turned me inside out. If I let him close, he could destroy me in a way that Richards, his bastard son, and Price never did.
As McKenzie studied my tattoos, I clenched my teeth and willed my body not to react to her inspection. She liked what she saw. She couldn’t hide the fact that beneath her long night shirt that hung to her knees, her nipples poked out when she saw my bare chest. I heard her intake of breath when I tightened my chest muscles so she could see the beating heart effect. I saw how her eyes softened when I told her about the significance of the dates on the clock.
I went back downstairs to the living room and grabbed a shirt from my bag. Declan came running through the living room. “Titan,” he said, running toward me.
“What’s up, little man?”
“Wanna play cars with me?” he asked, offering me a basket full of little cars.
“Sure.” I pulled the shirt over my head and sat on the floor with my back against the couch. He dumped the cars out and started lining them up across the rug.
“Which cars do you want?” His excitement evident in his voice.
“You pick your favorites, and then I’ll pick out of what’s left.”
Declan quickly pulled out five of his favorite cars and waited for me to choose from the remaining few. I sat there and moved cars around while making vroom sounds, and we
’d crash the cars into each other over and over again. Declan farted and broke out in a fit of giggles. I chuckled at the boy. I looked up to see McKenzie standing on the last step, a soft unguarded smile on her face as she listened to Declan’s laughter. She must have felt me looking at her because her green eyes met mine and I saw the wall build itself back up in her eyes as the smile left her face. ‘Not for long,’ I said to myself, breaking the contact and turning my attention back to Declan, and McKenzie disappeared from my peripheral vision.
Ma called for us a few minutes later to go get breakfast. The door to the house opened and Piper came in panting and sweating. Her red hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she had running shorts and a T-shirt on that hung off one shoulder, revealing a wide pink bra strap. She was gorgeous, but she didn’t pull me the way McKenzie did. I talked to Piper the way I talked to Phoenix, like a little sister.
“Did you enjoy your run?” Ma asked Piper as she was putting plates on the table.
“Yes. It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to go for a run and not worry about Declan. Thank you for watching him.”
“Not a problem, hon.”
We all ate breakfast. Piper and Ma kept up most of the conversation with the help of Declan. McKenzie only spoke when spoken to and it bugged the hell out of me. I hated that she was doing this, even if it was understandable. She carefully avoided looking at me, but I focused on her even when I was talking to someone else. Silently, I was letting her know I wasn’t going anywhere.
After breakfast, McKenzie excused herself. Piper started to clean, but Ma told her to go shower to get ready for her day. I helped Ma clear the table as Piper took Declan upstairs. “She will need time, Jason. Staring her down like that won’t make the situation any better.”
I sighed. “I know, Ma. I just hate how she’s pulling away from everything, and this insistence that everyone call her Ember all the time bugs the hell out of me.”
“I know.” She smiled. I took the dish from her hands and loaded it in the dishwasher like we had done many times before. Ma taught me as much as dad did. She taught me how to keep my house in order, and she taught me the basics of cooking, which I was actually pretty good at. I just hid it from the rest of the club because I didn’t want to be cooking all the time. “She’ll come around. You might need to loosen up a bit. Let her find her own way rather than trying to hover over her. From what I’ve gathered, she’s never really had someone look out for and care for her other than Phoenix, and even then Phoenix could only do something about it recently.”
“What are you saying? That I should let her go out there, alone, with a man that is most likely looking to hurt her?” I threw the plate into the dishwasher with more force than necessary and almost broke it because the idea of her being that vulnerable to danger pissed me the fuck off.
“I’m saying you hovering over her when she has never had that before can be intimidating and overwhelming. Back off. Let her find her way, honey. She will, she’s a strong woman. Probably stronger than you and I know.”
“I know, Ma.” My phone rang. I left her doing the dishes to head outside to talk to Chink. “Where are you, brother?” I said into the phone.
“I’m coming down the road now. What am I supposed to do with your woman all day?”
“I don’t know. You probably won’t see her that much, at least not at first. She’s still healing physically, and she’s cutting herself off from everybody.”
“Ok, are you sure you don’t want Ink to stay with her? He has some kind of connection with her that the rest of us don’t.”
“I’m sure.” Even though Ink is my brother and I trust him implicitly, the idea that their bond could grow stronger while my bond with her is barely there didn’t sit well with me. To be honest, it left me feeling jealous as hell, a feeling I have never before experienced – and hated. “I’ll fill you in on what happens at church when I get back.”
I hopped on my bike that one of the brothers had brought over for me. I glanced up and saw McKenzie in the window. She looked so lost and alone. Even from that distance, her eyes looked out the window vacantly, like she was lost in thoughts and memories. It was a look I had seen before, too many times. She was drowning and didn’t even know it.
I started the bike, not taking my eyes off her. I saw her flinch and grimace in pain at the sudden roar of the engine. She looked at me, our eyes locking for a moment before she stepped out of the window. I had no idea how I was going to reach her.
I showed up at the clubhouse early. Most of the guys were there eating breakfast or pussy. Grit hadn’t shown up yet. He texted me that he was dropping Phoenix off at her house so she could spend time with McKenzie, then he was headed up here. I made my way toward my room. It felt like forever since I’d been at the clubhouse, but honestly, I didn’t miss it as much as I thought I would.
I was heading into my room when Becky and Erin saddled up beside me. They were barely dressed at all. Booty shorts that had their ass cheeks hanging out. Becky had a bra on but Erin’s chest was bare. It had been two weeks since I had any sex, so my dick stood up at attention at the sight before me.
“Titan.” Erin hooked her arm through mine, smashing it up against the fleshy globes of her breasts. “We’ve missed you,” she purred in my ear. Damnit, I needed to get off. Becky got closer and was about to kiss me, but I pulled away. Fuck, I wanted McKenzie. These girls could get me hard and they could relieve the ache in my balls, but it would only be temporary. Only McKenzie could satisfy the constant hunger I felt.
“Ladies, touch me again and you are out of the clubhouse. I’m done. If you needed something else, ask, but I don’t want anything you have to offer.” When they turned to walk away, I turned back to my room without a second glance. I definitely needed to look into a house. McKenzie would most likely never feel comfortable here, not that I could blame her after what I’m sure she saw that night.
I took another shower, this one cold to get my body under control. No, I didn’t want any of the club girls, but my dick is not used to being backed up. Fucking hell, I was going to have blue balls by the time McKenzie was underneath me. I relieved a little of the pressure I was feeling in the shower, but my body still burned for her.
After I dried off and dressed again in my jeans and black shirt, I made my way to the conference room that doubled as my office. It was where we held church, but since it was such a small group of us, unlike the original chapter, we just met around a large dining room table. I grabbed my glasses out of my pocket and started shifting through the paperwork that had piled up on the table. Bills and files of information on Phoenix, her grandmother, McKenzie, Price, his wife, Richards, his son, Piper, and Hannah were all on my table. I grabbed McKenzie’s file to see what all Hack had been able to put together about her past.
I didn’t notice Grit come in, followed by the others. I was too blown away by what I was reading. McKenzie had a kid. She was just 17 when she gave birth to a little girl. I closed my eyes at the implications of what that meant. She had given the baby up for adoption. McKenzie had dropped out of school at 16 and received her GED. She worked in a diner for years as she went to culinary school. There was no record of where she lived during all this, but her tuition for school was always paid in full from an account listed under her name.
“Titan.” Grit’s voice broke through my thoughts. “What’s going on brother?”
I looked at the file in my hands. “Has anyone read this?” I lifted McKenzie’s file. When nobody said they had, I nodded. “McKenzie’s file stays closed. Legend, get Hack on the phone for me now.”
“What’s up, brother?” Grit questioned again.
“Does Phoenix know McKenzie has a kid?” Grit blinked in stunned silence. The look on his face confirming that he had no clue. I looked to Ink and the same stunned expression was on his face. He shook his head, signaling his lack of knowledge as well.
“Hack,” Legend said, offering me the phone.
I took it from his hands. “How deep did you have to go to find out about McKenzie’s kid? Can Richards find out easily?”
“Not far. If he wanted to find the kid, he could.”
“Find out where the kid is now, Hack. I want everything on her. I want everything on her adopted parents, everything down to her report cards. Can you get it?”
“Of course. Did you really have a doubt?”
“No. I owe you, Hack.”
“Do you realize how much all of you sons of bitches owe me? I will collect one day.”
“And we will pay, gladly. All you have to do is say the word.” I hung up the phone and handed it back to Legend. I looked around the room. “Where is Gavel?”
“I asked him to go to sit with Chink and the girls.”
I pulled out my phone and dialed his number. “Get away from the girls. I need to ask you a question,” I said as soon as he came on the line.
“What’s going on?”
“Did you know McKenzie gave birth to a girl?”
“No. Where is the kid?”
“Hack is looking into it. I just needed to know if you knew. Grit will fill you in later.” I hung up, not bothering to say goodbye. “We’ve got two of our women that had wrong done to them. It’s time the bastards pay.”
We discussed how we were going to bring the Senator and his son down. They would die, that we knew, but these were two high profile targets that would be surrounded by secret service, and none of us needed to go to jail for killing the bastards.
After the sound of Titan’s bike brought me back to the here and now, I gathered my clothes together and headed back for the bathroom. I had yet to look at myself in the mirror. Even when I was in the hospital, I avoided looking into my own eyes and seeing the damage that no one else could see.
Ember's Burn: A Steel Demons MC Novel Page 5
