I needed her fears, her trust, her everything, but I wanted her to give them freely. As amazing as last night had been, I wanted her sweet submission, and, in time, I would have it.
“No, you didn't.”
“I-I understand.”
She turned and started for the door. “Stop.” She did as I commanded, her spine stiffened, but she didn't move any further toward the door. “Come here, McKenzie, and explain to me exactly what you think you understand.”
I saw her tremble, but she turned and moved toward me again, stopping on the other side of the kitchen island. Her hands clasped tightly together, holding on to what little control she had left.
“You saw the video. I don't have to tell you what happened.”
“No, you don't, but what I saw reflects badly on them, not you.”
“It's not right… How could that happen? It's disgusting.”
Her revulsion was turned on herself. My confusion mounted. She didn't do anything wrong, the bastards all forced themselves on her. She said no, she screamed no, so many times. She begged for them to stop, she begged for death, so why she felt ashamed I wasn't sure.
“Yes, it's disgusting.” Her eyes closed in defeat. “It's disgusting, and it never should have happened. Richards and his son signed their death warrants the minute they touched you. If Price wasn't already dead, he'd be on that list too. All of what I saw was disgusting, so why don't you tell me what part you are talking about?”
I wanted to take her in my arms and hold her, ease her pain any way I could, but right now, she didn't need my tenderness, she needed my strength.
“I-I shouldn't have.” She shook her head. “I don't know why I did. I remember everything from that night, Titan, and it haunts me. I hate myself, my body for betraying me.”
“What happened that I didn't see?” She needed to voice it, confront it, before she could move past it. They had forced orgasms on her, and she was shamed by that, but she shouldn't be. “Answer me.” She needed to get it out, then I could soothe her.
“I had an orgasm dammit! I was raped repeatedly… and for whatever reason my body responded. It's disgusting. Why would any man want me after I could come in that situation? It's fucked up!” Her eyes flashed defiantly at me, Ember stood before me, gone was McKenzie, the broken woman, desperate to be fixed. Here stood Ember in all her defiant glory. McKenzie’s mask was in place, but her eyes couldn't lie.
“Stand still. Don't talk, unless I ask a question,” I told her, my voice gruff. It was time to show her everything, the part of me I'd held back the night before. I walked behind her and placed my hands outside of hers on the counter, caging her small frame in. She shivered in response to my nearness. “That shiver, could you help that?”
“No.” She leaned into my chest, trapping the heat of our bodies between us.
I looked over her shoulder to her chest. Her nipples were clearly outlined against the fabric of her shirt. “Your breathing has picked up, your pulse is pounding.” I bent down and nudged my nose against the throbbing pulse in her neck before lightly kissing the steady beat and she whimpered. “And, baby, your nipples are hard, ready for me.” I flattened her palms on the countertop and ran my hands slowly up her bare forearms until my hands were even with those pert nipples. I cupped her globes and tweaked the hard nubs through her clothes. She went off like a light, her body shuddered hard and she groaned her need. “You couldn't help that, baby. Your pussy is wet for me right now, isn't it?”
“Yes.”
“Could you stop that from happening?”
“No.”
“It's mechanics, honey, you couldn't stop your response to me any more than you could stop your body from doing what it was designed to do. We are sexual creatures, McKenzie, our bodies are going to react to sex no matter what. You weren't disgusting, they were.”
“But, I didn’t want it, not like-” She cut herself off, but I wasn’t about to let her back out of it now.
“Not like what?” I whispered against her ear.
“Not like I want you.”
With her whispered words, I spun her around and kissed her. Her sweet taste calmed the last of the anger I felt when I woke up alone.
“I'm not holding back anymore, McKenzie. No more running.” She nodded her head, consenting and accepting, but that wasn't good enough. I snaked my hand behind her head and clasped her hair in my fist holding her head steady. The slight pull from my hold made her moan and her breath catch. “I want the words, McKenzie, ‘no more running’.”
Her eyes slid closed and her lips parted softly as she spoke. “No more running.”
I kissed her lips hard, but broke the kiss before I was tempted to deepen it further. This was not the place for me to take control and show her what I had in store for her. Not yet, at least. Our home would be finished with our bed ready and waiting before I christened every fucking surface of it and we fell asleep in our bed, too tired to even take a shower. My cock was hard behind my fly at the thought, but I ignored it, for now.
Instead, I grabbed the flash drive and shoved it in my pocket, took her hand and led her to my bike. There was only one place to go where I'd be able to take control and give her the last bit of freedom she needed: the club.
McKenzie’s arms around me as she held on was foreplay, it kept my cock hard and my body tight with need. I controlled the bike and her, she just held on, trusting me. She would need to trust me a whole lot more before the night was through, but by the end of it, I hoped she would feel free from her past and her pain. I pulled up in front of the club. Ma was there with Gavel, they were talking and standing close. She glanced over at me, her smile filled with relief seeing McKenzie and me together. “Ma, can you tell Grit to hold Phoenix off until dinner. Have them meet us at the restaurant. We’ll all go out tonight.”
“What time?”
I looked at my phone, it was just after four. “Seven, that should give me some time.” I looked at Gavel. “You finished in New York?”
“I was the overnight delivery service. I'm headed back tomorrow morning. Hack will probably spend the night enjoying the city.” His eyes moved to McKenzie. “You ok, baby girl?” I watched the look on her face, and let go of her hand. She went to Gavel as soon as I released her. He pulled her into a bear hug, wrapping her tightly in his arms. Her cheek was pressed to his chest, her eyes were closed, and tears streamed from her eyes. Gavel’s own eyes were suspiciously wet as well. “Don't do that to me again.” His voice cracked with emotion.
“I won't.”
Gavel kissed the top of her head and released her from his hold. “Your man needs you.”
McKenzie made her way back to me, and Gavel wrapped his arm around my mother again, pulling her close. It was a little odd seeing them that way, but at the same time they looked right together. I nodded, sending Gavel a silent statement which, by his nod, he understood.
Ink was on the couch with Erin on his lap. “Ink,” I called out to him. I didn’t tell him what I wanted, but I knew he'd follow regardless. I led McKenzie behind me to my room. She was fine until Ink came through the door and shut it behind him.
“Titan?” Her voice betrayed her nerves.
“Shhhhh.” I tried to calm her. “He can leave if you're more comfortable with that, but I want to show you what I want from you before you make your decision.” I waited for her nod before I moved toward the bed. There I brought out the brand new satin restraints from each side of the bed. I pulled out a blindfold and placed it on the pillow. I looked at McKenzie, and her eyes were wide with fear. “I want you to submit to me. I want to be the one in control of your pleasure. What I showed you last night was nothing compared to where I can take your body when I'm in control of it. I brought Ink in here because I want you to know you have a safety net. You trust him, behind Gavel, Grit, and me, you trust Ink won't let any harm come to you. If you didn't, you wouldn't have let yourself fall asleep on his table.”
“I
don't want to be hurt.”
"McKenzie, I'm not interested in hurting you or making you do something you're not comfortable doing. I do, however, want you at my mercy. I want control over your pleasure. I don't care if we have an audience or it's just us. As long as that tight, hot, wet pussy drips only for me, and it ends with you screaming my name as you come.
“It's your choice, Sweetheart. Does Ink stay or go?”
My mind was screaming at me to run, but at the same time everything else in me was already bending to him.
“Ink.” I paused and took note of the flicker of disappointment in Titan’s eyes. He said he'd have Ink here for my comfort, but he didn't want him here. He wanted my trust, all of it. I took a deep breath then whispered the words that terrified me, but I knew what he wanted said, what needed to be said. “Ink can go.”
As silently as he entered the room, he left it. “Thank you, McKenzie.” Titan’s voice was low, and full of desire.
“Just promise me, no pain.” I still feared the unknown, and my mind was still a mass of fears, reservations, bad memories, and worry, but there was also desire and this magnetic pull that I've had to Titan from the beginning. I fought it. I fought it so hard, but damned if the more I fought and resisted, the more I felt bound to him.
“Remember what I told you last night? Pain should never be outside the realm of pleasure. You can find pleasure in pain, McKenzie, but finding the pleasure within pain isn't my goal with you, not yet at least.” He grinned and my core melted.
“What is your goal now?”
“To have your trust, to seduce your mind and body, and to claim you as mine. When I have your submission, then I will teach you how painfully sweet sex can be.”
Titan’s words, delivered in that low timber of his, coupled with the unmasked desire in his eyes, made me shiver and yearn for something I didn't understand. All I knew was, right then, he was the predator, and I was the prey he wanted to devour. It excited me, and I realized I wanted to be consumed by him.
“Will you submit to me, McKenzie?”
The desire and need unfurling within me left me with only one answer. The one I knew he wanted and I needed. “Yes.”
He cupped my face with one hand and ran his thumb across my cheek bone. “Good girl.”
Why those two words pleased me, I have no idea. I should have been offended by them, at the very least embarrassed by them, instead I melted and felt pride at his praise. My eyes closed and I bowed my head in shame at my response.
Titan crooked his finger and brought my chin up. “Open your eyes, Ember.” I obeyed and looked into his piercing blue gaze. “Don't be embarrassed by your submission, or the pride you feel when you please me. It takes great courage, control, and trust to give power over to someone else, and you'll find that giving over your power gives you all the power and control you need.” He kissed my forehead gently, then pulled away.
“You called me Ember.”
“Yes.” He cupped my neck with his hand and used his thumb to caress my jaw, the gentle touch sent shivers through me.
“Why?”
“Because I’m going to make you burn.” He captured my lips in a long, drugging kiss. His hand slid down my body to my waist. “Get undressed and lie on the bed.”
He stepped back from me, leaning against the door and watching as I obeyed his command. My fingers trembled as unbuttoned my shirt. I watched him watching me. With each button I pushed through the hole, my breath rose and fell. The night before gave me the excitement, but the unknown kindled the fear. I dropped my shirt to the floor, my full breasts were straining against my bra. My nipples already rock hard beneath the thin fabric.
“Now, Ember,” he said when I just stopped to stare at him. His tone brooked no argument and sent goose flesh across my skin.
I unhooked my bra and let it fall next to my shirt. My pants, shoes, and socks came next. I was in nothing but a pair of green panties, the high legs made the fabric cut across the cheeks of my butt, and the lace was delicate and feminine.
“Stop,” he commanded. “Those I want you to leave on. Lie down in the middle of the bed.”
I followed his instructions, my pulse was thundering through my veins, fear and excitement coursing through me with every beat of my heart.
I watched as he stripped his shirt off. His jeans were low on his hips, and his muscles rippled with every movement and flex of his body. I remember my thoughts the first time I saw him, close cropped blond hair, blue soul-searching eyes, and the body of a professional athlete. I liked looking at him, and maybe I fantasized about him a time or two, but I never thought I’d let myself have him. Never thought I’d allow myself to trust or need him, but I did. I needed him to fill in ache in me that nobody else could.
He moved toward the head of the bed. He took the satin cuffs that connected under the bed and secured each of my wrists to the bed, leaving me unable to move – as fear started to grip me. My arms were spread wide. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself. Trying to not let the past in.
“Focus, on the differences, baby.”
I opened my eyes and looked at him. He read my body, my fear, my mind. I took another deep, shuddering breath and did as he told me. I focused on the softness of the bed, the cuffs were soft, velvet. They weren’t tight and biting into my wrists or chafing the tender skin beneath them. Titan was gentle as he took one ankle, then the other, as he bound them like he had my wrists. I pulled against all the tethers and I could go nowhere. It was a mistake to test the restraints because it sent me into a panic.
When my breath got shorter, he sat beside me and ran his thumb across my cheek. “Shhhhh, Ember, I’m here. I’ve got you, focus on me. I’m not doing anything to you tonight but getting you used to the restraints and pleasure. I won’t blindfold you because I want you to stay calm, but I do want you to keep your eyes closed. Do you understand me?”
He wasn't going to use the blindfold. I could still open my eyes and see what was going on, if I needed to. Titan was trying to make sure I stayed calm and comfortable, the fact he was so in tune with my body and what I needed, helped me calm down. “Yes,” I whispered.
“Close your eyes, baby.”
I could hear him moving around and I wanted to look, but I didn’t want him to blindfold me, so I kept myself calm and just listened as he moved. I heard a faint buzz, then squealed when I felt the curved, vibrating plastic against the bottom of my foot, before it moved farther up. His low, deep voice soothed me.
“You were asleep the first time I saw you. In your hand, you had a bottle of tequila you and Phoenix shared the night before. Your hair was a mess and you were snoring softly. I knew then, McKenzie, that you were going to be mine.
All the while he was talking, he was massaging and running the vibrating plastic against my foot, moving up to my calf, heading toward my thighs. I squirmed against the sensations the vibration caused. My muscles melting beneath the deep, messaging pressure. I groaned as he worked my calf, my toes pointed as the muscle in my leg lengthened. I was relaxing into his massage, enjoying and relishing every moment. His words were almost lost on me.
“Yes,” I said as the vibrations were taken up my thigh, closer to my melting core. I squirmed against the bed, trying to get him to move the vibration where I wanted it, needed it, but he moved to the other leg, giving it the same thorough massage. By the time he reached my other thigh, my pussy was soaked, my body ready and aching.
“Jason,” I moaned when he skipped over my pussy, and the vibrations cut off.
“Just feel.” The next thing I know something cold is placed against my nipple. My eyes flew open, sure enough, it was ice. “You opened your eyes, I've got to blindfold you, baby.”
“No, I'm sorry, I won't do it again.”
“Baby, it's natural to want to look when you have a new sensation, but you lose something when you know what's happening. Do you trust me enough to find out, Ember?”
I
swallowed hard, not sure if I was ready for what he was asking of me. “Yes.”
“Good girl.”
I looked into his eyes, and nodded. My nerves were high, but everything he'd done so far felt so amazingly good that my curiosity and my trust in this man overrode my fears.
He slipped the satin blindfold over my eyes, rendering me completely sightless. Titan moved away again, and when he came back, he picked up where he left off. The ice was back against my nipple, the cold cube turning into icy liquid against my heated flesh. Liquid ran down the curves of my breasts, Titan’s warm tongue lapped it up. I shuddered as the heat and cold sensations clashed.
I wanted to hold and guide his head to my frozen nipple, but with my hands bound, I couldn't get the touch where I wanted it. I moved my body against him, but he just held on and danced his tongue and teeth around the tip, licking and nipping at my breast.
Another full piece of ice was placed against my other breast as his mouth found my nipple. I cried out his name as the shocking, contradicting sensations pushed me closer to orgasm. When his teeth lightly bit down on my nipple, I was pushed over the peak. My body contracted as I came, soaking my panties further.
“When I have you fully trained, Ember,” he flicked my nipple with his tongue, “you will learn to control that and not come without permission.”
His mouth switched nipples and I sighed at the warm tugging of his mouth. My hips bucked wildly, but the restraints held me in place. My hands wrapped around the soft, braided cord. As he molded and sucked on my breasts, my body rose higher. I was so close to coming again, but he backed away. I groaned in frustration. Titan chuckled from across the room.
“Turnabout is fair play,” I said, trying to catch my breath.
“Ember, don't threaten me. I control this, not you. Normally, that response would warrant a punishment, but since you are new to this, I'll let it slide. Don't,” he enforced the word, causing me to shiver, “let it happen again.”
Ember's Burn: A Steel Demons MC Novel Page 14
