ALEX
Alex clicked the reply button to the e-mail Rita had sent her, then closed the e-mail window altogether. She’d repeated this process five times already. She’d read Rita’s e-mail about a hundred times, even though she knew it by heart by now.
Rita confessed to having been a heartless bitch. She’d taken Alex for granted for too long. She’d acted as if nothing could touch her. She’d never forgive herself for hurting Alex the way she did.
But just because Rita was coming to terms with her mistakes, Alex shouldn’t. Still, there was that tug. It had started deep inside of her. Not immediately after receiving the e-mail. Anger had come first—a crash of blind rage rushing through Alex’s blood. Who did Rita think she was? Casting Alex aside like that and then trying to weasel her way back in with an e-mail. But this was Rita and, try as she might, Alex couldn’t ignore her. Not forever. Not when the words blinking on the screen spoke of enduring love and endless regret.
Alex had Maddie now. She could be strong. She found herself in a good position to face Rita. She could have the upper hand in this. And it might be exactly what she needed.
Alex started typing and, despite the hammering of her heart, she knew she was doing the right thing. Not for Rita. Definitely not for Maddie, who Alex had kept in the dark about Rita’s message, but for herself. She could face her fear head on. She’d meet Rita, stare her straight in the eyes and tell her to go to hell.
Thursday after my evening class. The Rambler at 9.30 p.m. It was as simple as that. Alex was confronting Rita four months after their brutal break-up. She’d have to pick up some extra classes this week, to burn off the stress.
Apart from when she’d just received the e-mail, the topic of Rita had been left untouched between her and Nat. This was Alex’s private battle—and she knew what Nat would say, anyway. Alex had contemplated telling Maddie, but she couldn’t see the point. She tried to keep conversation about Rita to a minimum in any circumstance. She didn’t want what she had with Maddie to be tainted by tales of what Rita had done to her and how incredibly inadequate it had made her feel. Rita was the past, Maddie the future.
Alex flipped her laptop shut, gathered some clean underwear in her backpack and made her way to Maddie’s floor.
* * *
“Let’s do the Dragon’s Back tomorrow.” Alex glanced at her three table companions who were all indulging in too much wine. “It’s one of the easier hikes in Hong Kong.”
“Don’t you have family dim sum?” Maddie, who’d probably drained a bottle all by herself, slipped her hand on Alex’s thigh.
“That was last week, babe.” Alex remembered how Maddie had tried to corner her. It had only resulted in a half-hearted attempt at trying to make her open up about Rita and Maddie had soon abandoned her efforts when she’d sensed Alex’s reluctance. Maybe we can talk about her after Thursday, Alex thought. Maybe I’ll be able to deal with it then.
“Easier? You are taking the more advanced age of our companions into consideration, I hope? I’ve done it a couple of times and it nearly killed me.” Nat raised her eyebrows. “Language is my thing and easy is not the right word to describe the path running over that mountain.”
Alex needed action. As much as her body needed the rest, she couldn’t bear the thought of a lazy Sunday afternoon. Exercising was the only activity capable of putting a stop to the endless churning of her brain. Had she made the right decision? What would Rita say? Should she tell Maddie? “Children do it. Pensioners do it. Everyone does it. You all belong to an excellent gym which keeps you in great shape. All that’s left to do is go easy on the wine.”
Nat reached for the bottle and topped up Alex’s glass. Alex let her, she wouldn’t drink it and that way it didn’t end up in Maddie’s glass.
“I’ve tackled the Dragon’s Back many times. Admittedly, it has been a while, but I’d love to do it again. It’s a wonderful Sunday afternoon activity in winter.” Isabella smiled at Alex. “Good plan.” She turned to Nat. “I’ll show the ageists how it’s done.”
“You don’t have to prove anything to me, darling.” Nat shot Isabella a wink. “I’m well acquainted with your high levels of endurance by now.”
“That just leaves me then.” Maddie started to slur her words. If she didn’t stop drinking soon she would never make it to the top tomorrow. “I’m a Dragon’s Back virgin, I’m afraid. In fact, in all the time I’ve been here I’ve only been on one hike and that was the one across Lamma Island.”
“That’s not a hike,” Isabella, a seasoned walker, said. “That’s a leisurely stroll.”
Maddie turned to face Alex. “I trust you only have my best interests at heart.”
Alex pondered this statement for a second. She wasn’t planning to climb this mountain to benefit Maddie’s health. This was a purely selfish activity, set up only to take her mind off Rita. “I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
The look in Maddie’s watery eyes brimmed with love. “I know you will.”
MADDIE
The hike was a bad idea. Maddie’s temples throbbed, her calves burned and she had a foul taste in her mouth. Yet, the view was almost worth it.
While the others seemed to float upwards along the narrow, steep trail, their feet barely touching the ground at an ungodly pace, Maddie lagged behind more and more. Alex waited for her at regular intervals, but Maddie felt increasingly alone in the staggering landscape of green mountains and indigo sea.
“Bad legs today, Madison?” Isabella asked, a self-righteous smile on her face.
Maddie loved her friend dearly, but she felt so miserable, so out of touch with everything they were enjoying, she limited her reply to a low grunt.
“Clearly your girlfriend hasn’t been working you hard enough.” Nat put a hand on Isabella’s shoulder. “I, on the other hand, am extremely proud of mine.”
They both stood there gloating, basking in the improbable love they’d come to share. They truly were the oddest couple ever.
“Come on, babe.” Alex shuffled a little closer. “The worst is over now.”
“You said that last time we stopped, before this hike turned into actual rock climbing.” Maddie had caught her breath and was able to string sentences together again.
Alex grabbed her hand and pulled her up. “Look at this.” Alex waved her arm in front of the splendour below them. White-tipped waves crashing to shore and wet-suited surfers trying to catch them. Endless forests in all shades of green stretched away from them. “Aren’t you glad you decided to stay in Hong Kong when you see this.”
“I didn’t stay for this.” Maddie curled her arms around Alex’s waist. “I stayed for you.”
Alex inched closer until their bellies touched, Alex’s rock hard abs brushing against Maddie’s irregularly heaving abdomen while she recovered from the effort. “I love you.”
There was an intensity in the way she said it Maddie hadn’t noticed before, an urgency to her words previously hidden—or non-existent.
“I love you too, baby, but I’ll love you even more once you’ve gotten me off this mountain in one piece.”
“How much more are we talking about?” Alex nuzzled her lips against Maddie’s neck.
“Hey, lovebirds.” Nat’s voice cut through their tender moment. “If we want to see those surfers up close before dark, we’d better get going.”
Maddie’s mouth fell open in desperation. The surfers seemed impossibly far away.
“It’s mostly downhill.” Isabella could always read the distress on Maddie’s face. “Before you know it we’ll be listening to the roar of the waves with a cold beer in our hands.”
“Best not mention any alcoholic beverages.” Alex gently squeezed Maddie’s neck before letting go off her. “Come on, I’ll walk behind you. We’ll let them get away from us and enjoy a romantic walk down. Just the two of us.”
Butterflies flapped their wings in Maddie’s stomach. She searched for Alex’s hand and didn’t intend to let go of it any tim
e soon. Her body was in ruins after too much wine last night and the unexpectedly steep climb over uneven, treacherous mountain paths, but she had Alex and as long as she had someone as strong and capable as Alex by her side, she would be all right.
Together, they made it down, Nat and Isabella mere dots in the distance whenever the path ran straight long enough. Maddie had already been convinced of her feelings for Alex before she’d climbed the Dragon’s Back, but came down the mountain with everything she felt reconfirmed and strengthened.
The disobedient curl that kept leaping free from Alex’s pony tail and jumped up and down on her forehead. Her athletic hands on Maddie’s back when they crossed a particularly difficult stretch of rocks. The way her abs stood out beneath her top when she twisted her body sideways and the immediate effect it had on Maddie. The sweet words of encouragement she had whispered in her ear on the final short climb to the beach. Despite her hangover, it was a gorgeous day and Maddie felt privileged to spend it with the most beautiful woman she knew—and she got to take her home afterwards as well.
Nat and Isabella had already started on their second bottle of San Miguel by the time Alex and Maddie arrived. Maddie crashed down in a chair, her gaze planted on the horizon, and she wondered what had caused her to experience this level of happiness so suddenly and unexpectedly. Mere weeks ago she was fumbling with a married woman in her office, deciding on whether to stay or not. Now she sat in one of the prettiest spots of Hong Kong, the sun setting behind her, after having climbed a mountain with the woman she loved more than anything.
She looked at Alex and she knew. She laughed away a tear—the sheer force of her smile enough to make it back down—and clinked the neck of her bottle against Alex’s. This was love, the real kind, the lasting kind. She’d come a long way to find it, but here she was.
ALEX
Alex tried to swallow the tightness out of her throat. It didn’t work. Rita’s upper lip still curved deliciously upward and the blue of her eyes shone as crystal clear as ever. Adrenalin sped through her veins as Alex approached the low table where Rita sat, one long leg slung over the other.
“Hey,” Alex said and everything that came before just fell away. Tears too strong to be ignored stung her eyelids as she crashed into the chair opposite Rita. “I probably shouldn’t have come.”
Rita clasped her hands in front of her mouth and pierced more of Alex’s resolve with those unblinking eyes. She breathed heavily through her nose and shook her head.
“You have no idea how sorry I am,” she said through spread-out fingers barricading her lips. “I am so sorry.”
Alex tried to hold on to thoughts of Maddie, of her radiant smile and softly whispered hellos in the morning, but they seemed to evaporate at the mere sight of Rita. As if Rita was the real deal and Maddie a copy, an expertly made one, but still just a copy of the woman sitting in front of her and tearing her heart to shreds again with a few words.
Alex scrambled for her bag which had fallen to the floor when she sat down and pushed herself up. “This…” She shook her head. “No…” It was all she could muster, all her constricted throat allowed to pass through.
Rita shot up out of her chair and curled her fingers around Alex’s wrist, squeezing with gentle firmness—the way she always did. “Please.” Her voice trembled. “Stay.”
The touch of Rita’s skin on hers quickened Alex’s pulse, making her heart thump in her temples. Alex looked down at Rita’s hand, its fingers so long and perfect. The pleasure they had given her. How they had made her surrender for years on end. Six years and then this. Walking away was not an option.
“Let’s go somewhere more private.” The emotions coursing through Alex were not meant for public display. There was some serious crying to be done. And shouting at this woman who had taken it all from her.
“I still live around the corner.” Rita’s fingers lingered around Alex’s wrist, but more limp than Alex had ever felt them.
Alex nodded and walked out of the bar. Rita left some bills on the table to pay for her over-priced glass of Sauvignon Blanc. At least she hadn’t had the audacity to order a bottle.
The sound of Rita’s heels clacking on the pavement echoed through Alex’s skull. She couldn’t think, only feel. This had to be done. Whatever it was. Whatever would happen. Rita had to repent, despite not being the repenting type by a long shot.
The doorman smiled broadly at Alex. She had lived in this building for three years. She’d made Rita’s apartment her own. It had been their home. Alex shot him an apologetic grin.
The elevator ride to the thirty-fifth floor was awkward but swift. Alex had grown up in a city full of tall buildings and had learned to hide her mental state in elevators from a young age. Instead of looking at Rita, she scanned her own reflection in the mirror.
What did that Mandarin teacher have that she didn’t? It was the one question that had plagued Alex incessantly after their break-up. Why had she suddenly not been good enough anymore?
Alex’s breath hitched in her throat when she entered Rita’s apartment. Everything looked exactly the same as on the day she’d left. An ocean of memories flooded her brain. Rita kicking off her heels after a long day at work, her body slackening but her eyes still full of fire. Rita leaning with her back against the balcony window, demanding that Alex strip just by gazing into her eyes. Rita’s hot body covering her from the back while she pushed Alex into the cold glass of the windows, naked and on display for anyone whose eyes happened to venture to their lit-up flat.
The tension seemed to drop from Rita’s muscles now she found herself on home turf. She untied her hair and let it fall to her shoulders like a soft golden curtain.
“Please, sit.” She walked to the wine fridge and pulled out a bottle of Oyster Bay. “Would you like some?”
Alex nodded eagerly. She approached the sofa and couldn’t help picturing Rita and Peggy on it. Peggy’s naked body splayed out under Rita while she did her thing. Peggy taking Alex’s place. Alex sat down on the corner edge, not wanting to associate her body with anything that happened on the grey cushions after her time on them was done.
“Here you go.” Rita handed her a glass of wine and pulled an ottoman closer. She sat down and stared Alex straight in the face. “I made a terrible mistake. Not one I can ever make right. I do realise that.”
“Why?” Alex mumbled. “Why did you do it?”
Rita took a deep breath. “If only I knew.” Her eyes grew moist and her knuckles turned white as she clenched her fingers around the stem of her glass. “Because I’m weak. And foolish. And only half the woman you are.”
“I did everything you asked me to.” Alex’s voice cracked. “Everything.”
“I know, baby. I know. I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you. Never.” Rita wiped the beginning of a tear from her eye.
“I presume you stopped taking Mandarin classes.”
“Peggy and I are no longer seeing each other.” Rita sat her glass on the coffee table and inched closer. “She had nothing on you. It was a silly infatuation. I certainly never loved her the way I loved you…still love you.”
“You loved her enough to cheat on me for weeks.” Anger swept through Alex’s bones. Months of frustration trembled in her voice. “You were the one for me, Rita. The only one. I’ve never loved anyone…” Tears took over from words. They streamed down her face and landed with fat thuds in the wine Rita had poured her.
Rita took the glass from her hand and deposited it on the floor. She grabbed Alex’s hands and buried them in hers. Warmth spread across Alex’s skin and she looked up until her eyes found Rita’s.
“I know.” Rita’s voice broke as her hands crept up Alex’s arms. “I’ll do whatever it takes.”
Alex couldn’t speak. After her initial anger over Rita’s infidelity had made way for deep sadness, she’d dreamed of Rita saying those words. Now she was sitting in front of her uttering them, her eyes brimming with tears and her nails digging into Alex’s b
iceps, they felt so meaningless and empty.
“Fuck you, Rita,” Alex whispered, but it was loud enough to startle her ex-girlfriend. “When you destroy something as pure and powerful as the love we shared, it’s gone forever. There is no going back and there is absolutely nothing you can do.” Alex shook Rita’s hands off her. “You can sit here and shed a little tear and feel all remorseful, but it doesn’t change anything. You broke my heart and my trust and I will never feel the same way about you again.”
“I don’t expect you to. I just want—”
“I don’t care about what you want.” Alex rose. “And by the way, I’m seeing someone.”
Alex cast one more glance at Rita’s flabbergasted face before heading for the door and banging it shut behind her. She had to steady herself against the wall while waiting for the elevator and, adrenalin pumping through her blood, prayed Rita wouldn’t come after her.
Once inside the safety of the steel lift cabin, she exhaled, taking in the red patches of skin on her face, and thought of Maddie. Sweet Maddie who had rescued her from the post-Rita blues. Alex looked her mirror image in the eye and wondered if Maddie could ever be enough.
MADDIE
The signal beeped in Maddie’s ear. She launched the receiver back into its cradle with a loud sigh of frustration. Alex’s evening class was finished by now and it wasn’t like her to ignore her phone, let alone a call from Maddie. She just wanted to hear Alex’s voice for a few minutes while waiting for her ten p.m. conference call with the New York office. She should have gone home and taken it there instead, but by the time she realised her call was only half an hour away, she figured she may as well stay in the office and get some more work done.
It was five to ten and she tried again. Long, taunting beeps rang in her ear. Maybe Alex forgot her mobile in the gym. Or perhaps she had better things to do than answer a call from her girlfriend. That’s what they were now—girlfriends. Their affair was not a slow burn. It was full on from the beginning. Both of them desperate to leave mistakes from the past behind and launch themselves into this new romance as if everything depended on it. As if new love could undo former heartbreak.
No Ordinary Love (High Rise Novella Three) Page 2
