by Merry Farmer
She reached the podium and smiled at the applause that greeted her. “Ladies and gentlemen,” she began her valedictory speech. “Faculty, staff, family, and friends. When we think back on all the great discoveries that have been made in the world of science and engineering, certain images come to mind. Monoliths of modern technology. Rockets that have broken the boundaries of this earth. Dreams of the future, and paragons of the past.” She changed her stance. “So I bet you didn’t expect to see a woman of color up here speaking to you today.”
A ripple of laughter passed over the audience. She encouraged it with a smile, setting people at ease with a skill that had always come naturally to her, whether she deserved it or not. She fought to keep from looking at Dennis, judging what he thought of her.
“But I stand before you today not as a novelty or a cute little side-show to the real advances mankind is capable of. I am here as a testament to perseverance, a model of what can happen when you dream bigger than anyone around you can imagine, and when you fight for those dreams with your whole heart. Because what is the advancement of science but pushing the way we see things beyond the limitations of what has been true in the past? What is discovery but the results of shedding outmoded ways of thought in favor of a belief that anything is possible, and the answers to all our questions are out there for the finding, if we have the grit to go after them?
“Ladies and gentlemen, I stand here before you today not as something new and unique, but as a personification of everything that scientific endeavor has represented since man- and womankind looked up at the stars and wondered what was out there.”
She’d taken so much time and care in writing her speech. There were so many weights on her shoulders, from the burden of representing her race and her gender all the way down to the much heavier weight of making her mom proud. That much was easy. Her mama smiled at her from the row right in front of Dennis, full of pride. But all of her words, all of the sights and sounds around her blending into a buzz in the background, couldn’t make up for the ache that kept spreading through her, all because Dennis Long had showed up when she least expected him. If she hadn’t had the words of her speech written out and safe on the podium in front of her, she didn’t know what she’d say. Not with Dennis there.
She appealed to the audience not to crush the dreams of young people by telling them they couldn’t do what they dreamed of because of their background, their income, their gender, or their disabilities. But she knew full well that the girl she’d been had stepped on Dennis’s dreams on a daily basis. Her gaze kept zipping back to Dennis. He watched her with a blank expression. She spoke aloud about the importance of encouraging children, but all she could think about was the bully she’d been, pushing him down emotionally every time he’d come to her wanting nothing but friendship. By the time she reached the carefully crafted end of her speech, smiling and nodding at the rush of applause that followed, her heart was about ready to break.
She couldn’t get back to her seat fast enough, as the dean’s congratulations brought with them another round of acknowledgment from the crowd. She had so much to make up for, so much to apologize for. Knowing it was coming didn’t make it any easier. And here she thought she’d come face to face with Dennis again in the meeting room of one of the nice, tasteful hotels downtown. Nope. It looked like what needed to happen was about to happen in the middle of an auditorium of family and colleagues.
She walked across the stage to receive her diploma. Almost eight years of intensive post-graduate study, internships, and dedication, and all she could think about was leaving the stage and getting to Dennis. She had no idea what she’d say to him when they were face to face. I’m sorry? I was a little bitch back then? It’s hard to swim against the crowd when your social standing depends on it? Nothing she came up with sounded right in her mind.
When it was over, diploma in hand, she marched off the stage with the rest of the men and women receiving their degrees, out of the auditorium and into the foyer where family and friends would come to mingle with them. At last, her smile dropped. She moved to the side and craned her neck, waiting for Dennis to come out. Waiting. Like she’d been waiting for so long to…to what? Explain herself? Ask for forgiveness?
At last, several inches above everyone else, Dennis walked out through the auditorium doors, her mom on one side, Leon on the other. Angelica’s heart shot to her throat. There was a decent chance she might be sick, but she was a coward if she let that stop her. Her mom spotted her, said something to Dennis, and pointed to where she stood.
Dennis glanced up and met her eyes. Prickles broke out on Angelica’s skin. She waved, took a step forward, moved to—
“Miss Jones, what a fantastic valedictory.” The shock of being stopped just when she’d worked up the gumption to face Dennis took years off Angelica’s life. She turned to find a middle-aged man in an expensive suit smiling at her.
“Thank you,” she said by rote. “And you are?”
The man reached out a hand. She spotted the insignia pin on his lapel just as he said, “Nathan Holstein, from NASA. Don’t worry, I didn’t expect you to recognize someone you’ve only talked to on the phone.”
“Oh, right. Mr. Holstein.” As important as it was, and as hard as she tried, Angelica could only barely crack a smile. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted her mom dragging Dennis toward her, Leon practically pushing from behind. Dennis didn’t look happy. In fact, he looked—
“I was wondering if you’d given any more thought to our offer,” Nathan blasted into her chaotic thoughts once more.
“Your offer, yes,” she repeated.
Nathan’s face brightened. “It that a yes-yes? Can we expect you in Houston soon, then?”
“What?” Angelica’s eyes widened. “Oh, I—”
“My baby!” her mom exclaimed as she, Dennis, and Leon dodged their way through the crowd and finally reached Angelica’s side. “You looked lovely up there. I’m so proud of you.” She threw her arms around Angelica in a huge hug.
Angelica squeezed her tight, wanting nothing more in that moment than to hide in her mama’s arms.
“You must be Miss Jones’s mother,” Nathan said, extending a hand. “We’re so pleased that she’s going to be joining us at NASA.”
“Oh, I—” Angelica choked, snapping her wide-eyed gaze to Dennis.
“NASA?” Dennis’s eyes flew wide…moments before his entire expression crumbled.
She hadn’t been in Dennis’s presence for more than half a second, and already she’d hurt him again.
Chapter Two
Dennis’s heart dropped to his feet. “NASA,” he repeated.
His shoulders slumped. All this way. He’d come all this way, clamped between the need to prove he’d become someone and the temptation to fawn over Angelica again, and already he’d lost. Way to make him feel like a teenage dork all over again.
“Well, you were great up there,” he blurted, not sure what he was actually saying. “I’ve, uh, got to get going though, so, um, yeah, I’ll see you.”
He turned to go. Instantly, both Angelica’s mom and Leon yelped in protest. For half a second, Dennis thought that Angelica had called out after him too. Mrs. Jones grabbed his arm and dragged him back into the circle of the conversation.
“Where do you think you’re going, young man?” she said in the same tone of voice she’d used when he’d tried to slink away from block parties after Angelica had snubbed him years ago.
Dennis sent her an apologetic look. His gaze slipped inevitably sideways to Angelica. Only, instead of finding her standing there smirking at him the way she usually had all those years ago, she wore a look that was downright…anxious.
Anxious? That didn’t make sense. Angelica Jones hadn’t been anxious about anything a day in her life. At least, not as far as Dennis remembered. Was there a chance he remembered the past wrong? That and that alone glued his feet to the ground.
“It just looked like I was interrupting so
mething,” he fumbled through some sort of excuse. “I don’t want to be a nuisance.”
Mrs. Jones snorted. “Honey, you were never a nuisance.”
Leon made a teasing noise. “I wouldn’t say that. Remember that summer when Denny and Angie went to rocket camp?” He turned to the NASA guy. “They came back with a bunch of those rockets with the mini engines that cause cancer.”
“They don’t cause cancer,” Dennis rushed to defend his teenage hobby. “They contain some chemicals that may be carcinogenic.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?” Leon laughed.
“Not exactly.”
“Anyhow, the two of them kept shooting those things off at night, waking half the block, and calling the police to the neighborhood,” Leon finished explaining to the NASA guy.
He failed to mention that the reason they had launched the rockets after dark was because Angelica didn’t want her girlfriends to know she had been to rocket camp in the first place, let alone that she had enjoyed herself and liked hanging out with a big doofus like him.
“That shows a spirit of ingenuity at an early age,” the NASA guy said. Dennis instantly hated the way he grinned at Angelica, like he would try to coax her into bed now that he’d already convinced her to join his NASA team. “How old were you then?”
“Twelve,” Angelica answered, her glance flickering to Dennis. “And Mr. Holstein, I think there’s been some sort of a misunderstanding.”
“I bet.” Holstein chuckled. “What, did the cops think there was some kind of gang war breaking out in your neighborhood?”
In a flash, the grins dropped from Mrs. Jones and Leon’s faces. Dennis clenched his hand into a fist at his side, angry that Holstein would disparage his old neighborhood, but even more irate that Angelica would even consider going to work with him.
“I don’t know what you must be thinking,” Mrs. Jones spoke up first, “but our neighborhood is not that kind of place. We’re a community, even in tough times. Nonsense like gangs is not tolerated on our block.”
Angelica turned her head enough to the side for Dennis to see the whole situation was embarrassing her. He saw that tell-tale hint of a blush on her cheeks. It ran riot with his heart.
Holstein, on the other hand, gaped like a fish. “I, uh, oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I was just—”
“It’s all right, Mr. Holstein.” Mrs. Jones held up a hand.
“The misunderstanding is that I haven’t said yes to NASA yet,” Angelica blurted. “That’s the misunderstanding.” She glanced to Dennis.
Silly as it was, a burst of relief hit Dennis. He broke into a dorky grin before he could stop himself. The tension drained from his shoulders.
“I haven’t decided where I’d like to work yet,” Angelica went on, causing him to pucker all over again. “I need more information.”
“Oh. I see. Well, I’d be happy to give you all the information you could want, Miss Jones,” Holstein went on. “Perhaps we could meet for dinner later?”
Dennis cringed, gut twisting. The only thing worse than watching Angelica get hit on by his competitor was the fact that he hadn’t jumped in and asked her out first. He might not have been the hopeless dweeb he’d been as a kid anymore, but that didn’t mean he’d developed brilliant skills with the ladies since then.
Again, Angelica peeked at Dennis. Did he have a giant zit on his face or something? “Yes,” she said hesitantly, focusing back on Holstein. “I’d like to discuss the scope of what NASA believes I could contribute. I—”
The sound of a cell phone ringing cut Angelica off. Holstein held up a finger and reached into his pocket. He tapped his phone and held it to his ear. “Hello?” He paused, then mouthed the words, “One minute,” then turned to step away, saying, “Yeah, the plans have hit a bit of a snag but I can handle it.”
There was no way for Dennis to know for sure if the man was talking about Angelica like that, right in front of her face, but he was more than happy to be pissed off at the man’s rudeness. Of course, the fact that Holstein’s stepping out of the conversation meant that Dennis was face to face with Angelica and couldn’t scrounge up a single thing to say popped a hole in that anger, wilting it to sheer awkwardness.
“So,” he began, then went blank.
“Dennis Long,” she said, nodding, soft lips spreading in a smile. That’s all she said.
Say something, say something, say something. His mind raced, like a cartoon hamster running on a wheel. He could even hear the dinky music playing in the background.
“You’re here,” Angelica went on, gesturing to him. And if he wasn’t mistaken, her gaze raked him from head to toe and back up again.
“Yeah,” he answered.
Leon burst into laughter beside them. “Come on, you two. Aren’t you supposed to be friends?”
“Haven’t seen each other for more than ten years, and that’s the best they can manage?” Mrs. Jones muttered to Leon, then joined him in laughter.
Angelica found her voice first. Her stance changed from tense and birdlike—drawing Dennis’s attention to the fact that she might actually have been nervous to begin with, of all things—to suave and sassy. That was the Angelica he’d known, worshiped, and paid the price for.
“Dennis Long,” she repeated, crossing her arms, her diploma still in one hand. “I thought you weren’t coming into town to pitch Paradise Space Flight until Monday. What are you doing here?”
Dennis shrugged. “I figured I’d come early, catch your graduation, and spend some time visiting.”
“You could have warned me.” She arched one perfect, dark eyebrow.
“I thought you liked surprises.”
“Some of them.” For the second time, she studied him from head to toe. Her appreciative look sent prickles racing across his skin. A normal guy would have had some sort of snappy comeback, would have returned the visual compliment with flirting of his own. But Dennis was pretty sure he turned pink, and if he’d been moving, would have tripped over his feet and fallen on his face. It was still a possibility with him standing still.
“I wanted to tell you all about Paradise Space Flight as soon as possible,” he blurted. He had no idea what to do with his hands. Should he put them in his pockets? Cross his arms? Just let them hang? Dammit, what did you do with your hands in situations like this? “Howard Franklin Haskell IV is an incredible innovator. He has us working not only on rockets that would be able to resupply orbital space stations in half the time, with a third of the cost of conventional supply rockets. But he’s also given us free reign to experiment and innovate spacecraft with the capacity for long-distance flights to Mars and beyond. The level of support for avant garde and experimental research PSF offers is far beyond anything you’ll find in orthodox organizations.”
“Whoa, whoa, down boy.” Angelica held up a hand, stopping Dennis before he could take a breath and sail on with the pitch he’d practiced in his head for weeks. She laughed. The sound brought pleasure and pain with it. The smile she fixed him with left Dennis feeling like he had stepped out into zero gravity. “You haven’t changed at all.”
Disappointment heaped heavily over his shoulders. “I have, actually,” he mumbled before he could stop himself. To erase the stupid comment, he rushed on with, “You’re as beautiful as ever.”
No! That was the stupidest thing he could have said.
Except that Angelica flushed and glanced down. Her dark, curling eyelashes swept against her high cheekbones, and her smile turned downright coy. “I think you’re the only person in the world who doesn’t tick me off by calling me beautiful.”
Dennis blinked. “O-kay?”
She glanced up at him once more. “I hate it when people put looks over brains, but since you have the brains too….” She let her comment drift off without finishing it.
Dennis just stood there. That brain of his had turned to soup. He was highly aware of Leon standing to the side, hand covering his mouth, teasing laughter bright in hi
s eyes. Mrs. Jones was trying to play it much cooler, but her shoulders were shaking with silent laughter. Yeah, he should have known he would make a fool of himself within ten minutes of seeing Angelica again.
The silence stretched on. The loud background noise of families and friends greeting and congratulating the graduates made it even harder to think. In the end, the only words that would come out of his mouth were, “I think your research into space-efficient plasma engines would bring an exciting element to the work my team is already doing on magnetoplasmadynamic thrusters.”
Leon snorted so loud Dennis wondered if he hurt himself. Mrs. Jones let out a laugh and surged forward to hug him. “Oh, baby. I missed you so much!”
Angelica had broken into a smile. A smile that went far deeper than her face, with its perfect skin, white teeth, and dazzling eyes. It was almost as if she were happy to see him, not just because of the job but because of…him.
“Where are you staying?” she asked. “Have you been by the old neighborhood yet?”
“I’m, uh, staying downtown, at the Marriott,” he answered. “And I picked Leon up for the ceremony, but other than that, I haven’t really been home.”
She reached out, cuffing his arm like old times. “You need to come by and see how much things have changed.”
“Things have changed?” The thought of his childhood home being different plucked a painful cord in his chest.
Angelica shrugged, her smile more and more like the sassy girl he’d known. “A little. We’re trying to change it even more.”
“Angelica’s part of the neighborhood renewal council,” Mrs. Jones announced with pride. “She and a bunch of others have been stepping in and renovating some of the old houses. Houses of folks that can’t afford any fancy renovations.”
“Latoya’s in charge,” Leon said, referring to his twin sister.
“Remember Mrs. Brown?” Angelica asked, enthusiasm making her more beautiful than ever.
“The one who used to hand out homemade candy apples with nuts for Halloween?” Dennis nodded.
