by Tanya Bird
‘You mean desperate to get him out of Corneo.’
She held his gaze. ‘I did not arrive with the intention of taking him. It was only when I saw how he was living, how he was being treated, that I acted impulsively.’
‘You acted? It was your knight who acted, was it not?’
There was that dangerous light in his eyes again.
‘He returned, alone, sword in hand, and threatened a man of God,’ Nilos continued. ‘Upon hearing the boy had been taken away, he did not return to you empty-handed but rather pursued him, killing fifteen of my men in the process.’
Fifteen. It was no wonder he had ended up with an arrow in his back. ‘I am sorry about your men, as I said already. It was never my intention—’
He held up a hand to silence her. ‘No, you said it was never our intention.’ His face twitched. ‘I must say, I am amazed that such a well-trained knight would risk his life and reputation to appease the whims of one foreign woman.’
A cold realisation hit her. He knew. Or at the very least he suspected something between them. ‘I was very fortunate that he understood the difficulty of my situation.’
His eyes never left hers. ‘What was the name of this noble knight?’
Her mind raced. Withholding information from Nilos would only make her appear guilty, but she did not want to put a target on Leksi’s back. ‘You can understand my hesitance to share it. The man has my son.’
‘Our son,’ the king said. ‘The man has our son.’
The muscles in her shoulders tightened. ‘Forgive me, but a few days ago, you described him as “a thorn in your side”.’
The king took a step towards her. ‘It seems I have a new thorn in my side—a knight.’
She shook her head dismissively. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Sir Leksi, is it not?’
A cold wave passed through her, followed by heat that burned her cheeks.
The king nodded, as though her reaction confirmed everything.
‘That makes sense. He is Prince Tyron’s right-hand man. He is also one of the few men I know who can ride into an ambush and come out alive.’
‘Yes. He is a strong fighter.’ She had to say something.
‘Tell me,’ Nilos continued, walking over to her, ‘about your visit to Paton. I want to hear all about it.’
Again, she did not trust his tone. ‘As I have already said, we had no great plan. We sat on the hill, ate some food and watched the church, hoping he would appear.’
Nilos nodded, a smile on his face. ‘Lovely. I can really see the imagery, imagine the excitement.’
She frowned. ‘It was more nerves than anything. I had not seen Xander in five years.’
‘Making the moment all the more beautiful. Please, continue.’
She drew a breath. ‘He finally came out of the church, heading to the well for water. Father Gabot had him scrubbing the floor of the church.’
‘A noble task for an orphaned boy.’
She bit the inside of her cheek, determined to remain calm. ‘I was not certain it was him, so I followed. It did not take me long to confirm who he was.’
‘And then Father Gabot arrived, and you told him you were on your way to the flag tournament.’
‘Yes.’
‘With your husband.’
Her breath hitched. ‘I knew a priest would frown upon an unmarried couple travelling unchaperoned.’
Another nod. ‘He would assume the worst.’
‘Yes.’ She concentrated on keeping volume in her voice. ‘We left soon after without a fuss.’
The king folded his arms and thought for a moment. ‘I met him once.’
‘Who?’ she asked, already knowing the answer.
He raised his eyes to her. ‘Your knight. It was a few years back, but I remember him.’
Her mouth was so dry. ‘A loyal friend to the prince.’
He stared at the ground between them. ‘And a good-looking man. He has a way with women. The Companions watched him whenever he was in the room, and the maids fell over themselves to serve him.’
What on earth was she supposed to say to that? ‘I am sure he is not the first war hero to win hearts.’
‘He has quite a reputation.’
‘He was every bit the gentleman in my presence, so I cannot speak of it.’
‘Was he?’ Nilos reached out and ran his thumb over her painted lips. ‘What about when he kissed you?’
She frowned, not about to walk into that trap. ‘You are mistaken.’
‘Are you telling me he never kissed you?’ His hand fell away.
‘No,’ she said plainly. She was hardly going to share those details with a man prone to jealous rage.
He stared at her. ‘Not even at the well? In front of Father Gabot?’
Her expression fell as she realised what he was referring to. Leksi had kissed her at the well while trying to extract her. He had wanted to ensure their married act was convincing. ‘I can barely recall. Perhaps he did. We were posing as a married couple, after all.’
‘You do not remember?’
‘Your Majesty, I was seeing my son for the first time in years. I doubt I noticed anything other than Xander.’
‘Father Gabot is a man of God. Do you think he would lie?’
She opened her hands and tried to relax her shoulders. ‘All right, let us assume there was a kiss. In those circumstances, it meant nothing.’
His fingers curled and uncurled. ‘Nothing?’ He paused. ‘He put his mouth on you.’
She held his gaze, thankful he did not know about all the other places Leksi’s mouth had travelled. ‘So we could leave the village without raising suspicion.’
‘You are not his to kiss.’ He was wrong, of course. She was his alone. ‘What else did he do to you?’
She let out an exasperated breath. ‘Nothing.’
‘All those months together—alone, perhaps. Did he put his hands on you too?’
Yes, every inch of me, she wanted to scream. He washed every trace of you away.
‘I already told you he was very respectful.’
His eyebrows rose. ‘The man is a notorious womaniser.’
‘I am not entirely sure what you want to hear.’ She held out her hands, almost pleading. ‘I can only tell you what I know of him.’
He looked out the window, his jaw working. ‘I want to know how he touched you.’
‘Sir Leksi was under orders—’
He stepped closer so his face was inches from hers. ‘Did he put his hands on you!’ It came out like a roar.
She jumped. Feet shuffled on the other side of the door.
Composing herself, she replied, ‘No, Your Majesty.’ She was still, her heart racing because she had no idea what he would do next.
‘I could practically smell him on you the day you returned.’ His voice was quiet now.
She really wanted to step back from him.
‘Do you know what Father Gabot told me?’ He did not wait for her to answer. ‘The reason he hesitated before sending word to the guards is because the man accompanying you kissed you with such familiarity, he thought you were genuinely in love.’
At some point during that sentence, she stopped breathing. ‘He saw only what we wanted him to see.’
He took her face with both hands, squeezing. ‘There is no we!’
‘No,’ she whispered, suddenly afraid he would snap her jaw. ‘There is only us. You and me.’
He loosened his grip, but he did not let her go. He brought his lips to hers, a possessive, violent kiss. She held his wrists, confused as to whether she should kiss him back or push him away. Finally he pulled back, the paint from her lips colouring his own. He looked like a mad jester.
‘I will kill you before I let another man touch you again.’ His wild eyes bore into hers. ‘Do you understand?’
A nod. ‘I am yours until death. Remember?’ She tried not to choke on the words. ‘I belong to you.’
His hand covere
d her face, pushing her away. She staggered backwards but remained upright.
‘You left me!’ he shouted, hands clenched like an angry child.
‘I came back.’
He began to pace, his face red. ‘No, I brought you back.’
‘Because you love me. I see that now.’ She was desperate to contain the situation.
He did not look at her. ‘You are a liar and a whore.’
She took a step back from his words, realising the conversation could not be turned around. There was nothing she could say, no right answers. This was how it would always be with him—pushing and pulling.
‘Are you at least going to try to deny it?’ he asked.
She felt so tired suddenly. ‘What is the point?’
He stopped walking, dark eyes flashing at her. ‘I see it so plainly now. Of course you fell in love with him. Why else would you trust a man like that with your son? That is why you came to me, begging I leave them be. You are not just protecting the boy, but him also.’ His teeth seemed to creak as he ground them. ‘Tell me I am wrong.’
Tears rolled down her cheeks. There was no winning the argument, so she remained silent. He stared at her, as though daring her to speak.
‘You will stay here,’ he said, his voice calmer now.
Her eyes widened. ‘Do you mean here in this room?’
He turned on his heel and headed for the door.
‘Your Majesty,’ she called to him. ‘For how long?’
He opened the door and faced the guard waiting outside. ‘I want someone watching her at all times. No one in or out without my knowledge.’
The guard glanced at her before replying, ‘Yes, Your Majesty.’
Petra took a few hurried steps towards the door. ‘Nilos, please!’ The door swung shut. ‘It will never work this way.’
The sound of a key turning in the lock made her stop. She clutched her stomach and looked around the bare room.
‘Don’t let that bastard break you.’
Chapter 30
‘Every boy must know how to ride well,’ Leksi said to Xander. He was standing beside his horse in the yard, keeping hold of the bridle while Xander gathered the reins.
‘What about girls?’ asked the boy.
‘And girls too.’
‘Does my mother ride well?’
She knew how to hold on. Leksi fiddled with a strap on the bridle. ‘Ladies who live in castles travel in wagons.’ He reached up, adjusting the boy’s grip on the reins. ‘Your mother, while very brave, does not like to ride alone.’
‘Why?’
Leksi squinted up at him. ‘Between us, I think she might be afraid of horses.’
‘Did she fall off one?’
‘Not that I’m aware of.’
Xander thought for a moment. ‘Is she afraid of cats too?’
Leksi marvelled at the workings of his mind. ‘Not sure about cats. Ready?’
Xander nodded.
‘Big squeeze with your legs. Keep those heels down.’ He led the horse in a circle for a few minutes. Then, once Xander seemed confident, he let go of the bridle and went to stand in the middle of the yard. ‘You’re a natural.’
The boy glanced in his direction. ‘You didn’t come to church this morning.’
Leksi had been rather hungover that morning. ‘I was feeling a little under the weather, but Lady Hali is always more than happy to take you.’
‘She doesn’t like to be called Lady Hali. She says it sounds stuffy.’
Leksi nodded. ‘Fair point.’
Xander fell silent for a moment. ‘Will you come with me tomorrow? To church?’
The thought of attending every morning was too much. ‘God and I are better suited to weekly visitations. Besides, you pray enough for both of us.’
Xander frowned at him. ‘I don’t think God listens to my prayers, but he might listen to yours.’
Leksi studied the boy. ‘Why do you think God isn’t listening?’
‘It’s been so many days.’
Leksi’s gaze dropped to his feet. Xander was waiting for his mother, no doubt eager to get to know her.
The boy faced forwards again. ‘How many days has it been?’
‘Three weeks,’ Leksi replied. ‘Twenty-one days.’ And just one piece of news. She had been at the tournament, on the king’s arm, apparently back in his good graces, according to what Cora had said in her letter to Tyron. It was a casual mention, disguised as gossip for the benefit of her controlling husband.
‘How much longer ’til she comes?’ Xander asked.
He shook his head. ‘I’m afraid I don’t know.’ They were trying to get eyes and ears inside the castle, but no one was prepared to risk their life for it.
He walked over to the horse and it stopped. ‘What I do know is that if there was any way she could be here right now, she would be. She’s been waiting five years to spend time with you.’
‘Is she a prisoner?’
Leksi blinked, and the muscles in his shoulders tensed and released. ‘She’s not locked in a dungeon, if that’s what you’re asking.’ But no one really knew anything for certain. No one knew how long she would remain in the king’s good graces.
‘Maybe she’s waiting for us to come get her,’ Xander said
Leksi patted the boy’s leg, unable to meet his gaze. ‘Trust me, if I could, I would.’
Xander thought for a moment. ‘Why don’t you ask Father Gabot to get her? He knows the king.’
‘I don’t think Father Gabot will be doing me a favour anytime soon.’ He forced his eyes up and took in the boy’s disappointed face. ‘Three weeks might feel like a really long time, but it’s not.’ He was not sure if he was saying that for the boy’s sake or his own. Waiting for news of her was the cruellest form of torture. ‘I’m starving. Shall we go see what Charis has cooked up?’
Xander nodded. ‘What do I need to do?’
Leksi lifted him from the horse and set him on the ground. ‘What do you mean?’
‘To get food? What chores?’
Leksi crouched in front of him, holding his arms. ‘We’ve been over this, remember? We fill our bellies first, and then we have energy to work.’ Xander wore the same guarded expression Petra had in those early days. The resemblance was frightening. ‘Now, you hungry?’
Xander nodded.
Leksi gave his arms a squeeze before standing. ‘Excellent. Let’s go.’
Three weeks became eight. Eight weeks with no news of her.
Eight weeks.
Tyron had returned east with his family, resumed his life and duties there. He wrote to Leksi regularly, enquiring after the two of them. Leksi’s replies were brief and on point. If he was honest, he was terrified his pain would leak onto the page and betray him, that he might actually show cracks for the first time in his life. He had always been strong and resilient, and people expected him to remain solid and unemotional in those situations. So why did his stomach turn and his throat burn whenever he watched the boy pray next to his bed?
He knew something had changed in him when he decided to stop numbing his pain with cheap wine. It was not only the disapproving looks from Hali whenever she visited, her eyes resting briefly on the empty bottles. The final decision was made the night Xander showed up at his bedside in the middle of the night, while he was still drunk.
‘What is it?’ he asked when he was tapped awake by a small shadow. Sitting up, dizzy from drink, he listened for the sound of horses outside while searching in the dark for his sword.
‘Can I sleep with you?’ Xander asked.
Leksi stilled and looked down at the scared boy, remembering when his own mother had died. He used to wait for his father to pass out from drink and then climb into bed with him, sneaking out in the morning before he woke. Before long, he began staying overnight at Archdale, where he had slept on the floor of Tyron’s bedchamber. The queen had turned a blind eye when she learned of the reason why, and as the boys got older, she had eventually organised his own
bedchamber at the castle.
Shuffling over, Leksi patted the bed next to him. ‘Can’t sleep?’
Xander shook his head, climbed in, and was out within moments. The thought of being the drunk father figure Xander would remember later in life was enough to sober him up. When he did eventually see Petra again, he wanted to be able to look her in the eyes and tell her he did the best he could.
‘I’m going to drown,’ Xander said, scrawny limbs wrapping Leksi below the water’s surface.
‘What did I tell you? When I’m here, you’re safe.’ Leksi immediately thought of Petra when he said it. He had told her the same thing, and then he had left her behind to be hunted by dogs. ‘First you must learn how to float.’
Peeling Xander’s legs from his middle, he turned the boy and leaned him back so his head rested on Leksi’s shoulder. He had the same silky hair as his mother.
‘What happens when a wave comes?’
‘You’ll fly over it.’
The boy’s eyes widened. ‘How?’
‘Like this.’ Holding him under the arms, Leksi lifted him high in the air. Xander squealed as a wave crashed around them, then laughed when Leksi spat a fountain of water high into the air before lowering him back into the sea ‘All right, now I need you nice and loose in the water. That’s it. Now push your hips up and spread your arms out.’
‘Don’t let go.’
‘Only when the next wave comes, so I can see how much you’ve learned.’ He laughed when he saw Xander’s frightened expression. ‘I’m joking, I’m joking.’
Xander floated for a few moments before being hoisted into the air once more. More laughter.
‘I think you’re ready to swim to Galen,’ Leksi said, turning the boy to him. Legs wrapped him once more.
‘Galen! You need a ship to get to Galen.’
‘Men who can’t float might need a ship, but not you.’
A wave splashed over them, and Xander wiped water from his grinning face. What a difference just a few months had made.
‘My lord!’
Leksi turned to the shore, where he found Charis waving his arms to get his attention. Another wave crashed over them, making it difficult to hear what he was shouting, but the expression on his face was enough to make Leksi toss Xander onto his back and return to the shore.
