by Don Cook
And, along with those things came more disturbing facts about Mallory Stanton...
Dr. Khraa-Veh ven-Bonhoeffer
Admiral, Platinum-Class, AMKEXPRA (Ret’d)
My Cosmos-Spanning Memoirs
APARTMENT 1214, BELLA VILLA APARTMENT COMPLEX
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA, USA
14 DECEMBER 6:38 PM CENTRAL TIME
“Status report on acts of cyber-spying, defamation and assassinations by Stanton, her party and other operatives” said Khraa/Astra, in casual dress attire, while in her den.
Blue 1’s computer spoke, “Status of Mallory Stanton’s acts of cyber-espionage, character defamation and termination of persons on her personal enemies list printing is now in proto-Rubiaarian in Anglo-phonetic script, as requested in binder form.”
The miniaturized ship shot a blue beam of light that materialized on her desk as a 100-page report of Stanton’s activities since the press conference 46 days earlier.
Once the report was created, Khraa/Astra picked it up and speed-read it in a way only a trained telepathic speed-reader like her could. She learned from the document just how evil Stanton and company truly were, noting hundreds of attempted acts of cyber-spying, which Khraa/Astra’s Operation Salk anti-spying cyber-antivirus had thwarted, along with scores of media-based actions of defamation, and a marked increase in assassinations by Stanton’s lackeys.
The report caused Khraa/Astra grave concern.
“I wish I knew if Stanton was Mephistula for sure,” Khraa/Astra said, “because if she was, I could do something about it, from a Known Universe legal point of view. But since I don’t know, just what can be done to stop this madwoman?!”
Her land-line phone rang. Khraa/Astra walked over to her den’s phone and answered it.
“Hello?” Khraa/Astra said. “Hi, Mike! I’ll buzz you in!”
Khraa/Astra pressed “9.” A few minutes after she made some last-minute makeup touches, a knock came from her front door. Khraa/Astra walked to look through the peephole, and, seeing it was Mike, unlocked all her door’s locks, and opened the door.
“Hi, Mike!” Khraa/Astra said.
“Hi, yourself!” Mike quipped.
“Do I look presentable?”
“You always do.”
“Seriously!” Khraa/Astra said, mildly insecure about her appearance.
“Really, you’re fine,” Mike said, “Seriously!”
Khraa/Astra chuckled as she said, “Okay, I’ll take your word for it!”
“Then let’s go.”
DIGBY’S RESTAURANT, MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA, USA
7:27 PM CENTRAL TIME
“And sometimes I goad the people I arrest with emphatic humor” Mike said, without mentioning any names, as he and Khraa/Astra enjoyed a well-done steak dinner. “For example, there was this one human trafficker who was a real wise guy with a bit of a mouth, so I read him his rights like this.”
Mike paused, before he mock-cleared his throat (which made Khraa/Astra laugh) and said, with a deliberately annoying, witty delivery, “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you?”
Both laughed as Khraa/Astra joked, “You really work them over with all those ‘you’s!’”
“That’s the idea, my dear,” Mike said with smarmy glee. “That’s the idea.”
They laughed for a moment, until Khraa/Astra asked, “So, who’s looking after your kids?”
“Val is” Mike said. “And Glenn’s studying for a test tomorrow, so my kids are in good hands, especially since I’m paying Val to babysit Donny.”
Khraa/Astra chuckled, before she said, “A little financial incentive goes a long way.”
“Ah, but there’s a catch, Astra.”
“A catch?”
“Half of what I’m paying Val goes to her college fund” Mike said. “It suits her fine because she wants to be what she calls a ‘Yankee-Doodle-Marie Curie.’”
Both laughed. Khraa/Astra said, “Well, that’s not a bad idea.”
“She and I agreed… Well, I told her she had to save half for college, but she could keep the other half.”
“Parental muscle used wisely” Khraa/Astra said. “Smart.”
Khraa/Astra and Mike ate a little more before Mike said, “You know, Astra, I’ve been thinking.”
“About what?”
“Got any plans for Christmas Day?”
“No, Mike. Why?”
“My kids are nuts about you, even before I started dating you. In fact, Glenn and Val think of you as ‘Truther Number 1.’ Donny simply adores you.”
“Wow…” Khraa/Astra said, happily taken aback. “That’s awesome.”
“What I’m trying to say is… Astra, would you like to come to my place on Christmas Day?”
Khraa/Astra was thrilled at the idea of meeting Mike’s children.
“I’d love to!” Khraa/Astra said.
HOME OF MIKE BONHOEFFER
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA, USA
25 DECEMBER, 1:15 PM CENTRAL TIME
“The snow’s not falling!” Val said, as she looked out the living room front window at the heavily-falling snow. “It’s more like a meteor shower! Is Astra really gonna show, Daddy?!”
“She said she would” Mike said. “And she’s got the RV to get her here through the pelting snow.”
“Yeah, right!” Glenn said. “And I’m Oprah Winfrey!”
Mike’s smartphone rang. He answered it and said, “Bonhoeffer?”
“Mike, it’s me, Astra,” Khraa/Astra said over the phone. “I’m using my cell in hands-free mode. Care to put me on speaker-mode?”
“Sure,” Mike said, “hang on a second.”
Mike put his smartphone on speaker-mode and set it down.
“Hey, guys!” Khraa/Astra said. “It’s me, the one and only Astra Downey, as in, The Bull-Free Truth with Astra Downey.”
“Wow!” Donny shouted.
“Cool!” Val said.
“She’s gonna show up after all!” Glenn said.
“Of course, Oprah!” Mike joked, making Val and Donny laugh.
“What’s so funny?” Khraa/Astra said. “And what’s the link between Glenn and Oprah?”
“He said if you came, he’d be Oprah!”
“Ah... A cynic! Judging from the weather, I don’t blame you, Glenn, but I’ll be there soon enough.”
“So, how are the streets for driving?” Mike asked.
“Road conditions are rough,” Khraa/Astra said, “but I’ve driven through rougher conditions up in Canada. You should see how bad some of the snowstorms can get around London, Ontario! That’s major big-time snowbelt country!”
“Not to mention Alberta!” Mike said with a chuckle. “When can we expect you?”
“In about half an hour, give or take. In the meantime, I’ve got a real cool Christmas song for all of you on my iPad. Here, I’ll play it for you guys.”
One second later, The Moody Blues’ song “Don’t Need a Reindeer” sounded from Khraa/Astra’s iPad over Mike’s smartphone. Mike, Glenn, Val and Donny, never having heard the pleasantly fun Christmas rock tune before, loved it so much that Val and Donny got up and danced with each other, while Mike and Glenn simply seat-danced.
“You’ve got Val and Donny dancing!” Mike said, as the song played.
“What did you expect?!” Khraa/Astra said playfully. As the song ended, she said, “Gotta go! See you in thirty spins of the second hand! Bye!”
“Bye!” Mike said.
“Bye!” Glenn, Val, and Donny said, before Mike hung up his smartphone.
“Well, let’s finish getting organized!” Mike said, sending Glenn, Val and Donny scurrying to finish getting their home ready for company.
Half an hour later, the front door doorbell rang. Mike went to answer it along with Glenn, Val and Donny, all c
urious about their father’s new girlfriend.
Mike opened the door, and saw his truther-sweetheart, well-dressed for the wintry weather yet covered with a dusting of snow, as he said, “Astra! Merry Christmas!”
“Mike!” Khraa/Astra said, noticing Glenn, Val and Donny’s happy faces. “Merry Christmas to you, too!”
“Come on in!” Mike said. “Get your butt out of the cold and snow!”
“Thanks!” Khraa/Astra said, as the Bonhoeffers made way for her before she walked in and then removed her boots.
“Kids,” Mike said, “this is my girlfriend, and the host of The Bull-Free Truth with Astra Downey. None other than Astra Downey herself.”
Khraa/Astra said, “Hi, guys! Merry Christmas!”
Mike motioned to Glenn as he said, “This is my oldest son, Glenn.”
Khraa/Astra mentally picked up on Glenn’s older-woman teen-boy crush, and telepathically suggested into Glenn’s mind, I’m way too old for you, and you’ve got lots of growing to do. You’re a guy of good quality, Glenn, so don’t rush growing up, okay?
“Oops! Sorry!” Glenn said, embarrassed, as he shook Khraa/Astra’s hand. “Pleased to meet you.”
“And this is Val,” Mike said, motioning his hand towards his daughter.
“Wow!” Val said, in adoration. “You’re my favorite truther. You’ll say stuff even other truthers wouldn’t dare say!”
“Why thanks!” Khraa/Astra said. “At least I now know I’m doing my job right.”
“And my youngest son, Donny” Mike said, motioning his hand towards him.
“Wow!” Donny said, as he shook Khraa/Astra’s hand, “Dad’s dating a real-life truther. You’re cool!”
“Thanks, Donny,” Khraa/Astra said, feeling happy due to the warmest welcome she had known in a long time. Picking up her boots, she asked, “Where can I put these?”
“I’ll take them and set them with our boots, Ms. Downey,” Val said.
“Thanks,” Khraa/Astra said, “and please, call me Astra, all of you.”
“I’ll take your coat, Astra,” Glenn said, as Khraa/Astra handed him her coat, “and hang it up in the closet.”
“Thanks, Glenn” Khraa/Astra said, as Glenn took her coat and hung it in the closet beside the door, while Val put Khraa/Astra’s boots with the others.
“Is there anything I can do, Astra?” Donny asked.
“Sure is, Donny” Khraa/Astra answered. “I’ve got a big bag of presents for everyone, and if you could find a place to put them for me…”
“Beside the tree’s fine, Donny” Mike said. “Just don’t set them too close to the lights.”
“Gotcha!” Donny said, as he took Khraa/Astra’s large paper bag of presents and carefully set them just under the tree, away from any Christmas lights.
“Daddy’s said lots of awesome things about you!” Val said, grinning from ear-to-ear.
“Well, your dad has said some pretty awesome stuff about you guys, too!” Khraa/Astra said to Mike’s kids.
“Tell me, Astra,” Val said, “were you really in a rock band?”
“Yes, Val. I was with an all-girl tribute band called The Moody Pinks. We were a tribute band who performed Moody Blues music. I was the band’s Justine Hayward.”
“Cool!” Val said. “Got any videos of your stuff online?”
“Well, guys,” Mike said, “let’s let Astra get settled before we chat about Moody anything.” Mike motioned to the living room as he said to Khraa/Astra, “Care to sit down for some hot chocolate?”
“Sure, Mike” Khraa/Astra said. “Winter driving takes a lot out of someone, and I’m mildly pooped.”
Everyone laughed.
“I’ll whip up the hot chocolate” Val said, before she went to get some hot chocolate ready, and as Khraa/Astra, Mike, Glenn and Donny went to sit down.
“Wow!” Donny said, as he opened the Christmas present he received from Khraa/Astra and found that it was a Spider-Man alarm clock, while he, Khraa/Astra, Mike, Glenn and Val sat in the living room opening their presents and enjoying mugs of hot chocolate around 4:30 PM.
Donny ran over to Khraa/Astra and hugged her as he said to her, “Thanks, Astra!”
“Your dad gave me the idea,” Khraa/Astra said, as Donny sat back down and Val finished opening Khraa/Astra’s present to her, a slide rule that gratefully amazed Val.
“Wow! This is so cool!” Val said. “A slide rule!”
“I know you love science a lot” Khraa/Astra said. “After all, your dad called you his ‘science girl.’”
“But they don’t make them anymore” a pleasantly astonished Val said. “Where did you find it?”
“Where else?” Khraa/Astra said. “Online.”
(In truth, Khraa/Astra utilized her handheld memcon, various Internet websites, and precise measuring methods of which Earthlings were still ignorant to atom-molecularly manufacture the slide rule Val was holding so lovingly.)
“You’re the best!” Val said, giving Khraa/Astra a big hug. “Thanks!”
Val returned to her chair and sat down, ogling and scientifically caressing her new slide rule, as Glenn finished unwrapping his present, which was an artist’s sketch-book with artist’s pencils, pastels and drawing charcoal. Glenn was thankfully impressed.
“Thanks, Astra, for seeing that this jock has an…” Glenn said, while he made “quote-unquote” hand gestures, “‘Artistic’ side. I suppose Dad told you, huh?”
“Yes,” Khraa/Astra said. “Your dad’s a fine father, and he is my best friend and the most marvelous man ever!” Khraa/Astra gave Mike a quick kiss on the cheek. “You should be proud of him, and thankful you’ve got him. And speaking of your dad…”
Khraa/Astra happily handed Mike her three-item gift to him, which he opened. It was a collection of three sets of Blu-Rays and DVDs: a Blu-Ray copy of The Day the Earth Stood Still from 1951; a DVD of The Moody Blues Night at Red Rocks concert from 1992; and a DVD set of the complete series of Get Smart.
“Thanks!” Mike said. “And you, Astra, are the most marvelous lady ever!”
Mike kissed her on the lips dearly.
“Please, Dad,” Donny said, “not in front of us children!”
Everyone laughed.
“I understand, son. Now, for my gift to you, my dear.”
Mike handed a giftwrapped 12-inch vinyl LP. Khraa/Astra unwrapped the square present, and saw that it was a very rare, early budget-priced vinyl copy of The Moody Blues’ album Days of Future Passed. Khraa/Astra was ecstatic.
“Wow!” Khraa/Astra exclaimed, wowed by how Mike thought of her. “One of the earliest copies of Days of Future Passed! How did you get it?”
“An old English record shop owner-friend of mine retired and wanted me to have it,” Mike said. “But I thought you’d love it more, seeing that your college band was The Moody Pinks.”
“Thanks!” Khraa/Astra said.
“Well,” Mike said, looking at the old-style clock on the living room fireplace, “I think we could all use a good helping of Christmas dinner.”
Val said. “You bet. I’m starved!”
“Me, too!” Glenn said honestly.
“Me, three!” Donny said, with the same hungry honesty.
“And me four!” Khraa/Astra chuckled, also hungrily eager to feast on the Yuletide dinner awaiting them.
Mike said, “So, let’s go eat!”
Everyone got up with their mugs, and walked to the dining room/kitchen area.
“Dear Lord,” Mike began in prayer, as he sat with kids and Khraa/Astra at the dining room table, “we give thanks to You for this Yuletide meal we’re about to receive… For the blessing of my lady-love Astra’s presence here with us this Christmas Day… And for the gift You gave us all — Your Son, Jesus — in that manger in far-off Bethlehem many, many centuries ago. In Your name, Jesus, we pray… And everyone at the table said —”
“Amen!” all present said.
“Dig in, folks!” Mike said, just before everyone began to eat the
ir Christmas dinner, enjoying the turkey, gravy, dressing, mashed potatoes, heated buns, various fruits and vegetables, and other delectable holiday delights before them.
“So,” Val said to Khraa/Astra, “how does it feel to be a truther?”
“What do you mean?” Khraa/Astra asked.
“I mean, is there danger involved?”
“You bet, Val. My life’s been threatened many times. In fact, for a while back in October, I had to hightail it to the woods just south of Canada to get to safety until things cooled down enough for me to rejoin civilization. I sometimes do my podcasts from my RV.”
“It must get you through the snow really good,” Donny said.
“That’s well, Donny,” Val said, to correct her little brother.
“Whatever.”
“But you’re right, Donny,” Khraa/Astra said. “It gets me through a lot of different kinds of bad weather, and some natural disasters. Some Marines have even told me they wish they had a tank that’s like my RV.”
“Wow!” Donny said. “An RV that’s better than a tank!”
“That vehicle’s gotten me through lots of scrapes. In fact, I can tell you that just last —”
A loud thud muffled by the snow came from outside, near the driveway.
“What was that?!” Khraa/Astra said, worried.
“I don’t know” Mike said. No more loud noises came from outside, prompting Mike to comment, “It must be the neighbor’s dog again —”
A second, louder thud came from the driveway. Mike and Khraa/Astra became concerned.
“It came from the driveway,” Mike said. “Somebody might be trying to break into my car or your RV, Astra. I’ll go out and have a look —”
Khraa/Astra said, “I’m going with you —”
“No!” Mike said adamantly. “I’m FBI. I can handle this —”
“And it’s my RV!” Khraa/Astra said. “I’ve had to defend myself before. I have a special way of using my car and apartment keys in self-defense. If someone’s after something in my RV —”
